Compatibility of ISFJ with ENTP in Relationships

You have a different style of communication from this person, and you’ll need to make some accommodations if this relationship is to reach its full potential. 

You tend to communicate in a straightforward, concrete way, focusing on facts, details, history, and real-life experiences. You focus on the "what" when discussing something, and convey information that you observed directly or can back up with real-life evidence. When making plans, you tend to focus on the specific steps that will occur. And generally, you're interested in talking about real things, not ideas or theories.

In contrast, your counterpart tends to communicate in an abstract, theoretical way. They focus on making connections and interpreting meaning, the "why" of the thing in question. Much of what they communicate is their idea, theory, or interpretation of what they see, rather than a direct observation. When making plans, they are inclined to spend a lot of time talking about the overall goal or theme of the plan without having much interest in the details. 

While it may sound like you are speaking different languages, the truth is that although you have different comfort zones when it comes to communication, you are well able to get out of those comfort zones to meet halfway—and you'll both be the better for it. Your partner can help you stretch to look beyond the obvious of things and explore the deeper meaning. And in turn, you can help them to come back down to earth and discuss the details and facts of a situation, not just the big idea. 

The two of you have fundamental differences in what you value. While you are a traditionalist who will likely find challenging the status quo unnecessary, if not outright alarming, your counterpart tends to be a bit of an agitator, seeking out ways to shake up the system and make things newer, faster, and better. While you have a lot of potential to learn from one another, there are also a lot of hurdles to overcome if you are to understand each other.

At your core, you put faith in tradition and trust what has worked in the past. You appreciate social ties and feel comforted, rather than restricted, by institutions and traditions. Rather than being excited by the unknown, you finds it taxing to strike out into new territory. For this reason, you are inclined to stick with what you know and follow in the footsteps of the people and communities you trust.

Your counterpart, on the other hand, values change. They believe that everything can be analyzed, dissected, re-engineered, and improved. They most likely love science, technology, and innovations in business. To them, the future is an exciting place, and they may enjoy fantasizing about what the world will be like in 20, 50, or even a thousand years.

Your counterpart tends to have very little interest in tradition, while you have little interest in change for change's sake. In the worst case scenario, you're likely to feel that your counterpart is impractical, unrealistic, and insensitive to the needs of people who rely on established ways of doing things. For their part, they're likely to see you as a bit dull and unimaginative.

But conflict is not inevitable, and you each have something truly valuable to offer one another. For you, with a bit of trust, you can allow your counterpart to help you explore the unknown with a bit more enthusiasm. Their excitement and confidence in times of change can show you that what is new is not always unwelcome, and progress can be (and often is) a good thing.

On the flip side, you offer your counterpart a compassionate reality check for their sometimes pie-in-the-sky ideas. You’ll soon learn that, although they have some wonderfully innovative ideas, they're often mixed in with a few half-baked duds. You are uniquely positioned to tell your counterpart, gently, when they're wasting time reinventing the wheel.

Organization may be a sticking point between the two of you. While you like to establish structure in schedules, plans, and systems, your counterpart takes a more relaxed approach. You may find that disagreements arise over these fundamental differences.

If you share a physical space, you may disagree over how clean, tidy, and organized it needs to be. You will tend to feel more motivated to keep things in order, while your counterpart will have less of an innate need for organization.

Often, the more organized person in a relationship like yours ends up taking on more responsibilities, simply because they're paying more attention to what needs to be done. This can lead to resentment and imbalance in the relationship. You may feel as if you are the "adult" in the relationship, while your counterpart may feel nagged and harassed.

The best way to approach conflicts in this area is to frame your own desire for organization as just that—something you desire. It is generally unproductive to try to convince your partner that your structured, orderly way of doing things is the "correct" way, but if you approach it as simply stating your own preference, they may be more open to trying to accommodate you. 

Scheduling can also be an area of conflict for the two of you, as they like to leave things open-ended, while you prefer things planned and settled. Again, compromise is the key. The first step is to acknowledge that you have different approaches, and that each style has its benefits. Then, try to make sure your time together includes both scheduled events and free time for spontaneity, so you each get a chance to be at your best.