You'll quickly recognize this person as a fellow upstanding citizen, a practical sort, and someone you can rely on to get things done properly. While you may disagree on the specifics of things, you share a general interest in pragmatism, process, and correctness. You likely will build rapport by sharing details about your lives, and will feel connected when you discover shared history or commonalities in your life experience.
Are ISFJ and ISFJ personality types compatible? See how ISFJs and ISFJs get along in this guide to ISFJ/ISFJ relationships. If you're an ISFJ in a relationship with an ISFJ, discover how you'll communicate, interact, and relate to each other in daily life.
For a personalized look at your relationship style across 23 facets of personality, plus in-depth advice on maximizing your strengths in relationships, check our our scientifically validated TypeFinder personality assessment.
How ISFJ and ISFJ Get Along
ISFJs and ISFJs have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. As an ISFJ, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an ISFJ.
Although there are some common problems that can arise in ISFJ/ISFJ relationships, it's important to remember that there's no such thing as a perfectly compatible pair in personality typing. Whether you get along with someone has more to do with your own self-knowledge and your sensitivity to your friend's needs and preferences—not some magic formula. Learning more about your own type with an in-depth assessment is a great place to start to build the self-awareness that is key to successful relationships.
Communication Between ISFJ and ISFJ
Communication can be a challenge between any two people, and communication between ISFJ and ISFJ personality types is not the exception. By being aware of the issues that often arise when ISFJs and ISFJs communicate, you can learn how to reach an understanding more quickly.
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ISFJ vs. ISFJ Values
Values are intensely personal, and while an ISFJ and an ISFJ can find common ground, there will always be some differences in what you hold dear. However, understand how your ISFJ approach to values compares with your ISFJ counterpart's will help you to appreciate and overcome your differences.
You are likely to feel a strong connection with this person based on your fundamental similarities in values. You are both warm and people-oriented, and you like to live out your values by focusing on realities and hands-on ways to help others. You prefer careers that require a sympathetic approach to people, such as education, healthcare and social work. Or, you may spend time volunteering for causes that are important to you. It’s likely that you both are active members of your communities.
However you manifest them, it's clear from the way you live that your ideals are important, and you'll tend to have an easy understanding of this priority for one another. That you both make decisions based on experience, and based on how other people feel and how you can fix things for them, means you probably will always be conscious of each other. You both have a down-to-earth style of communication so misunderstandings are rarely a problem.
Although you and your counterpart have a similar way of understanding things, it would be a mistake to assume that you’ll agree on all important matters. You both believe in tradition in the personal sense and are deeply loyal to your causes. If your traditions are wildly different, however, and you are loyal to competing causes, then you may find yourself having a heated debate. Both of you tend to get your feelings hurt when your beliefs are challenged, so you may find it hard to ""agree to disagree"" as you are both so loyal to what you believe. Take care that you are not avoiding necessary conflict and disagreements, as this is unhealthy for the quality of the relationship.
Fundamentally, you are both about defending tradition and supporting people, including each other. At your best together, you will joyously live in the present, drawing comfort and value from the things you care about in the here and now. You will prioritise your closeness and connection and seek harmony in your relations. You comfort more than challenge each other, and this makes it easy to find your way back from any issues that may arise.
Yet you should be careful to avoid being too grounded, and developing a linear, black-and-white way of thinking about things. There are many facets to your value system besides right and wrong, and you should try to be open-minded when listening to others’ viewpoints. Sometimes stepping out of the comfort zone is necessary to truly attain the things that make life worth living. If this relationship is important to you, you may have to work on goals you would not naturally prioritize in order to secure the best enjoyment of each other.
ISFJ and ISFJ in Daily Life
Lifestyle is an under-appreciated—but extremely important—element of compatibility. Your values and ideals may coincide perfectly, but if you can't agree on how to conduct day-to-day matters, your relationship will always have friction. As an ISFJ in a relationship with an ISFJ, you can expect certain issues to arise in your daily life. Discussing these in advance, and figuring out how to deal with them, will make things go much more smoothly as you develop your relationship.
You take a similarly orderly approach to life and share an appreciation for schedules, to-do lists, and organizational systems. If you share space, it’s likely to be well organized and tidy. While you may sometimes disagree on exactly how to organize something, you both appreciate the process of creating structure, and will typically enjoy working together to get systems in place.
The two of you want to know who and where you are in the world, and you likely will share a fondness for upholding traditions you can respect and value. While you may not share specific hobbies, you both will be concerned with history and tradition and celebrating important rituals like birthdays and anniversaries.
For both of you, actions speak louder than words. You enjoy experiences and probably share a mutual interest in activities that will stimulate your senses or your body in some way, whether that’s cooking, bungee jumping or arts and crafts. In fact, you may find that doing things together is a great way to bring you closer.
You recall events as snapshots of what actually happened, and have a low tolerance for metaphorical language and esoteric thinking. You both live life in the moment, and are good at thinking on your feet. This mutual taste for ‘doing’ things in the here and now is stimulating for both of you, and helps keep things running smoothly between you. However, during periods of unplanned changes in your life, it's likely that you'll both be a bit hesitant and cranky. Bear in mind that future planning, with all its associated flexibility, is key to both of your long-term happiness.
You both get overstimulated by too much activity and both enjoy spending quiet time alone. You and your partner might often find yourself at home with takeout and Netflix, or even in the same room without actually talking to each other, and you’re both okay with that. You likely both have small but intimate circles of friends and there may be no great urgency to work your way into each other’s friendship circles as a way of deepening your own bond. Personal boundaries are important to you, and you respect each other’s personal space by default.
You likely share a slower pace of life and appreciate the need for down time to balance out the busyness. Neither of you feels a burning desire to attend party after relentless party, and it’s likely that you’re on the same page regarding the booking of your social calendar. The problem is that when you do make plans, it can be dangerously easy for you to talk each other out of them. Hiding away is not healthy or practical. If your relationship is a priority, one of you must bite the bullet and motivate the other to follow through.
Despite both being introverts, one partner may need more down time than the other, or you may have different social needs. It’s a balancing act to sync your calendars and maintain a balance between your respective needs. Communication is key, although that too can be challenging as you both tend to shy away from confrontation because it’s overstimulating. Acknowledge when you’re bottling up feelings. Making a conscious effort to focus on conversations that take your both out of your comfort zones is the key to discovering new aspects of your relationship.
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