How to Stop Yourself From Love Bombing If Your Love Style is Financial

If you identify with the Financial love style, you tend to show love to your partner by buying them gifts and using your money to spoil them. This brings you joy.

But the Financial love style isn’t without its challenges. While you might have good intentions, gift-giving can become a problem when the gifts are expensive, over-the-top or unnecessary. If you spoil someone with money and they don’t want you to, then your love style becomes a red flag for love bombing. 

The classic symptoms of love bombing include showering your partner with lavish gifts early on in the relationship. Someone with a Financial love style might do this as a gesture of their affection. But with love bombing, the person’s intentions are generally selfish and are designed to control or manipulate the recipient, even though the gift may appear generous on the surface.
So, how do you make the Financial not seem like love bombing? Here are some tips to help you show your partner love without being misunderstood. 

1: Establish value first 

You might love the idea of spoiling your partner with a designer shirt they had their eye on or a diamond necklace they can’t afford, but the Financial love style isn’t just about splurging on gifts. Be creative with what you’re spending your money on, with a focus on how money can bring value to your partner’s life. 

For example, purchasing your partner a practical gift, such as a new wallet because theirs is looking ratty, can be more meaningful for them than extravagant shoes. Similarly, contributing to household expenses or paying for items around the house can provide value by showing you’re invested in the relationship.

Healthy tips:

• Just because your gift is practical, like being related to chores around the house, it doesn’t mean it’s not valuable. 
• Daily expressions of love are usually more powerful than grand romantic gestures. 

2: Consider your partner’s feelings 

If you love showing love with your wallet, but your partner doesn’t value money much, this can cause problems. For example, although you might feel good about paying for your partner’s writing course or laptop, they might feel guilty about accepting the gift, or accepting it could make them feel resentful. 

It’s essential to communicate what you need to feel loved and safe and enable your partner to do the same. This is especially important if you and your partner have different love styles that aren’t always compatible, such as if your love style is Financial and theirs is Appreciation, in which they value compliments and praise.

Healthy tips:

• If you know your partner needs money for something, ask them if you can help them before surprising them with it. Even if they don’t accept your offer, they’ll see the love in your suggestion. That’s what counts! 
• Communicate what your thoughts are regarding a monetary contribution because your partner’s views could be vastly different. For example, if you give your partner money for education but they spend it on new clothing, this could upset you and cause relationship issues.   

3: Make it about your relationship

Instead of focusing on spending money on your partner, think about spending money on things you both enjoy doing together. A big part of the Financial love style is using money to invest in your relationship.

Research has shown that receiving experiential gifts makes people happier than material items. Bonding with your partner while sharing a unique or fun experience can have a longer-lasting effect than buying each other material gifts. 

Healthy tips:

• Ideas for experience gifts include doing something neither one of you has done before, like sky-diving or taking a fondue cooking class. You’ll be able to connect during the activity and make memories to last a lifetime. 
• Remember, your shared experience doesn’t have to be expensive. Focus on fun or creativity instead of money. For example, going on a walk to view a beautiful waterfall can be more meaningful than eating at a five-star restaurant.

4: Wait until your relationship is serious

Love styles are about love, not casual dating, so pace yourself in your relationship. Remember, love bombers tend to go over the top and shower someone with gifts very early in a relationship – long before they know someone well enough to make the gift-giving thoughtful and meaningful to their partner. 

As someone with a Financial love style, you might want to buy the person you’ve started dating an expensive, special-edition book that you know they’ll love or front-row tickets to see their favorite band in concert. But if you’ve only been dating for a few days or weeks, it’s better to wait until you’re sure you’re on the same page regarding how serious your relationship is before you whip out your credit card.

Healthy tips:

• Don’t be afraid to spoil your partner with small, meaningful gifts, even if you’ve only been dating briefly. While you want to press pause on the expensive stuff, a light or “inside joke” gift is always fun without adding pressure. 
• It’s not always easy to gauge the seriousness of your relationship, so if you’ve gone on dates for several weeks, broach the subject of defining the relationship. This is the best way to avoid confusion and ensure you’re both on the same page before showing your love.

5: Understand your partner’s views on money 

Money can be a tricky part of relationships, especially if you consider that it’s a leading cause of conflict in marriage. Before expressing love for your partner with money, communicate with them to learn more about their thoughts on money. 

For example, how important is money to them? What are their long-term financial goals? What are their spending habits? What do they like to splurge on? Are they saving money for anything important? Is some of their budget allocated to giving money to others? 

Your partner’s answers to these questions can help you better understand their approach to money and how much value they place on it.

Healthy tips: 

• Keep the conversation going by answering your own questions and being open to questions your partner has. 
• If your partner doesn’t place the same value on finances in relationships as you do, ask them about their love language. Consider taking Truity’s free Love Styles Test together as a couple, as it measures seven modern ways of showing and receiving love.

6: Consider both sides of the Financial love style: receiving and giving 

Love styles have two sides: how you like to receive love and how you like to give it. These can be different. For example, your partner might like to show love with practical help or acts of service, like making you breakfast or driving you to the airport, but like to receive gifts and financial support. 

It’s important to know what both of your receiving and giving styles are because there could be discrepancies in your love styles. For example, if your love style is Financial when it comes to receiving love, but your partner likes to show you love in a different way,  this could cause you to feel unfulfilled in the relationship.

While you might want your partner to surprise you with a mini-holiday or a pair of earrings, your partner might not naturally show love in this way. It can be uncomfortable to communicate the love you wish to receive if your love style is Financial because you don’t want to seem demanding or materialistic, but there are ways around this. 

Healthy tips:

• Find opportunities to explain to your partner why your love style is Financial. What does a Financial love style mean to you? Why does receiving gifts make you feel valued by your partner? Answering such questions can help your partner to better understand where you’re coming from and show love in the way you would like to receive it. 
• Tweak your love style. Maybe your partner feels uncomfortable about receiving or giving gifts but likes other parts of the Financial love style. There are no rules you have to stick to! Communicate about your love styles and feel free to tweak them so that you both give and get the love you want.  

Final Thoughts 

If you have a Financial love style, you might encounter relationship challenges that other love styles may not experience – like being accused of love bombing if you are too generous with the dates and red roses! But while blending money and love can be sticky in relationships, there are healthy ways to authentically express your Financial love style, such as by using money in creative and meaningful ways.  

Ultimately, love is not about the price tag, but the thoughtfulness and sincerity that go with it. Quality over quantity is key – in love as in all things.