Idealistic and reserved, INFJ personalities usually seek harmonious and long-lasting romantic relationships. Still, as an INFJ myself, I can also attest we can be difficult to know, as we often go into our shells for fear of being hurt or betrayed by others. 

So, which personality type is the best love match for the sensitive, soulmate seeking INFJ? Read on to discover our best guesses.

But first, what constitutes a good match?

Truth is, there’s no such thing as the perfect love match—the best we can do is identify personalities that are more or less compatible depending on what shared values, ideas and goals they have. For some types, a shared number of commonalities is expected while others seek more potentially challenging partnerships. 

When it comes to INFJs, we’re as idealistic as it gets. In our minds, the perfect romantic partner is someone who understands our quirks and flaws but loves us all the same. In addition, most INFJs begin a relationship thinking of it as a long-term commitment, which means we expect a certain level of dedication from a romantic partner.

Overall, your typical INFJ values loyalty, integrity and kindness in a relationship, and will look for people who show these qualities. We’re at our happiest when we feel understood and emotionally nurtured by our partners.

Four personalities that are highly compatible with INFJs

ENFJ

Loyal and dedicated, ENFJs share many of the same values as INFJs. Both of these types thrive when helping others and show a relentless dedication to their principals. Still, while this shared ethic may be a good foundation for a successful relationship, there’s one little letter that can change things around.

Whereas, as an INFJ, you’ll often need to seclude yourself to re-energize, ENFJs enjoy being around other people. For them, caring for others means a hands-on approach and it is unlikely they’ll get as overwhelmed or energy depleted by this style of communication as an INFJ would.

In addition, both of you are immensely passionate about your own beliefs. This can be a good thing, but it also means it may be difficult for an INFJ-ENFJ couple to get past a subject you disagree on. Yet, when you tune into your natural empathetic nature, you’ll find it easier to accept each other’s differences and reach common ground.

INTP

Many consider the ENTP and INFJ to be a match made in heaven, but I believe INTPs and INFJs can also make a great team. These two personalities may not share exactly the same personality traits, but they are definitely complementary.                                                                                     

Starting with the similarities, both INTPs and INFJs are Introverts and Intuitives, which means you share the same abstract style of communication and preference for solitude. Your INTP partner might not have the same interests you have, but you’re both willing to dig deep into philosophical topics and profound conversations in a way that makes you both happy.

On the other hand, this pair has some fundamental differences. As Perceivers, INTPs have a more laid-back approach to life whereas INFJs, in typical Judging fashion, rely on structure and organization to thrive. Although this may be a sticking point between the two, it may also be an opportunity for growth. INTPs can help their INFJ partners to be more spontaneous and get out of their heads for a bit. In return, INFJs may help INTPs to know when they should be persistent and stick to the plan. 

ENFP

If you have an ENFP as a friend, you’ll know how fun and inclusive these types can be. ENFPs may be an INFJ’s best match due to the similarities and complementary traits these types share.

Firstly, you both lead with Intuition, though it manifests itself in different ways. Whereas, as an INFJ, you live inside your head most of the time, ENFPs are people-centered social creatures who enjoy bringing out the best in others.

Additionally, you both align your actions with your values. Still, while the fun-loving ENFP likes to enjoy what life has to offer, their INFJ partner may prioritize hard work and achievement. This can be a fracturing point between the two, but it’s surmountable when you connect with your inner empathetic nature.

Finally, as happens with any Introvert and Extravert relationship, there may be a bit of a communication imbalance between the two. As Introverts, INFJs may assume the role of listeners by default. This can be a comfortable dynamic, but it might be problematic if your partner doesn’t make space for you to share your thoughts and feelings.

INTJ

Last but not least, we have the INTJ and INFJ combo. There is potential for conflict in this relationship, but also many commonalities that can make it a successful duo. 

To start with, both INTJs and INFJs are Introverted Intuitives, meaning you’re interested in seeking the deeper meaning of life, and enjoy analyzing patterns, ideas, and possibilities. Yet, whereas the INFJ trusts their heart to make decisions, their INTJ partner may be uncomfortable tapping into their emotions. In addition, INTJs can come across as cold or indifferent, because they lead with their Thinking function and focus on logical reasoning in their interactions.                                                                                               

However, there’s much both of you can learn from each other. As an INFJ, your INTJ partner may help you develop a more straightforward approach to decision-making. In fact, as an INFJ myself, I’d say sometimes all I need is for someone to tell me not to give so much thought to what others will think if I do X instead of Y. In return, you can open up space for your INTJ partner to feel more comfortable getting in touch with their emotions.

The bottom line

There’s no magic formula to find the perfect romantic partner, but understanding your personality can be a start. As an INFJ, you’re generally more compatible with types that share the same values and goals as you do. Still, remember that any relationship can work as long as there’s commitment and regular assessment on both parts about what you want your future together to look like.

Andreia Esteves
Andreia is an INFJ who used to think she was the only person in the world terrified of answering the phone. She works as a freelance writer covering all things mental health, and psychology related. When not writing, you’ll find her cozying up with a book, or baking vegan treats. Find her at: https://andreiaesteves.com/