This Is You At Your Best and Your Worst In Relationships, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type25 November 2020 / By Lacey Ramburger Clinically Reviewed by Steven Melendy, PsyD. on November 25, 2020
No one enjoys feeling vulnerable, and romantic relationships tend to be where we are exposed the most. That’s the place with the highest stakes; where even a small shift in dynamics can leave you feeling insecure and off balance. While we’re all different, how we navigate our relationships is closely intertwined with our Myers and Briggs personality preferences. Check out your personality type below to see what you look like in a relationship—at your very best and your absolute worst.
ENFP: The Champion
Best: You’re adventurous, optimistic, and excited to take on the day, ENFP, and that makes you fun to be around. You’re supportive of your partner’s dreams and goals, always encouraging them to keep going. You’re the perfect balance of independence and spending quality time together—you know both are equally important.
Worst: You can become so caught up in what could happen that you forget to pay attention to what is happening. You long for things you can’t have. This often leaves you not cherishing the relationship and feeling indecisive about what you actually want.
INFP: The Healer
Best: You’re idealistic, motivational, and empathetic beyond belief. You are so in tune with your own emotions as well as your partner’s, that it’s easy for you to prioritize the emotional health of the relationship. You go out of your way to see your partner’s side of things and make them feel understood in deeper ways.
Worst: You have such high expectations of your relationship, INFP, that you can find yourself leaning into the fairytale aspect and expecting your partner to make the impossible happen. Because if they loved you, why wouldn’t they give you everything? You’re not so great at communicating these fantasies, however, or giving yourself a reality check. Since your partner can’t read your mind, you feel deeply let down and misunderstood.
ENTP: The Visionary
Best: You’re free-spirited and unconventional, which makes even the mundane moments of your relationship feel exciting. You don’t allow your relationships to become stagnant. You want your significant other to expand their worldviews, and you do a great job of helping the both of you get there.
Worst: You’re arrogant and overly critical of your partner, ENTP, especially when they hold a different opinion than you. You can be impulsive and so determined to be outside the box that you make nonsensical choices and you don’t care how anyone feels about it. You pick apart your partner’s flaws claiming to be “helping them” when the reality is you’re tearing them down to make yourself feel better.
INTP: The Architect
Best: You are an intelligent, imaginative critical thinker who doesn’t make decisions lightly. When you commit to someone, there is no doubt of your loyalty. You show your love through your actions, and build depth in your relationship through showing the private sides of yourself that others rarely see.
Worst: You’re overly critical, demeaning, and emotionally unavailable, INTP, which can make your partner think that you’re not as invested in the relationship as they need you to be. You don’t take into account how your partner feels, and you leave them in the dark on what you’re thinking.
ESFJ: The Provider
Best: You’re affirming, dedicated, and expressive in your devotion. You make sure the person you’re dating is taken care of in every way possible. You aren’t afraid to tell them how you feel, and you have the actions to back it up. You are able to sense what’s needed in a situation and step up, making people feel understood and loved in ways they aren’t used to but definitely will appreciate.
Worst: At your worst, you can be passive-aggressive, clingy, and emotionally demanding of your partner. While you will never ask for someone to return favors you do for them, ESFJ, you can also feel slighted if they don’t reciprocate on instinct. You put too much emphasis on how others see you, which can lead you to change yourself or your partner to fit certain ideas.
ISFJ: The Protector
Best: Devoted, practical and selfless, you aren’t afraid to step up and show your partner with your actions how you feel about them. You like to keep things secure and grounded, and you never want your partner to question your feelings. Once you’re in, you’re all in.
Worst: You can be closed off, stubborn and self-critical. You don’t always express what you need in a relationship, ISFJ, leaving it up to your partner to figure it out alone—and getting very frustrated when they don’t. You tend to act like your needs don’t matter, which can make you too dependent on your significant other to be happy.
ESTJ: The Supervisor
Best: You are motivated, protective and enthusiastic about life. You work hard to create a stable environment and express your love mostly through physical action. You aren’t afraid to take the lead in your relationships, and you truly have the best interests of your partner in mind.
Worst: You are conceited, bull-headed, and aggressive to the point where you believe your way is not only the correct option, but the only one. You view vulnerability as a weakness and treat it as such. You can be a bit of a bully if you believe it will get you what you want, and you don’t take your significant other’s emotions into play when doing so.
ISTJ: The Inspector
Best: You’re efficient, intentional, and loyal. You understand that relationships require work, and you aren’t afraid to put in that effort. You listen and care about making the connection the best it can be. If having a loving, devoted relationship is a goal you wish to pursue, you will go out of your way to make that happen.
Worst: You can be rigid and pessimistic, ISTJ, and you can fail to appreciate the emotional displays of affection your partner is putting out. You don’t see any practical reason why you should be romantic, and this can make your partner feel restricted and unloved. Stubborn in your middle name, and you can get so caught up in being right that you can step all over your partner’s feelings without giving it a second thought.
ENFJ: The Teacher
Best: Nurturing, kind-hearted and affectionate, you desire to bring out the best in your significant other because you can see all the good they have to offer. Communication is a strong point for you, and you aren’t afraid to address things that could use work. Your partner will know where they stand and will feel nurtured through any rough spots.
Worst: You can be smothering, controlling, and care too much about others’ opinions. While you may have good intentions, you can become too involved in your partner’s life—even going as far as to change them. You can also be a bit needy emotionally, wanting constant reassurance that can be exhausting for your person after a while.
INFJ: The Counselor
Best: You are considerate, emotionally expressive, and empathetic. You want your special person to know they are loved, and you will go out of your way to make sure they never forget it. You are sensitive to how your partner feels and conflict-averse, which means you work hard to find a solution to problems, even when you disagree. You aren’t afraid of someone’s worst side and will love them regardless—you want both of you to be your authentic selves.
Worst: You can be fixated on achieving the perfect relationship, INFJ, which can be stressful for both you and your partner. You can be skeptical about your partner’s intentions at times and can project your insecurities onto them, looking for fights when it isn’t necessary,
ESTP: The Dynamo
Best: You’re charming, excitable, and down-to-earth. You don’t take yourself too seriously and don’t put pressure on your relationship. You have a focus on independence, and you encourage your partner to be their own person outside of your relationship.
Worst: You’re impulsive, blunt, and can become bored easily. You can be insensitive to your partner’s feelings, particularly if they are being open and vulnerable with you. You tend to make light of moments that are serious, and your recklessness can prevent you from developing a true emotional connection that most relationships require.
ISTP: The Craftsperson
Best: You’re exciting, intense, and genuinely fun to be around. At the same time, you’re realistic and grounded in the present moment—you don’t get too caught up in what was or what might be. You tend to attract others because of your confidence and responsiveness, but you don’t try to hide who you are.
Worst: You can be noncommittal, closed off, and unsympathetic. You don’t like making long-term commitments because you insist on taking things day by day, which can be frustrating for your significant other. Romantic partners want to know you’ll stick around. You are so focused on making sure you have your space and freedom, ISTP, that you keep your special person at a distance, without caring how hurtful it might be.
ESFP: The Performer
Best: You’re spontaneous, optimistic, and generous with your time and your emotions. You believe in spending time together as much as you can. You care about how your person is feeling, and if they seem down you go out of your way to lift their spirits. There’s never a dull moment when you’re together.
Worst: You can be discontent, overly sensitive, and wary of long-term commitments. You hate the feeling of being tied down, and if your partner asks for a stronger commitment, you accuse them of trying to limit you. You don’t handle criticism well. Even if your special person is calmly trying to communicate an issue, you may take it extremely personally.
ISFP: The Composer
Best: You’re open-minded, kind-hearted, and you don’t take your commitments lightly. You are clear about that from the beginning, which your partner will appreciate. You go out of your way to show your special person how much you care for them, whether it’s by creating something for them, taking care of their needs, or just telling them. You want the person to feel safe with you, and they do.
Worst: You can be stagnant, elusive, and passive-aggressive. You fear that no one will fully understand you, so you hold back your feelings so you don’t get hurt. You blame your partner for the lack of connection when you know you’re the one keeping it from fully forming.
ENTJ: The Commander
Best: You’re thoughtful, energetic, and efficient in what you do. You communicate your thoughts and feelings well, and you don’t like things to be uncertain or inconsistent. You pay attention to your partner’s wants and needs and come through for them, because you know how important it is to stop problems before they escalate.
Worst: You’re arrogant, confrontational, and intimidating, ENTJ. You tend to believe that while everyone’s opinion matters, yours matters the most. You can be hurtful to the person you care about, especially if you think they are being too emotional.
INTJ: The Mastermind
Best: You are open-minded and goal-oriented, and that means you can always find ways to improve a situation. In your relationship, you do this without thinking twice. You are very loyal and committed to the person you’re with—fully focused on the life you are building together.
Worst: You’re reserved, stubborn, and withdrawn. You believe anything can be solved with logic, but love is messy and that can throw you off. Because of how intensely you think about things, you lean towards believing you’re always right and have a hard time admitting otherwise. You have a large amount of pride that hinders you and your partner more than you care to admit.
Violet Clark (not verified) says...
I am an INTP, and I admit, I can be very critical, especially towards myself, closed off, and sometimes a little too insensitive. I read my INTP Best and Worst Relationship for my personality type, and I thought it was pretty accurate, except that I'm critical towards myslef mostly, and sometimes I can come across as really cold and indifferent.
Worst: "You're overly critical, demeaning, and emotionally unavailable, INTP, which can make your partner think that you're not as invested in the relationship as they need you to be. You don't take into account how your partner feels, and you leave them in the dark on what you're thinking." Best: "You are an intelligent, imaginative critical thinker who doesn't make decisions lightly. When you commit to someone, there is no doubt of your loyalty. You show your love through your actions, and build depth in your relationship through showing the private sides of yourself that others rarely see."