Knowing the person your dating's love style can be a great way to boost intimacy and connection. But if you're in the early stages of getting to know someone, asking them whether they relate to a physical, intellectual or financial love style can feel pretty vulnerable!
Luckily, there's another way to tell: examining their digital habits. Are they a great texter? Meme lover? Someone who prefers FaceTime? All of these behaviors give a glimpse into how the person you’re into likes to give and receive love.
Here’s what you need to know.
What are the seven love styles?
Before we dive into how the seven love styles play out in the digital realm, let’s first breakdown each preference. Now, you might be thinking: “Aren’t there five love languages?”
Originally, yes. But the first love language hypothesis was created over 40 years ago, and our ideas around expressing love have evolved since then.
In fact, when Truity conducted extensive research into love languages last year, we identified seven – not five – love styles.
As our founder and CEO Molly Owens noted: “We saw clearly that what people value most is a partner who listens to them, values their opinions and feelings, and provides them with empathy and respect. These factors weren’t adequately addressed in the original 5 Love Languages—possibly because our expectations of relationships have simply shifted with the times.”
With that in mind, here’s a brief overview of the updated seven love styles. As a side note, you’ll likely find that you and the person you’re dating relate to two or more of the love styles, not just one.
- Activity: People with this love style feel loved by their partner when they take an interest in their hobbies, work and carve out quality time to enjoy activities together.
- Appreciation: People who identify with this love style feel valued when their partner gives them words of affirmation – celebrating their achievements, appreciating them for who they are and showing their gratitude with loving words.
- Emotional: For individuals with the emotional love style, having a partner who supports and cares for them during turbulent times is key to feeling loved.
- Financial: People who identify with this love style feel most appreciated when their partner spends money on gifts and experiences that help or delight them.
- Intellectual: Individuals with the intellectual love style crave a meeting of the minds. They feel loved when their partner listens to their ideas, engages in thoughtful discussions, and values their intellect.
- Physical: For people with this love style, physical intimacy is crucial to feeling loved. Far more than being about sex, the physical love style also encapsulates small gestures of affection like hand holding, cuddling and quick good morning kisses.
- Practical: With this style, individuals feel loved when their partner goes above and beyond with acts of service, showing their affection by lightening the load for their significant other.
The seven love styles, but digital
Now that you know more about the seven love styles, here’s how they play out in the world of texting and social media:
Activity = Planning fun adventures
For people with the activity love style, making memories together is key to intimacy and connection. They’re the person that’s constantly coming up with interesting ideas for your next date, sharing links to different restaurants, destinations and experiences you can embark on together.
Appreciation = All day texting
With their focus on understanding and celebrating their partner to show and feel love, people that relate to the appreciation love style are likely to enjoy consistently communicating throughout the day, keeping in regular touch over text. They’re also likely to ask plenty of questions to get to know you better and show they’re interested in you, and will enjoy sharing details about themselves too.
Emotional = Voice notes
When times get tough, people with this love style look to the people around them for emotional support in order to feel secure. So, when something bad happens at work or in their personal life, they’ll probably send you a detailed voice note, sharing what’s gone on and looking to you to listen, empathize and reassure them.
Financial = Surprise online deliveries
Because people with this love style feel most appreciated when their partner shows generosity with finances, they’re most likely to use their phones to send the person they’re dating surprise gifts. This could be an unexpected bunch of flowers just because, a surprise takeout pizza after you had a bad day at work or even a piece of jewelry you mentioned while walking past the store the other day. Whatever it is, they’re showing their love by investing in something they hope will make you happy.
Intellectual = Sharing links to podcasts and articles
For people with this love style, meaningful conversation reigns supreme. They love sharing their ideas and hearing their partner’s thoughts and feelings. Over text, you’ll find them regularly sharing thought-provoking podcasts, articles and books, keen to start a discussion where you both share your ideas, explore diverse perspectives and learn something new.
Physical = Plenty of video calls
Individuals with the physical love style love feeling close to their partner. While digital communication means actual physical touch is off the cards, people with this love style are likely to try and replicate a similar level of intimacy through video calls. That way, they can see you, make eye contact and hear your voice.
Practical = Offering their help
With their focus on offering pragmatic, everyday support, people that relate to the practical love style are most likely to show love by offering their help. Whether it’s asking what food or drink they can bring over for dinner later or reminding you to pay that parking ticket you got in the mail last week, these digital gestures show they are thinking of you, want to take on some of your responsibilities, and will look after you.
Take the free seven love styles test today!
By now, you probably have a pretty solid idea of what your love style(s) are – and hopefully that of the person you’re dating too! Still, if you’d like to double check, then our free seven love styles test is for you. So go ahead, discover your love style, and let the journey of deep, meaningful, and fulfilling relationships begin!