INFJ

If I were to settle for someone just to make these people who don't understand who I am happy, I would just be lying to myself, and especially to the other person. But in the end, I don't want to do that, mostly because I know that I wouldn't be able to give my everything to her since my life has been revolving around work and some other things. I don't really need or want to divert my attention from it. Especially knowing that having someone in your life takes a lot of your time and attention towards your partner.

To be honest, I prefer having a really good friend; someone you can talk to on a daily basis about things that are happening with your life and the sort, rather than someone to share my bed with. It's as simple as that, but throughout my life there has always been those who think that I'm just too afraid to approach a woman and "get laid" because that seems to be the epiphany of what it means to be a man for some reason. Even if in the end, that act would feel empty to me. But this is the society we live in so what can I do other than making my point clear to those who think they are better than me just because they are married or with someone? I used to avoid even talking to these people, but right now, I even laugh in their face for their stupidity and narrow-mindedness.

Throughout my life I met vastly different people and I usually like to play a little game of "test your personality and values", usually on a complete innocent conversation not to make it too obvious to them. From what I've seen and heard, their definition of right or wrong can differ vastly from my own on many, many levels. Some believe that stealing is wrong, but they can't resist the urge to do it despite knowing it's wrong. Same goes to other situations like, cheating on your partner, lying, hurting others emotionally or physically, the list goes on...

When I see such situations, I can't bring myself to just accept what's going on in front of my eyes because "it's how it's supposed to be". I've seen so much injustice in my life that I really don't care if I get in trouble by expressing myself about it. Some people are worse than monsters, and I like to let them know about it.

If we want to make a difference, we have to start with the people that surrounds us every single day like family, schoolmates or workmates. I'm a loner at heart and I do need to be one because that's who I am, but being part of the human society, makes us deal with other people even if we don't want to. Some will respect you and help you out of the goodness of their heart, while others will simply try to take advantage of you especially if your will is weak to try and defend yourself. But as long as I live, I won't allow injustices like this to happen without fighting them to the best of my abilities. It may seem like I'm a contentious person, but it couldn't be further from the truth because I don't like arguments, but sometimes we just have to act, rather than just being a spectator in something that makes you sick in the stomach.

Thanks! :) It only goes to show that people with our same mindset do exist. I felt lost and alone throughout my life thinking that I was the only one thinking this way, now I don't feel so alone anymore. :)

In essence, our family and friends simply cannot see who we truly are. It's the same as trying to teach a child to read; most concepts about the language can't be taught in a single class, it needs to be a slow process to burn this knowledge into their minds. But there are those who simply don't care about learning and prefer to dismiss it right away as "it's too hard, I can't understand it". So, there are people who do at least try to slowly understand you and respect your thoughts, even if they don't agree with them, and there are those who simply don't understand the basic concept that we are all different and want to pull you into their mindset almost by force, dismissing everything you say as rubbish.

You simply can't win against these people, even if you try to explain yourself to them (not that you need to or should do that though). They may agree with you at some point, but in the next day, it all goes back to square one and the bullying or the lecture in "how to be a man" or "how to behave as a man" starts all over again. It's truly not worth it to try and convince others that you're different, it simply won't flow. In time, people grow accustomed with the idea of having us around, not that it will stop them from giving you the occasional lecture but hey, it's a start at least.

Sure why not? It's always important and fun to talk to other people, we may even be able to help each other out in understanding ourselves better. :)

Most people won't understand who we are because their perceptions and values often don't allow them to see further than what they feel it's right for them-- hence why we have so much difficulty fitting in. Those who call you a friend, don't often know the true meaning of the word; what it asks out of them. Most will cower in fear, and even join the bullies, when their "friend" is being harassed for his/her true nature.

I hardly have any friends, but honestly, I wouldn't trade a good friend of mine for a group of people that at the end of the day will shun and harass you when your usefulness expires. This has happened to me in the past and because of that I stopped depending on other people and trusting them the way I used to, as it hurts way more when someone you trust and respect treats you like garbage...

I feel in your case even though your values are different than others, you've got to accept the difference in values and contradictions. If you want a friend(s) this is one of many ways to find friendship. You can try to argue your values and even though you don't get your point through, at least you were able find a outlet for your ideals/emotions. If by coincidence, anyone who did listen, will peek a interest and try to start a form of relationship. If you feel like you don't have confidence to do so like argue a point across, there is a practice I learned about gaining self confidence. You pretend and see yourself as a confident person. A projection of the self. Surely, it'll be really weird at first because you're lying to yourself. However, if practiced for a while, being confident becomes second nature and you'll forget pretending to be confident and actually be confident. You are in junior high, take a few or heck many risks. Just remember to make positive change around you and yourself. Change isn't initiated without the thought to want/need. Then action, and lastly an reflection of yourself. 

It usually happens, especially after your usefulness to them expires. It happened to me as well more than once. It's easy to approach someone and beg for help, but once you don't need that person anymore, most will simply move on and forget about the one who helped them.

My philosophy when it comes to helping others is "If you need something to eat because you can't pay for your meal, or, if you need something to wear because you don't have the money for new clothes, I'll help you to the best of my possibilities. Just don't ask me for money." Lending money is a mistake, I've learned that from many bad experiences. But I'm always willing to help in any other way I can. I don't expect anything in return as well; if said person doesn't want to stick around afterwards, that's fine to me. If I'm able to help them, I'm happy for it. : )

I'm willing to say that the "counselor" part doesn't always imply for you to take action and get involved directly with the situation. We are perfectly capable of helping someone simply by giving our insight about the situation; that's probably our best trait, and it involves nothing more than words.