By now you’ve probably heard of Truity's Seven Love Styles, our modern, research-backed update of Dr Gary Chapman's original five love languages. You might even have taken the free Love Styles test to help you understand your needs in relationships, figure out why your "I love yous" are missing the mark, and get on the same page as your partner.

But how often do you use the Love Styles outside of your romantic relationship? Not just with your friends and family – but in the workplace? Well, you’d be surprised how effective the Love Styles can be when used in a variety of settings.

Rather than just confining Love Styles to your love life, it’s time to start making space for them in all areas of your life. Here's how you can use the Love Styles to improve family functioning, strengthen friendships with intention, power up your love life and work better with your bosses and colleagues.

Activity Love Style: The Partner in Crime 

People with the Activity love style feel appreciated and loved when someone takes an interest in their hobbies and passions. This love style goes beyond spending quality time together – it’s about someone showing genuine interest and enthusiasm in their interests.

How to lean into this love style:

  • With family: Schedule time for uninterrupted bonding activities with your family at least once a week (or once a month if you live in different cities – you can do this over Zoom if you can’t physically get together). It could be a game night, family dinner or a trip to explore or see something new. 
  • With friends: The important thing is to spend uninterrupted time together so when you’re with your friends, put your phone away and focus on them.
  • With colleagues: Take the initiative to schedule coffee breaks and after-work activities to connect with colleagues who prefer the Activity love style. Learning more about them and how you can support them (and them you) will only help strengthen your networks and career.
  • With romantic partners: If you’re stuck in a rut in your relationship with your partner, take time to connect with them through activities that they enjoy, even if it’s not your idea of a good time! The motivation here is to focus exclusively on your partner and rediscover your bond – think surprise date nights that align with your partner’s hobbies and interests.

Appreciation Love Style: The Biggest Fan

For someone with the Appreciation love style, praise, compliments and verbal recognition are most important. This love style is all about using words to express love and care.

How to lean into this love style:

  • With family: Give your family members regular encouragement, remember to express your love and gratitude for them, and don’t be shy about sharing what you admire most about them. We often take family for granted, but we should never forget to express our appreciation for them.
  • With friends: How about texting your friend to let them know you’re thinking of them and what qualities you appreciate about them? You could also give them genuine compliments in person and post positive messages about them on social media – don’t forget to send a well-written, thoughtful birthday card.
  • With colleagues: Acknowledge your colleagues' efforts and accomplishments by thanking them, offering positive feedback, and sharing their achievements with other people in your team. Just a quick email can make all the difference.
  • With romantic partners: Help your partner feel seen and loved through your words. People with an Appreciation love style want to feel special and valued, so nurture this love style through compliments – you don’t have to write an epic love poem, but you should try to pepper in loving words of gratitude throughout the day.

Emotional Love Style: The Shoulder to Cry On

Someone with the Emotional love style is looking for people to connect with them through their emotions and be there during emotionally difficult times. The Emotional love style is all about building close emotional bonds.

How to lean into this love style:

  • With family: Stop and ask your family members how they’re feeling, really listen to their stories and experiences without judgment, and take the time to understand where they’re coming from. You'll need to look beyond the busyness of family life to truly connect with your loved ones.
  • With friends: It’s important to be there for your buddies through both the good and bad times. If you know your friend is going through difficult emotions, call, text, send voice messages and more. Show them that you’re there for them, even if you can’t see them face-to-face.
  • With colleagues: While it can be hard to build emotional connections with colleagues, try to make yourself available to your coworkers to listen, talk and offer support when needed. There's a balance of knowing when to push and when to pull back in personal conversations, however, so be mindful of overstepping. Listen before speaking and let your colleague decide how much they wish to share. 
  • With romantic partners: If your partner prefers the Emotional Love Style, you need to listen to them and share your feelings without holding back. Put down the phone, remove all distractions and pay close attention to your partner so you know what they’re feeling and how to show support. 

Financial: The Provider

People with the Financial love style enjoy giving and receiving love through financial acts like gifts, surprises and sharing financial resources to both support someone and show appreciation for them.

How to lean into this love style:

  • With family: You may already be on hand to offer financial support to a family member who is in need. But for someone with the Financial love style, you can also show you care by treating them to something special – it could be a surprise dinner, movie tickets, or an outing. This gesture shows them their importance, as well as your appreciation for them.
  • With friends: You may surprise your significant other with small, thoughtful presents that show you’ve been thinking of them, so why not do the same for your friends? It doesn’t have to be expensive – even a gift related to an inside joke or a simple token of your appreciation will show them you care.
  • With colleagues: While it’s hard (and potentially inappropriate) to show direct financial support to someone at work, just bringing someone a surprise coffee or a cupcake can mean a lot for colleagues with this love language.
  • With romantic partners: Listen to your partner to find out how best to show up for their financial love style – personal gifts that show you know what they like are far more meaningful than generic gifts. For example, if they seem stressed, you could offer to pay for an activity they’ve been wanting to do or cover the cost of a weekend away.

Intellectual: The Mental Match

If you enjoy connecting with people intellectually and look for intelligence and interesting discussions from the people in your life, you have an Intellectual love style. This love style focuses on finding a meeting of minds.

How to lean into this love style:

  • With family: Spark intellectual conversations with family members and engage them in discussions on topics that you know they’re interested in. If it feels like you're talking two different languages, look for new things to do together so you can all explore your curiosity to learn something new. You can also play mental games together to get the intellectual juices flowing! 
  • With friends: Show up for friends with this love style by investing time in an interesting debate, appreciating their opinions or simply listening to them when they need to get something off their chests.
  • With colleagues: Connect with Intellectual colleagues by bringing fresh ideas, opinions and perspectives to the table at work. Intellectual types will love it if you play devil’s advocate to advance your mutual thinking on a matter.
  • With romantic partners: Partners with an Intellectual love style love to connect through their intellect and want to feel valued for their intelligence, so invest time in discussing ideas and intellectual date night ideas like going to the theater, a lecture, or a museum.

Physical: The Snuggle Buddy

The Physical love style is centered on showing and receiving love through physical touch and physical intimacy. Remember – it can be both romantic and platonic.

How to lean into this love style:

  • With family: A big hug, linking arms or just a pat on the back can all show support and love to family members who value physical touch. If you’re watching a movie, you can snuggle up together.
  • With friends: Even if you’re not much of a hugger, making the effort to hug your friend when they’re going through a difficult time can mean the world to them, and bring you closer together.
  • With colleagues: Physical touch is a tough love style to express at work as you don't want to appear unprofessional or overstep boundaries. But a high five or a fist bump can be a simple way to show your appreciation for a colleague.
  • With romantic partners: Holding hands, cuddling and massages are all ways to show appreciation to a romantic partner with the physical love style – or why not take dance lessons together?

Practical: The Helping Hand

People with the Practical love style value someone helping them out and doing practical tasks to lighten their load. For people with the Practical love style, love is shown through acts of service like helping with chores, taking over certain tasks and generally going above and beyond for someone else.

How to lean into this love style:

  • With family: Offer to help your parents or siblings with everyday tasks and challenges like chores, running errands, or dropping them at the airport. Even the smallest tasks can make a big difference when it comes to speaking this love language. 
  • With friends: Help friends with difficult tasks like moving apartments and simple, small admin tasks you know they’ve been putting off. Offering to be the designated driver for a night out or offering to babysit when they’re busy can also show your support.
  • With colleagues: Practical help can have a significant impact on your work relationships, especially when coworkers are stressed or snowed under. When your colleagues are struggling, help out by taking a share of their tasks during busy periods, sharing responsibilities or offering support when they're facing deadlines.
  • With romantic partners: Identify the tasks your partner struggles with or hates the most and do it for them. It might be filling the dishwasher or filing taxes or anything in between. The important thing is that you go out of your way to make their life easier.
Elizabeth Harris
Elizabeth is a freelance writer and ghostwriter. She’s an anthropologist at heart and loves using social theory to get deeper into the topics she writes about. Born in the UK, Elizabeth has lived in Copenhagen, Frankfurt and Dubai before moving most recently to Budapest, Hungary. She’s an ENTJ with ENFJ leanings. Find out more about her work at