The Enneagram Type 9, “The Peacemaker,” is a patient and understanding partner who seeks to truly understand their significant other and create a loving and harmonious relationship. However, the peace-loving Nine may sometimes forget that conflict is an important part of a relationship. They may avoid conflict altogether and instead resort to passive-aggressive behavior. Nines must learn to prioritize self-care and communicate their feelings effectively to thrive in their relationships with others.
Which Enneagram types are Nines the most compatible with? The answer isn’t so simple. Any type can be compatible with a Nine — and each type will experience their own joys and challenges within the relationship.
Read on to learn more about Enneagram Nine relationship compatibility with each of the nine types. Wondering what Enneagram type is your best match? Take our free Enneagram Compatibility test.
Enneagram Nine With Enneagram One
Type Nines with Type Ones take great satisfaction in loving others in the community as well as in giving generously to one another. Both of these body types give of themselves physically to others, often living with minimal attention to themselves. With an excess of stored energy in terms of their own needs, this pair does well to let go of stress together, to choose to intentionally serve the other, as well as to find a place and a routine for serving together. This causes their energy to release goodness, wisdom, strength, and peace into the world.
Their glow toward each other in the relationship is one of acceptance and grace just as they are, without trying to fix one another or hold passive aggression. If they do start to act passive-aggressively toward each other, they need to focus on clear and honest communication.
Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Two
Type Nine with Type Two is a pairing that often seems easy and endearing, with both partners being truly considerate of giving to the other in both obvious and covert ways. In terms of how they show up in the world together, these individuals create a warm environment of love and care for both their children and for friends and family.
The Nine, who is a bit more withdrawn, helps the Two to set boundaries in the areas of rest. Meanwhile, the Two’s thoughtful inclusion allows the Nine to show up bigger and to be seen and heralded as special. When they forget to communicate to one another in all their serving of one another and the world, they do well to learn the best styles of engagement.
Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Three
Enneagram Type Nines and Type Threes share a rare ability to dive deep into passion projects and a love of culture and style. They both possess a grounded and practical desire for fun and relaxation. This couple balances each other out, as the Nine desires peace and prefers to take things slow and the Three is often troubleshooting and focuses on solving problems quickly. However, the couple can get a lot of quality work done in a fun and efficient manner once they get moving. A difference is that work needs an element of fun and games for the Nine, while the Three loves the thrill of completing a task just for the achievement.
When the couple is aware of their needs as well as each other's, they can enjoy one another to the fullest by creating games and achievements together in their family, fun date nights, and in life as a whole. This couple likely enjoys spending a lot of time together and doesn’t tire of each other easily. It’s also a great pairing for working together or partnering on projects once they learn how to communicate effectively.
Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Four
When the Type Nine is in a relationship with a Type Four, the couple exemplifies the idealistic nature of the Four and the practical, relaxed qualities of the Nine. Because of their complementary characteristics, this couple is uniquely suited for a beautiful and interesting life together. Together, they each learn to take their time in their leisure and work pursuits, and they also allow each other the time to withdraw as needed. This balance allows them to enjoy playful fun when they’re rested and encourages a life of balance.
It’s a beautiful example of love as the Nine helps the Four shine brightly in the world, while the Four recognizes and celebrates the inherent worth of the Nine. When both types feel overwhelmed and exhausted by the feelings of the Four or the steady practicality of the Nine, they will need tools for effective communication.
Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Five
Type Nines and Type Fives both understand the mutual need for chemistry and connection, which is something that initially attracts them to each other. There’s a deep and respectful understanding between this healthy pair of withdrawing lovers. As they create a relationship and family together, the Five has a deep desire to scrutinize and research, while the Nine desires comfort, security, and to be seen and loved.
They often balance one another out quite naturally, as long as they turn towards one another for support, not just their internal worlds. They must attend not only to their practical needs but also to relationship needs, which is where communication help may be needed.
Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Six
Type Nines and Type Sixes have much in common: a love for chilling at home, a balanced routine and checking all the boxes at work so they can rest hard when it’s time to unwind. Although gifted at resting, this pairing can likewise get moving and down to business like none other when they hit their hardworking, creative place.
The Type Six offers the Type Nine courage to find their voice in the world, and the Type Nine likewise brings rest and relaxation to the often neurotic Six. Once the Six allows the Nine to grow independently and the Nine understands the logical steps the Six needs to take to find security, they vibe so well. For helping getting to this point, communication help is of essence.
Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Seven
The Type Nine and Type Seven couple understands the need for both rest and fun. This pairing is one of the most fun and playful combos, as the Type Nine helps relieve the Type Seven’s anxiety and resolves to stay with them through it, so long as the Seven can logically move forward.
Both positive in their outlook in general, the often dispassionate Nine feels championed for by the enthusiastic Seven. This helps the Nine to see the myriad of gifts they have as well as to stabilize the Seven so they too can shine in the world. When the Seven forgets to prioritize their relationship with the Nine, passive-aggressive resentment may build, immobilizing the freedom-loving Seven and creating a strong need for communication tools.
Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Eight
Type Nines and Type Eights love creative and innovative experiences. They enjoy their rest time together — trying new restaurants, traveling, taking care of pets and children, starting companies or working to top levels with ease that most without such energy cannot maintain. And, they combine their gifts to serve their community with passion, peace and action.
The fact that both members of this pairing are witty also creates a chemistry for long term excitement since the Eight enjoys trying to get a rise out of the wise and patient Nine. When their dreams for the relationship collide, they need to process logically and without withdrawing into their inner world and may need specific tools to improve communication.
Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Nine
The Type Nine couple glows in a beautiful light of understanding, consideration and fun. Many will never know the charming love between two Nines, which can be sweeter than fiction. Though they may not always feel comfortable sharing their innermost feelings, they often show their love to each other in acts of service, in consideration for the other’s likes and preferences, and in their unique sense of humor.
When their ideals clash, either partner, if not both, can become stubborn and passively resistant to change or decision-making. If this happens, the couple will need communication help.