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How do INTJs communicate?

INTJs are direct and detached in their communication. They often naturally see how something could be done better and usually communicate their criticism in a straightforward, logical manner. They are typically independent and calm; they are not so much concerned about being liked or appreciated as they are with being competent and thoughtful. Their communications are typically well thought-out, insightful, and strategic. They often plan well into the future and offer big-picture analysis for improving systems.

What are INTJs like as partners?

In relationships, the INTJ is loyal but independent. INTJs can be almost scientific in choosing a mate and make devoted partners once they have found a match that fits their rigorous list of requirements. They often have clear ideas about what makes for a solid relationship and are unwavering in their pursuit of this ideal.

INTJs often have a passion for self-improvement and are encouraging of their partners' goals and intellectual pursuits. However, they do not usually see the need for frivolous affection or romance, feeling that their devotion should be evident. They are more focused on serving their partners with hard work and resourceful problem-solving than they are on showering them with attention.

INTJs' partners often find them difficult to read, and indeed they do not show emotion easily; they find the process of discussing emotions much too messy and disorganized. They enjoy solving difficult problems, but are often out of their depth when it comes to illogical, unpredictable personal issues.

INTJs value a partner that allows them the independence to achieve their goals, and one who appreciates their efficacy, insight, and ability to offer creative solutions to problems.

What are INTJs like as parents?

As parents, INTJs are devoted and supportive. They set firm limits and provide consistent reinforcement, but within that structure allow a lot of latitude for their children to explore their own interests and potential. They are encouraging of their childrens' intellectual pursuits and enthusiastic about sharing knowledge.

INTJs enjoy the process of developing a young mind, and get a lot of satisfaction from parenting. They want to develop productive, competent, and self-sufficient children who think for themselves.

INTJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the INTJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the INTJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The INTJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between INTJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

INTJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the INTJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the INTJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the INTJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the INTJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

Are you an INTJ?

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Comments

Guest (not verified) says...

Funny - your description of an INTJ is pretty spot on. Until I discovered Myers Briggs a few years ago, I really thought that there was something wrong with me - in that I can't communicate properly or clearly enough to keep people's attention or to properly illustrate the answer.... Then, I discovered that it has more to do with how my brain works then how I present or articulate the answer... And how others receive it of course... Turns out, I'm not insane, just was having a hard time understanding how others receive and process information and therefore, was having a hard time communicating clearly with them. I still have challenges but more so in "how" I want to go about helping folks to understand so my frustrations seem more grounded and able to be influenced by experience and thought compared to thinking that I'm insane or everyone else is insane since really, there is no cure for that (by in large)... Again, still infuriating but more constructive infuriation, I suppose....

~Sage
aka Ninja

Angelica (not verified) says...

You and I had the same problem.

Guest (not verified) says...

Me too! This test really amazed me and brought so much insight into my life!!!

Guest (not verified) says...

Me too... I have a hard time explaining stuff to people, because I assume they think the same way as I do. Turns out, they usually can't follow my line of thought. I don't believe in God either, and have high expectations of other people. But I'm not that independent. I can grow very emotionally attached to some people I like, and it's very easy to hurt me, too...
Spot-on. I didn't think INTJ was such a rare personality though... Makes sense, in a way.

guest (not verified) says...

I thought I was kinda of werido until I read this and realize I just have a rare personality type.

maddie (not verified) says...

Yeah!
I feel like whenever I work with other people, they're like "let's do this!" and it's so stupid and inefficient and I'm like no we should do this, it's a much better solution, and they just stare at me like, what the hell.

Guest (not verified) says...

I usually just go ahead and demonstrate the better solution anyway.

Guest (not verified) says...

Me too! It all makes sense now!

Tim (not verified) says...

I've had a similar experience. I hate admitting this, but it is the truth. I was a horrible student in school, and never finished college. I hated my instructors because once somebody attempted to talk down to me I would shut them out completely.... I viewed them as being low IQ idiots, and who is going to pay attention to somebody like that? What that has meant for me is that I've lived an unfulfilled life, working unrewarding jobs, and I admit I have contemplated suicide on more than on occasion. Who wants to live in a world where they don't fit in, can't find seem to get established in a career, and their entire existence is devoid of any enjoyment or pleasure? As it is, I am literally a step above homeless. I'm living back with my parents - at 44 years of age - and I can't seem to find the resources to enable me to finish college.(My students loans fell into default, even though they are slowly being paid off) I've been unemployed for the last year and it has been devastating to me on a personal and emotional level. I just can't seem to make it in this world, and I can't see a way out of this situation.
I've taken the MB tests in various forms over 100 times, and I am most definitely a strong INTJ.
Sometimes I can't even sleep at night, I will lay down and my mind races and sleep never comes, so I wind up getting up until I almost pass out... I am guessing this is part of the depression I am facing. There was a time in my life when I had a purpose in my life and I felt like my life mattered, and I was of some service, but these days that is all gone. Here is the funny part: INTJ's are typically not strong believers in "God", but I spent almost 18 years in a religious cult. I bought it hook line and sinker, and in the end, I was deceived by somebody who is, in their own mind, deceived. It was definitely a case of the blind leading the blind, and in the end, after the death of one of my closest friends, I had a nervous breakdown of sorts, and because I did not understand how to deal with the emotional distress I was facing, I began eating to make myself feel better. In the end, I wound up weighing 420lbs by 2006. I finally went to the doctor and was told,"Lose it or die." I lost 121lbs and have fluctuated between 300lbs and 330lbs since 2006. I have not been able to lose any more weight. It is as if somebody else is in control of my mind when it comes to eating, and that just drives me deeper into depression. Some days i am fine, some days I am saddened by the fact that I woke up.

Guest (not verified) says...

I sugest you create a posative visualization board. Get images that motivate & inspire you, & paste them onto the board; like a collage. Hang or mount that board upon the wall. Choose a spot that you have the highest tendancy to glance/gaze/star at in your home, when your feeling self-defeating. Scan an image-copy into your cell phone. That way, you can look at it anytime & everywhere you go. Seek a free gym & if one can't be found: "closed mouthes don't get fed", so go into a local gym & talk to a person in charge (like the director) & tell your life story [the lack of hope, low self-esteem, thoughts of suacide, depression, the reason for your over-eating, etc.]... also try a yoga or thi-chi intrructor/instructed facility. Even hiking! You need to get exercise. Go to the gvt. office for free resources list & ask about free counseling. Taking charge of your health is great!! Try raw or vegan foods & juicing. Look up other peoples progress in their weightloss journys utalizing the raw foods or vegan or juicing in YouTube :). Take up hobbies (card games, modle car building, dancing, reading uplifting or non negative books, art, music, needle-point, berry picking, bird watching, etc.! :) This will help keep your mental focus off of negativity's. Start a journal! Speak posative affirmations. Mimmic power posses. Force your self to smile for 1-2 minutes straight, before you roll out of bed. Take free online classes! Watch the TED channel. Take gratitude in the fact that your having this allotted time to renew your spirit & replenish your life! This is a season in your life to take action to heal. Because things will start to look up & change for the better, & your life will end up being better than you can currently imagine.

binchlifllyihoydd says...

Thanks for that Good advice. What I know is that there are no permanent problems in this world, We make them worse or overcome them depending on how approach it, & also I realized that he/she has invested much time and energy on the negative things happening in his/her life, instead of accepting challenges as part of life and trying to find a way out of it instead of being suicidal.
With your power of mind, complex challenges should be like the first few hours you spend to familiarize yourself with an 'alien' systems.

Guest (not verified) says...

Tim, I don't know if this will make anything better, but here goes. Although my case may sound exactly the opposite (I did study - got a PhD), that part was mainly because I had a father who taught me to see conventional learning not as "narrow-minded individuals" teaching me, but as (a) stage in my own development, which it was within MY decision to place within my OWN bigger-picture of life (he taught me to take decisions very early in life - my first important one was at age 10, not that it wasn't a guided decision of course). An ISFP himself, he did a fantastic job at teaching me how to see the big picture and find my own way. However, that did not satisfy my "TJ", to put it simplistically. With an ESFJ mother, I did get some structure in my life, though in most cases with eyes rolling from me... The thing is, it was only in my mid-20s that I actually came into contact with a great mentor for me (he was a coach) who could really see not only the potential, but especially important, the WAYS for ME to work on what I was missing (ways he helped ME find). All this did NOT spare me from depression and overeating (realising the difference between what "could be" and what is can be tough - I'm sure I don't need to get into details)... However, the MAIN lesson I learned from my coach was self-responsibility. This is where I see empowerment for each and every INTJ (and surely, not only): "what can I do to change what I don't like in my life?" is the constant question I ask myself...
As for the weight, what really helped me with food addiction were books by Jason Vale and among others, a film by Joe Cross. What helped me move were Tracy Anderson's DVDs. Until I was 25, I had numerous religious searches (luckily, I only spent 1 year in what was called a "cult" in my country). All those searches led me to the same conclusion, which may of course be different for each individual... The point is, we have one life and it is NEVER too late to start acting towards our own right way...
The only thing I would suggest giving it a go is to find a coach you feel in sync with as much as possible.
Best of luck!

Guest (not verified) says...

Tim, it's all in your head I smoked for over 20 years. And, one day I told myself I didn't smoke, and if I do smoke I would be that 50 year old man working around with the oxygen tank. The one tool you have, the thing that will empower you is your imagination. You have the will to stop if you use the right tools. Ask yourself when do you eat? why do you eat? where do you eat? And, remove those things from your life. If you continue to eat what will you look like to the outside world! Do not become convinced that by losing this weight it's going to solve all your problems, because it's not going too. Yet, it's one problem at a time, one day at a time. Stay focused,set reasonable goals, and whatever you do don't give up. Since, I quit smoking I gained 50 lbs, and like you I need to lose 50 lbs. So, I have a plan, (My Plan My Way)and I'll lose all of it by Christmas. What ya say 50 lbs by Christmas?

Guest (not verified) says...

Yes. I know this story. Here are a few of the directions I tried that correlate with the other wit driven replies. Find counsel, talk private live public. Avoid bigPharma meds, but consider recent research on refined nicotine [NA+] such as found in smoking cessation gums, lozenges and huffers. There is a lot of control over appetite (self-medication drives) and mental processing that can be had quite cheaply, and relatively safely here. Accept fluctuations and confide in professionals and skilled inspirational, while at the same time avoiding the industrial pep-talk circuit. Test your talents and aim at them. Relent to and unload activities unrelated to your personal aptitudes. If you are given to tipples, downgrade your choices to non-carbohydrate traditional forms like wine and non-sugar liquor in modest pleasure reward cycles. Consider a fat based diet, such as in LCHF and the recent research there (see Gary Taubes). Don't sweat the living with parents social stigma by reading up on Generation Theory by Strauss & Howe. Social and Cultural conditions really are awful, and your personal role in the effects of these phenomena is very small relative to the violent polity that drives them. Consider your political tendencies by taking a few of the political tendencies tests floating around on-line. Advocate on your own terms in opposition to the shittiness of the world. Develop a privacy centred imaginary for your emotional Fi life, for instance; an environmentally protected lake, an RSO 3 class 1 cleanroom, or a pristine natural park with limited licensed visitors. Avoid giving away emotional leverage to meddlers, nuisance people and the cruel. Discern the associations between your Intuition and your Feelings. Consider Bergsonian (Henri Bergson) intuition as a philosophical ground for activating and mobilizing your reception. House plants and low emotion pets, such as in terrariums and aquariums can be subtly reassuring. Use your screen saver to set unconscious conceptual and self-goal type reminders. Have a look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Go to a few art galleries and museums as needed. Bother people who seem intelligent with your own thoughts until they either run from or reply to your interests. Get your genome tested, learn more about your traits, so as to understand yourself as a biological identity with bio-power. Throw up a private blog and invite people you admire. Expect less from people than yourself, but be prepared to blow off either in tight corners where things don't work out with exact precision. Review your old toys, games and objects you used to like, and keep them around for reflection. Be patient, be dangerous, and try to solve one or more of the problems that you judge are making the world harmful and its citizens wrong-headed.

Bon Chance!

Guest (not verified) says...

Tim,

I am the same. A little younger, but cult, education, depression are all the same.

I disagree with some of the replies given to you. In my experience many of them are just busy-work that gives you comfort that you are doing something. Here is the truth: eat less, move more, be happy, move on. Eat one bite less. Move for 5 minutes. Have a goal to make yourself happy once per day. Taking the smallest steps possible will get more results than reading gurus and having a more enlightened view of your problems. ITNJ's try and think ourselves out of the problem. Now though, you have to *do* something. Which is not the area we are most comfortable in.

When I left the JW cult, I had to leave my family, community, and every single friend I had. But, I can have a life now, the people still in the religion are in stasis. They will die never growing beyond their world. You are able to start over, have a career, kids, anything you want. You just have to take it. Shake it off and live beyond what they could ever imagine.

Guest (not verified) says...

Baloney. Just because someone chooses to have faith in a Higher Being does not necessarily mean that he or she is "in stasis" and "will never [grow] beyond their world." I know plenty of religious people (myself included) who are intellectually curious. We just choose also to believe in a God.

I'll admit some worship a version of God which permits no thought, no questions, no vision beyond a literal interpretation of the Book of Genesis, which thinking religious folk are able to recognize as being full of myths from a dingle culture. However, if someone can get past that, they certainly are not in stasis, even though some people in branches which accept such truths still choose to think the who world was populated 6000 years ago by a single man and a single woman. That speaks more for them than about their religion.

Your rude attack on this which you yourself choose not to believe in may be one big reason you lost all your friends, even those who do have intellectual curiosity.

Guest (not verified) says...

Thanks for sharing this about yourself, Tim. I think summaries of INTJs tend to gloss over just how difficult it is to not instinctively understand your own emotions. We might be intensely pragmatic, but we are still human. Not being able to identify your own feelings and needs is a HUGE hardship, especially if you're predisposed to brain chemistry issues or experience PTSD/trauma. I often feel like I can understand everything but myself. If I'm unsatisfied, unhappy, or frustrated with something in my life, it can take years for me to realize where that negativity is coming from. To make matters worse, I feel ashamed of myself if I can't logically justify my feelings. Consequently, if I experience an irrational emotion like jealousy, I keep it locked away inside and berate myself for ever having felt it -- which obviously just makes matters worse. It's also really hard for me to extricate myself from toxic and manipulative people, if they're savvy enough to appeal to my sense of logic. No matter how badly I feel, I will stay and suffer if it objectively looks like a "fair" situation.

The only advice I can offer is to try familiarizing yourself with your own feelings. It can be hard, but you're capable of using your rational deduction skills to figure out what's missing from your life and how to go about attaining it. I find that keeping a journal helps with this, since it's a way to express what's on my mind without the additional stress of making sure it's understandable to someone else. It's also helpful to look back over a week or month or year of your own mental/emotional ups and downs and analyze it like any other data -- finding what activities and people made you happy, which ones triggered depressive cycles, and what mistakes get repeated. You'd probably also benefit from exploring different forms of spirituality and seeing if you can find one that makes sense to you. Losing your religion as well as a close friend is an enormous trauma, and it sounds like it's robbed you of your hope. It could make a world of difference for you to find something bigger than yourself to believe in, on your own terms and in your own way. I wish you the best of luck!

Guest (not verified) says...

Thank you, whoever made that comment! Really rings true - I hadn't appreciated how difficult it is, as an INTJ, to admit to, feel OK with, let alone understand ones own emotions, particularly the really negative and painful ones. Good tips offered. I think these will help me, and hope they might help Tim too.... All the best to you, Guest and Tim, whoever you are!!

jimthearchitect says...

Tim, I am with you!

I am older than you, and living back at home. I went 3 years to college and quit, went through the meaningless job thing and now can't get a job. So I am looking at going back to school - and here is something practical for you. They have this 'loan rehabilitation' program. I did it and it works. They ask you to make really small payments for 6 months. Mine were $12 a month. After that you are put on the track to going back to school - meaning that if you apply for a loan for school, they will take care of it and approve it. After another 6 months you are officially rehabilitated, your penalties and fees are waived, and re-set back to the principle.

Here is another good part: If you cannot afford the payments, you can get a 6 month deferral. In that time, if you get a job you can start paying back the loan, or if you are enrolled full-time in school you can get another deferral.

Start there and let me hear back from you. We're all in this together.

Peace,
Jim

Deep Thinker (not verified) says...

Tim, I have no idea how long ago your comment was XD, but I strongly challenge you to look up the Paleo or Primal Lifestyle. It's so much more than diet, and it helped me when I was in depression a few years ago.

Ally9889 (not verified) says...

Eating a healthier paleo foods aslo helped my mom with depression. It also healed me of a very severe case of Crohn's Disease :), if all people ate like this, which obviously wouldn't happen,..but if they did.. most diseases wouldn't be as common, and people would rarely get sick.

Guest (not verified) says...

I know INTJ's don't typically believe in God, but I do. I am a strong Christian (Baptist, to be specific). I went through something similar, not quite the same, but I want you to know that you are not alone. I know you might not appreciate me telling you this, but I think you should turn back to him. Seek a counselor (they can actually help, sometimes) or someone you feel understands you. Please don't hate me if I am totally wrong.

Guest (not verified) says...

Don't worry, I've had the same problems. By times I've given up of explaining this sort of things to others. People judged by stereotypes clarifying us in their own way when we go far beyond that and too unwilling to explain to them. We reached to have a full life and rejected doing the same thing and living the same life in the same place everyday. I personally hate being told to change and sometimes there's so much thing going on inside my head I thought it might explode. I suppose in a way you need someone to let it all out, being a psychologist or a good friend. Getting advices suck and I'm not trying to advice you but just stretching out the possibilities. It helps. Sometimes you just want to be listened as who you are

INTJ Guest (not verified) says...

I am much younger than you. I also went through some trouble, I did get some weight, told myself it was the exams.. Eventually I decided that that was it, I changed my diet to mostly vegetables and a few carbs, stopped all sweets started using the small plates in the kitchen, refused more then 3 meals a day and started daily running. I was loosing half a kilo a day, my parents were concerned. I kept it up for a little more than two weeks. After I stabilised I ate some ice cream and since then I have never gone above my limit (by still using small plates, 3 meals and gym). Besides some weight, I also had to deal with some emotional issues. The last two yers of school were almost a disaster, my friends had al left to different schooling systems, my grades were not good enough to do what I wanted and my father (ESFP) pretty much caused me depression by constantly telling me that it will all be ok and then screaming every night to my mother that I am useless and have no future. I did think of suicide for a little time but then thought that it would not change anything. I then realised that the only thing that could save me was my logic. I dismissed everyone as idiots and assumed that only what I said mattered. I put down my target and found the solution. I still could not get what I wanted with my grades but I bended the rules, added a year in my studies and entered anyway. Once I left the country to study and live on my own everything changed, a couple of new friends, freedom and a lot of potential. I now have finished my barchelors, currently working on my Masters and preparing my applications for my PHD.

BTW, money isn't flowing here either. My Student loan still keeps everything floating but it is tied with an EU grant which states I will only pay back if I find a job with a minimum pay.

Also check for "Open University". It is a UK online university that operates globally, it is quite good (not top of the top but still good) and will only cost around £3000 (give or take). You will have to buy your own books and study in your own time but you can do it and you can work too (and study part time).

You have lost a lot of time but there is more time waiting for you. Just loose weight and start a course to get your self confidence back, try and find a job and use the money to find a place of your own and start a hobby that inspires you, and who knows, maybe you will meet someone along the way as well.

Time is the most important thing of all (that and your health). I am young, I stumbled a little but I am now glad I know that in my really early 20s. Never give up, it is just not logical, just do it.

Also my grandfather (INTJ as well) was a rich engineer. He used his entire fortune to build his own ceramic factory but later lost it to a "friend"/partner in a legal dispute. He had nothing, he was alone and not the youngest either but he rebuilt his fortune (some at least), got married and lived long enough to se his grandchildren. If that doesn't prove anything can change both ways, I don't know what does.

Guest (not verified) says...

I am an INTJ and have a PhD (in cognitive science) and an axiety/depressive disorder. First regarding suicide and depression the research is clear: you need to take both anti-depressents and regularly see a counsellor/psychologist/psychiatrist. The overeating is a symptom of your depression and wont be under any longterm control until your depression is. Also note that exercise can also help with depression (and weight). I know, I've been there myself.

As for education, it is important to realise that you have faults and that your way of thinking is not the only valid approach. As an academic I can assure you that the college students who are most unteachable are (probably) INTJs who think that they know everything and that they do not have to listen to anyone else. I know this because I can have the same tendency. The fact that other people think differently does not mean that their ideas are false. Don't confuse the process (thinking style) with the content (being true or false).

As for emotions, I was lucky enough to grow up with an emotionally brilliant sister who demanded that I understand feelings (to the extent that I can). I have found a lot of the advice on http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html to be particularly useful. We have emotions, trying to ignore them only makes them stronger and more uncontrolable, and our emotions or gut hunches can in fact be a good guide to ideas that in general are true.

SA (not verified) says...

Hey, I was top in class for sometime. I represented my country for an olympiad. Then I became the only person from my batch who did not clear college. This was not because I did not know much.then I started business. And it is good. I can't reveal more. Now, we have a choice to either sit around and hope the system takes us in or do what we do best. Engage the system and make a better one. In whatever way we can. Maybe it is a small system that you can change. But be your own boss. You are the mastermind, the creator of systems. Find something you are good at and pursue it and become the best in it. And one thing I think you need to understand is that, in this path you will have to go against what everyone around you says. Even your parents. You will have to fight them and fight till you succeed. And when you do, present the success in a manner that the rest of the world understands (all the pointless PR and publicity). Everyone who stood against you will appreciate you then. You are superman. Now realize that.

GirlWhoKnits (not verified) says...

Putter around. See what you're good at. Do you find ways to do something better, faster or differently? When you do things for others, what are the things you do that people react the most positively to?

Everyone has innate abilities, much of it they aren't personally aware of, because it's second nature. It can take other people pointing out your strengths for you to embrace and exploit them for gain and a career path.

I hated school too, I went in as an art major (btw, that is another pitfall of INTJs good at at many things, even things you don't particularly like), I was so miserable that I got sick. I ditched school. Eventually I met bosses who steered me one by one into the right path because they noticed and helped me exploit my inherent skills. I work in technology now and outearn many other people because I always want to learn (early adapter), and I implement changes that improve efficiency on my own. I do however have a problem thinking a lot of people are idiots and how on earth they managed to get out of bed that day. You learn to re-engineer that into a healthy sense of humor, to avoid going crazy dealing with the unchangeable. :)

Learn to cook complex foods. You spend so much time cooking that by the time you get to eating, you're exhausted. I also find making complex dishes exercises my organizational and efficiency creation skills. When I learned to make pasta by hand, I got some serious arm muscle toning!

Learn to use the good and bad traits associated with this group to your benefit.

Guest (not verified) says...

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one with this problem. :))

Guest (not verified) says...

Sadly I am finding I fall even further into the rare dysfunctional category of a borderline psychopathic asexual/demisexual intj female.

There is only one universe I would be happy in and that's the one where I could literally be a comic book super villian. ;__;

Guest (not verified) says...

Hahaha Yes, I am also a female INTJ and as I was reading about INTJ I couldn't help but think that it was describing a huge asshole and at the same time think "but it perfectly describes me". C'est la Vie.

Guest (not verified) says...

I have the same problem I don't explain my self enough for people to follow me I'm glad when there is someone else understand what I said. Its not me. I don't give out detail only on a need to know base.

Guest (not verified) says...

Lol on the need to know basis. I have a recently acquired friend and he calls getting to know me "peeling the onion". He says that in order to learn about me, he has to know the correct questions to ask, and only by knowing me better does he know the questions that give him the answers he seeks. He calls it the onion process because it is difficult for both of us, as is peeling an onion without shedding tears. He describes it as "not being forthcoming"! I have never lied and always answer the question, but only the question that is asked and not one iota more.

Guest (not verified) says...

I agree as an intj i do not have the people skills needed for human interaction. That being laid out i know what i am. I have no freinds and am very happy about it. I dont care about emotional b.s most people come up with in their heads. Knowing this i went to college as a math major. The high intellect we posses makes us almost unmeasurable in a conventional sense. Has anyone else been ask a question and given such a passionately detailed answer the people around say you make their stomatches hurt and they ask you to stop talking? Happened to me alot i stopped talking to others about anything but the weather. You know we dont talk or care about other people or their things only ideas will get validated. Go into yourself and you will be happy. I have one peice of advice. Do Not Work With People. If i tell a computer or a peice of machinery what to do; it does not ask why. I like the personality of the equations on my chalkboard.

Guest (not verified) says...

Oh my gosh, Sheldon in the flesh!

Guest (not verified) says...

I would be extravagantly wealthy if I had an minimal amount for every time I have been told to stop talking. Even teachers tell me not to "get off topic" , which just means "I don't want to discuss further because most of the class doesn't understand what your saying."
Also has anybody else have or had a problem with continous procrastination?

Guest (not verified) says...

I am a female INTJ and I self-identify as a medieval monk, so everybody has to leave me alone. I read Evelyn Underhill and books written by medieval monks. It's a great life. The best.

Guest (not verified) says...

I have never agreed more...

Guest (not verified) says...

Someone understands my struggle

Guest (not verified) says...

I had the problem as well. Drove me nuts for years, my parents even sent me to a therapist in high school. That's when she told me I just had a rare personality, and I decided to take several different tests like this just to make sure.

Guest (not verified) says...

I know it's great, in the past I have dealt with people insulting me saying how emotionally detached I am, when it's truly not the case I simply express feeling when I see that their is a need for it. I have always thought I was different and no one in my immediate peer group truly understands. Now that I have been open to the Myers Briggs personality types it has helped me deal with that isolation, and I'm happy to hear how many more people there are similar to me. It has also given me more insight behind the things I do, knowing the how and why I may do something has given me a chance to take a step back and reconsider.

lisavishoot says...

I'm over 40 and still having trouble conveying my ideas to others, even when to me it's as clear as glass. I'd even get frustrated and start to stutter. I passed up promotions because they involved a lot of speaking, explaining, etc. And to make matters worse, I'm a lefty and I'm mainly using my right (non-verbal) brain. I'm an artist, and at first didn't know how that fit into being an INTJ, but now I see that somehow in my mind art and science are one. I'm female too, and it sounds like female INTJ's are even rarer than males. Well, from the list of famous INTJ's and everyone's comments here, I am in great company.

Guest (not verified) says...

I enjoyed reading your information. As I am also a female INTJ and the area you wrote about your communication skills with others..that is so me. I am 52 and only found out about this personality type through myers briggs a couple of years ago..my son was in the military and told me about it. I was considered weird my mother once said..why can't you be like everyone else..I told her I am not every one else, I am my own person. The thinking judging portion was so high for me..I was always analyzing thoughts in my head and everything going on around me. It was of help for me at this age as my sisters & parents never got anywhere, lived off the system. I, thinking through everything, have been married 26 years & own 5 homes. If anything, intj personality types , we can muddle through a lot. It can be extremely lonely especially when intjs are younger, teen years, depression can set in because we just don't fit anywhere. Sorry I am rambling on...I have read a lot of what people have written...probably 90% hits home with me. Now my husband and I are looking towards retirement.

Guest (not verified) says...

As an INTJ whose introversion is mild to moderate, while the other preferences are all hard over, I can say that discovering personality type theory enabled me to be much more accepting of myself and others. I have found that preferable to looking at large sections of humanity as either fools or criminals.

Guest (not verified) says...

I've struggled with the same things, that feeling of being completely misunderstood when the answer is so clear in my own mind - and why do others not see it too! And yes, it's sometimes hard to explain to others because I just "see" the logical outcome but have a hard time walking others through it. Now I can at least better understand the disconnect and not get so frustrated. Nice to know I'm not the only one....

Guest (not verified) says...

I have this problem at times, but then I figure out the person's intellectual and cultural grounds and explain my insane theory with examples that suits their intellect or culture. Maybe they still don't understand but then at least I keep them interested. And then I just skip the painful process of explaining the hard part, which also I do.

Guest 2.0 (not verified) says...

This is really cool how spot on this is.

Guest (not verified) says...

Loved this! Very detailed and applicable. I especially enjoyed the parenting section! (^_^)

nora.freiwald says...

Great information.
It fits me perfectly and helped me better understand some aspects of my personality that on ocassion I made me feel out of place.
Thank you!

Angelica (not verified) says...

The relationship section was something I had the most trouble with but it explained a lot about myself, I thought maybe I was too cold.

Joanne (not verified) says...

INTJ needs to balance the outer and inner world. It is good to abstract knowledge of various kinds, even to something one does not like. Participating in it with a full insightful comprehension and presenting / communicating it in a much simplified manner, add some flavor of empathetic feelings and emotions. Many INTJ face problem with feelings, they even abuse their own feelings. Learn to talk into people's heart by taking others as a 'challenging subject' in order to make them understand what an INTJ is talking about, the relationship can gradually built up. It is a good start to get into the outer world. Relationship is no doubt an important surviving ingredients in the society. Though INTJ does not feel lonely being alone, they must not forget all subjects that are processed in their minds are largely came from people- relationship. Balance the emotional world well, it's an interesting place.

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