Which is the “Nicest” Enneagram Type? The Answer Might Surprise You…

When people are first learning the Enneagram, one of the questions they often ask is, “which is the nicest Enneagram type?” 

It’s a fair question, but when you study the Enneagram in depth, you quickly understand that every Enneagram type has unique strengths and weaknesses, and it is hard to nail down a "nicest" or "meanest" type. Each personality style leans into certain behaviors, thought patterns and emotions, and these can manifest in positive or negative ways depending on the individual and their level of self-awareness.

That being said, certain types may be perceived as more "pleasant" or "friendly" than others due to their particular traits and behaviors. Below we explore which Enneagram types are commonly seen as the "nicest" as well as their shadow side - and why what looks like “nice” behavior isn’t always the full story.

Type 2 - The Giver

Enneagram Type 2, also known as "The Giver," is often viewed as one of the nicest types due to their caring and empathetic nature. They are driven by a desire to be likable and may instinctively put the needs of others before their own. Skilled at sensing the emotions of others and providing support and comfort when needed, these are the big hearts of the Enneagram.

Research shows that people who score high in empathy, as many Type 2s do, are more likely to exhibit pro-social behavior and engage in acts of kindness towards others. One study found that empathy was positively correlated with altruism, volunteerism and charitable giving. Under this lens, it makes sense that Type 2s are often seen as kind and giving individuals.

The Shadow Side: While Type 2s might appear to be one of the nicest Enneagram types, it is also important to study motivation. Type 2s look to relationships to get their needs met. Unless they are operating from a high level of self-awareness, their “giving” nature masks a subconscious drive for appreciation, and they are often unconsciously giving with strings attached. The unspoken message is, “I’ll help you now, and you’ll feel grateful so that when I need help, you will help me.” With this perspective, the “nice” behavior attributed to Type 2s can have a more complex, less selfless hue.

Type 9 - The Peacemaker

Another Enneagram type commonly viewed as "nice" is Type 9, the Peacemaker. Type 9s are characterized by their easygoing and agreeable nature, as well as their desire to maintain harmony and avoid conflict. They often put the needs of others before their own, and they are skilled at seeing different perspectives.

Research has shown that agreeableness, a personality trait that is often associated with Type 9, is positively correlated with interpersonal relationships and better teamwork. This suggests that individuals who score high in agreeableness may be more skilled at resolving conflicts and maintaining positive relationships.

The Shadow Side: While Type 9s often appear agreeable, it can come at a cost. Unless they have developed the skill of engaging in healthy conflict, they can be passive-aggressive, saying “yes” when they mean “no,” and deny the reality of a situation. 

Type 7 - The Enthusiast

Type 7 is often seen as a friendly and fun-loving type, always seeking out new experiences and opportunities for excitement. They tend to be optimistic and upbeat, and their positive energy can be infectious and uplifting to others. This positivity, along with their inclusive attitude, can make them seem like one of the “nicest” types on the Enneagram.

Research has shown that positive emotions and optimism can have a number of benefits, including better mental health, stronger social support networks, and increased resilience in the face of adversity. Therefore, it's no surprise that Type 7s, with their natural enthusiasm and positivity, are often seen as enjoyable company.

The Shadow Side: While Type 7s are positive, optimistic people, they can be avoidant of negative events and emotions. They keep a positive attitude because it is threatening to feel negative emotions. They can become impatient with others who are in pain, and they can become avoidant in facing difficult situations. 

The Nicest Enneagram Type

So, if Type 2s, Type 9s, and Type 7s aren’t the nicest Enneagram type, who is? 

The answer is the most self-aware version of all the Enneagram types is the nicest. When operating from a place of high self-awareness and high self-mastery, every single Enneagram type has the capacity to be among the kindest, most compassionate people you will ever meet. Let’s take a look at each of the types when operating at their best.

The Enneagram Types When Highly Self-Aware

Type 1s become wise, discerning, accepting and compassionate. Realistic, humane and inspiring, they exercise good judgment in knowing when to take action and when to let things be as they are.

Type 2s become humble, altruistic, direct and pure. They share their gifts with the world and can offer unconditional love. They offer empathy, sincerity and generosity, and they strive to respond to others in a balanced way. 

Type 3s become self-accepting, authentic and real. Their image, inner world and reality align. Self-assured, effective, energetic and efficient, they go after their goals while remaining connected to their heart and the emotional world. 

Type 4s become healing, inspiring and regenerating as they harness their intense emotional energy in a positive way. Highly self-aware, self-reflective and balanced, they are sensitive to others, compassionate to themselves, and able to experience self-love. 

Type 5s strive not just for rational knowledge but also knowledge of the heart. They develop wisdom. They may be reserved but not isolationist, and they can share insights and stay engaged with others.

Type 6s become balanced and assess risks thoroughly and accurately. Loving, affectionate, endearing and appealing, they have trust, duty, and reliability as core traits. Their genuineness and caring touches others.

Type 7s are cheerful, lively, and vivacious, but they don’t feel driven to avoid negative feelings or situations. They feel profound appreciation, awe and delight in simple things and share this positive energy easily with others. Practical and productive, they can maintain focus and determination long enough to achieve their goals.

Type 8s become generous, magnanimous, restrained, wise and courageous. They can access vulnerability and share it when appropriate. They may leave a significant mark on the world. Honorable and just, they protect other people from injustice and unfair treatment.

Type 9s become autonomous, present to themselves, directed, clear and fulfilled. They become balanced in their relationships with others and are able to set clear boundaries. Their presence can be healing and harmonizing. 

In summary

The Enneagram is not a tool for comparison or judgment. It is a tool for compassion and greater understanding. Each Enneagram type has its strengths, weaknesses, and unique qualities. It is important to recognize and appreciate the diversity of the Enneagram types and to understand that no type is inherently better or worse than others.