The Counselor
The INFJ personality type is Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, and Judging, which means they are energized by time alone, focused on understanding ideas and concepts, led by their values and intuition, and firm decision makers. This combination of personality preferences produces people who are intensely idealistic, authentic, and empathetic. Although INFJs do not tend to have a large circle of people they are close to, they value deep connections and emotional intimacy with their close friends and family. INFJs believe the world can be a better place, and they concentrate on doing their best to help it get there.

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the INFJ’s values, interests, and general approach to life. They won’t necessarily agree on everything, and there’s no guarantee they’ll always get along, but they’re more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the INFJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The INFJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between INFJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

INFJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they’ll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the INFJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the INFJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the INFJ’s, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the INFJ’s weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

INFJs in Love

In relationships, the INFJ is supportive and guided by a sense of integrity. The INFJ's interest in human development applies to their mates as well, and they are encouraging of their partner's dreams, aspirations, and achievements.

INFJs want to maintain harmony in their relationships and are highly motivated to resolve conflicts. They tend to be creative problem-solvers and look for the emotional core of an issue to create a meeting of the minds. Although they desire cooperation, they are not willing to go along with an idea that does not feel authentic to them. When it comes to their core values and ethics, they are unwilling to compromise.

INFJs want a high degree of intimacy and emotional engagement, and are happiest when they feel they are sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings with their mates. Once they are comfortable in a relationship, INFJs love to shower their partner with affection and display a more lighthearted and silly side of their personality. True vulnerability may be challenging at first, so INFJs need partners who can be patient until trust is built in the relationship.

The feelings of those closest to them, including romantic partners, are like an open book to INFJs and they tend to assume that others can see into their hearts just as easily. Unfortunately, the partners of INFJs don’t always share this empathy, which can sometimes cause misunderstandings and hard feelings, especially in the early stages of a relationship.

Ultimately, INFJs value a partner who respects their values and emotions, appreciates their creativity and inspiration, and is willing to commit to continued growth within the relationship.

INFJs as Friends

INFJs are loyal, compassionate friends who want the best for the people they care about and are willing to help them reach their true potential. For INFJs, the value of relationships is measured by their depth, not their breadth. A full address book or hundreds of followers on social media might seem like indicators of a satisfying social life to some, but an INFJs social circle is usually much smaller—and that is exactly the way they like it.

INFJs are idealists, and they are always on the lookout for others who perceive the world in a similar way. They tend to gravitate toward people who share similar values and worldviews, and who are trustworthy and understand the INFJ without them having to overexplain themselves. Because of their introverted natures, INFJs are usually reluctant to make the first move, which is why they may gravitate toward more extraverted types who share their interests and are more willing to take the initiative in social relations.

As introverts, they may struggle to frequently keep in touch or plan get-togethers, but they are extremely loyal friends who enthusiastically support the hopes and dreams of their loved ones. Most INFJs gain great satisfaction from the accomplishments of friends and family, and it pleases them to no end when people they care about turn to them for guidance and inspiration.

INFJs as Parents

INFJs are attentive, devoted and loving parents. They tend to form strong bonds with their children and are very closely tuned in to their emotional states. Counselor parents naturally see the possibilities in their children and encourage them to develop their potential.

Although they support their children in their individual interests, INFJ parents can be firm disciplinarians when it comes to moral or ethical concerns. They are concerned with their children's emotional health and spiritual development, and want to create a nurturing atmosphere that promotes growth and well-being.

INFJ parents encourage their children to be active in life and they try to be as present as possible to support their kids in events and milestones, big or small. Even if they feel disappointed in their childrens’ actions, they rarely resort to harsh criticism or condemnation. Regardless of the circumstances, INFJ parents strive to treat their sons and daughters with compassion and respect, continuing to offer love and support through good times and bad.

INFJ Communication Style

INFJs are reserved about communication, and often keep their most treasured ideas and insights private. As introverts, they are not eager to speak in front of large crowds. But in one-on-one encounters or in small groups, the motivational abilities of INFJs really shine through. INFJs don’t just believe that a positive approach to life will pay off, they know it, and their capacity to effectively communicate that vision can energize an audience and open their listeners’ eyes to new pathways for self-improvement.

They are oriented to values and connection, and will search for meaning in the information they take in. They think deeply and often need time to process and evaluate before they are ready to share their ideas. They seek validation and will take the time to appreciate others and their ideas. They are often talented at making connections to bring people together and integrate ideas, values, and human potential.