ENTP and INFJ Personalities: A Match Made in Heaven?

Have you ever met someone and felt like they absolutely, totally get you? That this person makes you feel alive and excited just by saying hello? If you’re an INFJ who’s met an ENTP, you’ll know exactly what I mean. Many people say that ENTP and INFJ types are made for each other. 

But ….aren’t ENTP personality types fun-loving, gregarious Extraverts? And INFJ personalities are sensitive Introverts who hate small talk? How is this match possible? Is this unlikely pair really a match made in heaven or do their opposing traits ultimately create more rancor than romance? 

Let’s take a look.

Intuitives attract…but who can get a word in edgewise?

As two intuitives together, ENTPs and INFJs can do what they both love best—engaging in deep, meaningful conversations. Both types think and view the world in abstract, and talking about ideas and possibilities, instead of just facts, details and events, is like catnip to these two. They just can’t get enough. 

As an INFJ who’s dated an ENTP, I’d spend evenings talking with my partner about psychology, history, politics, and religion and it was thrilling. Nerdy, yes, but thrilling.

Everyone knows that ENTPs love to talk and share their ideas. Perhaps more than any other type, INFJs are brilliant at listening and engaging with those ideas, as well as keeping the ENTP on track. This can make their conversations, and their relationship, an exciting meeting of the minds. When they’re talking to each other, you can almost literally see the sparks flying!

Problems arise when the ENTP wants their INFJ introverted partner to open up more than they feel able to do. The INFJ, on the other hand, might struggle to get a word in edgewise in conversations with the enthusiastic ENTP.  While sharing ideas is a great quality of the ENTP, it might be a bit too much of a good thing for the quieter, more inward-looking INFJ. 

There’s mutual trust ...but a conflicting emotional style

INFJs like people they can trust deeply and who can really see all their layers. And, although they have a harder time opening up themselves, ENTPs love to look at things in-depth while their confidence provides reassuring moral support. In other words, these types can really see and support each other. 

INFJs also love to make people feel better and are authentic, insightful people who can see past a facade—another way they help ENTPs to be themselves. This generates the kind of trust that makes them want to live in the woods if it means they can be together.

The pressure point comes from their conflicting emotional style. INFJs are one of Keirsey’s Idealist types. They value human connection, trust their intuition and value compassion over material things. The INFJ is interested in the way things affect people, and has the emotional intelligence to deal with those events.

Known as the Inventor, ENTPs are one of Keirsey’s Rational types. They trust logic and practicality and are focused on problem-solving and systems analysis. Conflicts can arise when the ENTP thinks their INFJ partner is too emotional and impractical, and the INFJ feels the ENTP is cold and distant.

Couples that play together, stay together…but one of them needs space

Outgoing ENTPs can encourage the introverted INFJ to be more social. Conversely, the INFJ can help the ENTP to slow down and take some time to reflect. They may need to set boundaries about how much time they spend socialising versus spending quiet time alone, but they are always helping each other grow. Ultimately, the ENTP’s spontaneity can make life so fun and exciting for INFJs, it feels like magic.

Where things get explosive is the need for recharge time. As Extraverts, ENTPs are energized by spending time with people, and INFJs recharge with time alone. This pairing may have some interesting arguments about how to spend their time, especially when either or both of them are under stress. It can be difficult for ENTPs to recognise that INFJs aren’t necessarily shy. They actually enjoy being alone!

They make smart decisions together...but clash over routines

The INFJ likes to make plans and establish a routine, keep things organised and finish what they start. They tend to be serious and goal-oriented, while the ENTP is usually happy to let them take the reins while they take a more relaxed approach to life. They may be different in their P and J preferences, but in this case, opposites attract. These types are capable of making some really smart decisions together, striking a nice balance between getting a decision made and sleeping on it to make sure the decision is the right one.

But then, the INFJ is all about honoring commitments, while the ENTP can become bored with routine. Problems can develop if the INFJ becomes too controlling and set in their ways, or the ENTP changes plans at the last minute or fails to recognise schedules. The ENTP can seem unmotivated or even lazy to the hard-working INFJ, while the ENTP can see their INFJ partner as uptight, restrictive and just no fun. 

Fun is a vital relationship component for the freewheeling ENTP, so if these types can’t find ways to play and relax together, the relationship could soon hit the rocks.

The final word

Despite their differences, INFJ and ENTP personality types can give each other one of the most important things in a relationship—feeling understood. Because they both like to think about and discuss ideas, they feel connected to each other and understood in themselves, yet still have endless possibilities for learning, discussion and personal development.

No relationship comes without obstacles and challenges to overcome, but if an INFJ and ENTP are lucky enough to meet, they will likely find someone who is a mind mate, a soul mate, and someone who will help them be the best they can be.

Deborah Ward

Deborah Ward is a writer and an INFJ. She has a passion for writing articles, blog posts and books that inspire, motivate and encourage people to build self-confidence and live up to their potential. She has written two books on mindfulness, Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness and Overcoming Fear with Mindfulness. Her latest book, Sense and Sensitivity, is based on her Psychology Today blog of the same name. It's about highly sensitive people and is out now. Deborah lives in Hampshire, England, where she enjoys watching documentaries, running and taking long walks in the country, especially ones that finish at a cosy pub.

Comments

LK (not verified) says...

As an INFJ, I have struggled with many ENTPs in my life. I actually don't feel like I've connected well with them while they seem to love my personality type. I had a boss who was ENTP and he wanted to debate everything, which isn't good in a leadership position. I often felt I had to take the lead in policy making, but yet I wasn't getting paid the higher salary. My partner (ISTJ) also seems to have many ENTP friends, and they all love talking with me. But after awhile, I am utterly exhausted. I feel like I can out-argue them, provide counter-points they didn't even think about, and they get excited. I like that I can debate with them and they don't get offended by my ideas. But they want to continue the discussion forever as they work out stuff. I seriously can't imagine a romantic relationship with them. I also feel many ENTPs I have met lack general empathy. So I don't see the real benefit I get from them besides a good dialogue (that just isn't enough to sustain a relationship for me).

PlantJay (not verified) says...

As an INFJ, I came to the comments to say the same thing :)

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