The holidays can be a stressful time for everyone but especially so for Introverts. From the pressure to buy presents, to the small talk you’ll have to endure, these quieter types can find the festive season exhausting. As Introverts, we may not always express this discomfort out-loud, but it still affects us. Sound familiar? 

Have a laugh with our selection of twelve things you might hear an Introvert say during the holidays.

1. Do you really want to host Christmas dinner here?

You know the feeling of committing to something right away, only to have a: ‘what was I thinking’ moment later? That often happens to IXFPs when the subject is Christmas. These personalities usually love the festive season, so they want to make sure everything goes smoothly. Still, don’t be surprised if your Introvert starts freaking out about hosting Christmas dinner. With all the excitement, they probably didn’t think it through, and are now panicking.                                                                                                                       

2. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to go to that party

Extraverts beware: your Introvert may not say this out-loud, but we’re most certainly thinking about it. The holidays typically mean many gatherings and, while some Introverts enjoy socializing in small groups, we actually refuel by spending time alone. Meaning large parties with strangers are not really our thing. If, however, there’s an event you really must attend, my tip for fellow Introverts is to have a plan of action prepared for leaving early. 

3. Christmas is not Christmas without helping the less fortunate

Some Introverts have a hard time dealing with the commercial aspect of the holidays, thinking everyone should be caring about issues that are more important than presents. Fe users, in particular, are service-oriented which means they feel better when accommodating other people’s needs (we can also be terrible at setting boundaries, but that’s a story for another day). Therefore, for these types, Christmas is also about helping the less fortunate.

4. Remember when…

For the introverted types with traditionalist inclinations (looking at you, ISFJs and ISTJs), the holidays are not only a time to gather the family, but also to keep traditions alive. So, it’s only natural that these personalities reminisce about past Christmases. In addition, for many of us, the holidays are a time of celebration, sure, but they can be tinted with melancholy too. That person looking wistfully at an empty chair during Christmas dinner? Probably an Introvert. 

5. The mall is way too crowded

Not every Introvert suffers from agoraphobia, but, generally, we like to avoid crowds. There’s too much stimulation and distractions everywhere, which can overwhelm us and drain our energy. Hence, why shopping malls during this time of the year are a living hell for Introverts. My tip? Shop online, or set another day to finish your Christmas shopping (try your high street, instead).

6. Why buy a real Christmas tree when you can get a fake one?

The eco-friendly Introvert in your family is likely to say (maybe whisper) this, in the hopes that someone will listen. Personally, I always considered buying a real Christmas tree every year an environmental crime. The INTJs in my life, however, think Christmas trees are stupid in general: fake, or not. 

7. If you need me, I’ll be in my room

This is something I said a lot as an Introverted kid whenever my parents had people visiting. Truth is, while your family may frown upon you locking yourself in your room, solitude is often what we need to recharge. So if you live with an Introvert, be patient.

8. Is the music too loud, or is it just me?

This one is mostly rhetorical: the music is usually too loud for your typical Introvert. However, something else might be at play here. Some Introverts are also HSPs (highly sensitive people). As a highly sensitive person, certain sounds, smells, or sensations that don’t affect other people, can make you uncomfortable. Both INFJs and INFPs are the types most likely to also be HSPs.

9. It’s lovely to have the family together again

Sometimes meant sarcastically, other times sincerely. As an Introvert myself, I enjoy having my immediate family reunited during the holidays. However, when that tiny group of people is extended, and am forced to socialize with relatives I’ve never seen in my life, I find the whole thing very uncomfortable. My advice? Indulge in some immediate self-care. If you feel like you’re going mad, text your introverted bestie for some validation, and support. They’ll remind you that you’re not the only one going bonkers during the holidays.

10. You don’t have to get me anything

When an Introvert tells you this, they’re usually being genuine. Some introverted types don’t really care about the holidays and may even find certain traditions silly. Yet, an Introvert could also beg you not to buy them a present if they’re very specific about what they want. The idea of having to return it, and potentially hurt your feelings in the process? Ghastly. Finally, your Introvert may just want to take the pressure off you. After all, they know all too well what it’s like to feel pressure during the holidays.

11. Do you need help with that?

This can be 1) a genuine concern, 2) a means to escape small talk, or 3) another way of telling you that you're doing something wrong, and ruining the holidays for everybody. All jokes aside, some Introverted personalities have a tendency to give unsolicited advice, micromanage, or both. In fact, Introvert or not, we’re all a bit guilty of this. Many of us have a feeling that there’s only one way to celebrate the ‘perfect’ Christmas. Perhaps, instead of trying to control, we should all be tuning on what is good for us.

12. I’ll be going to bed early

Your Introvert might say this out-loud on New Year’s Eve, or just think about it, and disappear. I love Christmas, but I can’t say the same about New Year’s. Mostly because the typical way of celebrating it is not exactly introvert-friendly. Dressing up, getting drunk, and partying hard until the early hours of the morning? No, thanks. I'm more than happy to skip the party and spend the night in my pajamas.

Happy introverted holidays!

Did we forget something Introverts say during the holidays? Let us know what it is in the comments.

Andreia Esteves
Andreia is an INFJ who used to think she was the only person in the world terrified of answering the phone. She works as a freelance writer covering all things mental health, and psychology related. When not writing, you’ll find her cozying up with a book, or baking vegan treats. Find her at: