A group of professionals sit down at a table together.

Call me biased, but introverts rock. What’s not to love about people who are judiciously nonconforming, intriguingly mysterious, and have a passionate knowledge of esoteric subjects?

Who else would you hold a conversation with on the spice trade routes to Timbuktu or the nuances of ancient runes? If you ever want to chat about 1912 lady’s fashions, train robbery techniques, or learn how to make a manzanita letter opener (using bacon rind is better than bear grease), I am here for it.

If you identify as an introvert, you may not realize how terrific the personality trait can be or how to lean into your strengths and use them to full advantage. The key for introverts is conserving social energy and then using it strategically at choice moments to demonstrate quality relational skills and charming self-possession.

Introverts leverage their unique talents to captivate and connect with others. They smile knowingly when they opt out of small talk. They exit a room in a puff of smoke and leave people wanting more.

And you do want more, don’t you?

Without further ado, here are the ways introverts can be a tantalizing and satisfying class act.

1. Seek out the other class acts

Introverts will always be more interested in the quality of their friends than the quantity. Be selectively social and connect with the genuine and authentic people in the room instead of the flashy and fake, and you will impress by your discerning tastes. As keen observers, introverts can see people for who they really are beneath the surface. We don’t enjoy the company of anyone wearing a mask. The emperor is wearing no clothes and we will not pretend otherwise.

2. Include the other introverts in the room 

Introverts don’t like being the center of attention. They think before they speak, and jumping into an animated conversation is challenging. Introverts can appreciate that and inclusively create space and opportunity for others to share. It’s classy to make space for others to feel comfortable and included in the conversation.

3. Hold intellectually stimulating conversations 

Introverts have no patience with small talk or gossip. They prefer a more intimate conversation and take it deep instead of wide. When you ask someone how they are and they reply with, “fine,” do not accept it. Draw them out. Ask thoughtful questions. Challenge them to share honestly. You’ll be remembered as the person who truly listens, understands, and rewards others with stimulating feedback. 

4. Listen with attention and intention

Introverts have a way of making people feel heard and understood because they are superlative listeners. We don’t have to dominate or steer the conversation, but enjoy letting others say what needs to be said. Everyone has a story to tell, and we are truly interested enough to demand one. Listening is always a class act. 

5. Cherish your own company

Introverts spend regular time with themselves, finding peace and refilling their energy tank. There are so many ways to lean into this – attend concerts, learn crochet, hike mountains, foster puppies. Explore cities and exotic restaurants. Cultivate a talent or interest. All of your introverted activities, from reading to hang-gliding, feed your imagination, enrich your soul, and make you a fascinating and well-rounded class act.

6. Your self-awareness is off the charts; lean into it

An introvert’s inward-focused disposition grants profound awareness of who you are and how you operate. You know how to gauge your energy levels and anticipate how much will be needed in any social circumstance. You can pace yourself, plan for breaks, judge the environment in real time, and navigate your world with a very nuanced inner map. This maturity, self-possession, and wisdom will be noticed by others, who will admire you for it.

7. Share your insight

An introvert’s commitment to introspection generates a wealth of understanding and education. When others need guidance, you are able to help. From practical life choices to daydreams about the future, introverts are likely to have already thought them through and can recommend resources or offer ideas tailored to each particular interest. You’ll come across as smart, honest and caring, the very definition of a class act.

8. Provide the moments of calm in every storm

Introverts are the ones in the back, quietly going about what needs doing. If someone makes eye contact in the midst of chaos, you will likely create a personal moment between only the two of you. A wink and a smile. An offer to sit on the porch swing for a minute. A laugh over the absurd way everyone is rushing around. When you share your inner peace, you give someone else a boost. And that’s classy.

9. Solve the problem when no one is looking

Introverts love to deep dive into projects, use extreme focus when faced with a puzzle, and come up with surprising solutions to personal or global issues. Breakthroughs can land them in positions of leadership, which add layers of application to the puzzle. Introverts love to analyze and synthesize as they observe, connecting dots and weaving everything into a larger, meaningful landscape. You may do this quietly, but people will notice that you’re adding value with grace and efficiency. 

10. Loyalty makes you royalty

Lean into your people. Introverts will stand up for their people even when their people are wrong. When you make a friend, you make a friend for life, and only a base betrayal will sever the bond. You are the ultimate wing woman, the behind-the-scenes supporter, and the guy who laughs at every joke or claps first from the back row. You don’t let your people down.

11. Maintain your honorable respect for time, space and privacy

Introverts place a high value in these areas and would never consider intruding uninvited into someone else’s physical or private emotional space. But when we are tapped as confidants, we offer a rare sanctuary of safety. Trustworthy in vulnerable situations and extremely unlikely to gossip, introverts won’t pry, overstep or betray a secret. Very classy.

12. Rock those traditions

Many introverts love the cycles and trappings of traditions and enjoy sharing them with others. Whether it’s a family Sunday supper, a high school reunion, or the annual fishing trip at the lake, they entertain through reminiscing, celebrating and going through the rituals that bind their people together. Introverts can glam up for the New Year’s Eve ball drop, but all things being equal, would prefer a midnight pajama and Scrabble party. You are the keeper of common ties, and that’s classy.

13. Use witty, well-timed humor and clever turns of phrase 

Playfulness, especially if it’s unexpected, is captivating. Introverts use a wide vocabulary combined with deep observation skills to point out the quirks in daily life. A silly meme, movie quote, or a perfectly executed riff proves there’s nothing more refreshing than comedy relief. It’s a different type of classy, but it definitely counts. 

Jolie Tunnell
Jolie Tunnell is an author, freelance writer and blogger with a background in administration and education. Raising a Variety Pack of kids with her husband, she serves up hard-won wisdom with humor, compassion and insight. Jolie is an ISTJ and lives in San Diego, California where she writes historical mysteries. Visit her at jolietunnell.com