INFJ

I find that as an INFJ working for lawyers, it is terribly difficult.  Lawyers, by profession, are bullies. This has been my experience. As I work for a legal charity, thank goodness i was the one who did initial intake b/c clients are vulnerable. Afterward, i did follow-up with clients & assisted them in understanding the legal advice & options, in layman terms. 

Some of the opinion resonated with me. Much of my childhood was hell, knowing I was painfully shy, had practically no friends. I still have those traits. School was hard, not the academic part, but the process of little things like, having friends to share lunch hour with, ending up hungry because it was humiliating to eat alone, no one choosing me to partner up in projects, or at a picnic out. Was I weird? Was I ugly, did I have bad odour, was I abrasive? I look back once in a while, trying to narrow it down to something I could fix. There wasn't one. I was a loner ever since I could remember. Wishing to desperately belong made me anxious, always afraid I would get picked to be in any kind of limelight. Yet, I did well, remained within top 6 of class mostly. Can't fathom the reasons, perhaps it was to do with a violent father at home, though I was not targeted, perhaps the fact I had no siblings, perhaps it was simply the way I was wired. In my forties now, I have learned to hide myself well. The world of adulthood affords one a veneer where one can choose to engage and avoid. And so the feeling of not belonging lingers. But life is so crappy that there's no time to pontificate thankfully. Lol. What joy would there be in not being afraid to embrace extroversion, boldly engage. I tell myself, no, I enjoy my introversion.  What need have I of people? What would it be like to be raucously loud? Have a good laugh with a stranger? Not have flitting butterflies most of the time? Hmm. Sometimes though, there is much peace to be had in aloneness. Hahaha the comment below of spammers to be fried and served on toast made me laugh.

 I've always known I was different and although making connections is very difficult as an INFJ, the hardest part is being so intuitive to things that others just don't see. You can try to explain how you just know things, but if people don't see it then they just don't. I have luckily found a best friend who understands me in a way I am truly grateful for and when I have these insights to things she's learned to trust me, even if she can't see it herself. Sad, but not surprising that INFJs have the highest rate of dissatisfaction in marriage

One more thing: Carl Jung's research (the research upon which MBTIs are based) was done by observing others, while the MBTI test results are based largely on how one sees oneself. A person's test results can be wrong and unreliable for this exact reason.  For one, we see ourselves through rose-colored glasses; that is, we always see ourselves as better than we actually are or different than we actually are, and that bias alone can skew MBTI test results. If you are completely honest with yourself about how you behave the majority of the time, then your test results will be more accurate. When I first discovered I was an INFJ I was confused because I had always seen myself as a bubbly extrovert. Yes, I had very intense periods of introversion when I felt mentally exhausted from socialization, but I had always genuinely loved people so I always thought I was an extrovert. (Side note: INFJs can sometimes be mistaken for extroverts, and other Fe types can also sometimes be confused for INFJs.) But like I said, how we see ourselves is different from how we actually are. When I took my MBTI test, I had never heard of MBTIs, and I had no motivation to take it other than I and to learn; so I was completely honest in my answers, because in true INFJ fashion I couldn't stand to get an inauthentic result. I ended up with an INFJ result and that was 15 years ago, which leads me to my next last comment:

Our perception of ourselves changes over time as we become more honest with ourselves (or for some, more deluded) about who we are. It is for this reason that I re-take the MBTI test every year. My advice for getting the most accurate test result would be to answer the questions honestly as to how you have behaved the majority of your life, not how you see yyor best/your highest self or how you wish you could be. 

Much love xoxo

In 2005 I discovered I am an INFJ. In 2009, I discovered the love of my life is an INTJ. He and I are no longer together, but in every way I can say that he is the only one who truly understood me, or at least understood me more than anyone else ever could. We had our share of misunderstandings, to be sure, but out of all of the relationships and friendships I've had in my life, he was the one who had more understanding of me than anyone else. He was studying MBTIs long before they became trendy, which is probably why he understood me so well. I regret we are not together anymore, I truly believe he is my soul mate; but life isn't perfect and sometimes things don't work out no matter how much you want them to.

I am remarried now, to an ISFP. He's a great guy, but there really isn't much depth to him as far as what an INFJ considers deep. We don't talk about much beyond the superficial because with him there is no "beyond" to talk about. His mind stays on his job, period. Our marriage isn't unhappy by any means, I just wish I could have deeper, more meaningful conversations and experiences with him.

One thing I will say, though, is that INFJs don't typically try to fit in. Trying to fit in is against our very nature. So if you find yourself trying to fit in and follow others, you may need to re-take your MBTI test. INFJs hate inauthenticity and phonies. We forge our own paths and we refuse to follow others if it is not authentic to who we are. I am my fully authentic self at all times and always have been. Yes, that means I have never fit in, but who ever does? The key difference between INFJs and other types is that we enjoy not fitting in. We embrace our otherness as a way to advocate for others who feel the same.

I have been studying MBTIs since 2005, so for what it's worth, please keep in mind that no one is just one singular type. We all possess different degrees of each and every type. My dominant type is INFJ, but even introverts have extroverted aspects to their personalities. This article claims to go "in-depth" and yet it does not even touch on the individual aspects of the type, like the Se, for example. So this article by sheer definition is not in-depth, and the author of this article has lied by falsely claiming so.

My point: do your research. Do 15 years' worth of research and then you'll see this article is in no way in-depth. I recently read another INFJ article that claims that Taylor Swift is an INFJ, which couldn't be more untrue. Just be wary of all the BS articles out there. Some of them claim that INFJs are "easily hurt", which again, couldn't be more untrue. I am my fully authentic self at all times regarding my general personality, but just like every other INFJ, I don't share my deepest most intimate feelings and thoughts with everyone, only a select few.  The idea we are easily hurt would imply a level of intimacy with others that we simply don't have because we are so selective with whom we share our minds. It is this type of erroneous information that misleads others to have a skewed understanding of INFJs. Just be cautious.

Much love xoxo

I hate that I got INFJ-T as a result. For the past 3 years I felt I needed a career change after working in the legal field as a paralegal for 3 years in California. I hated the repetitive monotonous work I did, especially the attorneys I was surrounded with. Nothing ever changed, and the only thing I liked or preffered was the budget development work, because I like seeing how thing grow and change, and pick out patterns that I can anlyze and point out to my boss - in this case, what services or tasks needed more or less emphasis. So I don't know how to interpret a test result that says I could be good working as an advocate for others....I Reeeeeally don't care what others think or do or say, and their status in society-- or their perceived damages or worries--- have absolutely no relevance or bearing in the grand scheme of things. 

I guess the test was enlightening in understanding that I am introverted, that I am heavily intuitive, that I tend to "judge" people, (or, I rather cut through the B.S and say things for what they are); and that I do definitely want to meet people and share rich life-changing experiences. One thing I want to do is travel around the world and learn new cultures. California, and the whole U.S.A for that matter, is only a glimpse of what life can truly be. Places like Southeast Asia, Australia, Europe, or Africa would seem like places that nurture the soul and make you connect with the world around you.

I hope that if you are still reading this you know that your passions and interests override anything and everyone surrounding you. I also think that happiness is relative to your existence, and that all the things people attach themselves towards--like race, religion, culture, education, career, job security--are an absolutle waste of time. You are your own best version of yourself. Make it happen, or at least try it. Don't settle for what others think is the easy way out, or the expected route. Make this life worth living and live in the moment. CARPE DIEM Cheers everyone!

Hey, i saw most of your posts and found they were pretty interesting..
If anyone wants to connect, you're welcome here.
Lemme know.
PS: Hope all of you are happy and in peace right now:)

Maybe, INFJ is one of the complex character i ever met in the world. No one, i meet, have the closest thoughts as mine. And i have more interest around mental health and already counseling and diagnosed with adjustment disorder. Sometimes, my mind speak too much, as i havent speak about it and insomnia is my best friends. And i sometimes hate conflicts too, as they mentioned above, everytime me and my bf, repeat the same mistakes, i really hate for that. Keeping the peace, yoga and meditating in my own world is also my personal favorite. Oh, i forgot perfume and flowers. I love and enjoy seeing and smelling something beautiful. 

You know the feeling when you know that you can never be real with anyone in your life? Well, that's how I've been most of my life. Ever since I was a kid I always got that feeling that no one really ever understood me and I didn't know why. I got to high school and I hated myself for never actually fitting in, to the point that I felt like I was better off not alive. It seemed like I was always a third wheel even with my childhood friends. I didn't know what to do so I ended up shutting everyone out. I looked for reasons why I was always like that till I found this website on personality types. I accepted who I am but now it feels like the old wounds are opening up again. I tried to reconnect with some of my old friends but I still feel like no matter how hard I try or how much I try to change I'll never feel like I belong. It usually seems odd for a guy to feel this type of stuff but I guess this may be the only place I can just say what's on my mind without having to wonder what others will think.

Not that it's even important personally. But as an INFJ male and having obligations to earn and make the big bucks for a larger cause, it really sucks to know that we generally earn less because of our darn personalities.

Not having self hate, but I guess I just gotta grind and do better

So I finally found where I belong to...Totally same story!!and I got to read about the dark sides of INFJ’s personality too ...I was surprised to know about the Zodiac signs too,at least it’s cool knowing I’m not all that weird...I’m still normal!!

Really confused by these tests. I had to take the test after having had a Burn-out and looking for another job (I really don't want to go that deep anymore in my entire life). The result was Intj but even though I recognise myself in great parts the part saying I am not tactful and often hurt people with my straight forwardness set me to tears for days. I couldn't sleep at night. Doesn't feel right. The test only asked how you behave at your workplace but is it possible you can teach yourself to act a certain way in order to protect yourself? I am not afraid to speak my mind in meetings and I do get an impatient feeling when meetings take hours without ever reaching a conclusion. But when I speak my mind in a rational way it is only because I learned the hard way that if you don't want people to walk all over you in a highly competitive (male dominated) field (as women are underrepresented in managent functions) you have to speak up and sound as logical as possible so they would not see your true feelings (because showing emotions would come over as weakness). I always focussed on the content and tried to reach a consensus' although I could be very firm when I saw people would get hurt by the decisions others are about to make or when a decision was really contradictory to my personal values. No wonder I ended up with a burn out, faking all the time to be someone I was not. Unfortunately my job coach relies only on the result of the test and is trying to push me into the field of pure logic where I feel I will end up being completely miserable again. 

Hi,I am a fellow INFJ.I have recently discovered that.Before I knew that I am actually an INFJ I used to feel like the only weird human out there.Like I talk to myself all the time in my head and play out scenerios and incidents (even rn I am talking to myself if I should write this or not lol).This is so serious sometimes that I even considered seeing a psychologist to check if I am crazy.Sometimes I overthink and over analyse a situation and I have some crazy intuitions (mostly bad intuition)....I am clearly an  introvert and I know it but sometimes I behave like extrovert when I am with my extrovert friends....I always felt like an outcast even when I am chatting in a group of friends like I am happily chatting with them but this "happy" seems fake to myself.

Only now I know that I am not weird but I am actually INFJ..And I am sooo happy to know that I am not weird that I can't....express it in words ㅠ.ㅠ 

Why are the careers for INFJ so few compared to other types? People as diverse as MLK to Marie Kondo to Lady Gaga are said to be this personality type. Really frustrated w this list. 

Hello,

I took this test and I got INF with a 50/50 split between P & J. Its really interesting looking at the similarities and differences between the comments sections for those types, as well as the pages themselves. I relate to both to an extent. Did anyone else find themselves between types or identify with more than one type?