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How do ESFJs communicate?

ESFJs are enthusiastic and caring communicators, who want to engage people to contribute and accomplish what needs to be done. They tend to be friendly and to get along easily with others, although they can become frustrated with those who do not respond to their attempts to reach out. They have a good memory for detail, especially facts about other people, and enjoy getting to know people and understanding their needs. ESFJs are factual in their communication, but generally uncomfortable with criticism and conflict, preferring instead to provide support and encouragement to others.

What are ESFJs like as partners?

In relationships, the ESFJ is supportive, nurturing, and reliable. ESFJs concern themselves with providing practical support to their partners and living up to traditional standards in a relationship: they want to be the "good wife" or husband based on traditional ideals.

ESFJs like an organized life and want their partners to participate in a structured, scheduled lifestyle. They adhere strictly to their own moral code, and want a partner who agrees with them on issues of right and wrong, should and should not. Conscientiousness is important to the ESFJ, and when they follow through responsibly on their promises, they expect the same from others.

ESFJs dislike conflict and are motivated to resolve it quickly. They prefer stable, harmonious relationships and like a partner who is able to be loving and committed, even when the ESFJ has strong emotional reactions. ESFJs appreciate a partner who notices their efforts to provide for their families, and commends them on a job well done.

What are ESFJs like as parents?

As parents, ESFJs provide clear structure and loving boundaries. They are interested in providing a safe and stable home with adequate resources, and in instilling a strong moral code and work ethic into their children. They are extremely devoted to their children, and go to tremendous lengths to be sure they are provided for.

ESFJs often strongly identify with their children’s behavior, feeling tremendous pride when they succeed but an enormous sense of personal failure when they do not. ESFJs may become embarrassed and critical of children who do not behave as expected; they want their children to adopt and follow their own strong system of values.

For more information: Please Understand Me II

ESFJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the ESFJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the ESFJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The ESFJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between ESFJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

ESFJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the ESFJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the ESFJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the ESFJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the ESFJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

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Want to have a more in-depth conversation about being an ESFJ? Head on over to our discussion forum and post your questions, comments, and/or general musings!

Comments

Ted says...

This test is very accurate.  Unfortunatley I am split between I and E, F and T, and J and P.  This makes it much more difficult to put me into one hole or the other.  Some online tools reflect the percentages of each of the types more than this tool does.  It might be helpful to add that to the results of this appraisal.

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