INFJ

Haha! :) It's nice to know that my input on this matter may have helped you out in some way.

At some point I thought that I was crazy for thinking this way as well. Society will criticize anyone that deviates from the standards, but even those who consider themselves to be in the "standard" group, have their share of headaches as well.

I don't really care what others may think of me because, in the end, I'm the one in control of my own life, and that's how it should be. Don't let others control your feelings, just stay true to yourself and don't make any rash decisions when it comes to love. You may get hurt pretty bad in the process. It happened to me before and it was tough to get through it...

You hit the nail right on the head for me. I to do not have a problem falling in love but I do have a difficult time connecting to the "right" people. I usually fall in love with a person that doesn't really get me but loves me and tries hard to understand. I love him so much so I end up doing way too much and feel slightly resentful when the same effort isn't returned. I see certain things in him that he doesn't and most times I end up right in the end which astonishes him at times. I do not have issues getting friends but I to do have a difficult time staying close to most over time. I can see how this is the the most rare personality type. Reading these comments really gave me a warm comfort inside. I wonder if there are in person meetings for this?? That would be pretty cool. 

That is true. I will indeed feel when the time is right for love, and I will as well, involuntarily, make the time to be with the one I love. I was in that situation once, and believe me, I changed drastically during that time because I felt I had met the one woman that was meant for me. Turns out she wasn't, and looking back, I learned a lot from that experience; especially how you can be played by someone else when you dive deep into a one-sided relationship.

My defenses were pretty weak at the time, because of a depression that had settled in some time before that. I was desperately looking for some comfort; someone to lighten up the way for me, as the path I was walking in was dark and grim. She accidentally did that for me, and from a simple conversation, I began to like her. You know, it’s pretty easy to mistake an illusion for the one you want to be with— someone you picture in your head that doesn’t actually exist. I clung so hard to this illusion that even after discovering she was simply playing with me, I didn’t want to let go. It’s silly to even think this actually happened to me, especially after so many years and so many changes in my life…

To be honest, I haven’t completely discarded the possibility of falling in love again, but I won’t let myself be toyed with to this point ever again. Also, seeing that I’m not actively looking for a woman to share my life with right now, it will make the process even slower. If it happens, it happens, but I prefer my solitude and clear mindedness from all of the issues involved with a romance over anything else at the moment.

You see, I believe that we, the INFJ, are drawn to other people with the same mindset. So even if you get along with someone from another group, there will always be something that will bother you about that person. It can be something pretty insignificant but that feeling will nag you constantly, and you will eventually distance yourself. This happens a lot to me, especially when I see something about that person that isn’t quite right in my book. A group of people can be far worse in this respect, and these are always the first I usually jump out the fastest.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve embraced my solitude, and I hardly need a reason to move away from it. Also, sorry for answering like an year after or so… : (

You said it all here. I also don't trust other people that easily because at the slightest change that I don't like in their behavior, it's gonna leave a bad taste in my mouth that won't go away that easy. Even if it is a small thing. I am honest and I hate people who lie all the time, especially when they do it in their own benefit. But I do understand an occasional lie if it doesn't affect others negatively. And to be honest I don't like doing that myself, I feel terrible when I have to do it, as it goes against everything I am.

True, I too treat others with respect all the time, unless of course someone crosses the line-- when that happens, I don't lower myself to their level but I do say everything I have to say, whether if said person likes it or not. It's tough to follow our dreams nowadays with all the barriers we have living in a society. I can only hope that you find the perfect job for you, I certainly am not so lucky to have found the one for me, but there should be places well worse than that I suppose. Just have some faith and keep fighting to achieve your dreams! ;)

I don't have all that many people that I can say without a doubt that are my friends, real friends. Those are pretty hard to come by, but when you meet one, it's usually for life. The word "friend" or "friendship" is usually thrown without much thought given to it nowadays, but having a real friendship with someone else, involves way more effort than a single message on social media like many were made to believe. In our case, I believe it's somewhat harder to make friends because we're loners by nature, so we don't fit in all that well in modern society to begin with...

This doesn't really bother me though, as I've learned not to depend on other people many years; it usually only leads to disappointment in the end...

If you're comfortable and not down in the feels. You are where you should be. :)

My regards Timberwood, I’ll address a few of your points here.

“I don't know if its just me or do you guys feel like INFJs were born in the wrong time period? Like someone set us here during this age and left us with an inate need to change the world?”

In all honesty, even if we were born in a different time period, the world would still have a need for change. The world isn’t fair, it never was. You wouldn’t find children starving to death and there wouldn’t be wars killing millions if that was the case. The question here is: what can we do with the limited time we have in this earth to make the world a better place?

I don’t have a loud enough voice to make a significant difference to the world, but, even being just another unknown guy out there, I can always try and make a difference to the people around me. This is our purpose as INFJs— help those around us who are going through a bad time in their lives. It’s not only our purpose, but also something embedded into our very core as human beings— something just as important and natural as breathing.

“ …being able to know the emotion of a room full of people the second you walk through a door. Or being able to basically absorb another person's emotions even if they are complete strangers.”

I do relate to this. Given enough time you can almost read what that person is thinking, or predict a reaction to a specific situation. It’s also not very difficult to know when someone is lying through their teeth.

We are for the most part observers; we study people behavior in a myriad of situations, so that when the time comes, we know how to act accordingly. I personally am guilty to this. I often overexert in this aspect, searching for something special that sparks my curiosity. But this only happens whenever I find someone interesting enough to do so, otherwise I’ll lose my interest very quickly.

“…for the most part, am pretty popular even though I dont want to be, Im not aiming to be, and as a matter of fact I detest popularity.”

It’s easy for us to get the trust of other people rather quickly, and more often than not, they’ll feel enough confidence to reveal more about them that they don’t often talk about openly. I would argue that we’re not just good listeners, but also good advisers. How often does another person come to you and simply talk about their life? They know that you’re able help them out whenever something comes up in their life, and even if you can’t, the conversation itself will feel interesting enough to them— thought-provoking at the bare minimum.

Those interactions will make you popular, even if you don’t want that kind of attention. I certainly have many, many people that do trust me and my insight, and will often talk to me whenever they need some advice. Now, do I seek that kind of attention to feed my ego? No I don’t, and I would hate myself if I ever fall that low in life. I guess that’s just the nature of the beast; if you’re a good person and demonstrate your values to others, people will enjoy being around you. It’s a good thing in my perspective, but it can become overwhelming at times.

“Even though I have I tons of friends, not a single soul actually understands me. I don't have an actual best friend even though I want one but at the same I dont.”

It’s only natural, many people don’t want to accept different points of view in regards to how you should behave in modern society— you either join them in mediocrity, or you’ll be seen as an outcast. Only a few people understand my motives, or at the very least, accept my nature. The rest? I’m most likely a mystery to them. Not that I actually care about it, though.

Real friends are hard to come by, and the more you look for one, the harder they seem to find. I believe that friendship is something that happens naturally, just like falling in love with someone. If you try to force it though, in an attempt to feel less lonely or something of the sort, showing clear signs that you’re in need of some comfort, it may lead to the other person abusing that weakness of yours for selfish reasons. It can be quite dangerous and traumatic if you’re not prepared for a situation like this.

Friendship often involves a complex balance between your common interests and how committed you actually are to interact with the other person— if said person isn’t really all that interesting to talk to, despite having a common interest with you, you’ll most likely lose your interest. Same thing goes to when you find someone interesting, but you have nothing in common with him/her, and a boulder of ice will take form between the two of you.

My advice is pretty simple, just be true to yourself and always behave the way you usually do. When you less expect it, someone will befriend you and will stick around for years and years to come.

“You ever feel like your idea of an relationship is vastly different than everyone else's?”

I believe this is one of the main reasons people have a hard time understanding who we truly are. Love and devotion walk side by side to me, and without either of them, the relationship devolves simply into passion— a simple carnal desire.

A simple look, a simple touch from your loved one should be more than enough to pick you up from the ground on a bad moment of your life. The usage of words shouldn’t be required to deliver a message— you’ll know exactly how your loved one feels when you’re together. Sexual intercourse would feel like (as you’ve said) the merging of your very souls into a single one, something that not many people would know the meaning of. Everything should be built around the utmost truth, where no doubt remains between the two.

Tell me now, how many people see a relationship in this manner, other than in a poetic or simply fictional way? How many people believe something like this is even possible?

Well… I vehemently believe this is what true love actually means. I also believe it is possible to achieve such a high level of affinity towards your loved one, despite being a long road that many fail to traverse.

“You ever feel a connection in every physical environment? Like the city and the woods feel like home to you.”

Yes, especially if I’m the only one around in that place. The sound of crashing waves in the ocean feels almost like therapy to me. The absolute silence under a starry sky fills me with thoughts; carrying me to very distant places as I sit quietly appreciating its immense beauty.

It’s hard to explain exactly what it is, but moments like these give me a sense of peace. I feel revitalized whenever I have the time to spend with nature like this. Maybe it stimulates some primal sense that is kept dormant for the most part of my busy, busy life? I don’t know… it’s a really interesting thing though.

“You ever feel like you might be more than one type of personality.”

Sometimes, but at my very core I stand as an INFJ. I can pretend I’m someone else for the most part of my day, but when something comes in direct conflict with my inner values, I have a hard time partaking in it.

It’s hard to fight against your own nature, and if you do, you’ll feel terrible about it.

“You ever think that the Multiverse Theory is true?”

I could ramble about this topic all day long, but since this message is long enough as is, I’ll keep my answer short.

To a degree yes, I believe this is pretty much possible. However, whatever balance we have in our universe, could be pretty much turned upside down if we ever find a way to fiddle with reality itself. Have you imagined one day getting home, and as soon as you open your front door, you find a perfect copy of you walking around the house? How crazy and scary would that be?

There’s plenty more I could discuss about this, but I’ll leave it at that.

Now, something that I didn’t expect when I first commented in this website, was the amazing reception my comments are taking from you people who relate to the crazy things I say here. I feel flattered beyond belief, you people are amazing! Thanks to all of you!! :)