In 1992, couples counselor Dr. Gary Chapman published The Five Love Languages. In his book, Chapman described five different ways in which we express and seek out love. They are:
Although new research indicates we may have an expanded range of modern love styles, one thing's still certain: we all experience love differently.
You might already know how you prefer to give and receive love (hint: I’m all about gifts). But have you ever wondered what love languages your favorite characters speak? If so, this article’s for you!
From Titanic to Harry Potter, here are some love language examples from films and TV.
Acts of Service
Hermione Granger, Harry Potter series, Mirabel Madrigal, Disney’s Encanto
We start with Hermione Granger, the brilliant wizard from the Harry Potter series. If you’ve watched the films, you’ll probably remember that Hermione’s friendship with Ron Weasley and Harry Potter begins when they save her from a troll. Hermione sees this act as a token of true friendship, and, from that moment onwards, the trio starts hanging together.
What’s more, Hermione is often the one doing thoughtful things for her friends. It’s her way of showing she cares and values their loyalty. From cutting Harry’s hair to leaving Hogwarts so she can help him hunt for horcruxes, she invests her time and skills to take care of others.
Another character who speaks the acts of service love language is Mirabel Madrigal, the protagonist of Disney’s animated movie Encanto. It’s clear from the beginning of the story that Mirabel is always prepared to unify people. All she wants is to figure out how to be of service to her family when she feels different—and often rejected—from them.
Jack and Rose, Titanic
There’s probably no two better love language examples of quality time than Jack and Rose from the movie Titanic. Sure, their relationship only lasts a couple of days. But how much life is lived in that amount of time?
As you’ll recall from the film, prior to meeting each other, Jack and Rose are both quite miserable. Jack is a poor orphan and Rose is trapped in a relationship with a man she doesn’t love. Enhanced by the tragic circumstances in which their brief relationship unfolds, Jack and Rose show love and affection by giving their undivided attention towards each other.
Many speculate that a future long-term relationship between these two wouldn’t go as smoothly as we’re made to believe. After all, they’re part of very different worlds. Still, the brief time that Jack and Rose spend together brings happiness—and a glimpse of hope—to their lives.
Molly Weasley, Harry Potter series
Hugger-in-chief Molly Weasley, from the Harry Potter franchise, is one who knows how to show love through physical touch. This is especially true in her treatment towards Harry, Ron’s best friend – someone whom she treats like a son soon after meeting him.
In fact, this loveable woman is always ready to comfort Harry with a hug, a cookie, or both. As an orphan, this disarming, loving attitude is important for Harry. After all, Molly demonstrates maternal love in a way he never experienced when living with the Dursleys.
Giving and Receiving Gifts
Emma Woodhouse, Jane Austen’s Emma and Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother
I thought about putting Emma Woodhouse under the acts of service section, but I believe her preferred love language is actually gift-giving. Throughout most of the film (I’m thinking of the 2020 adaptation here) we see that Emma is not only a devoted daughter but also a generous neighbor, always ready to hand out gifts to the residents of Highbury.
Whilst it is true that Emma’s attitude can be a vehicle for her to assert her social power within the Highbury community, our protagonist ends up distinguishing between self-interested gifts, and selfless ones. In fact, when words fail her, she turns to gifts. This is particularly evident when Emma insults Miss Bates during a picnic and comes to apologize the next day with a gift basket full of produce in hand.
A hopeless romantic (or a creep, you decide), Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother, is another character who has gift giving as their preferred love language. Remember, this is the guy who steals a French blue horn on his first date with Robin after she demonstrates some mild interest in the restaurant’s centerpiece!
Words of affirmation
Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls and Elizabeth Bennet, Austen’s Pride and Prejudice
Another Austen character, Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice is a classic example of someone whose primary love language is words of affirmation. If you remember the 2005 movie adaptation starring Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen, the couple meets for the first time at a ball. Here, Darcy manages to insult Lizzie by describing her to Mr. Bingley as “perfectly tolerable (…) but not handsome enough to tempt me.”
These words are really upsetting to Elizabeth because, when words of affirmation are your thing, you take mean and hurtful words to heart. She’s also charmed by Wickham’s pretty words of flattery, at least until she learns the truth about his past.
Lorelai Gilmore from Gilmore Girls is another character who shows love via words of affirmation. If you’re familiar with the show, you’ll know that the mother and daughter duo talk a lot, but it is Lorelai, in particular, that most demonstrates her affection with words.
She always has something encouraging to say, or a joke to tell, whenever her daughter Rory has a bad day. Ultimately, I believe Lorelai tries to give Rory the kind of verbal support she seeks from her own parents.
What’s your love style?
With which of these characters do you identify the most? Want to know more about how you express love? Truity's new Love Styles Test measures seven modern ways of showing and receiving love. Plus, the full report gives you insight into what to do to improve intimacy, communication, and fulfillment in your relationship.