INFJ

If I were to settle for someone just to make these people who don't understand who I am happy, I would just be lying to myself, and especially to the other person. But in the end, I don't want to do that, mostly because I know that I wouldn't be able to give my everything to her since my life has been revolving around work and some other things. I don't really need or want to divert my attention from it. Especially knowing that having someone in your life takes a lot of your time and attention towards your partner.

To be honest, I prefer having a really good friend; someone you can talk to on a daily basis about things that are happening with your life and the sort, rather than someone to share my bed with. It's as simple as that, but throughout my life there has always been those who think that I'm just too afraid to approach a woman and "get laid" because that seems to be the epiphany of what it means to be a man for some reason. Even if in the end, that act would feel empty to me. But this is the society we live in so what can I do other than making my point clear to those who think they are better than me just because they are married or with someone? I used to avoid even talking to these people, but right now, I even laugh in their face for their stupidity and narrow-mindedness.

Throughout my life I met vastly different people and I usually like to play a little game of "test your personality and values", usually on a complete innocent conversation not to make it too obvious to them. From what I've seen and heard, their definition of right or wrong can differ vastly from my own on many, many levels. Some believe that stealing is wrong, but they can't resist the urge to do it despite knowing it's wrong. Same goes to other situations like, cheating on your partner, lying, hurting others emotionally or physically, the list goes on...

When I see such situations, I can't bring myself to just accept what's going on in front of my eyes because "it's how it's supposed to be". I've seen so much injustice in my life that I really don't care if I get in trouble by expressing myself about it. Some people are worse than monsters, and I like to let them know about it.

If we want to make a difference, we have to start with the people that surrounds us every single day like family, schoolmates or workmates. I'm a loner at heart and I do need to be one because that's who I am, but being part of the human society, makes us deal with other people even if we don't want to. Some will respect you and help you out of the goodness of their heart, while others will simply try to take advantage of you especially if your will is weak to try and defend yourself. But as long as I live, I won't allow injustices like this to happen without fighting them to the best of my abilities. It may seem like I'm a contentious person, but it couldn't be further from the truth because I don't like arguments, but sometimes we just have to act, rather than just being a spectator in something that makes you sick in the stomach.

Thanks! :) It only goes to show that people with our same mindset do exist. I felt lost and alone throughout my life thinking that I was the only one thinking this way, now I don't feel so alone anymore. :)

In essence, our family and friends simply cannot see who we truly are. It's the same as trying to teach a child to read; most concepts about the language can't be taught in a single class, it needs to be a slow process to burn this knowledge into their minds. But there are those who simply don't care about learning and prefer to dismiss it right away as "it's too hard, I can't understand it". So, there are people who do at least try to slowly understand you and respect your thoughts, even if they don't agree with them, and there are those who simply don't understand the basic concept that we are all different and want to pull you into their mindset almost by force, dismissing everything you say as rubbish.

You simply can't win against these people, even if you try to explain yourself to them (not that you need to or should do that though). They may agree with you at some point, but in the next day, it all goes back to square one and the bullying or the lecture in "how to be a man" or "how to behave as a man" starts all over again. It's truly not worth it to try and convince others that you're different, it simply won't flow. In time, people grow accustomed with the idea of having us around, not that it will stop them from giving you the occasional lecture but hey, it's a start at least.

Sure why not? It's always important and fun to talk to other people, we may even be able to help each other out in understanding ourselves better. :)

Most people won't understand who we are because their perceptions and values often don't allow them to see further than what they feel it's right for them-- hence why we have so much difficulty fitting in. Those who call you a friend, don't often know the true meaning of the word; what it asks out of them. Most will cower in fear, and even join the bullies, when their "friend" is being harassed for his/her true nature.

I hardly have any friends, but honestly, I wouldn't trade a good friend of mine for a group of people that at the end of the day will shun and harass you when your usefulness expires. This has happened to me in the past and because of that I stopped depending on other people and trusting them the way I used to, as it hurts way more when someone you trust and respect treats you like garbage...

Oh, beautifully said. Thank you for sharing about the pain we carry. Yes! That has been my experience as well. I feel life so acutely. The highs are higher and lows are deeper. There's a beauty in that emotional range and depth, but it is also filled with isolation and pain too. Would I change this about me if I could? No!! I love seeing life the way that I do, however it is also a burden. Thank you for validating my internal perspective.

I found the discussion about preferring to be alone versus disappointed by others interesting. I was married for over thirty years before my husband passed away last year. I have to say that despite the marriage being less than ideal, sharing my life was very satisfying and preferable to being constantly alone. I have met someone recently who is more similar in personality and it has been an amazing experience. It is making a world of difference to be in an intimate relationship with a person who is more compatible. So I'm encouraging those of you to not throw away your wishes for that kind of interpersonal intimacy. It's possible and very worth it.

Wow. I never thought there were people like me. I'm only 12 and this is all so new to me. I try again and again to make people understand who I truly am, but it doesn't work. I've realised that you shouldn't live to please people because there's always gonna be that one person that you're gonna miss out. Helping people realise their potential, realise who they are is all I want to do and to do that obstacles must be waded through, pushed aside, gotten rid of. But not taken to heart. Sometimes, I wish I could fly, soar in the sky and leave all the worries and worldly matters behind. But then my heart takes me back to the people I love and care for and then the next day, it's the same thing again when you realise that people just won't understand.

I hope I never change. I want to live my life helping people, I really do. I feel horrid when I get envious of others because that's not who I am. There comes a time when you realise that you have what you have and to give is the best way for me to feel like I've been given something great. Somebody can give me the greatest thing in the world but to pay it forward would make me feel better than to receive it. I want to live my life changing the world. I have dreams, huge dreams. Like ending wars, inventing wings, crazy things. And I hold onto the, because I know they'll get me forward. It warms my heart to know that there are people out there who understand me and I hope they stay that way. For me, the thing that keeps me going is: to give is to receive. Thanks for being there and supporting all those in need.

P.S:- I love cats too. A cabin in the mountains with just me and nobody coming around calling me a crazy cat lady is sometimes all I wish for.

Thank you so much for clarifying not only the depth in the pain we carry, but also the truth for the good in it. I am a highly sensitive INFJ and very empathetic. I know that these are not values that are store bought, but that are driven deeply at the cost of my superficial existence that I am learning to separate from daily. By the way, I just learned that the INFJ has a shadow self that mirrors a superficial reflection of a ESTP and the purpose is to prevent us from discovering and accepting our authentic selves. We must break away from this and re-discover the freedom and beauty in being, just as we are.