Enneagram Type 4 Relationship Compatibility
Romantic and creative, the Enneagram Four, “The Individualist,” is a passionate and adoring partner, constantly seeking to express their love and make their partner feel special. However, they may have an idealistic view of their romantic partner and their life together. This paired with the Fours tendency to have low self-esteem can cause struggles in a relationship.
What Enneagram types are Fours the most compatible with? Fours can experience happy and fulfilling relationships with any of the nine Enneagram types. However, an understanding of each partner's strengths blind spots and communication style is essential to ensure relationship bliss.
Read on to learn more about Enneagram Four relationship compatibility with each of the nine types. Wondering what Enneagram type is your best match? Take our free Enneagram Compatibility test.
Enneagram Four with Enneagram One
Type Fours with Type Ones create a styled and exquisitely tasteful couple, as both take pains to go through life carefully and with detail. And yet, there’s passion, deeply committed ideals, and a body and heart connection. This couple exhibits a glow that is beautifully tailored, complete with each taking time for much-needed independence.
Ones and Fours share an appreciation both for aesthetics and functionality and enjoy and appreciate one another’s contributions to style and form. When black-and-white thinking takes over, however, and there is a lack of compromise, communication help is essential.
Enneagram Four with Enneagram Two
Type Fours with Type Twos bring a creative expression, passionate care and tender devotion to the world. This couple adores each other and enjoys doing what is right and beautiful in the world.
This pairing finds their “glow up” by finding a safe harbor together of collective dreams, passions and ethics. When they hit despair, they need to rely on getting into their bodies, showing love to others and paying close attention to their intuitive knowing of the others' needs. This kind of maturity in the relationship can make this pair have one of the closest bonds of all the types, but their anger can also rise up and cause conflict. Clear communication is essential to keep a balance and a lack of codependency.
Enneagram Four with Enneagram Three
When the confidence and boldness of the Three pairs with the romance and mystery of the Four, it creates a couple that inspires and enchants one another for a lifetime. This pair holds a mutual charm and adoration of one another. When they remember to give their partner the attention they both crave, this couple will not look away for their needs to be met. The Three will fight for the Four extremely hard even when the Four will not fight for themselves. Witty, fun and playful, the Three can bring the Four out of their brooding moods while the Four can remind the Three to slow down to appreciate life.
To find balance, it’s essential that this couple helps each other to identify how to get their self care so they don’t become codependent on one another, others, or work.
Enneagram Four with Enneagram Four
Type Fours with Type Fours often experience an intoxicating and ethereal initial attraction. As the relationship grows, there’s often a long-time enamoration and idealism in the couple, especially in whimsical or reflective moments.
When the world sees this idealism realized together, it reminds others of the beauty of true romantic love. With their enduring love, this couple depicts one of the most endearing relationship archetypes of all. However, if these types both withdraw into righteous indignation when their ideals aren’t met, or when another romantic ideal comes into play, communication is greatly needed.
Enneagram Four with Enneagram Five
Type Fours with Type Fives experience a quietly romantic type of love. The types in this couple share many introverted and patient personality traits. This couple understands each others’ need for personal time, as well as the need also for a deep, relational understanding. Thus, this pairing may sometimes disappear from society every once in a while to learn, grieve, and gain perspective — both alone and together.
The art and innovation that this pairing can create is beautiful. However, this couple can withdraw not only from others but each other, resulting in ignoring self care and relationship maintenance. When this occurs, the Four and Nine will need communication help to strengthen their bond.
Enneagram Four with Enneagram Six
A Type Four and Type Six couple exemplify a relationship full of emotional depth and security. Neither type is afraid to explore and analyze the relationship to make sure that they’re both at their best. They share a need for belonging to a community that understands, supports, and accepts them in unique and long-lasting ways. Together, they look out for their people first but also pride themselves on being judicious.
This couple can stop and let the world pass them by as they rest, lulled by the sweetness of connection and loyalty they experience in the comfort of each other. This pairing has a tendency to be reactive and emotional. So, when things get too intense, or they each begin to withdraw from the world too much, they will need communication help.
Enneagram Four with Enneagram Seven
Type Fours and Type Sevens shine together as colleagues, friends, and within romantic relationships. These two types will naturally withdraw for personal time as well as enjoy special moments together. They create a delightful and energetic glow in the world — where they often serve through the arts and/or helping fields. They are each idealistic and love to focus on future potential with compassion and joy.
As opposites of sorts, the Four and Seven create a dynamic combo. Both partners feel important in the relationship, and they often enjoy prioritizing time for spiritual and personal growth. This couple may struggle with the Four withdrawing or the Seven becoming too aggressive, in which case they will need communication help.
Enneagram Four with Enneagram Eight
Type Fours and Type Eights share a fierce desire for protecting their tribe, their values and their relationship. Because they can feel the hierarchical powers of the world, along with the occasional deep skepticism and rejection, finding love and support in one another is innate and necessary.
They will not only fight fiercely for what they believe in within the relationship with their varying ideals, but they will also fight to keep each other strong and healthy. Whether they’re being playful and fun or analytical and deep, they always strive to protect their unique intimacy and passion. Due to their many big emotions, they often need help learning to communicate in healthy ways.
Enneagram Four with Enneagram Nine
When the Type Four is in a relationship with a Type Nine, the couple exemplifies the idealistic nature of the Four and the practical, relaxed qualities of the Nine. Because of their complementary characteristics, this couple is uniquely suited for a beautiful and interesting life together. Together, they each learn to take their time in their leisure and work pursuits, and they also allow each other the time to withdraw as needed. This balance allows them to enjoy playful fun when they’re rested and encourages a life of balance.
It’s a beautiful example of love as the Nine helps the Four shine brightly in the world, while the Four recognizes and celebrates the inherent worth of the Nine. When both types feel overwhelmed and exhausted by the feelings of the Four or the steady practicality of the Nine, they will need tools for effective communication.
