You’d think that the Marie Kondo-esque Judging personalities would thrive under pressure. After all, Judgers are known for being hardworking, focused, and organized to a T. The reality? Most Judgers only prosper in a structured environment. When there’s no structure, stress can take over, and turn our lives upside down. To add to the mix, we can also procrastinate in worse ways than Perceivers do.
So, if you’re a Judger looking to break away from all the worries, you’re in the right place. Here are 12 thoughts to make your day more relaxed.
1. ‘I’m capable of being kind to myself today’
When you have low self-esteem, or aren’t naturally inclined to positive self-talk, self-loving mantras can be intimidating. So, if the ‘I love myself fully’ motto isn’t doing anything for you, try this one instead.
No matter how stressed out you may be, you can always be a little kinder to yourself. Life’s hard enough already, so don’t let your inner critic trick you into thinking you don't deserve love and forgiveness.
2. ‘I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it’
No matter how much—as a Judger—you might enjoy planning things out, you can’t always plan for the unexpected. So, instead of ruminating on what might happen, use this mantra to remind yourself where you’re at right now.
Worrying about the future will only fuel unnecessary anxiety and stress, so choose to focus on the present moment, taking things one day at a time.
3. ‘I will be okay without knowing everything’
Micromanaging is something many Judgers do (even if unconsciously). This mantra reminds you that, though all of us make choices every day, there are things you have no control over. That’s why there’s no point in overthinking and trying to predict people’s behaviors or reactions. According to a 2013 study, ruminating thoughts may be a risk factor for developing anxiety, and depression. So, let things go, and trust that you’ll be okay without knowing how everything will unfold.
4. ‘With every breath, I inhale confidence, and exhale doubt’
Mindful breathing is a practice with ancient roots that aims to connect your body, and mind. If you’re struggling with a lack of confidence, and feeling stressed by an upcoming event, try to focus on your breath, and repeat this calming thought as many times as you feel necessary.
5. ‘I’ve gotten through tough days before, and I will again’
One of my most treasured possessions is an old denim shirt I have with a patch that reads: ‘I will make it out of this alive.’ Whenever I read that quote, I remind myself that stressful situations do have an ending, even if you can’t always see it when you’re living them.
You can use this calming thought to do the same, and recall past challenging situations you’ve successfully overcome. This strategy can act as a reminder of how you’re capable of dealing with difficult circumstances, reducing the feeling of powerlessness, and helping you rise above the situation.
6. ‘I am not alone’
This positive affirmation reminds you that you’re not alone in your struggles. Just like you, other people have had difficulties. Maybe not involving the exact same circumstances, but we’ve all faced challenges in our lives. This mantra can help you acknowledge those universal struggles, and encourage you to reach out for help when everything feels too much. In fact, certain Judging types are so focused on helping others all the time (looking at you ESFJs), that they hesitate to ask for help when they need it.
7. ‘I give myself permission to rest’
Some Judging personalities are givers by nature. So, what happens when these types don’t establish boundaries? They can succumb to stress, and neglect to take care of themselves. This affirmation is your gentle reminder for you to prioritize your own needs. Don’t worry about what others might think if you say ‘no’ every once in a while. When you give yourself permission to rest, and practice self-care, you have more energy to be of service to others.
8. ‘I am deserving of happiness and love’
In your worst days, when you feel like there’s no end to the pressure and anxiety you feel, remind yourself that you’re still worthy of happiness, and love. Yes, even when you make mistakes, or are less than perfect.
9. ‘Just for today, I accept that I’m exactly where I need to be’
Acceptance doesn’t always come easily to the uptight Judger, but it is good to remember that its opposite—resistance—usually creates more suffering. You can use this mantra to remind yourself that the world won’t come to an end because you failed to cross every item off your to-do list. Once you accept the less-than-ideal scenarios of your life, you may find more freedom and energy to seek solutions.
10. ‘I’m grateful for where I’m at’
Multiple studies show that gratitude has positive effects on our mental health, and it might even make you a happier person. This simple gratitude affirmation is helpful to acknowledge how the ups and downs are part of everyone’s life.
If you’re worried about the future, take a moment to express some gratitude for all the good and not-so-good things you’ve gone through, and how they made you as a person.
11. ‘I’m in charge of how I feel, and today I choose to be calm’
Some Judging types are completely disconnected from their emotions, to the point where they believe they have zero control over them. The good news is that you have more of a say in how you feel than you might think.
If you think about it, emotions are usually the result of our perceptions, and you’re the one in charge of how you perceive things. So, take a moment today to try this mantra, focusing on creating a calming environment for yourself.
12. ‘I am not my thoughts’
According to a recent study, humans have around 6,200 thoughts every day. So it is no surprise that some of those thoughts may be negative. When you’re feeling particularly anxious, you may enter a spiral of negative self-talk.
This affirmation aims to help you get out of it, by reminding you that you shouldn’t believe everything you think. When we acknowledge that we shouldn’t take all of our thoughts for granted, it becomes easier to gain perspective.
Grant yourself a serene day
Some Judgers have a hard time saving time for themselves, which can often lead to added stress, and anxiety. Repeating some of these positive affirmations in the morning, or as you go about your day, might help you find that much-needed moment of peace. So go ahead, and try one of the calming thoughts on our list. I hope they grant you a serene day!