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INTJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the INTJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the INTJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The INTJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between INTJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

INTJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the INTJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the INTJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the INTJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the INTJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

INTJs in Love

In relationships, the INTJ is loyal but independent. INTJs can be almost scientific in choosing a mate and make devoted partners once they have found a match that fits their rigorous list of requirements. They often have clear ideas about what makes for a solid relationship and are unwavering in their pursuit of this ideal.

INTJs often have a passion for self-improvement and are encouraging of their partners' goals and intellectual pursuits. However, they do not usually see the need for frivolous affection or romance, feeling that their devotion should be evident. They are more focused on serving their partners with hard work and resourceful problem-solving than they are on showering them with attention.

INTJs' partners often find them difficult to read, and indeed they do not show emotion easily; they find the process of discussing emotions much too messy and disorganized. They enjoy solving difficult problems, but are often out of their depth when it comes to illogical, unpredictable personal issues.

INTJs value a partner that allows them the independence to achieve their goals, and one who appreciates their efficacy, insight, and ability to offer creative solutions to problems.

INTJs as Parents

As parents, INTJs are devoted and supportive. They set firm limits and provide consistent reinforcement, but within that structure allow a lot of latitude for their children to explore their own interests and potential. They are encouraging of their childrens' intellectual pursuits and enthusiastic about sharing knowledge.

INTJs enjoy the process of developing a young mind, and get a lot of satisfaction from parenting. They want to develop productive, competent, and self-sufficient children who think for themselves.

INTJ Communication Style

INTJs are direct and detached in their communication. They often naturally see how something could be done better and usually communicate their criticism in a straightforward, logical manner. They are typically independent and calm; they are not so much concerned about being liked or appreciated as they are with being competent and thoughtful. Their communications are typically well thought-out, insightful, and strategic. They often plan well into the future and offer big-picture analysis for improving systems.

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Comments

steven a weber (not verified) says...

Since INTJ's are often known to view love differently than most, I thought I'd give my take on it as an INTJ: The ones that I've observed that are really big on stressing love, usually, largely neglect respect, ironically. To me, respect must be the foundation in a relationship, and any "icing" put on top of that is secondary at best -- this I'd refer to as love -- i.e. If a relationship has respect, can it be said to be deficient?

Anonymous intj (not verified) says...

On the subject of "god" and how truth and love supposebly cannot be together--this is wrong, or sort of. In the bible it says that god so loved the (key word) "world" which means he loved all of us equally. Now, the reason truth and love cannot be together for us is that it's biased--if we love one person more than another, then thats not supporting the truth. It essentially means that we "prefer" one person to another becuase of no good reasoning. That's not what it says in the bible. So, if what we think of love is not the truth, then what kind of love is it talking about in christianity? It's talking about moral love. Love that doesn't neccasarily have to be based off of feelings, but can be based of a scense of truth and decensy.

INTJ (not verified) says...

Eu sou cristão, e também acredito no amor plural. No entanto, apesar de concordar que amor e respeito não sejam a mesma coisa, acredito realmente que ambos são interdependentes, não existe um outro. E dizer a verdade não está vinculado à falta de respeito, a verdade é irrevogável, ou o que temos que atentar é com uma maneira que passa essa verdade, sei que é difícil tentar entender como algumas coisas podem ser usadas tanto por alguém, mas é isso que significa o amor, observar o outro e ESCOLHER levar em conta as suas necessidades, mesmo quando não tiver nenhum sentido (o que você sabe que é difícil).

joxterrdevil says...

bro shut up about god, he aint real.

 

Nicholas carriere (not verified) says...

God loved us all that is the difference you have and the truth is love and JC gave himself because of it but not all will go with him only those who repent and only then can salvation be yours  but it's more than that you must know the word and the word must become flesh and love should be at the center of a Christian heat those JC must be in your heart it will be the best thing you can ever know  

rriikkyy says...

a few years ago I tested as INTP, but now apparently I'm INTJ. Well, both then and now my Judging and Perceiving were about 50 50, so I guess they're just in balance? Anyway, I majored in Architecture and it seems like it's a good career path for both INTPs and INTJs. :) 

Oof (not verified) says...

Yeah me too. I was a INTP like, 2 years ago and now I am an INTJ. My perception and judging were almost the same too soo guess we are the same.  

Byron (not verified) says...

Same here, trusted career advisor calls me INTX because of it. :)

Tibi (not verified) says...

The exact same thing happened to me.

grace livings (not verified) says...

wow 

fastguitars (not verified) says...

Just don't marry one.

INTJ's dont love.

They do not love.  They don't even understand why you should.

Jedrick (not verified) says...

Well, kind of, very logical and highly rational, akin to a robot which is devoid of human emotion.

steven a weber (not verified) says...

they can feel and be kind and considerate and empathetic, but being thoroughly analytical, they can't rationalize the concept of love -- it ends up no more than a glorified word for need, albeit likely extreme need

Heather H. (not verified) says...

I am an INTJ and I feel love very deeply.

Infinite eternal (not verified) says...

Well I'm thankful me and you are in the same page. Besides if anyone really wants to know who they truely are they'd have to spend years observi themselves...they'd find more about themselves through self observation than they ever would through a Myers Briggs test. You're unique, and the only person who's gonna know you better than anyone else is you and god...

bluenilufer (not verified) says...

INTJs love so deeply that it hurts when betrayed. That is why INTJs protect from sick egos, psychos and narcissistic by slamming the door at them all. Better alone than in a lousy company...

Stark (not verified) says...

Love is shown by not destroying others when we could.

INTJ Mel (not verified) says...

Verdade 

Xena (not verified) says...

This is a fact. 

slowrifts (not verified) says...

We do love.

Love isn't an understanding; it's a feeling.

Do they feel loved?

Do you?

William Jefferson (not verified) says...

Just because you had a terrible experience with one of them, doesn't mean all of us are like that. And the stereotype that describes us on this site isn't always spot on. 

I feel lots. There's no other way to describe it. I have family and a few friends that I am very open with, and they see a side of me that many do not. Most of the time I am relatively stoic. I say relatively as there are times where the masks breaks, due to an incredible joke or a tearjerking movie (was balling at 1917, but my friends don't know that). Sometimes I get angry, but generally regret it afterwords. I will say that some do get caught up in what I call "INTJ-ness," wherein they forget that they don't have to act exactly like an INTJ. They forget to be themselves, based on their own internal excuses. I used to be like that too, and it still happens from time to time, so I understand it.

There are qualities I'm drawn to. Most of which, is Endurance. Some people, especially some of the other INTJ folk think that intelligence makes one a king, but I argue that in order to become a king one has to go through a lot. If I see that quality in someone, this fierce determination, that's what makes me feel attracted to them. The other is Loyalty. I'm deathly loyal, if my sibling were in danger I would jump in front of a bullet to save them. I love them so damn much. Probably more than they know. One of my friends is in China right now, as his family is over there. I'm very worried about him, have been feeding him advice here and there about what to do, even if he only gets on VPN here or there. Another is trying to change his life for the better, and I'm gonna be the one that supports him, and if he falls, try to help him find another route. So yes, we understand love. We understand this need to protect. We understand Endurance and Loyalty.

Despite this, I have been betrayed many times, and so I hurt a little on the inside whenever I remember people I thought I was close too, or were my friends... but, I have to keep going. Life won't wait for sorrow. 

If you want to see an emotional INTJ, watch him listen to his favorite song or do his favorite thing. The mask will break quite often.

zckERRIE (not verified) says...

Yes, this is very much true, we do were masks. The reason i wear one is due to the fact that most people will berade a person if the person show's that it has power of them - and that can go with any aspect, even love. Throughout my life, i've been a very, very, open person, and in return people have used that honesty against me. That rational thing to do is to test whether a person will use that against someone, or not - the rational thing to do is to put out there an alternate opinion or reaction that would help determine how a person would be, or better yet, as the person said above become "stoic." Where intj's recognoze emotion as somthing that is maufactured by the human brain, we tend to not jump to the conclusion that we should act on that emotion at a drop of a dime. We all dont realize that, we tend to avoid the emotion all together, but not all. Any intj that is true to the intj trademark understands that emotions cant be escaped - per most personalities dwell with them and in return project them - thusly, we must learn to deal with them. Most intj's will be cold and distant, others will be reclused, but some, and i mean some, have, indeed focued on their weaknesses meantioned above and are opperating at a higher level. Me myself, i have a list of responses i must remember to keep a convo going when someone is in an emotional state. The idea of empathy isnt totally foreigh, although, i dont really "feel" what the other person is "feeling" but i can recognize the sorrow in it and in return i have to put on a mask and that recipreocates.

Brian (not verified) says...

Thanks for sharing William.  My son did the MBPT recently and told me is an INTJ so I read the personality overview and your comment and it really helped give me some insight into who he is. My son is 16, we have a good relationship but I'm constantly trying to crack the wall he has up.  At the end of the day, I just want him to be happy and I do on occasion get to see through the cracks when he bursts out-loud laughing when watching Game Theorist on Youtube... So thank you for sharing.    

Mike995 (not verified) says...

Hey Brian,
Just wanted to reply as I saw myself in your son. I am an INTJ and when I was in my teenage years, I put on a lot of walls & wear a lot of masks due to things that happened to me in my childhood. My mum tried to break through those walls the best that she could, but honestly she couldn't do much. I had a couple of friends, the rest of the world pretty much made no sense to me. I was way to grown up for my age, so all of the peers appeared childish. I felt weird, like there was something wrong with me. I was generally unhappy, depressed at times.
Anyway, I slowly realized this isn't going to work. In order to live 80 or so years on this earth, I would have to change something. So I started thinking about my emotions. Often, alcohol & music was involved as it helped me think & feel at the same time. So just grabbing a beer, listening to some music, laying in bed, thinking. (Mum was panicking because of alcohol at this point as this isn't how you should solve your problems:) Slowly I started realizing that I am who I am & there is nothing wrong with that. I had to work through some issues, but doing so helped me feel better about myself. The real breahthrough happened when I was about 25 and started a business career and had to constantly go out of my comfort zone. It was nerve wrecking as F, but I felt better with every obstacle I passed. I am now a very very happy 30-year old man. In a loving relationship, a job that challenges my intellect and I just love life. Yes, I am still weird at parties and fairly indifferent about 90% of things people normally care about, but I wouldn't change who I am.
I do not know you or your son, but what helped me the most was seeing my mother care & the fact that she showed me that no matter what happens, she will always be there for me. So I guess that's my advice. Show him that you will be there for him, but let him do his thing at his own pace:)

Cheers

Aide Rose (not verified) says...

Very well said. I couldn't agree with you more. 

Grace livings (not verified) says...

grace😐😎🥺😘🙁🧜🤣🙃🤩🤗🧐🤬🧙🤪

 

John Taylor (not verified) says...

We love certain types of people, you're likely not one of those types.

INTJJJJJJ (not verified) says...

This is the most INTJ response in this board. 

Golden (not verified) says...

That's not fair to generalize about all female INTJ's.  We may desire to love and be loved as much as everyone else but may be more guarded. Being an intovert may cause us to have lower self-esteem and the feeling that we don't deserve to be loved. We also may pride ourselves on our independence.

Ballads (not verified) says...

Not true, they are actually super sensitive to emotions and don't always understand them. They can be the most loyal loves of ones life.

INTJposterchild (not verified) says...

Read wider... please... read beyond your own emotions... open your mind to other WAYS love can be expressed... beyond gushing confessions of undying love and clingy obssession.

INTJs love.

IntjMasterRace (not verified) says...

That's not true, we do love. We do feel emotions. We have the ability to look at them objectivly but we are still humans. We have a hard time expressing our emotions but we do care.

grace livings (not verified) says...

omg wow I can be a surgeon

EventHorizon (not verified) says...

Yeah so Hillary Clinton?  Anything but an intj.

INTJEnthusiast (not verified) says...

Aaaagreed 👍🏽

Twenty-something INTJ Female (not verified) says...

This description is completely me to a tee, but hilariously, most people never see this side of me because of years of navigating social expectations and figuring out social "rules" and deciding which ones it would be more beneficial to abide by, and which ones aren't. I've always been a bit of the "out there" artist type who loves to figure out how things work, but for years I told myself I wasn't good at math and science (which, turned out to be untrue). I always had a hard time coming off as adequately "warm" enough and socializing growing up because of the seemingly endless patience and compassion women are often expected to convey as a societal norm. I've always been intensely introverted, but driven enough to know that if I wanted my ideas to get anywhere, especially as a woman, I would need to work on social intelligence enought to be liked an listened to. I eventually taught myself to present in public as more outgoing and talkative, even if it was draining and I worked hard at it. I got really into communication theory in college because I loved figuring out why some behaviors and patterns of communication were more successful than others. Communicating with others started to make so much more sense when I broke down the reasons why some strategies work better than others in communicating ideas, networking, and general interaction. Now I can strike up a conversation with a brick wall and make someone laugh within a minute of introducing myself. It's happened enough by now that I've had friends and classmates comment about wishing they could be more outspoken and a better public speaker like me, which always took me off guard. The truth is, it is and always has been incredibly difficult, but being an INTJ and using the same strategies other INTJ's do to become experts in whatever they're personally drawn to, I've been able to present a very different image of myself to the world than what's actually going on in my head. In my own case, in public I come off as more maybe an ENFJ, which can be equal parts helpful and annoying, since people assume I care a lot more about feelings and chatting about people's lives than I do. However, the plus side is that I whenever I pick up on another INTJ or similar personality every once in a while, we really click, and I can help them with the communication side when it comes to explaining complex ideas to the right people, in the right way.

Long story short, I love being a nerd translator and I'm the biggest closet nerd you'll meet.

another intj female (not verified) says...

Yes! I'm doing something similar right now, as I figured out (same as you) that most people work differently. They want emotional support and not solutions (what?! why?! isn't Sheldon's "there there" enough :D), they want chitchat (heavy, massive, gigantic, gargantuan eye roll), and most often than not they are a P; even if they are a J it's a weak one :D. But if I want to get something done I need to work with those people. Ever since I learned about MBPT I'm playing this game in my head where I'm like you are an ESFJ, you are an ISTP, etc so that I know how they work, what they want and if/how we can be mutually beneficial

Arne (not verified) says...

Amazing comment, I really relate to your story. Thank you for writing this. 

EventHorizon (not verified) says...

I like your description.  I failed algebra in High School and always figured out how to do just enough to pass other classes.  I thought I was stupid because my mind was always on other things..   Then when I got out and went to college a few years later by my own choice, I got all As and a few B+'s including advanced Algebra.

I really like my mind because I understand it better than I think most people understand themselves in general.  But the curse of it is, personal relationships.  Ill die alone I think.  Maybe another life will produce something more.

Somebody (not verified) says...

You have a high standard. You told your self that you are not good at math but actually you are better than most of people right? I know that you do care about people's life just not the way they are expected especialy... you are not a good listenner. 

Julian Ponce (not verified) says...

For real INTJ people felt this in there heart knew this wasnt made up, if this artical dosent discribe you to a T, YOU ARE NOT A TRUE INTJ.

Troy W (not verified) says...

I didn't feel it in my heart. I thought it to be logical. 

Woody1967 (not verified) says...

I hate to be cynical, or perhaps not, but you are not a true INTJ if you consistently misspell words and improperly use words like saying "your" when you mean "you're".

RBP (not verified) says...

More than likely, the poster is an ELL, or English language learner. I'm an educator  and see this type of writing  on a daily basis. Don't be so quick to judge.

Bunny (not verified) says...

HAHAHA! OMG. My thoughts exactly! :D

Julian Ponce (not verified) says...

I took the test 3x because each time I thought of Different answers each time I was putting my past to much in perspective answering the test questions,but I don't think you should put too far of a past in perspective when taking this personality test by the 3rd time I realized to answer the questions based on who I am at the current moment or what I've become in the time frame of over a year to answer the questions and not to reflect too much on past reactions because we are who we are and who we once were we will never be... if your a true intj,🙇🏾‍♂️ point i was trying to make is, 3x i took the test injt was top2 all 3x but i didnt want it, i wanted something rarer but it stuck to me call it god but this artical helped me be feel understood for once and told me consious truths that came to life through another persons words

errrrrr (not verified) says...

im ready for a new personality type. this is just ruining my life lol and the description is really overly smug for this personality type. its too accurate and too lonely.

steven a weber (not verified) says...

After reading the comments of fellow INTJ's, I find numerous startling similarities often regarding uncommon traits, yet see how we are all shaped by numerous factors: some genetic,environmental, organic, etc. And it wouldn't surprise me if one's type is genetic: I see this type to a good extent in my father and son. Also there are obvious degrees involved in each individual. I'm likely not your average INTJ in some distinct ways: I'm a virtual misanthrope. I despise convention, tradition, formalities, pomp, Guru's(or other revered individuals), mainstream mentality, and so much more that passes as socially acceptable. Ironically people can mistake me as gregarious at times--moods and energy play a part in this. I feel myself a fish out of water here and have since childhood. I rarely identify with another on deep issues. I've virtually given up trying to meet a partner after living almost 40 yrs alone(was married 10 yrs happily) and prefer to live alone at this point. Life seems an absurd and cruel joke and given another shot at it, I'd pass. It's likely obvious now how I differ from many INTJ's, though I acknowledge our undeniable(and often uncommon) similar traits. Spending so much time alone and in my head has undoubtedly made me a bit extreme in my perspective. Last, but not least, I'm a militant minimalist: it permeates every aspect of my life: less is better, to the extreme good in nothingness. Conversely, "Somethingness" or the world as we know it, detracts from it. Do I care what anyone thinks of all of this? I think that you know the answer to this, but I am curious how this strikes other INTJ,s. 

ChillMusicianDad (not verified) says...

I have been alone my entire life. I would not be surprised if I was told I was the first human alien Hybrid because that is more plausible than being related to these creatures that can wash their pain away and put on a happy face around others. We should not have to change ourselves to fit into their square hole. That is what i want to know, Are we the first intj`s? I don`t think so. Have these "humans" ever given a minute to changing for us? 

Sweet Pea (not verified) says...

Others have expressed the same regarding life: Jack London wrote, " Life lies so as to live" and "Life is a perpetual lie telling process". And regarding it's "purpose", he wrote(in a conversation with the "noseless one"), "...certainly it was not all in vain?!"to which the noseless one responded, " It was all based on a lie", Jack replying, "But it was a vital lie!", to which the noseless one retorted,"And what is a "vital lie" but a lie?!"[ Re: John Barleycorn,circa 1913]. Tolstoy expressed a similar sentiment,"One can only live when life intoxicates them-- once they are sober they cannot help but see that it is all a stupid and cruel joke". And Henry Miller, "Life is a cosmic joke"...the joke is on those who love and validate life(correctly spelled, lief--since it is based on the root word "lie"!). I hope that you find this edifying

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