Your Relationship Superpower Based on Your Enneagram Type

You don't have to be a character in the Marvel Universe to access your superpowers! Each Enneagram type wears a cape of valiant strengths that you can use to nurture your relationships and pull your loved ones closer. 

Here's how you can harness your top superpower for better, healthier relationships.

Type 1: Supporting your loved one’s sense of purpose 

Like Captain America, Type Ones are crusaders of all they believe is right and good. You have a strong sense of purpose and are always striving for improvement, both in yourself and others. This can be a powerful superpower in relationships, as you can use it to help your significant other define, and stay focused on, their life’s purpose. 

Inspire your loved one by:

  • Helping them find a good (but not perfect!) outlet for their passion and altruism.
  • Providing the structure they need, allowing them to take on missions that may bleed into weekend and evening hours.
  • Modeling your natural self-discipline to help them reach their highest potential and applauding their efforts.

Type 2: Creating community wherever you are

As a Type Two, your superpower lies in your ability to nurture social networks and relationships. You cast a wide net around neighbors, work colleagues, extended family, your daughter’s karate teacher and anyone else who strikes up a conversation. You’re the glue that holds people together, and your love for others is truly a force to be reckoned with. 

Share this gift with your significant other by:

  • Introducing them to relationships that expand their social circle.
  • Drawing friends and family members together regularly, keeping these bonds strong.
  • Welcoming new friends to your table. Who knows? These unexpected connections may end up becoming your partner’s best golf buddy.

Type 3: Encouraging your partner to take on new goals 

No one understands the satisfaction of achievement more than a Type 3. You have a natural drive for success and are always looking for ways to improve and reach your goals. This can be an incredible asset in relationships, as you can use it to motivate your significant other as their biggest cheerleader.

Champion your partner by: 

  • Helping them discover what they want to accomplish, whether it’s a career goal or a personal ambition (running a marathon, traveling to Greece, saving for a new car).
  • Sharing your processes for reaching the desired end. With your experience in getting to the finish line, you can help them pace their stride.
  • Encouraging them, never letting them give up.  

Type 4: Accepting all emotions with empathy and understanding

Type 4s have a rich emotional landscape and are comfortable traversing it. This superpower can be a huge benefit for your significant other. No need to fake happiness when feeling down. No worries about suppressing their childlike joy when something exciting happens. Emotionally speaking, 4s allow others to show up as they are. 

Put this strength into practice by:

  • Listening well to your partner to identify the nuances in how they feel.
  • Reflecting what you are hearing and helping them name their emotions.
  • Engaging your empathy as an ally when they share their struggles and triumphs.

Type 5: Encouraging their curiosity and learning  

If you want to take a class, attend a workshop or read every book ever published on a topic, Type 5s might be your perfect study buddy. Fives get a kick out of knowledge and appreciate having an interest that may not be mainstream. This is a powerful superpower in relationships, as it allows you to support your partner to grow, learn and try new things. 

Support your significant other by:

  • Discussing and learning about your partner’s topic of interest.
  • Exploring the possibilities with them, whether it’s meteorology, AI or the latest interior design trends!
  • Allowing your partner the time and space they need to devote to their learning experience.

 Type 6: Being there in good times and bad

When everyone else bails, Type 6s remain steady and loyal. You are the Robin to Batman, the Lois to Clark, the ever-dependable partner in the face of an uncertain world. 

Share your gift of loyalty by: 

  • Being present with your partner when they encounter difficulties, so they know they always have you in their corner.
  • Setting aside your fears to meet your loved one in theirs.
  • Using your constancy and proven competence to ease the pressure and work as a team with your partner.

Type 7: Drawing those around you to the lighter side

Because Type 7s live on the far side of optimism, you are natural mood-boosters. When your partner sees a problem, you see an opportunity. You masterfully avoid any heaviness in the moment with a meme or joke you have been waiting to share, bringing joy and positivity to the relationship.  

Elevate your relationship by:

  • Using your humor to defuse conflict while still dealing with the issue.
  • Providing the upside, helping your partner reframe a difficult situation in a more favorable light.
  • Scheduling mini-adventures often to help you create positive memories together.

 Type 8: Motivating with contagious energy

Type 8s are driven by energy and tenacity. At times, you can overwhelm people with your commanding presence. But when you convert this energy into positive force, you can be an inspiring partner. Who doesn’t want a person on their team and a strong advocate by their side? 

Be the wind in your significant other’s sails by:

  • Pushing them to take action on what they want most.
  • Encouraging them to muster their own inner strength and courage.
  • Affirming their capabilities and determination as essential parts of who they are.

Type 9: Creating a safe place by being “easy to be with”

The peace-loving nature of Type 9s makes for a soft landing when arriving home from a frustrating day. Your calm, inviting presence can be a sigh of relief for a stressed-out partner, like changing from your work clothes into yoga pants. Your low-key way of being may not seem like a superpower—until it is missing. 

Engage this sense of serenity by:

  • Preparing the hot chocolate and having the blanket nearby. Warm and cozy is the vibe.
  • Giving your significant other the space to unwind before taking on the next task.
  • Anticipating the bumps in your evening plans and smoothing them out before they become sources of irritation.
Beth Dumey
Beth Dumey’s articles have appeared in Psych Central (Healthline Media), Writer’s Digest magazine, On The Couch, Med Device Online, and many more. With a MA in Communications, a MA in Counseling Psychology, and a BA in Journalism, she combines her interest in healthcare and psychology as a communicator, storyteller and coach. She holds certification as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and as a Certified Advanced Teacher in the Enneagram Spectrum Method. For more, go to