My ESFJ boyfriend thinks relationships are easy. I do not. We have been dating for over two years, which is a new form of miracle for me and really no big deal for him. While it’s been easier than my previous attempts, it’s been far from simple. Because inside my mind I have many, many illogical questions about how relationships work and no logical framework to answer them with. Without these things, I am a ship beneath a starless night sailing in circles until I can bear the siren’s call no longer and crash upon the rocks.
ENFJs… We’re devoted, loving, hard-working and loyal to a fault. What’s not to love, right? Well, for this ENFJ, love has been … a battlefield. Like many of my fellow Teacher personality types, I tend to fall into the category of “serial monogamy.” I find myself in one relationship after the next, pushing for something lasting—even when the relationship has clear problems.
Alright everyone, meet Jenny, our theoretical ENFP for the day. Jenny is vivacious and passionate, able to somehow be up in the clouds and grounded at the same time. She is also single and in the wonderful world of dating. As an ENFP there are fewer things that are more exciting than a world full of possibilities!
However, as you may well know, dear reader, dating is not always all it’s cracked up to be. Here are a few snags an ENFP like Jenny can expect to experience on her love-bound journey.
Rationals are one of the four Keirsey temperament groups, comprising the personality types ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP and INTP. These temperaments share the qualities of being abstract thinkers who approach situations in a theory-focused, pragmatic mode. Getting a Rational to open up and show their tender side can be as challenging as the toil of Sisyphus ... and one that you might just find intriguing.
How do you connect with a partner who is known more for his brilliant mind than his brilliant romance? Here are 8 ridiculous but essential lessons for dating Rationals.
INFJs love people. They love being with them. They love forming intimate relationships with them. They love surrendering to the connection between two people when all the distance falls away and they each express themselves openly and without censorship. And they love sharing their endless warmth and sensitivity with their soulmate. As has often been observed, there's no one more loving than an INFJ in love.
Not everyone feels comfortable laying their heart on their sleeve, even to the person they hold the most dear. Some people bottle things up because they don't like sharing things that are personal. They feel vulnerable when they open up and worry that they will lose their partner's acceptance if they show the "real" them. Others keep secrets from their significant other to protect them. If telling the truth will potentially hurt their partner, they might go to great lengths to keep their lips sealed.
It was no secret when Jed married Kara, the two were very different people. In fact, some called them opposites. Jed was an extremely extroverted singer who loved performing on stage, and Kara was an introverted freelance writer. Many of their opposing traits complemented the other—with his strengths and her strengths working together, it seemed like life was full of possibilities.
Perceivers are the laid-back, adaptable all-rounders of the personality type world. They don't stress when things go wrong and have an easy time adjusting to change. Members of this free-wheeling type are typically more tolerant of people's differences than their Judging cousins, and often find themselves drawn to relationships with people from all corners of the personality spectrum.
If the person you're dating demonstrates the following behaviors, chances are you've got a Perceiver on your hands.
INTJ's are not known for placing a lot of emphasis on romance. We embody the suppression of emotion, not the expression of it. We can be so matter-of-fact and hard-headed that it's difficult to imagine us doing something as frivolous as falling in love.
At the same time, we want a relationship. We know that we're pretty darned outstanding as relationship material, just too awkward to play the dating game.
Probably the most dominant personality of the 16 personality types, ENTJs are "in it to win it" in every sense of the phrase. As high achievers they will do everything in their power to achieve success; many will casually trample over people's feelings in their race to the top. They do not do this because they are cruel or cold-hearted - it's more that ENTJ personalities genuinely enjoy the battle of wits that comes with pursuing victory.