12 Personality-Based Couple Activities to Help Strengthen your Relationship

Relationships come with their fair share of work, and that amount of work can vary depending on you and your partner’s personality types. While people with opposing personality types can coexist and even thrive, you may experience common issues like miscommunication, tension or disappointment when your relationship has some weak spots.  

Personality testing can help you spot the major sticking points in your relationship, so if you haven’t taken tests together or individually, that’s a great place to start. Understanding how you and your partner vary can set you on the first path to strengthening your relationship’s weaknesses through communication. Some personality differences you may identify include the clash of an Extravert-Introvert relationship or opposing Love Styles. For instance, if your partner has a Financial love style and likes to give and receive love through money and gifts, this may be hard to relate to if your love style is Emotional.

With all that in mind, here’s how you can take what you’ve learned from your personality assessments and apply it towards strengthening your relationship.    

1. Schedule some time apart, together

It may sound counterintuitive, but some personality types need time apart (frankly, everyone needs some alone time) to fully appreciate time together. This is a particularly good move for couples dealing with an Introverted-Extraverted relationship. Introverts crave alone time and Extraverts want to socialize. By scheduling time apart, each type can recharge their batteries before spending more quality time together.

2. Learn to respect each other’s space

Those with an extraverted personality might want to spend 24/7 with their introverted partner, but Introverts need some time to refresh. Those with an Activity Love Style also may find it challenging to balance receiving the quality time they need without smothering their partner. Have a conversation about time together and boundaries. Learning to respect each other’s space will help the relationship.

3. Make a rule to face important discussions head-on

Some personality types will go out of their way to avoid conflict – the best example being an Enneagram Type Nine.  But even if you aren’t a conflict-avoidant type, facing problems in your relationship can be terrifying. Nonetheless, ignoring meaningful conversations is detrimental to your relationship. If you and your partner have an issue, you should address it rather than let it fester.

4. Take turns engaging in activities the other person enjoys

As a couple, you should have some form of give and take. For example, if you’re an Introvert, you may not want to go to your partner’s work party, but you should make sure you aren’t always saying “no” to things your partner wants you to experience with them. Take turns participating in activities you may not enjoy, but your partner loves. This will strengthen their appreciation for you and vice versa. 

5. Discover both your Love Styles together

If you haven’t taken the Love Styles test, do so as a couple. Take yours, then have them take theirs. Compare your results. You may find that you have a main Love Style you weren’t aware of and thus didn’t know how to put it into words. This can be a fun “getting to know each other better” exercise, but it will also give you both insight into how to best give love to your partner. 

6. Make a game out of identifying your relationship’s problem areas

Take an evening and sit down with your partner. Create a back-and-forth game of discussing where your relationship needs work. Make it visual or multimedia. For example, you can create a PowerPoint or a graph to demonstrate areas that need some attention. Keep it fun and lighthearted, but make sure you understand it’s also a serious meeting. 

7. Sync up your bedtime schedules

While it may not be possible to go to sleep at the same time as your partner, research suggests that syncing your bedtime (even if it isn’t time for you to sleep yet) can improve a couple’s intimacy in multiple ways and may provide a better night’s sleep. Although there isn’t much evidence to suggest that having different bedtimes is detrimental to your relationship, the positive implications from research do suggest it can strengthen your relationship as a couple when you hit the hay simultaneously. You may be wondering what this has to do with personality - it’s all about understanding your partner’s needs, even if they are different from yours.

8. Have a communication-themed game night

A couple’s game night can be a great way to increase your communication skills. So grab some snacks and reach for some games that are fine-tuned for couples. There are even some games designed by therapists for couples, such as the downloadable Couple’s Pursuit or a psychologist-made game called Couple Connect. But really, any game that requires communication can help you both learn how to convey your opinions better. 

9. Select a day of the week for engaging in each other’s Love Style

It might be difficult to mindfully engage in your significant other’s Love Style every day, especially if coming up with terms of endearment or engaging in physical affection doesn’t come naturally. Many couples find it helpful to select one day out of the week that is dedicated specifically to this. A weekend day is optimal. Take turns so you both feel appreciated.

10. Schedule at least one fun activity every couple of weeks

It’s easy to let your relationship fall into a routine but, when it doesn’t include some fun activities, routine can take a toll on your happiness as a couple. Per Psychology Today, The Gottman Institute, a leading organization for marital and relationship research, continues to identify higher relationship satisfaction correlates with making time to have fun together. Be sure to talk about what “fun” means for you - you'll need to compromise if one of you wants a night out on the town while the other prefers to hike up a mountain.

11. Keep a comments box together

Remember those “comments” boxes some workplaces use to foster communication? If you and your partner cannot talk about some habits that bother you, you may want to make a comments box together. Build and design it however you’d like — make it a fun craft night. Then, set your rules for leaving respectful comments throughout the week. Schedule a day of the week to read and discuss them.

12. Engage in mock interviews

Take turns interviewing each other with important life questions. By asking key questions, like questions about your childhood or your life goals, you’ll get to understand each other better. When couples are able to open up to each other (and ask questions such as these curated 36), it should spark empathy, understanding and closeness. When you’re the interviewer, remember to keep it fun and don’t push questions that make your partner feel uncomfortable.

Summing it up

Whatever your differences are with your partner, you can approach them in a new light if you take it upon yourselves to address them together. Communication is key, but when communication isn’t easy or you don’t know how to detail your needs, personality tests can help you uncover the “whys” of your behavioral differences. As you work on strengthening your relationship together, look for ways that speak to you both. Maybe that’s a simple candlelit dinner and a discussion or a full-fledged, playful “board” meeting. Couples are as unique as they are two individuals, so make sure to always take each other’s feelings into account.