Compatibility of INFJ with ENFJ in Relationships

Are INFJ and ENFJ personality types compatible? See how INFJs and ENFJs get along in this guide to INFJ/ENFJ relationships. If you're an INFJ in a relationship with an ENFJ, discover how you'll communicate, interact, and relate to each other in daily life.

How INFJ and ENFJ Get Along

INFJs and ENFJs have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. As an INFJ, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an ENFJ.

As an Intuitive Feeling type, you seek deep, meaningful connection in your relationships. You want to truly understand what drives the people you care about and help them to be their best selves. You are drawn to people who seem to be sensitive, thoughtful, and idealistic, and prefer relationships that help you to grow and develop.

When relating to your counterpart, bear in mind that as an Intuitive Feeling type, they will tend to be highly idealistic about their relationships. They want authentic connections that reflect their true values, and they want to see who you really are as a person. Intuitive Feelers want to go deep, and revealing yourself to them is a worthwhile endeavor—once they feel they know you, they'll be a tireless cheerleader for your dreams and ambitions.

This person likely has a higher energy level than you do, and you may find their enthusiasm overwhelming at times. You may find it important to set boundaries and let them know when you need space and quiet.

This relationship has great potential for a close and caring connection. You're likely to find many commonalities in how you think about things and approach your life. You both have a compassionate and idealistic nature, and even if you disagree on some things, you'll likely feel that when it comes to the important stuff, you're on the same page.

You share a dedication to your ideals and a commitment to helping others. Although you may follow different paths, fundamentally, your goals are the same: to make the world a better place. This shared ethic gives you the opportunity for a deep and lasting bond.

Conflict is unlikely between the two of you, because you are both inclined to imagine yourselves in the other person's shoes. When difficulties come up, you'll tend to approach them with compassion and empathy. You can often see another point of view, even if you don't agree with it, and you'll tend to try to accept your differences and get back to a harmonious equilibrium.

Communication Between INFJ and ENFJ

Communication can be a challenge between any two people, and communication between INFJ and ENFJ personality types is not the exception. By being aware of the issues that often arise when INFJs and ENFJs communicate, you can learn how to reach an understanding more quickly.

You and your counterpart share an abstract style of communication. Your conversations will tend to focus on your impressions, ideas, opinions, and theories. You may find yourselves discussing philosophy, the arts, the latest advances in science, or your ideas about how to make the world a better place.

You are likely to find one another interesting and stimulating to talk to. Neither of you is terribly interesting in recounting events in tedious detail or sharing dry facts without any context, and since both of you probably have the experience of getting stuck in such mundane exchanges with other people, talking to one another should be a refreshing break.

Although you share a similar general style of communicating, there is still potential for misunderstandings between the two of you. When working on projects together, you may find that you tend to discuss the overall goals, but neglect to hammer out the details. You are both inclined to talk more about the general idea, and less about the facts and practicalities. When working together to create a plan, make sure you attend to any details that need to be decided, and don't just assume you're on the same page.

When talking with this person, you may fall into the role of listener by default. Because they are more extraverted than you are, they'll tend to naturally speak more quickly and have more to say. You tend to be a bit more quiet and reserved, and are often more comfortable letting others have the floor. You may leave conversations with this person feeling like you actually didn't say much at all.

This can be a comfortable dynamic sometimes. Many introverts like having friends and associates who are dynamic and chatty and keep the conversation moving. Other times, it can be frustrating. Extraverts sometimes assume that because Introverts are a bit slower to get going, they have nothing to say. Your Extravert friends may chatter on, thinking that if they don't fill the silence, no one will. In fact, you might appreciate them slowing down a bit, asking more questions, and giving you the time and space to express yourself. You may not have a talk-show-host personality, but that doesn't mean you have nothing to share.

Consider the dynamic between the two of you and ask yourself if it works for you. Does your Extraverted counterpart make space for you to share your thoughts and feelings? Or do you feel like you're being steamrolled? If you never feel you get to express yourself with this person, it's time to let them know that your relationship needs some tweaking.

INFJ vs. ENFJ Values

Values are intensely personal, and while an INFJ and an ENFJ can find common ground, there will always be some differences in what you hold dear. However, understand how your INFJ approach to values compares with your ENFJ counterpart's will help you to appreciate and overcome your differences.

You are likely to feel a strong connection with this person based on your fundamental similarities in values. You are both idealistic, humanistic people with a deep concern for other people. Neither of you is content to simply accept the injustices and cruelties of the world around you; you feel things deeply, and want to make the world a better, gentler place.

You are both highly empathetic and probably make plenty time in your lives to help others. You may have jobs that allow you to be of service, in education, health care, social services, or the like. Or, you may spend time volunteering for causes that are important to you. However you manifest it, it's clear from your lives that your ideals are important, and you'll tend to have an easy understanding of this priority for one another.

Your idealism is a wonderful commonality, but it's also a potential fracture point. If you agree on the details of right and wrong, you may almost appear to be thinking with one mind. If you don't, you may find it difficult to "agree to disagree" as you are both so passionate about what you believe. Although you're very similar people, your relationship can actually be quite explosive if you come across an area in which you disagree about what is right. You both hold your values very dear, and you want the people close to you to understand where you are coming from. If the two of you can't agree on an idea that's close to your heart, you'll both find that extremely upsetting.

Conflict between the two of you is doubly difficult—both of you prize harmony in your relationships and so any disagreement is going to be torture for the both of you. Luckily, you have powers of empathy that many people can only dream of, and you both tend to be creative in coming up with solutions to personal problems. Deep down, you both want closeness and connection, and because you have so much in common, your relationship is likely extremely important to both of you. Let your desire to connect be your guide—and use your empathy superpowers—and you'll find your way back from any issues that may arise.

INFJ and ENFJ in Daily Life

Lifestyle is an under-appreciated—but extremely important—element of compatibility. Your values and ideals may coincide perfectly, but if you can't agree on how to conduct day-to-day matters, your relationship will always have friction. As an INFJ in a relationship with an ENFJ, you can expect certain issues to arise in your daily life. Discussing these in advance, and figuring out how to deal with them, will make things go much more smoothly as you develop your relationship.

The two of you are likely to share a general intellectual curiosity and interest in learning new things. Both of you tend to appreciate the value of culture, the sciences, and the arts, and while you may not share specific hobbies, you'll probably have interests that you can at least mutually appreciate.

For both of you, discovering new ideas is a lifelong pursuit. You'll probably share a mutual interest in reading, going to museums and cultural events, taking classes for fun, and other activities that allow you to learn and improve your minds. In fact, you may find that learning new things together is a great way to bring you closer.

You also share a low tolerance for the mundane. You both find day-to-day routine somewhat toxic, and you may find that your lives together involve frequent attempts to "shake things up." You may dream of traveling around the world together or quitting your jobs to start a new business. This mutual taste for adventure is stimulating for both of you, and helps keep things exciting between you. However, during the inevitable dull periods of your life together, it's likely that you'll both be a bit cranky. Bear in mind that keeping things novel and fresh is key to both of your happiness.

You take a similarly orderly approach to life and share an appreciation for schedules, to-do lists, and organizational systems. If you share space, it’s likely to be well organized and tidy. While you may sometimes disagree on exactly how to organize something, you both appreciate the process of creating structure, and will typically enjoy working together to get systems in place. 

Communicating your needs is crucial, as you both have a different tolerance for stimulation and social activities. You are energized by alone time and need regular periods of solitude to recharge your batteries. Your partner, by contrast, is energized by activity and probably makes plenty of room for friends, family, and social events. They won’t appreciate you refusing to socialize with them, leaving them alone and lonely, just as you won’t appreciate them overbooking the social calendar.

Communication is another challenge, since your partner prefers to deal with issues immediately while you may try to sweep problems under the rug. You need time to think something through before having an important conversation, and can feel backed into a corner if your partner gets all pushy and naggy. On the flip side, your partner knows how to speak their mind and defend their position, and it can be frustrating for them if they’re constantly having to drag a conversation out of you.

None of these differences is insurmountable and with a little compromise you can easily meet each other’s needs. Your partner’s job is to respect your need for solitude while encouraging you to attend events that are important to them. Compromise is a two-way street, and in return you must be fine with your partner going out and getting the social stimulation they need without resenting them for leaving you alone.