INFJ
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INFJ at Work

At work, the INFJ is focused on the task of bettering the human condition. INFJs are dedicated, helpful, and principled workers who can be relied on to envision, plan, and carry out complex projects for humanitarian causes.

Although they are typically driven by lofty ideals, Counselors gain the most satisfaction from their work when they can turn their ideas into reality, creating constructive change for other people.

INFJs are typically organized and prefer work that allows them to complete projects in an orderly manner. They are often independent and tend to prefer a quiet environment that allows them the opportunity to fully develop their own thoughts and ideas.

The ideal work environment for an INFJ is harmonious, industrious, and oriented to a humanitarian mission, with co-workers who are similarly committed to positive change. The ideal job for a Counselor allows them to use their creativity in an independent, organized environment to develop and implement a vision that is consistent with their personal values.

INFJ Career Facts

Popular Careers for the INFJ

The top driver for INFJs in choosing a career is the opportunity to do something that is consistent with their values. Often, INFJs choose careers in helping professions like health care, education, or counseling. INFJs are thinkers by nature and appreciate careers that allow them to use their intellect on problems that interest them. Often, these are people problems, for instance in psychology, but INFJs can also be found in other areas of the sciences and even engineering.

Many INFJs have a creative streak which can be seen in the top INFJ career trends. Working with language is especially popular for INFJs, but they can also be found in various fields in the arts.

Top career choices for INFJs include:

Health Care

Health care careers are a wonderful opportunity for INFJs to combine their deep caring for the welfare of other people with their often formidable intellectual capabilities. Many INFJs enjoy the sciences and find it extremely satisfying to put their scientific knowledge to use in helping others. Sample health care careers for INFJs include:

Counseling and Social Service

INFJs are typically wonderful listeners and deep, insightful thinkers when it comes to personal problems. They have a high degree of intuition about people and a deep well of patience in dealing with sticky emotional situations. All of these qualities make them talented, compassionate counselors, social servicepeople, and religious workers. Sample counseling and social service careers for INFJs include:

Sciences

INFJs often enjoy the intellectual challenge of the sciences, and can be found in scientific careers that relate to their values. Sample science careers for INFJs include:

Business & Law

INFJs are often found making the business world a little more human, in HR, training, or the more humanitarian professions within the law. Sample careers for INFJs in the business and legal fields include:

Education

Although teaching in front of a classroom is a typically Extraverted activity and can be a challenge for more Introverted INFJs, they often find it deeply satisfying to help children and adults grow and develop. Education careers that involve working with smaller groups, or one-on-one, are an especially good fit. Sample education careers for INFJs include:

Language and Arts

Many INFJs love the expressive quality of language, and they typically have the focus and concentration necessary to be excellent writers and editors. Other areas of the arts appeal as well. Sample artistic careers for INFJs include:

More Careers for the INFJ

For more INFJ careers, use our interactive personality type career search tool.

Least Popular Careers for INFJs

It is important to note that any personality type can be successful in any occupation. However, some occupations are well suited to the natural talents and preferred work style of the INFJ, while other occupations demand modes of thinking and behavior that do not come as naturally to this type. Occupations that require the INFJ to operate outside their natural preferences may prove stressful or draining, and often sound unappealing to Counselors who are choosing a career.

The following occupations have been found to be unpopular among INFJs, based on data gathered from surveys of the general population.

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Check out the INFJ Discussion Forum

Want to have a more in-depth conversation about being an INFJ? Head on over to our discussion forum and post your questions, comments, and/or general musings!

Comments

Guest (not verified) says...

I took this test about 15 years ago and I was INTP. At that time, INTP made sense, and years later INFJ seems to fit. Very interesting.

Guest (not verified) says...

It changes as you grow, and when u have more experiences in life, also u get to have different view of the world.

Guest (not verified) says...

I don't really agree. As a person, you are who you are. Our perception of ourselves becomes truer through experiences, thus at an early age we don' t really know who we are. The INFJ is the rarest among personality types apparently, thus looking at other people around us, we find it very difficult to understand where the hell we exactly fit in!

Guest (not verified) says...

I would agree that your result from this test could change over time. It is designed on the premise that questions are answered based on how the participant sees them self. This could most definitely change over time.

You can't expect the teenager who wishes to be a rockstar to see them self in the same light when they have grown older and decided to have a career or go to college or even just begin working.

Guest (not verified) says...

I have taken that test multiple times over the course of eight years and I have changed as a person a lot over time, but my results are always the same. My hobbies, my interests, and my career has changed but the core of who I am has not. I am interested in helping people but I have become jaded over time and then I read a little INFJ carton with the caption that read, The words I do not care are not in my dictionary, except when I am lying to myself. That made me think about what matters most to me and how being jaded does not change how much I really am a sensitive empathetic person. I am now deciding to go into social work. Thanks for sharing this article and thanks for listening to my mini rant. =)

Randal (not verified) says...

Conscientious social workers and honest cops get a free pass into heaven.

Guest (not verified) says...

When I first took this test 15-20 years ago I was an INFJ - but the N and S part were borderline (so I took it repeatedly to try to make sure and it was always Intuitive.) With this test they have me as an ISFJ and the list of occupation fits and unfits is perfectly me. I think I changed a bit.

GuestAly (not verified) says...

Me too. When I first took this test I was an INFJ, and that seemed to really fit me. Years later I've taken it again and test ISFJ. I've been at the same job for 14 years and it involves a lot of focus and attention to details. I think life has made me more "S" though back then I sure was an INFJ :)
I also realize there are other things about us that make us "us" - not every INFJ or ISFJ is the same, etc.
I've done Strength Finders and some of my top strengths (Connectedness, Developer, Individuation) tie in to the INFJ profile gifts.
We are all so fascinating!

Guest (not verified) says...

ARTICLES ARE BASED ON THE MOST COMMON CHARACTERISTICS AMONG INFJs FELLA. THIS DOESN'T DEFINE WHO WE REALLY ARE. HEHE

infj girlie (not verified) says...

YOU GO! hehe

Guest (not verified) says...

make a social site for a community

Guest (not verified) says...

That would be awesome actually, maybe then we would feel less lonely.

Guest (not verified) says...

And boy does it get lonely

Guest (not verified) says...

agreed

Becky764 (not verified) says...

It is a lonely life because no one understands why or what you are trying to get them to see. I can plainly see what the problem is but if the person is not going to listen then whats a person to do but to start keeping their mouth shut. I am seen as unsympathetic sometimes and some say that I dont know their pain and what I am saying may work for someone else but not them. I find it very frustrating to see what I can see and then have no way to fix it or get my point across. I am recluse now. Live out in the woods with the wind and God. I am happy by myself or with another.

Guest (not verified) says...

Yeah; often times it's easy to get caught up in the wanting to tell them about their problems, and it becomes really hard to imagine what they would feel if I told them what I think of them. Which creates problems, because then they might get hurt and see me as insensitive and stuff.

draco (not verified) says...

Usually when I try to help someone that person may not understand what I'm trying to say or want to face reality. Many times I may as well be wrong or simply not quite get what the other person is truly feeling. Being an INFJ doesn't necessarily mean I am always right but we do learn from our mistakes just like any other person and assimilate what we feel that's important to us. I strive to become a better person every single day not that is always possible. Silence and solitude are my best counselors and until now I thought I was an outcast, but in truth that is the best way for me understand myself and try to grow beyond my mortal bounds. No one seems to understand my motives most of the time and some think that I need medical attention. Why? Why should I feel that I am so different that I actually need drugs to put myself straight? I've always felt different no matter where I go or to whomever I talk to but is it a bad thing? I went through hell at school since I never found any girlfriend, even now with 30 years old people love to throw shit in my face because of that but who are them to judge? Who am I to judge what is wrong or right to someone else's? People like to tell me what I should do about that but, what if that isn't what I'm looking for? Can't I believe in something that doesn't make sense to others or should I join them in mediocrity? A relationship for me isn't just being married or having a kid, it goes way beyond the mortal coils. I do not care about external beauty but beauty coming for the inside. Truth above all else and devotion from both sides is what I believe in, but sometimes, I seem to be the only one thinking this way. If anything else, you should believe in yourself and stand by your principles, even if other people disagree with you.

Guest (not verified) says...

I totally understand what you're saying. Just... don't settle, okay? It's better to never marry than to settle for someone who doesn't fulfil your needs and make you feel as comfortable in who you are as when you're on your own. Life isn't all about romance and sex. There's so, so much more to it. INFJs have been given the gift of seeing that in our world, and it's amazing!!

draco (not verified) says...

If I were to settle for someone just to make these people who don't understand who I am happy, I would just be lying to myself, and especially to the other person. But in the end, I don't want to do that, mostly because I know that I wouldn't be able to give my everything to her since my life has been revolving around work and some other things. I don't really need or want to divert my attention from it. Especially knowing that having someone in your life takes a lot of your time and attention towards your partner.

To be honest, I prefer having a really good friend; someone you can talk to on a daily basis about things that are happening with your life and the sort, rather than someone to share my bed with. It's as simple as that, but throughout my life there has always been those who think that I'm just too afraid to approach a woman and "get laid" because that seems to be the epiphany of what it means to be a man for some reason. Even if in the end, that act would feel empty to me. But this is the society we live in so what can I do other than making my point clear to those who think they are better than me just because they are married or with someone? I used to avoid even talking to these people, but right now, I even laugh in their face for their stupidity and narrow-mindedness.

Guest (not verified) says...

hey

I just realised that i am not crazy, i feel exctly the same way.

you just made my day.

draco (not verified) says...

Haha! :) It's nice to know that my input on this matter may have helped you out in some way.

At some point I thought that I was crazy for thinking this way as well. Society will criticize anyone that deviates from the standards, but even those who consider themselves to be in the "standard" group, have their share of headaches as well.

I don't really care what others may think of me because, in the end, I'm the one in control of my own life, and that's how it should be. Don't let others control your feelings, just stay true to yourself and don't make any rash decisions when it comes to love. You may get hurt pretty bad in the process. It happened to me before and it was tough to get through it...

Guest (not verified) says...

I'm sorry it was hard, I understand too

Outsider (not verified) says...

This might seem like oversimplifying but, when it's right, it's right. You'll know when it's right and you won't have to worry about your life revolving around work or other things. You will make the time and other changes in your life to accommodate the relationship. The funny thing is that you will do it happily and enjoy the changes you make to do it which, for me, were exciting because I don't typically jump to make major changes. All you can hope for is that when you find the right person is that you are also the right person for them. Sometimes that all just comes down to timing in your life and theirs. For me it did not work out but, looking back, I don't dwell negatively on the fact that it didn't work. Instead choose to appreciate the experience that I didn't think was possible and feel the way I felt. I learned a lot about myself and now know that it can happen. Taking this personality test and information on my results certainly makes me feel better about feeling like I don't fit in. I've always got along with all different types of groups when I was younger in school but never felt like I... had a solid place in any of them. Kind of a great thing in one way but not so easy on the head?

Bubblezz (not verified) says...

You hit the nail right on the head for me. I to do not have a problem falling in love but I do have a difficult time connecting to the "right" people. I usually fall in love with a person that doesn't really get me but loves me and tries hard to understand. I love him so much so I end up doing way too much and feel slightly resentful when the same effort isn't returned. I see certain things in him that he doesn't and most times I end up right in the end which astonishes him at times. I do not have issues getting friends but I to do have a difficult time staying close to most over time. I can see how this is the the most rare personality type. Reading these comments really gave me a warm comfort inside. I wonder if there are in person meetings for this?? That would be pretty cool. 

draco (not verified) says...

That is true. I will indeed feel when the time is right for love, and I will as well, involuntarily, make the time to be with the one I love. I was in that situation once, and believe me, I changed drastically during that time because I felt I had met the one woman that was meant for me. Turns out she wasn't, and looking back, I learned a lot from that experience; especially how you can be played by someone else when you dive deep into a one-sided relationship.

 

My defenses were pretty weak at the time, because of a depression that had settled in some time before that. I was desperately looking for some comfort; someone to lighten up the way for me, as the path I was walking in was dark and grim. She accidentally did that for me, and from a simple conversation, I began to like her. You know, it’s pretty easy to mistake an illusion for the one you want to be with— someone you picture in your head that doesn’t actually exist. I clung so hard to this illusion that even after discovering she was simply playing with me, I didn’t want to let go. It’s silly to even think this actually happened to me, especially after so many years and so many changes in my life…

 

To be honest, I haven’t completely discarded the possibility of falling in love again, but I won’t let myself be toyed with to this point ever again. Also, seeing that I’m not actively looking for a woman to share my life with right now, it will make the process even slower. If it happens, it happens, but I prefer my solitude and clear mindedness from all of the issues involved with a romance over anything else at the moment.

 

You see, I believe that we, the INFJ, are drawn to other people with the same mindset. So even if you get along with someone from another group, there will always be something that will bother you about that person. It can be something pretty insignificant but that feeling will nag you constantly, and you will eventually distance yourself. This happens a lot to me, especially when I see something about that person that isn’t quite right in my book. A group of people can be far worse in this respect, and these are always the first I usually jump out the fastest.

 

I don’t know about you, but I’ve embraced my solitude, and I hardly need a reason to move away from it. Also, sorry for answering like an year after or so… : (

Hermione (not verified) says...

I feel as if there is no one out there that feels the same way as we do. As individuals there would be a difference in thought process among us all, but due to the fact that we are all human, our central morals and understanding of right and wrong is usually somewhat alike. Everywhere, you see prime examples of people that HAVE achieved something that impacts the world in some way. There's so much pressure to BE something because there is no point in living if nothing can be done or achieved. There are countless problems sitting there, rotting, getting worse as we humans ignore the fact that they exist solely because the term fear exists. I understand that you feel the need to improve, because I too, feel the same way. We are loners and it's been that way for so long, that if changed, would be unnatural. What you're looking for is there. It's in you, because you are the beautiful that you're looking for inside.

draco (not verified) says...

Throughout my life I met vastly different people and I usually like to play a little game of "test your personality and values", usually on a complete innocent conversation not to make it too obvious to them. From what I've seen and heard, their definition of right or wrong can differ vastly from my own on many, many levels. Some believe that stealing is wrong, but they can't resist the urge to do it despite knowing it's wrong. Same goes to other situations like, cheating on your partner, lying, hurting others emotionally or physically, the list goes on...

When I see such situations, I can't bring myself to just accept what's going on in front of my eyes because "it's how it's supposed to be". I've seen so much injustice in my life that I really don't care if I get in trouble by expressing myself about it. Some people are worse than monsters, and I like to let them know about it.

If we want to make a difference, we have to start with the people that surrounds us every single day like family, schoolmates or workmates. I'm a loner at heart and I do need to be one because that's who I am, but being part of the human society, makes us deal with other people even if we don't want to. Some will respect you and help you out of the goodness of their heart, while others will simply try to take advantage of you especially if your will is weak to try and defend yourself. But as long as I live, I won't allow injustices like this to happen without fighting them to the best of my abilities. It may seem like I'm a contentious person, but it couldn't be further from the truth because I don't like arguments, but sometimes we just have to act, rather than just being a spectator in something that makes you sick in the stomach.

Pristine (not verified) says...

Man can I relate here. I often feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. It actually amazes me how people can be so contradicting. Because of all of my experiences, as a rule, I don't trust people. Thank God I do have those I do trust, even though it's a very small number (I can't count on one hand). Me, I pride myself on being honest and the few times I have had to lie, man it hurts. Besides, I am terrible at lying. So what I've learned to do is to basically keep my mouth shut.

For me, I just try to make a difference by just being myself and treat others how I want to be treated. Now if I only I could use these traits of mind and find a good job that suits because that's been my biggest struggle.

draco (not verified) says...

You said it all here. I also don't trust other people that easily because at the slightest change that I don't like in their behavior, it's gonna leave a bad taste in my mouth that won't go away that easy. Even if it is a small thing. I am honest and I hate people who lie all the time, especially when they do it in their own benefit. But I do understand an occasional lie if it doesn't affect others negatively. And to be honest I don't like doing that myself, I feel terrible when I have to do it, as it goes against everything I am.

True, I too treat others with respect all the time, unless of course someone crosses the line-- when that happens, I don't lower myself to their level but I do say everything I have to say, whether if said person likes it or not. It's tough to follow our dreams nowadays with all the barriers we have living in a society. I can only hope that you find the perfect job for you, I certainly am not so lucky to have found the one for me, but there should be places well worse than that I suppose. Just have some faith and keep fighting to achieve your dreams! ;)

Pristine (not verified) says...

Thank you. Well, I have unfortunately been betrayed by both kith and kin so I have a pretty good reason for not trusting others. But I learned that bitterness will only hurt me in the end and I always put myself first now because that way I can than help others. It took my awhile to learn that too. I was raised to "always help others", but I've learned that if you keep on giving, you can lose yourself (which I think is a struggle for INFJ types). I've taken that path and it really led me to almost making the biggest mistake in life. Thank God I didn't cross that line.

At this point, just being financially independent is my dream. I've had tastes of freedom a few times, once through college when for one year I stayed at the dorms, and those were the times when I was truly happy. I was active and productive and felt like I was actually doing something.

draco (not verified) says...

Yeah I know the feeling... People can grow accustomed to always being on the receiving end instead of doing things themselves. At some point we just have to close our hands and make them understand that life isn't just begging for help; we have to deal with the problems ourselves and not always waiting for the goodwill of others to help us out. I often hear around these parts: "if you want to lose a friend, just lend him/her money", and it's quite the truth because even if that person pays you back, he/she'll most likely keep asking for more until he/she stops giving it back. You'll be pressed to confront him/her and your friendship will most likely end there as the trust has already been tainted.

There are limits on how we can help others, easy money will make people subconsciously believe that they can get away with debts by constantly asking others for money, which in turn, will probably lead to these situations.

When I help other people, I do it of my own free will. I don't wait or ask for anyone to return the favor later on because whatever I did to help them, was because I wanted to. You can still help others in a way that won't hurt you financially or emotionally, you just have to know when to extend or pull back your hand, it may hurt them, but sometimes people just have to understand when to stand on their own two feet.

And yeah, despite having a job, I don't get that much income to have my own freedom; which is to go and live somewhere else, away from all the things that bother me, and do what I love the most in my life. I understand what you're feeling and I share the same opinion. It's too bad that life can be so cruel, but from all the defeats we get, we can always learn something from it and adjust ourselves the best way we can.

Outsider (not verified) says...

Feel the same way. Unfortunately it's only recently, at 38 years old, I am starting to resist my natural desire to help people every time. Even typing this makes me feel like a bad or selfish person. I read somewhere not long ago about what a homeless person's response was when asked how they got to the point they were currently in. To paraphrase, they basically said that through life in the process of building their "house" or "foundation" they slowly through this process gave a brick away to help someone and another to someone else. In the end they had no bricks left for themselves. In a sense I am envious of a person that gives whenever they are able to give but it sure seems like in this world there are so many that take and take with only themselves in mind with no afterthought to give the brick back when they are able. I try to go into situations with helping people that I should expect nothing in return but it still seems disappointing in the end.

draco (not verified) says...

There should be limits as to when we open or close our hands. Lending money is often a mistake, and most people only ask for money because if they can get away with it the first time, they will most likely ask you again and again for more. If someone is really in dire need of help then give them the means to survive: "you need a warm meal, and you have no money to get one? fine, I'll prepare one myself or buy one somewhere.", "you need some warm clothes for winter? fine, I'll give you some old clothes that I don't use anymore or, let's get some new ones from a shop nearby". Just 2 examples here, but as you can see, you can still help people without leading them to abuse from your generosity-- some things don't necessarily have much of an impact in your life, so why would you need to part with money directly? That would only lead to abuse later on.

 

I personally would only feel disappointed for helping someone, if said person decided to stop fighting entirely to have a better life. Sometimes it's easier to simply be dependant on other people's generosity, other than fighting to achieve something tangible in life. It's a pretty sad sight in my opinion...

MelissaC (not verified) says...

You speak as if you're in my head. Wow, just beautiful!

draco (not verified) says...

Thanks! :) It only goes to show that people with our same mindset do exist. I felt lost and alone throughout my life thinking that I was the only one thinking this way, now I don't feel so alone anymore. :)

Bubblezz (not verified) says...

Same here! This is a real eye opener to me and so comforting to know that other people out there think similar to me when I had a difficult time finding it. I always felt like an "outsider" or "misunderstood" especially throughout high school and college years even though I always had a social life and friends. Real connections with people were always lacking. 

draco (not verified) says...

I don't have all that many people that I can say without a doubt that are my friends, real friends. Those are pretty hard to come by, but when you meet one, it's usually for life. The word "friend" or "friendship" is usually thrown without much thought given to it nowadays, but having a real friendship with someone else, involves way more effort than a single message on social media like many were made to believe. In our case, I believe it's somewhat harder to make friends because we're loners by nature, so we don't fit in all that well in modern society to begin with...

 

This doesn't really bother me though, as I've learned not to depend on other people many years; it usually only leads to disappointment in the end...

tashawalkup says...

You've managed to take those words strait from my lips. I've told my loved ones many, many times over the years, it seems to go in one ear and out the other, and just entirely dismissive when I speak. I believe that you and I could benefit a great deal if we were to establish a sincer friend ship with one another

draco (not verified) says...

In essence, our family and friends simply cannot see who we truly are. It's the same as trying to teach a child to read; most concepts about the language can't be taught in a single class, it needs to be a slow process to burn this knowledge into their minds. But there are those who simply don't care about learning and prefer to dismiss it right away as "it's too hard, I can't understand it". So, there are people who do at least try to slowly understand you and respect your thoughts, even if they don't agree with them, and there are those who simply don't understand the basic concept that we are all different and want to pull you into their mindset almost by force, dismissing everything you say as rubbish.

You simply can't win against these people, even if you try to explain yourself to them (not that you need to or should do that though). They may agree with you at some point, but in the next day, it all goes back to square one and the bullying or the lecture in "how to be a man" or "how to behave as a man" starts all over again. It's truly not worth it to try and convince others that you're different, it simply won't flow. In time, people grow accustomed with the idea of having us around, not that it will stop them from giving you the occasional lecture but hey, it's a start at least.

Sure why not? It's always important and fun to talk to other people, we may even be able to help each other out in understanding ourselves better. :)

Guest (not verified) says...

I kinda have similar experience like you. Since I entered junior high school. I just felt different of any other else in my school. I think too deep. my values do not match to them. High school is the same experience. People just don't understand me. Actually it's my fault that I am not willing to open up but once again their values are different from mine even though I got into the top school in my country. I'm just tired sometimes being different from any other else in my school. I want many friends as possible. Seems fun. :(

draco (not verified) says...

Most people won't understand who we are because their perceptions and values often don't allow them to see further than what they feel it's right for them-- hence why we have so much difficulty fitting in. Those who call you a friend, don't often know the true meaning of the word; what it asks out of them. Most will cower in fear, and even join the bullies, when their "friend" is being harassed for his/her true nature.

I hardly have any friends, but honestly, I wouldn't trade a good friend of mine for a group of people that at the end of the day will shun and harass you when your usefulness expires. This has happened to me in the past and because of that I stopped depending on other people and trusting them the way I used to, as it hurts way more when someone you trust and respect treats you like garbage...

Waiting for Godot (not verified) says...

That is how we feel most of the time; frustrated. Attempts to connect do not end well and are very draining emotionally, reaffirming my belief that I would be happiest living in a small cabin in the mountains, surrounded with my books, a chocloate lab on the rug in front of the fireplace. Lonely?? I don't think so...I'd rather be alone than constantly disappointed. But every now and then I venture forth to tilt at another windmill. ...I am a firm believer that time spent caring for someone is never wasted. It is a true test of your emotional maturity to risk a pain like no other, again and again, hoping but never expecting to find someone worth caring about.

dalywood says...

I very much relate to several points you made. However, I would say I'm more disappointed (in people) and at times disillusioned (briefly, and cyclically) than frustrated. Your comment about preferring to be alone rather than being disappointed is right on the mark. I totally understand and it is my dream as well to live in a cozy cabin, in the mountains, with a creek, with my cats, in front of a fireplace, reading and exploring in a multitude of ways (internally and externally). I'm rarely lonely as I now have a compatible partner in life, and he is more introverted than I am; my alone time is a necessity of proportions I cannot begin to describe. I am also rarely bored as I'm always learning, discovering and find ways to entertain myself. Lastly, I don't think people understand the pain we always carry, but it is that pain that makes us as empathetic and caring as we are. It is a two-edged sword and with time and life experiences (I'm from the baby boomer generation), we learn how to use and live with that pain in more constructive and caring ways. I wish much peace and love for you.

Kdkm (not verified) says...

Oh, beautifully said. Thank you for sharing about the pain we carry. Yes! That has been my experience as well. I feel life so acutely. The highs are higher and lows are deeper. There's a beauty in that emotional range and depth, but it is also filled with isolation and pain too. Would I change this about me if I could? No!! I love seeing life the way that I do, however it is also a burden. Thank you for validating my internal perspective.

I found the discussion about preferring to be alone versus disappointed by others interesting. I was married for over thirty years before my husband passed away last year. I have to say that despite the marriage being less than ideal, sharing my life was very satisfying and preferable to being constantly alone. I have met someone recently who is more similar in personality and it has been an amazing experience. It is making a world of difference to be in an intimate relationship with a person who is more compatible. So I'm encouraging those of you to not throw away your wishes for that kind of interpersonal intimacy. It's possible and very worth it.

Guest (not verified) says...

Wow. I never thought there were people like me. I'm only 12 and this is all so new to me. I try again and again to make people understand who I truly am, but it doesn't work. I've realised that you shouldn't live to please people because there's always gonna be that one person that you're gonna miss out. Helping people realise their potential, realise who they are is all I want to do and to do that obstacles must be waded through, pushed aside, gotten rid of. But not taken to heart. Sometimes, I wish I could fly, soar in the sky and leave all the worries and worldly matters behind. But then my heart takes me back to the people I love and care for and then the next day, it's the same thing again when you realise that people just won't understand.

I hope I never change. I want to live my life helping people, I really do. I feel horrid when I get envious of others because that's not who I am. There comes a time when you realise that you have what you have and to give is the best way for me to feel like I've been given something great. Somebody can give me the greatest thing in the world but to pay it forward would make me feel better than to receive it. I want to live my life changing the world. I have dreams, huge dreams. Like ending wars, inventing wings, crazy things. And I hold onto the, because I know they'll get me forward. It warms my heart to know that there are people out there who understand me and I hope they stay that way. For me, the thing that keeps me going is: to give is to receive. Thanks for being there and supporting all those in need.

P.S:- I love cats too. A cabin in the mountains with just me and nobody coming around calling me a crazy cat lady is sometimes all I wish for.

Mysticablue (not verified) says...

Thank you so much for clarifying not only the depth in the pain we carry, but also the truth for the good in it. I am a highly sensitive INFJ and very empathetic. I know that these are not values that are store bought, but that are driven deeply at the cost of my superficial existence that I am learning to separate from daily. By the way, I just learned that the INFJ has a shadow self that mirrors a superficial reflection of a ESTP and the purpose is to prevent us from discovering and accepting our authentic selves. We must break away from this and re-discover the freedom and beauty in being, just as we are.

Guest (not verified) says...

Find an INFP if your lonely. Worked for me.

Andromeda (not verified) says...

I agree :) Boyfriend is INFP and I couldn't be happier.

Guest (not verified) says...

Heh. My twin sister is an INFP, and whenever I'm feeling particularly lonely, or sad, I find it really helps to talk and just hang out with her.

Trish says...

I agree with you.  I can see how the person's actions have lead them into the situation they're in, then I can see possibilities of helping get back on the path they want to return to.  Many times I come across as insensitive, or they don't believe what I'm saying.  I usually end up walking away.  It took a long time for me to figure out that it is their choices and their life, and I can only offer a solution.

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