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INTJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the INTJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the INTJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The INTJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between INTJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

INTJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the INTJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the INTJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the INTJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the INTJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

INTJs in Love

In relationships, the INTJ is loyal but independent. INTJs can be almost scientific in choosing a mate and make devoted partners once they have found a match that fits their rigorous list of requirements. They often have clear ideas about what makes for a solid relationship and are unwavering in their pursuit of this ideal.

INTJs often have a passion for self-improvement and are encouraging of their partners' goals and intellectual pursuits. However, they do not usually see the need for frivolous affection or romance, feeling that their devotion should be evident. They are more focused on serving their partners with hard work and resourceful problem-solving than they are on showering them with attention.

INTJs' partners often find them difficult to read, and indeed they do not show emotion easily; they find the process of discussing emotions much too messy and disorganized. They enjoy solving difficult problems, but are often out of their depth when it comes to illogical, unpredictable personal issues.

INTJs value a partner that allows them the independence to achieve their goals, and one who appreciates their efficacy, insight, and ability to offer creative solutions to problems.

INTJs as Parents

As parents, INTJs are devoted and supportive. They set firm limits and provide consistent reinforcement, but within that structure allow a lot of latitude for their children to explore their own interests and potential. They are encouraging of their childrens' intellectual pursuits and enthusiastic about sharing knowledge.

INTJs enjoy the process of developing a young mind, and get a lot of satisfaction from parenting. They want to develop productive, competent, and self-sufficient children who think for themselves.

INTJ Communication Style

INTJs are direct and detached in their communication. They often naturally see how something could be done better and usually communicate their criticism in a straightforward, logical manner. They are typically independent and calm; they are not so much concerned about being liked or appreciated as they are with being competent and thoughtful. Their communications are typically well thought-out, insightful, and strategic. They often plan well into the future and offer big-picture analysis for improving systems.

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Comments

Guest (not verified) says...

Perfect!.. This describes me 100%! :)

Guest (not verified) says...

so true

Guest (not verified) says...

I agree.... I was scared when I saw how accurate this was

Guest (not verified) says...

Me too! I read this and thought: This person I've never met knows me better than I know myself. When I read INTJ stuff in general, I feel like I am reading my own biography, written by a psychologist who downloaded my brain to their own.

female intj (not verified) says...

Precisely this! I was reading this description and seeing things that I myself have written out in the past typed in the words of another.

I personally am an artist(music and traditional and digital art) as well as an aspiring fashion designer. It's rather interesting now studying how my INTJ personality handles this. None of these professions were on either list, well, graphic designer was but that's much more logo and less Van Gogh.

a 1% INTJ (not verified) says...

I am a writer and musician and even though I'm really successful in those fields, I am most definitely an INTJ, even though it doesn't entirely match up with my personality. I think sometimes it's just up to talent. If you're talented at something, you'll try your best to excel at it. Perhaps it feeds on the determination part of the personality.

Alpha Prime (not verified) says...

It is just logical to use your natural talents in the most efficient way! Cheers for the INTJ community!

Adam Voltaire (not verified) says...

Hi, I've been looking for a successful INTJ in music to guide me coz I've been stuck for some time now not knowing where to direct my life. I started writing music in high school about 7 yrs ago while at the same time being a student leader for 3 yrs until I finished. I had a great balance to my life back then. Things went sideways after high school, my family broke apart, I dropped out of campus, now i'm stuck bcoz do I choose my talent (music just completes me I'm happy whenever I compose something) and pursue it fully or do I choose a white collar profession (I love business as a discipline and if I use my strategic mind I can probably make a career out of it).. being an INTJ you know the small matter of perfectionism. I don't want to make the wrong choice and waste all my potential for a great life of achievement. Please advise. Thanks.

Your INTJ Mama (not verified) says...

When I read your post, I cried inside. Don't sacrifice your first love for a money making career like I did. As I near 50, I have a distinguished high tech career on my resume and really had a blast, but it wasn't until I retired early and picked my camera back up that I felt my soul sing again. Money is nice, but it isn't the be all end all. What this article is missing is the connection of the INTJ to music and writing. It's there - just look at the comments :)

MGW (not verified) says...

..................................thats very easy to say from a postion of nice money. 

 

Thats coming from a 52 year old, with nice money. 

Heather McCarroll (not verified) says...

GO for what makes you happy.. I would go for the music. I am a women INTJ and have a music degree. I dont go a day without my music. If you dont use your creativity you will be unhappy. There is not alot of information out there but a little of the creative side of the INTJ. Most articles think we should be scientist or in the legal field.

Maybe you could conbine the both music and business if that is your calling.

. (not verified) says...

I don't believe this needs to be an either/or issue, though I understand why this may often feel like it is the case. As an INTJ I choose to see my varied and wide interests as something that enables me to think differently to many people in my white collar profession. It is possible to embrace both your love of music and a future in a white collar profession, maybe in parallel, maybe in series, maybe in an integrated way, or maybe in a flexible way that may see you do all three at various times and to varying degrees. My advice is to combat perfectionism by setting clear goals in both music and business that can be broken down into discrete actions. The key is to make progress, and to expect that you will reassess and revise your goals as you go. 

Thefathomtree.com (not verified) says...

I’m 39.   I chased music a really long time and I will say this..... In this day and age you have to really love playing live and really love a van and sweating and giving your music away for free online and just plain misery .......to sort of make it all while still having a gig between the tours.  

 

So... if you just like composing and can become a self contained producer of musical pieces then I would approach it like this...

 

find something else to do as a job, something that gives you money for musical toys and recording equipment and free time to create and make the music you want to make and live happily ever after.  

Devin Lopez (not verified) says...

Be a musicians. Other wise you will constantly feel the what if. If your afraid of failing, be afraid and then do it anyways. Collar jobs will be there, but talent fades. Ride the sun into tomorrow. 

tommy rottler (not verified) says...

i agree , writer and musician as well ...intj helps qith the writing and internally convinced myself self taught music.... dont like to dwell in others input much which kinda hurts that 

Melissa Ann Lambert (not verified) says...

I'm a female INTJ too - former computer programmer now artist specializing in digital art. Feel free to email me!

brewall131 says...

Hi Melissa, I'm also a female INTJ currently working on teaching myself programming and trying to figure out how to turn this into a position that I would enjoy. I would love to talk to you if you'd be open to it! 

Regine Arnold (not verified) says...

Brewall and Melissa, 

Would love to connect. I am also a woman INTJ. I have a past in corporate marketing/ digital marketing. I also have my own small business health coaching. And working on going back to school for human systems engineering, which is largely about computer engineering and psychology. Plus, I'm a video game nerd. I literally felt like the only female INTJ left in the world until I saw your comments. Haha Only a handful of us out there. Let's get to know each other! :)

Frank Wang (not verified) says...

Would love to connect with all of you as well! A male INTJ here. Graduated with a Master of Molecular Biology, studying Software Engineering, and learning game development on the side. All the other comments were at least 1-year old so it's nice to see recent people who are still trying to connect.

Daniel O. (not verified) says...

I am also INTJ and a molecular biologist! 

Guest (not verified) says...

I’d like to connect with you due to your background. 

Jonas (not verified) says...

Hi! I'd like to know more about you too since I'm also a INTJ and I feel like I don't really have any friends who are of my personality. Hope to hear from you!

Olivia_K (not verified) says...

Hi Regine, 

I'm an Intj female currently in an undergraduate BBA program. I'd love to connect with you to hear about your experiences in the corporate world as an INTJ as I'm having doubts about whether Business is the right fit for me!  

Sergio (not verified) says...

Business career can very rewarding or frustrating,  depending how strong the I in INTJ is with you.

I am not extremely introverted myself,  so I like being sorounded by peopele.  But,  unfortunately you can't always choose a team and you will probably often times get frustrated by other team members who like to chit-chat more then do the real work (thinking hard is also real work,  although chit-chatters might not think so).

Basically,  in business you get to solve complex problems every day.  Just stick to some more technical field of business,  like business analyst,  project or product manager,  and try to avoid marketing (meaning PR and communications).

Cheers

Busy-Bea (not verified) says...

Krikey Regine!  I read your post and was like what what?!  I'm in marketing, background in film/video production and seriously considering going back to school - but for history or anthropology or sociology.  Human systems.  Oh and was a personal trainer years ago and have been contemplating wellness coaching.  Ha! 

Ladies - we should connect!  Sorry is has been a @ a year since you all have posted!

ClaireK (not verified) says...

Hello, fellow INTJ women. Typing with a sleeping baby in my lap, so have mercy on my spelling and punctuation 😉

Knowing about these types has changed my life! I wish I had been able to experience the validation when I was a younger woman. I am def an INTJ, but feel I am an odd one because I am religious and care a lot about home and family life. I love to learn constantly and I share that with my children; I homeschool them because I am sure I can do a better job, and I like to be with my kids. I use my drive to improve systems and to fulfill potential in my home and family life. This works well, because my husband is an ENTP and is so extraverted, fast moving and big picture, he lets me run things the way I want! My struggle is to keep pursuing order and to get alone time in my large family. I also tend to pursue things I am interested in and gain a level of expretise, but I don't turn any of this into anything income building, because I don't like to promote myself, and I  don't want to feel awkward about promoting myself in my social network. INTJs, any thoughts for me?

Ann Red (not verified) says...

Fellow INTJ woman and we are in our first year of homeschooling as we felt we could also do a better job (grades 5/7).  So interesting reading your comment as my husband has typed as INTP (although he thinks he's on the line as an ENTP).

I googled career types for INTJ's and landed on this site as I'm feeling the push to do more with myself but am not sure which field is best suited for me as past experiences have landed me in toxic work environments with unmotivated co-workers.  I really want to work with driven people who want to collaborate instead of compete so I figured I'd look where the INTJ's are and narrow down my options from there.  My passion lies with analyzing processes/procedures and then streamlining/organizing to increase productivity.

Self promotion isn't my thing either although I feel that's the way of our world now.  How old are your kids?  Have you homeschooled from the beginning?

ClaireK (not verified) says...

Hi Ann,

Hope you are enjoying homeschooling. It is super challenging to balance, and there is a temptation to over plan and to over critique ourselves. But I find it so very rewarding. My oldest is sixteen, I homeschooled her through sixth grade. Now we send her to a 7-12 school in our town that is excellent. I still have five children at home, so I will be doing this for a while! My main goal is to cover the basics, while giving as much freedom as I can and keeping the kids' natural sense of wonder alive. They also do a lot of helping with siblings and helping around the house and yard. In terms of employment, it would be so wonderful for you to find the right fit, in an employer who wants someone with your skills, in a positive work environmant. It is crazy how often I hear about supervisors who are threatened by competent people! I would think a fast-changing industry would be a good place to look for an attitude of growth? I learned a lot when I was listening to a podcast called Radical Candor, about communication in the workplace and how to be a good manager. Best wishes!

ElisaC (not verified) says...

Hi Claire,

You remind me of my younger self, when my priority was raising my two daughters.  Being a mother, investing and shaping two lives has been a most rewarding experience and privilege, despite all the challenges of raising children and grind of daily living.  My role has evolved over the past few years into friend, coach and mentor, as we share from the trivial to deep questions of life.  I encourage you to keep on investing into your children, as you appear to be filled with love and passion for your current purpose in motherhood!

ClaireK (not verified) says...

Elisa, Thank you for that very encouraging message! It occasionally seems funny to me to be the "criminal mastermind" type and spending all my talents at home. But nothing seems more crucial to me than teaching, training, mentoring and loving other human beings. I love getting to know them and trying to help them grapple with life and learn what their talents and passions are. I hope to support them in a way that enables them to find their purpose. Thanks again.

ElisaC (not verified) says...

Hi Claire,

You are welcome!  I have a suggestion... while you're at home, you can expand your mastermind (dropped the "crimminal" :)) in your areas of interest.  Over the past couple of years, I have become interested in the Financial Independence Retire Early (FIRE) community and have been reading a lot of blogs, such as Mr. Money Mustache.  This past year, it extended into investing and I followed a blog investment workshop (Millenial Revolution) and have been reading a lot on this subject.  Lately, I have been immersed in Dr. Jordan Peterson's youtube channel on The Psychological Significance of the Biblical Stories, having been interested in psychology since my university days and currently attend Bible studies.  There is so much to learn and free resources available online; my education is just starting!  What are your areas of interest and thoughts on this?  I encourage you to also invest in yourself!

Discovery13 (not verified) says...

Hmmm. What can I say that hasn't already been said. Shocked is an understatement when I did the test, emphatically accurate!🤔

Autocorrect description of mua!

I wonder what more?

Cristal (not verified) says...

Hi Elisa and INTJ Girls,

( please forgive my grammar , my first language is not english ) I related to your comment because as a mom in my 30's I am finding myself struggling between been the best mom ever and figuring out my career life - and I mean Struggling. As you evolved with time, did you find happiness and a feeling of accomplishment?  It is nice reading to all your comments and realizing I am not the only one. Best Wishes!

 

ElisaC (not verified) says...

Hi Cristal,

I am sorry to hear that you are really struggling.  If I may, I'd like to pose some questions for you to ponder - What is your most important goal in life?  What gives you meaning?  When my first child was 7 months old, I had a full time nanny take care of her, while I worked full time for 3 months.  It was a most difficult time, knowing that I wanted to be the person raising her, but the nanny spent the majority of  the day with her.  Therefore, I took on a part time position that effectively was a demotion.  This also wasn't easy at first; I had to ask myself what my higher priority was throughout the past 20 years.  I have had to chose over and over again.  Fast forward to today, I am still working part time.  Looking back, I would choose the same course, because the relationships I have with my 2 children are rewarding and most meaningful in my life thus far.  Also, what has given me more clarity is to think about what would matter at the end of my life, what more would I have wished for, any regrets?  Hope this helps!

NatD says...

The ladies in this thread who are homeschooling and/or mothering, all with INTJ personalities... Hi there. I just breathed a sigh of relief to find you all, as I'm relating with almost all of what has been said here. My husband and I homeschool our 4 children, and I can say honestly it has been a big challenge for me. I have often felt so alone in how I view or carry out our homeschool due to my personality that it makes for some dark days and doubting. Some days there is fulfillment in knowing we're giving them the best we can. But, there are days when I feel the opposite for all parties invovled (myself included!). It has been helpful to read the last comment from Elisa about keeping things into perspective... will we regret keeping them home, fulfilling what they need to learn, but giving them that extra time to be free in and of themselves, all within the maximum time as a family together? We all must evaluate such weighty questions with our own lives and families, and they are worth pondering. Thank you all for being open and honest. I wish we could all have a facebook group together. Know that this thread has been an answer to prayer from frustration as I'm contemplating whether to continue homeschooling next year or not. Best wishes to you all in your endeavors, fellow INTJ women. (*flexes arm with peace sign*)

ElisaC (not verified) says...

Hello,

I have set up "Fellow INTJ Women" in FB Group and invite you gals to connect, just message and say from Truity.  Thanks for your suggestion NatD!

Ashley (not verified) says...

I struggle with this as well. I’ve always had interest in the legal field. Since becoming a mom to my one year old daughter I tend to dedicate all of my time on her, have put off leaving her because I simply don’t think anyone can take care of her the way I would and I’d rather do it all myself. Since recently becoming a single mom late last year I decided to become a certified paralegal. This way I’ll be doing something that interests me and is in law and hopefully will hold my attention from wondering what’s going on with my daughter while I’m away at work. I know it’s I’mp for me to really be interested and challenged in my work because I’ve left quite a few jobs in the past because I refused to continue on a career path that I hated walking into each day. I’m 31 and me being the Intj personality makes so much sense and brings me so much clarity. I’m not an emotional woman, I absolutely have to have my alone time, which I don’t get as much with my daughter but I don’t mind that, I’ve never been comfortable in social settings or with people I don’t know and I’m extremely private, possibly to a fault. My paralegal instructor advised our class to take this test and I’m so glad as it has brought so much into perspective for me. Glad to hear stories of other women like me and know I’m not alone! 

Bakerp (not verified) says...

Aren’t we all odd though? Based on our personality types and the rarity of finding one of us in the general population it is safe to say that we believe ourselves to be odd because we do not encounter many people like ourselves. Thus based on our understanding of regular society we consider ourselves to be odd.

Cheers, Bakerp

NeilH (not verified) says...

Absolutely.  I had never encountered anyone quite like myself in 50 years, which caused me to think that I was unique until I discovered INTJ-A and its meaning. True to type but with a better understanding of how I fit into the overall scheme of things, I still consider myself to be blessed with a rare gift.

Donna Violet (not verified) says...

Hi Claire - I'm INTJ, small business owner.  I fit all the INTJ descriptions, but I too am Christian and have valued raising my family and spending time with my kids.  I also volunteer at church and in my community.  Your pursuit of order is admirable, but don't take yourself too seriously!  Order and lots of kids is close to impossible.  Your best bet might be controlled chaos.  It is very difficult to find alone time with kids and family commitments - I found that to be the most exhausting part of raising a family.  Use your drive to raise your kids to be the people you want them to be, then give it over to God.

kerri (not verified) says...

Me too!!!! Knowing my personalitiy would have been such a confidence booster as a younger woman! I'm 33 now. Had a ton of kids. Homeschooling. Had a sleeping baby on me as I read your comments. Learning constantly. I have no income, which is a constant source of discouragement for me! I don't mean to be proud but looking back I know I could have been a doctor, scientist, anything. I love science and learning. My brother is an electrical engineer, mom a teacher, dad an engineer at Space Center. Sometimes I think I've failed to become qualified to make money and sometimes I wonder if God has me exactly where I am because he values my time with my children more than a second income would benefit my family. Alone. Time. Oh my goodness. I constantly live sleep deprived because I MUST be alone to think/plan/read/learn. I've kind of fallen into hippie medicine. Herbs/natural remedies, love biology. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with my life still. haha. I guess I'm doing it but feeling like I've got some fire burning to accomplish something more than educate my kids. Honestly, I feel like that's wildly important but much easier than people make it and that there's more I could be doing. No adivce for you Claire, but awesome to meet someone else with same passions and personality.

 

JuliaM (not verified) says...

ClaireK,

Like yourself I am very family-oriented and spritual.  Less "religious" than spiritual.  Daily studies in the word. I have read other personality profiles that state that we are family/home and spiritually oriented, so it seems to be an opinion, rather than a fact. Perhaps, speculation based on the way that we think. 

Be kind to yourself at home and do not let the frustration and imperfection of home/family life drive you crazy.  Just try to enjoy the process of improving because there is always something to work on!

I am a data analyst, and I love it! I could not homeschool, but I respect you for it.  I would drive my children nuts and we would all be miserable.  They are best taught in their wonderful school. We all do love learning, and share the love together.  I was fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with them until they went to school.  I was so ready to rejoin the work force.  While I was intimidated, when I went back to work I found my nitch.

I would continue to focus on your children, until you feel they are ready for the next phase, then the work and the opportunities will come to you.  I promise. God has a way of working things out for us. 

 

 

Sahar (not verified) says...

Hey , I'm a female INTJ too!

Morgynn (not verified) says...

Hey Melissa, I am a female INTJ as well. I decided to go back to school about a year ago to pursue computer programming. Would love any advice you have!

Ashish Sakhare (not verified) says...

Hi Melissa just found myself to be intj...feels great

Reply if u read this

R. Tyler (not verified) says...

Melissa, 

I would love to pick your brain and learn how you got to where you are now in life. I am always looking for a new direction. I hope to talk to you.

 

 

Elena96 (not verified) says...

Hello Melissa,

My name is Elena Bermejo. I stumbled upon your comment and I was intrigued with your line of work. I too am one of the rare female INTJ personality types and I have worked any and all customer service jobs and none have suited me. I would like to ask, how long did it take you to earn your education in computer programming and what courses did you take? Did your line of work require a Bachelors or Associates?

nan1 (not verified) says...

After 14 years of searching for the "right" job, I found research.  As an INTJ, research could not be more perfect for me.

Mino (not verified) says...

I am an intj (female), learning about the personality traits really helped me to understand myself and helpe me to understand why people always gets intimidated around me.   I love intellectual conversations and love reasearching too. I am planning to pursue for higher studies ( research) and reading all of your comments here in this blog made me feel so great. Everyone seem so confident as I am, all the best for your future plans.  As an intj, I love art and music, at the same time I love science and religion as well. I feel there is no limit to human mind, as long as we are willing to study, we can study anything subjects, work in any field. 

Kate108 (not verified) says...

I am an INTJ and have always had artistic and musical gifts (drawing, graphic design, piano, etc) - I think it goes with the territory. However, I have not developed those talents to any significant degree. I also wanted to be a fashion designer for a time. For practical reasons, I pursued computer programming and was a natural at it. I love complex systems and organization and this career was a good match for me. However, because I despise working within organizations and institutions, I left the IT world and became a freelance writer. I've been much happier working on my own, but I find writing a bit tedious at times. While rewarding in its own way, I don't find it mentally stimulating. For fun, I've decided to take up FOREX trading. So you see, INTJs are complex people who are interested in a wide range of stuff.

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