As an Intuitive Thinking type, you approach relationships a little differently than the average person. You have a lively mind and an appetite for ideas. More than any other type, you like to spend time with people who can keep up with you mentally and who expose you to new ideas and worldviews. Ultimately, what you are looking for in relationships is intellectual stimulation—although you also appreciate people who can draw out your softer side.
Are INTJ and ENFJ personality types compatible? See how INTJs and ENFJs get along in this guide to INTJ/ENFJ relationships. If you're an INTJ in a relationship with an ENFJ, discover how you'll communicate, interact, and relate to each other in daily life.
How INTJ and ENFJ Get Along
INTJs and ENFJs have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. As an INTJ, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an ENFJ.
When relating to your counterpart, bear in mind that as an Intuitive Feeling type, they will tend to be highly idealistic about their relationships. They want authentic connections that reflect their true values, and they want to see who you really are as a person. Intuitive Feelers want to go deep, and revealing yourself to them is a worthwhile endeavor—once they feel they know you, they'll be a tireless cheerleader for your dreams and ambitions.
When first meeting this person, they may seem to you to have an interesting mind. You may be drawn to their way of seeing things and their unconventional perspectives. However, they may also seem to you to be a bit whimsical. Although they will likely seem intelligent, they may also seem overly emotional or sensitive. They may be a bit wary of you, in turn, as you may seem more blunt and critical than they are entirely comfortable with.
You are logic-driven, whereas your counterpart is values-driven. Although you both like to analyze, your interest lies more with logic and reason—does this make sense? Is it the most efficient, the most even-handed option? On the other hand, your counterpart takes their cues from morality and ethics—how can this work best for people? You may find that although you are drawn into fascinating conversations with this person, those same conversations tend to end in frustration as you simply cannot agree on what's important.
However, you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. Your logical, rational nature may at times betray you, leading you to try to apply logic to situations that are ultimately subjective and personal. This person, who at their worst appears capricious and illogical, can help you to tune into your more emotional, caring side and ensure that you don't neglect what makes you human. In particular, they may help you to understand that all decisions cannot be made with the head; sometimes your heart must call the shots.
Conversely, you can help them learn how to balance their decision-making. Although your friend's natural instinct is to do what feels right, you can ask tough questions that help them to consider all aspects of the choice—and make a difficult decision when the situation calls for it. You can also help them learn to advocate for their own needs, and to discover the magic of saying "no."
This person likely has a higher energy level than you do, and you may find their enthusiasm overwhelming at times. You may find it important to set boundaries and let them know when you need space and quiet.