INFP
Choose other type

Primary tabs

INFPs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the INFP's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the INFP as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The INFP may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between INFPs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

INFPs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the INFP initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the INFP, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the INFP's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the INFP's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

INFPs in Love

In relationships, the INFP is nurturing, empathic, and loyal. Healers select their friends and partners carefully, looking for a strong bond and congruent values. They are self-aware and often spiritual.

INFPs tend to be open-minded and accepting of another's behavior and preferences, so long as their core values are not violated. They support their partners' individuality, and encourage them to explore their interests and ideas.

INFPs look for ways to compromise and accommodate other people, and often have creative solutions to interpersonal problems. They can be very sensitive, but often keep negative reactions to themselves because they are reluctant to engage in confrontation.

Close and harmonious relationships are important to INFPs, although they also need a lot of independent time to think and reflect. They often want plenty of freedom to express themselves and pursue greater self-awareness. They value a partner who is committed and loving, yet provides them with the support they need to independently explore the mysteries of life.

INFPs as Parents

As parents, INFPs are caring, supportive, and adaptable. They rarely establish a strict or structured household, preferring instead to address problems and situations as they arise. They often allow their children a lot of latitude and influence in making decisions, and may leave the creation and enforcement of household rules up to another parent.

Children of INFPs often find that they have the freedom to express themselves and make their own decisions until they violate their INFP parent's values. When values are in question, the Healer parent becomes firm and inflexible.

INFP Communication Style

INFPs are gentle, encouraging communicators who enjoy exploring options and ideas. They envision possibilities for people and are often good at coming up with creative, flexible solutions to problems. They are typically attentive listeners who try to adapt their communication style to the people they are dealing with. Compassionate and cooperative, they tend to be appreciative of other people and their ideas, although they may be reserved about sharing their own closely held values and ideas with people they do not know well.

Primary tabs

Comments

ShyBoy11 (not verified) says...

Hi again!

I've written a comment here three weeks ago but I feel very hopeless so I'm writing again hoping someone would understand me.

I don't know what to do with my life.

I feel everyone thinks I'm spoiled because I don't want to accept responsibility for my life. It's partly true. 

I'm just scared. Paralyzed by my fears. Blockages in my head created by myself. I've convinced myself I'm not good enough. Capable. Smart. 

My life has become a burden to me.

I have to decide whether I want to continue my college or not.

If I leave college, I could do only low paid jobs. It would destroy me completely. I would lose faith in myself totally.

I already feel like a failure.

I hate my character. I'm so sensitive. Emotional. I'm too soft for negativity and cruelty of this world. I can't handle it.

I hate my imagination. I live there instead of reality. It's my escape where I can be whoever I want to be. Artist. Performer. Musician. Actor. Activist. 

In real life, those scenarios are just parts of my imagination. Unable to become realistic.

I can't escape from auto-destructive behaviour. I'm drowning in my own negativity and passivity. 

I've started to go to psychologist but I'm not sure if he can help me. No one can help me but myself. The thing is, I don't know how to help myself. 

I hate myself. My looks. Character. Sexuality. Life. Everything connected with me.

I just want to disappear. Like I've never existed. That's all.

Thank you for listening my rant.

Mimi (probablyINFP) (not verified) says...

I feel very similar. When life gets too hard the pull to just dissapear (into my thoughts and daydreams) from it all is getting too strong. Then, even the easiest tasks can feel uncomfortable, even emotional painful.

I find it hard to pick myself up and just work harder because my psyche doesn't function that way. It just tends to get exhausted and is too prone to addictions. It is hard to keep on going when your psyche aches.

Iamagirl (not verified) says...

I just read your comment and suddenly realized that i have tears in my eyes, because your situation is the same as mine i cant believe that someone is this much like me

I dont know what is going to happen about my university. I live in my dreams. i want to be famous cause i always feel that noone sees me. i feel im weak. im sensetive. i know im going to have health problems with my heart . I am suffering from erythrophobia and its killing me

I am 18 but i dont think im going to live as much as normal people

I wish I could go to a psychologist...

Forgive me if I had grammatical faults

Because im not advanced in the language English 

Jeneva (not verified) says...

I live with an INFP who has had a pretty rough past and deals with OCD & she has had to go to many councilors. Her life shows that it's possible to get past your past and other obstacles in the way. Life is not hopeless. Although it may seem that way some days or maybe even most days. One thing that helped my roommate & is still helping her was finding a job she enjoyed. We were just talking about it the other evening that she doesn't make much at her job, it's just enough to get by, but she's doing something that makes her happy & she wouldn't trade that for any high paying job. I know not everyone understands her, and I know I for sure don't always, but one thing I understand is her need to find something in life that makes her happy or that seems fulfilling to her personally. Even if it's maybe not what other people think she should do. 
I know for her, whenever she's struggling, it's always best to find someone to talk to about it. It helps keep you in the present & gives you a break from your own head. 
Feel free to send me a message if you ever want to!

Mj N (not verified) says...

Hey shy boy, 

You have to overcome your fears. Tell yourself that you are actually good at stuff. Stop putting yourself down. Once you come to peace with yourself everything will fall into place. I believe in you! I know you can do it. Fightinggg! 

20something living in Japan (not verified) says...

I feel the same pain for my whole life

I've just started my corporate job remotely and I feel negative and useless more than ever before although I understand how lucky I am to  be able to work from home

I just wanna say that you are not alone. Allow yourself to feel okay when you can't do things as you've imagined it to be. Try to go out and find a place where you can be yourself 

I know the slightest ray of sunshine saves INFPs and makes us feel alive and inspired!

 

Infp lady (not verified) says...

Shyboy- thanks for sharing your thoughts.  I'm a mom in my 40's and just learned that I'm an INFP.  I felt exactly as you did in my 20's.  Just know that it gets much better.  These are very difficult times.

I struggled with an identity and wanted to find the perfect job after college that incorporated art somehow.  I never found it.  Instead I worked in insurance.  If someone told this former fine arts major that they would be in insurance one day, I'd have been horrified.  But it wasn't bad.  In fact, I made some money and traveled the world.  It inspired me to paint on the side.  I was able to sell paintings as a hobby and live my dream. Painting sustains me when times get tough. 

 How is this relevant? Don't feel that you have to have all of the answers when you're young, nobody does.  So what if you don't find the perfect job.  Society puts too much pressure on young people.  As long as you pursue your hobbies and passions in some way, everything will fall into place.  
    Some more advice- try to get outside with nature, it's very healing.  It also helps to spend less time on devices, you'll start to notice your other interests.  Focus on putting one foot in front of the other each day to get things done (like college, you'll thank yourself one day) 

You are on this earth for a reason.  Pave your own path.  Don't change for others, you are unique and fine the way that you are.

SilverLining (not verified) says...

I can relate to living too much in my head. Like you, I'm feeling the effects from it - low confidence, judgement, feeling like the outside world is too overwhelming. I'm trying to find ways to act instead of thinking. Finding small things to do to get the ball rolling on the bigger things that seem too overwhelming.  Always thinking about how I feel about doing stuff is crippling me. For example, I want to walk more but I will talk myself out of doing it because I will imagine it will be too hot or too cold or too exhausting or that I simply don't want to see people. I focus on how I imagine it will feel and will decide not to do it. I've indulgedcmy feelings too much. So lately I have just been telling myself to start the action without thinking of the big picture and it's helping. I focus only on putting in my shoes and don't let myself think about any of the rest of it. I always end up going for a walk once my shoes are on. I focus on filling the sink with water, not about the drudgery of doing the dishes. It's actually working. I know it only would solve part of what you described but it is having a positive effect on me and I'm not feeling so stuck and frustrated. I'm using my tendency to overthink to come up with ways to trick myself into action. You're not alone or strange - there are lots of us that process things the same way and struggle. This little change is helping. 

Sarahmarie (not verified) says...

Did you ever stop to think it's the world we live in that is all wrong, and not you? Also, best advice I've ever been given: just because you think it doesn't mean it's true. It helps to know what IS true (God's Word) so when those thoughts come and go, that's ALL they do...come and go. Don't believe everything you think!!! Our culture doesn't place value on the right things, so it's pretty easy to feel worthless, even when you're just who you're supposed to be; you are golden! A child of God! And just as God planned for you to be. 

Imagirl (not verified) says...

I have been there, not with that much intensity. But i know how you feel. People constantly said to me "go to therapy". I hated it. I hated it every single time. Until i decided to go, I got medication and my life change. If you feel that the kind of therapy you are trying doesn't work, might not be the right one for you. I don't know much, but I have seen people doing cognitive therapy and that helped them so so much.

Obsessive negative thoughts drain all of you energy and self love, the perseption you have about yourself and everything about you. 

I know it's hard, but I believe in you. One day at the time, do baby steps. You can do it. It'll get better. 

You can do arts and another career at the same time, and it'll be ok. Don't waste opportunities that won't be back, finish collage. Studying even opens your thinking paths, it doesn't matter what it is you are learning. You have time, you can do collage and have more years to come to whatever you want to do. It might feel like a huge effort, but it will pay off. 

I know it's hard when you hate yourself, but the world needs what you've got. We are all gifted, and there's something you can give us. And there's so much good and beauty, you must know this if you are into arts. Even in sadness there are some bright beauty, even if not eveyone can't see it. Don't give up. Find whatever you love, even a little thing (I got a dog, also helps me a lot with responsability issues), there's always something that can keep you going and show you how much worth there is out there and inside of you.

You are enough and I love you.

Janita (not verified) says...

Hi.

 

I can relate to this right now. It's like a mood of my own. 

One thing. Let hope carry you. Always. Until its time. 

 

Regard, Jansz 

 

Yamaguchi supremacy says...

Soy una adolescente INFP y realmente, agradezco mucho cada consejo que encontré aquí, me han ayudado mucho, y a la vez, creo que ustedes necesitan abrazo. Merecen tener una buena vida y salir adelante, ¡ánimo!

hiarese (not verified) says...

hey, i want you to know you're not alone in feeling this way. i came to this website to be able to understand myself more so that maybe it'd help me be able to find something in me (or i dunno) to help myself and find my purpose/just something really (tbh idek what im looking for). when i read your comment, i related so hard to all the things you listed. it was scary how you were able to put my exact thoughts into words since im unable to find the correct words to describe how i feel. yet everything you listed is everything i feel. it also came at the exact time where i was looking for something to relate to / make me understand myself (hence me visiting this website). i honestly do not know what to do with my life and i hate thinking about the future because of it. what do i even do? i tend to go through my life one day at a time, always seeking for instant gratification in my imagination (so that's why i read a lot of fiction/watch a lot of films since they make me happy and transport me to a world so wonderfully different from this one). this has made me ignore the responsibilities of "real" life: school, family, etc. scary part is i can't find it in me to care. it's like i just conjure the bare minimum effort just to get through my "real" life and get back to the solace of my room, where i can read a lot, get stuck in my imagination, and ignore my responsibilities.

another thing that's bothering me: school. im still in hs, and im currently just going through each day. i don't prepare for the future; tomorrow is another day, as long as i can finish today, that's all that matters. i have no idea what course i'm going to take (both with college and my life in general). i want to succeed. i want to find a good-paying job. i just don't know how. or even if i can. same as you, i've conditioned myself to think i'm not good at anything. i could try but there would always be someone better and i'd constantly doubt myself and whether i can do it as well as someone else could. i don't trust in myself or my capabilities and always tend to go for the easier route and something that's within my comfort zone rather than fail when i try new, daring things. 

"sensitive" "emotional"? that's me. i envy everyone else's tenaciousness and determination; i want to embody those traits too. when people work hard for something they want and never give up despite numerous challenges? i really want to be that kind of person. instead, i'm the type to cry and hate myself even more the minute a single challenge trips me up. i cry when i fail exams. and yet, i don't do anything to not fail. i cry when i get frustrated when i don't understand the topics given. but that's all i do. i cry and i hate myself. i don't try harder. i give up. i don't even know if i have it in me not to give up. i hate my character too; i just want to have a mindset where i can take challenges, work to overcome them, and not break down over it. 

"no one can help me but myself" i know that too. and yet, why do i not do anything to do so? why do i ignore my real life responsibilities, instead opting for instant gratification in the worlds that i can create in my mind through reading, watching, etc.? i want to help myself. but i know that i can't. i don't have it in me for that. 

so yes, i feel hopeless and currently have no idea what i'm supposed to do with my life. i don't have the character/personality/mindset of someone who succeeds and makes a good life for themselves. i have the character of a loser who everyone pities but ignores because helping such a person would be hopeless. i desperately want to bring myself up but as i have said, i don't know how to or if i even have it in me to try. 

anyways, i'm sorry this turned into a rant of my own. i just want to let you know that you're not alone and i'm here if you need anyone to talk to.

 

Missy (not verified) says...

Shyboy 11.....you sound like you have a searching soul for truth...and nothing is that "one thing" you are searching for and it is making you feel terrible about your life and self.  I can tell you what will change your entire life forever...but you wont want to hear it.  The world is just going to get more difficult to navigate, and nothing is ever going to go back to the way it was.  It is probably going to be even more confusing.  The reality and security and stability we all want is only going to be able to be found in accepting that there actually is a God....who is 3 persons...Father, son(Jesus), and the Holy Spirit.  People have tried desperately to push away from this, but it doesnt make it less true.  Its all very basic...you have a God who loved you, created you, stuck you on earth for a short time so that you can either choose to love Him back freely...or not.  If you choose Jesus, repent , and start doing good and being good...when you die here on earth...you will truly end up living for all eternity with Him (them) .  For some reason people just hate that!  Anyway, Jesus is the one thing you have been missing...and didnt even know it.  Just talk to Him and its not hard.  In fact, its easy.  He already likes and loves you.  I hope you will so that you can get some hope and peace in your mind.

ShyBoy11 (not verified) says...

Hi, Missy.

Thank you for responding. I have to admit your answer has intrigued me. 

I was trying to connect with God few times in my life through praying but I couldn't. I can't feel connection with God. I feel like I'm pretending he exists but I can't convince myself in his existence actually.

Partly I think it's because of my sexuality. Religion isn't very supportive about homosexuality. I've convinced myself gay man can't be believer. 

Also, I can't separate God from Church as institution. I really don't like what Church does. 

I also think it would be easier for me if I have relationship with God but I've found some kind of comfort in other stuff like astrology.

Hope you'll understand.

 

mr. what zit tooya (not verified) says...

Hi Shyguy11,

First of all, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and I totally understand what you are feeling. 

I don't know how much of college you have left or anything but there is no shame in taking time off of school... I'm 21 and in college too, I took last semester off and it was the greatest decision of my life... Getting a long and healthy mind break but also knowing that you have something to look forward to next semester, a fresh start.  The break can be longer than a semester if you need it... College will always be there when or if you want to finish... and plus online classes are super awful and hard to focus on during this stupid pandemic.  And plus plus your mental health is the MOST important thing, much more important than a degree.  

Also journaling helps me get all of my endless feelings out on paper (or digitally lol its the 21st century)... And you don't have to keep the journals or docs you can delete them or rip them up or burn them if you are worried about someone reading them or something... I usually write whatever my mind is thinking at that moment, it doesnt have to be anything special, its just a place where you can just vent your thoughts and ideas and just vibe.  I keep all of mine and look back on them all the time because I can see myself grow and change on paper... Another thing to write is a list of little things that make you feel a little bit of happiness or joy or even just not as sad... things like driving around alone singing your favorite songs, or little things your friends or family members say or do that you love, or a movie that you love, your favorite dinner... stuff like that, even if they're cliché like my examples lol.

Anyways, please remember that you are SO young.  You do not have to have your whole life figured out yet.  Take your time!  Life feels so heavy and rushed all the time, especially at our age... its like "go to school for 12 years, graduate, and then go learn more" with no real break to find yourself.  I think we forget how young we are, that its okay to make mistakes, that everyone's "path" is different (as cliché as it sounds).  There is no rush !! You will figure it all out.  

Aurita Rey (not verified) says...

Hey! I totally get you, I´m just coming out of a very dark season. I felt very similar to you for the last 8 months and harder, the last 4 months (there is hope I promise). So I want to share with you what happened through this time, and how I'm getting out, hope it helps you in any way. So I'm 25 and through college I've had to drop school already two times for financial issues, every time, made me feel like I was failing in life, but through time I´ve come to learn that it actually was a huge blessing for growth and finding myself, what I love, and to develop a small business I own now. To this day, after 8 years I´m finally finishing this semester of college, it wasn't easy at times, but again, I think it taught me a lot to overcome new challenges.

On the other hand I have to tell you, I don´t know you, but I'm pretty sure you are great, there is so much potential and so much purpose in your life, so much light to share with the world. I know from experience, sometimes we feel like the worst people on earth, like we are super broken and different, and we wonder and punish ourselves on even feeling this way, but the truth is, we need to realize how great of a gift our life is to this world.

One of the things that helped me greatly was to talk to my mom about how I was feeling, it was hard for me because I hate to talk about this things but I realized I really was looping on a never ending darkness and really needed help so, in my case I told her how bad a daughter, a worker, a student I was feeling, like I wasn't fulfilling the standard,  and 1st she told me how all of that was a lie I was believing, telling me how she was watching the opposite, and also, she told me that I was just trying to reach an ideal of who I think I'm supposed to be but not really looked at all the beautiful things I actually am. That woke me up, and started making me find my way.

The other thing is I read a book "The four agreements' ' by Don Miguel Ruiz, I realized how I was damaging myself by how I talked to myself, every part I tried to make it my own and also made the commitment on the book to start changing my “agreements”.

Also let me share with you this Youtube channel: search for Ms Dory Linda, she is awesome, I found great help there.

I must tell you it's a process but I know you are very capable of going through it, overcoming it and reaching new levels of revelation for your life, every hard part of life brings growth, and I bet you´ll be able to live it and enjoy it.

Best wishes for you, and yeah! definitely, we are with you, you are not alone, we feel you.

(Also, it's not bad to feel as much as you do, it's your superpower, learn to use it)

<3

 

Amepe (not verified) says...

Hey i completely understand how you feel. Ive tried to accomplish so much in my life and as of right now nothing to show for it. I suggest doing one thing a day that declutters your life. Like a walk or clean a dish or make something or write something use you daydreams as an outlet. And i would think staying in college would be the best bet even if your grades are lower than you would like you should definitely try to finish the semester you'll feel a sense of relief when the semester is over instead of feeling like a failure. Im struggling with everything i just suggested myself but if you fail one day just try again the next. 

Jimmy s (not verified) says...

Well from reading instead of hating love these things I've felt the same way and still do at times but I'm always reminded that bro someone else is way worse focus them not me ps learn to love the imagination write it down and put it into action it's working for me 

 

A Kitteh (not verified) says...

I went into college to study Mechanical Engineering before I was tested as an INFP (dreams of space travel). There were numerous times that I was so lonely and miserable that I wanted to quit and retreat to some dark cave in the woods. But part of disciplne is accepting the pain and difficulty for the vision of something better. Now I am employed in my field and I have a beautiful home and family. Ultimately, you must decide who you are, accept the challenges of that path, and remain committed. You should not expect to arrive at the destination of you life quickly; Leonardo Da Vinci was 39 when he got his first noteworthy project. You must decide who you are, claim ownership of that person, decide what path is best for that person's continued existence and growth, and buckle down and remain commited when it gets tough. Only you can do this, but if you do this, you will find your place in this world.

friendtohelp (not verified) says...

Hi Shyboy11

thanks for sharing. I get how hard it can be to have so many difficult and soul-sucking emotions/thoughts and it can be excruitingly difficult to share them with people. Just want to let you know, you're not alone. This world sucks and its so hard to grow up in it. the transition from teenager to adult is honestly the worst period for humans in my opinion (other than puberty- yuck). There is a lot of doubt and confusion and fear and anxieties. You're not alone in feeling and thinking these emotions and thoughts.

It so good to hear you're going to someone for help. I would recommend keep going. It might take a while to connect with the person or perhaps they just arent the right person to help you and you need to find someone else who can- someone who understands you more. this process can be tedious and hard but it is so worth it when you feel comfortable and safe enough with someone. I must say i disagree with your point that only you can save yourself. Us humans are pack mammals by nature. we need others, need a community. We cannot save ourselves entirely- no one can. We need help from people around us and it is completely okay to ask for help. It is natural!

As for hating yourself. I discovered this trick a little while ago and it has helped me a bit. Whenever i find myself spiralling into negativity and hateful thoughts about myself (looks, personality, character)- I focus on one aspect that I do actually like. I like my eyes. I like that my sensitivity makes me a better listener and empathiser with others, I like that my imagination means that I'm not limited to reality- some people can only be a teacher for example, whereas I can be a musician, an artist, a superhero, an explorer, an activist. Some people are only limited to one world- we can venture into a thousand. It expands our empathy, our imagination- makes us better people, better artists- its also fun, as long as we dont forget to stay connected to reality. 

As for what to do with your life, there is another trick i can offer. 1. work out what you actually want to do in life (dont limit it to a career option)- what do you think is your purpose as a person in this world. 2. can this purpose be linked to a skill set that you have- something you are good at and enjoy. 3. can you get paid for this. 4. does the world need it? will it help the world or not? We cant truly know what career we will enjoy or be satisfy with until we try it. And if you choose a career and hate it thats okay! You can choose another career. I actually think its good to have more than one career for your life. Imagine 40+ years in the same profession- boring. Its okay to make mistakes, its okay to change your mind- this is part of being human.

None of us can disappear from the world as if we have never existed. If we do leave, the people we leave behind break a little. You might not love yourself at the moment but many people do- even if they dont verbalise it or express it in a way you notice. I wish our world expressed our love and gratitude for each other more- perhaps then everyone would be able to see themselves how other people do and come to truly love themselves.

Lasts thoughts- theres a quote I remember; 'if you're going through hell- keep going'. Everything ends, even hopelessness and doubt. so keep going.

I hope that helps Shyboy11

Nothing Noblet (not verified) says...

Is nothing real?  Why do I believe these blacktors, -John

elliethefirst (not verified) says...

Fascinating. Well you're absolutely right on the lowest income front. I have always been the lowest paid wherever i've worked and now i'm the lowest paid senior even though i just got promoted. going to leave and yes looking into becoming self employed too. far too sensitive to be around office politics and being treated like dirt. Deserve far more. I work way better alone.

Best of luck to all of you INFPs. The world was not built for our type. My only hope is that there's another world that is after this one! Protect yourselves!x

T (not verified) says...

Yes! Also an INFP. The older I get the more I feel that I was never meant to be on here on earth - I'm always wanting to go back home to my own alien land wherever that may be. This place is strange and the people so awful and fickle and sad no one is real. 

justjen (not verified) says...

Hey Ellie,

I feel your pain. I have experienced the same. Lowest pay, and extremely sensitive for traditional office politics with their backstabbing and coniving ways. I am presently working on starting my own creative business. 

I would have to say I do enjoy working alone, but I do even better with people who are caring, creative, and determined to have a positive impact on the world and create a world that values us.

Mariam alsabahi (not verified) says...

M.S

Meowmi (not verified) says...

Hi, I'm 27 and a INFP. I am currently at a point in life trying to be happy.

I quit my job last month and I'm mentally struggling. Everyday is a struggle. Making myself eat even tho I have no appetite. I get hungry but just cant seem to enjoy food like I used to. I've lost a lot of weight. And I cant seem to get it back up.

I live with my family, one of them gets a little abusive when ever she drinks. But things have been getting better. As a result, I have to deal with my anxiety & depression (Self-diagnosed, because going to get professional help will ruin my chances for a job prospect) Working in a corporate company was traumatising to me, the office politics and drama was a doozy. I am glad that I quit. I used to come home from work crying daily.

I worry about many aspects of my life. Money being the main one. I started a small home baking business recently but things are a little slow. I worry about my family's future bc pretty soon I will have to be the sole provider. I think being self-employed was a good thing for me, at least I'm not crying daily. But starting a business on my own is like being on uncharted waters. Will I be able to provide? is a question that I cant seem to answer

And being an introvert with 3 extrovert best friends do make me feel a little odd. I am happy to see my friends getting out there and find love or just having fun. I realise that sleeping around (thats what they are doing) isn't really for me bc I want to find my person and that bond. I dont know if I will ever find that. Am I being too unrealistic? I enjoy being alone but a lot of the times, I wish I have someone to unwind the day with and all that. Is it weird to be holding out for that one person? And what are the chances of finding that person? 

I feel like I've made many bad life decisions and at the same time I am a little happy of where I am currently. 

But all my worries are always bugging me. Up to the point where I would feel depressed. I keep telling myself, one day at a time. 

I'm sorry if I'm speaking out of topic. But seeing everyone being supportive is making me brave enough to talk about this. I've talked to family members and friends about my worries but they dont seem to see why I'm depressed or feel that way that I feel. Hell, somedays I find myself in bed with tears rolling down my eyes with no particular reason. 

 

Andrea suissi (not verified) says...

Hi you. just wanted to say you aren't alone both with your worries and your life style.
I feel I never fit this world and I'm often blocked by worries and responsabilities

Jiji (not verified) says...

I completely feel you. You're going to survive though. Like I'm going to survive. But let's hope we do more than to survive. I'm also desperate to feel fulfilled as well as be able to provide but to find the fine line is so difficult for me who feels numb about all the jobs now. I wonder who actually enjoys their jobs. I wonfer if I will ever love mine.

Let's get through this, as we're not alone.

Rainbow Meg (not verified) says...

I'm an INFP with depression and anxiety as well. If you think that you are suffering from those two diseases you really should seek out professional help, especially if the people around you aren't able to give you the support that you need. I think it is really easy for us to neglect our own needs and forget that our mental health is the foundation that the rest of our life is built on. If we don't care for and nurture our mental health it is likely to cause problems in other areas of our lives. A lot of mental health professionals work very hard to make their services accessible to people even if they work during the day. If they can't accommodate your schedule they can probably recommend someone who can. I even have a friend who gets counseling sessions through a popular messaging app. But even if you could only do a few sessions, counseling could provide you with some very effective tools for dealing with the kinds of feelings and situations you described. 

Julia_bln (not verified) says...

I'm basically on the same page and I can truly feel everything you said. 

I think it's necessary for us to embrace being that way, embrace not being like our extroverted friends who are taking things easy and don't seem to worry nearly as much as we do. We do worry a lot, we're so much more sensitive and we feel pain simply more intensely. But we're also able to feel joy and happiness in a way that most people cannot even imagine.

Doesn't mean that I'm not struggling right now, but I know that better times will come, they always do. 

Adelaide (not verified) says...

I'm an INFP and I resonate with all of what you said. I also don't want to be pushy with religion/Jesus, but it does help me, so maybe it could help you as well, if you were open to it. The whole corporate job situation is where I am at the moment. It's miserable. Also it's miserable that I can't seem to make up my mind on what I would rather be doing. I say you have already cleared a massive hurdle, in that you have a direction you know you want to go in. 

I hope it all works out!

Valerie (not verified) says...

I second getting closer to Jesus. It truly saved me

Katelynn (not verified) says...

It's crazy but I am the exact same way I feel you 100%. Let me tell you one thing that has drastically changed my outlook on life and how I handle it, and it was coming back to Religion. I was never really raised strictly but, my mother was so when it came around to her kids we were not raised like her, which meant ultimately we were believing in God but not necessarily a Religion. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, self-confidence, and I never really knew why. I dabbled in tarot and all that mess and it left me being awakened to the world and its deceitfulness to keep us fat, dumb, blind, medicated, sad/depressed, angry/short-tempered..yet still hungry to find that last puzzle piece. We live in an illusion and in a daze and some people don't see what's being veiled over our eyes and Thank God I have woken up. By no means am I trying to force my Religion on you but it sincerely has changed me. Just recently Jesus saved me from an abusive relationship, I honestly was scared for my life by the end of it. Now that I have come back to Christ I have come to understand anything that is not serving you and making you unhappy is evil and cursing you to be sinful, there is only love in the Kingdom of Heaven. So when I realize I am getting depressed, short-tempered with those around me I rebuke that and say "That isn't me" I deserve to be loved and happy what am I sad/angry for ?" I've learned to forgive and forget, who cares about wrongdoings done over short periods of time, our soul is eternal but this human life is short. All I am saying is if you're anything like me... which I am guessing you are INFP, don't waste the 1 life we have here in sadness, stress, and other stuff other than love and happiness, trust the plan of God for everything in your life is pre-planned so let go of worries, doubts and think about Heaven, Jesus, and God for they are perfection, there is only love there, no stress or worries. Just hold on a little longer and if you're not Christian look into Jesus and how he has changed people, even bringing non-believers like a Satanic high priest back to him. For the end of times is coming he has been whispering it in my ear and I want all my brothers and sisters to meet him, to feel his unconditional love, and come back to our home in heaven. God Bless. 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."      John 3:16

Valerie (not verified) says...

I can second this. I struggled all my life with the same. it wasn't until I fully leaned into God and read his word, got to truly see who Jesus is, that my life completely changed for the better. I feel like I've gotten closer to being a mature INFP if not already. It really really helped. And I of course am the same, I would never force my beliefs on anyone. It just feels wrong to keep something to myself that's helped me tremendously. Hang in there INFPs!

Myyyyyyy (not verified) says...

I am also an INFP, 28 years, Living far away from my family for almost 5 years. (studying)

I knew I was always different but didn't know nothing about my personality type and why I am the way I am.

Through reading (which I enjoy) I found out about the different personality types and I made the test.

From that moment on I came to understand my self a little bit more and have compassion with myself. I was always so hard on myself,

changed study field so many times because I couldn't find my perfect 'fit'. I was not happy doing things that other people (family/friends) expect me to do but I just did it because what else Am I going to do with my life?

But I started to put myself first, to listen to my heart, to my desires and accept that I am here by myself and I am responsible for my life and choices and that no one can determine my future (career) for me.

I am now very interested in numerology after seeing double numbers for months everyday.

Maybe you can do some research about it and find your lifepath number, read about it maybe you can get more insights and ideas about what to do with your life.

just remember we are all indivuals here, you are not here to live the life your family or friends want you to live, you have a purpose and try to

find or understand what that is.

You got your own back, Listen to your heart, We all make mistakes and that's the beauty of life because that is how we grow as a person and try not to make the same 

mistakes again and again.

you are still young and you have a life fulllllllll with opportunities. Do not give up on your dreams.

This is a beautiful time to learn more about yourself, to put yourself first and do what makes you happy.

Try some yoga at home and start journaling before bed or first thing in the morning.

Books are your bestfriends!

I send you lots of peace and love.. Stay strong! YOU GOT THIS <3

Sara Mak (not verified) says...

Stay Brave! You will get through whatever this is. INFP's tend to overthink to the point that we can choke on our thoughts. Take a step back for your own sanity. Also, by some of what your saying, it sounds like you are really depressed. I'm not sure why getting help would hurt your career but it is extremely important that you don't let depression get out of hand before you get help—take medication if need be because you need to eat(take care of yourself!). As for your relationship concerns, it makes so much sense that you want the special someone. I did too. They will come if you are patient and observant. INFP's are very caring people and pick the wrong partners sometimes, so don't ignore red flags when dating. Lastly, be unapologetically yourself, no matter what. Not everyone will get you. I wish you the best of luck!

Fati Conteh (not verified) says...

Wow, this is extremely refreshing to read. I don't know why I started feeling down, but I get on YouTube, I get distracted, start googling stuff. Don't remember how I got to my personality type, but then googled how many people have it. Or rather don't...Got hooked and now I'm here 😧 I'm so glad I accidentally found this! Woww, I've never resonated with so much feedback. I literally just turned 28 2 months ago. Due to 'family' I had to give up my apartment so I'm home with said family and it's kind of a lot. I care so much that I don't want to. I know I only have it so much time to enjoy my life until everything falls on me. My advice to you would be to get the support outside of home. You don't have to disclose anything like that to an employer and there's no database they can check. Unless you're looking to get a security clearance, but without decluttering and healing your heart that could be a more scary battle than need be. I say go for it and invest in you! 
Sending love from MD 🌱 I'm working on a podcast to share our stories girl! Hang in there! You are definitely not alone!!! You just inspired me so more because you were so courageous to share. Thank you! 

vanessa (not verified) says...

I completely understand. I've lost so much weight this year, on top of gut issues also dealing with some depression. I think we can be excruciatingly hard on ourselves and ruminate on all the negative in our life, especially when so much is happening all at once! Have you tried looking into a therapist to help you cope better with what's causing the depression? Mindfullness is also useful as others have mentioned. A huge keyword I keep hearing is PATIENCE. Our lives may be more unconventional and we may not be where we've pictured ourselves to be but try remembering just how far you've come. Quitting your job takes a lot of courage and is a step towards your true life passion. Don't let yourself ruminate on all the negative (oh I know how easy that can be).  Also don't beat yourself up on not finding a partner, its tough out there even for extroverts right now. Let this time be one of self-exploration in order to discover what it is you truly desire in life, what type of life is worth living for you. 

Jacob Roundy (not verified) says...

Hi, Meowmi, I am also an INFP and I can totally relate to your feelings of trying to find someone you can really relate to and share your feelings with and I don't think you should give up. You will be able to find someone who will love you just as much as you love them if you keep trying and moving forward. Don't sleep around like your friends are doing, that's not what true love is. True love is an emotional connection so strong that you want the other person to have more happiness than you. Feel free to email me at jacobroundy888@gmail.com and I'd be happy to listen to more of your feelings, and maybe we can just have a vent sesh together 😂

Hope you have a great day!

Jacob 

Ziggie (not verified) says...

Put ur faith in God........ 

Valerie (not verified) says...

Yesss it's the only thing that's truly helped me

Ralph Cham (not verified) says...

And that's my WhatsApp number +96176803526 i can relate with what you're saying in some way

Ralph Cham (not verified) says...

And that's my WhatsApp number +96176803526 i can relate with what you're saying in some way

Ralph Cham (not verified) says...

Hello hope youre fine my name is ralph cham from lebanon if you would like a whatssap friend that you don't know and would like to talk anything to him you are more than welcome 

Shannon (not verified) says...

I have the same personality type as you and everything resonates with me so much. I also too forgot to eat because of depression and lay in bed crying. I'm 25 so similar age except I'm a woman haha. I literally only know extroverts.. my whole family are and its exhausting to be honest I feel like I dont fit in with anyone or anything.Im also trying to be happy.....life is hard. 

Aaron B. (not verified) says...

Being unhappy and/or anxious can be very tiring. As an INFP, I need to keep moving to keep myself  from worrying.  We all handle our problems as they come to us, so there is no need to dwell on them days or moths before they arrive.  I developed hobbies and interests to occupy my mind and find more productive and interesting things to think about.  I also got involved occasionally with community service to help others.  It made me feel good about myself, got me in touch with others and gave me perspective on how bad life can really be.  Cheering others up cheered me up and made me more attractive to others.  I never relied on other people to make me happy because I knew they would always let me down (thery're human).  I love people, but I just don't rely on them. Avoid self pity at all costs. It traps the soul, attracts predators, and drives away the good people you need in your life.  A good companion can help and comfort, but a bad one will bring you down with them.  I find cats to be self reliant, nonjudgemental and affectionate. Finally, you may have deep seated issues that need addressed. Outside of professional help, I read a book that really helped me improve my life.  It was called "A New Earth" by Ekart Tolle. I'm not into pop psychology and I'm not saying it is, but that book really helped me understand my ego and the pain element that drove my fear and anxieties.  Once I stopped telling myselft the same sad, accusing stories, much of my attitude changed.  I haven't read a self-help book since.  I reccomend the audio version - it's nice how he explaines it. 

Love and best wishes, fellow traveler.

 

Emily Lazar (not verified) says...

Thanks for the book sugesstion Aaron! I bought it now and ca't wait to read as a fellow INFP.

Ski (not verified) says...

Hey...

I am an INFP too.

I went through something similar.  I would love to share what I have learned, Take some time for yourself, get things out of your head, Writing (Journalling/ Poetry) definitely works. Also, try breathing exercise and regular exercise (you know to keep moving) that will help you stay focused and active.

Keep pushing, You will be proud of your accomplishments! I promise!

Stay safe, Take care.

Regards,

Ski.

Lashaun (not verified) says...

Hello there Meowmi. I just want to say that I resonate with your message because I was in a similar position. First and foremost I wish you nothing but healing and prosperity. I am not someone with decades of life experience but I will give some of the help my counselor gave me (I am also INFP). There are several things happening in your life at once. You are overwhelmed and you have a lot of fear over your current circumstances so I suggest that you find a way to practice mindfulness. This can be as small as taking your time with a cup of tea, taking a few moments to walk outside and recall your senses, or journaling your thoughts. You seem to be going through rumination (repetitive thoughts) like I did when I couldn't eat due to anxiety and depression. To add on, my counselor taught me that rumination and exhaustion can lead to neurovegitative symptoms. Neurovegitative symptoms can include lack of appetite and a lack of control over one's emotions in major depressive episodes; it may be why you cry suddenly sometimes in bed. That was something I couldn't control as well. 
 

If you can commit more time to practice mindfulness everyday, even if it's just a breathing technique, you will start to feel better. Your appetite will come back when you start to give your mind some kind of relief. 
 

Also it's not a bad thing to want what you want. None of us were made to love the same way or live the same way. If you know that you want a committed relationship and want to wait for that person, have faith that when you're ready it will happen for you. Soon you will be enjoying your life so much love will come without warning. The last thing I wanted to say is that it is okay to have bad days. It's okay if you don't have everything figured out at 27. 
 

I hope this is not too much. I just can't help it when I see others in similar positions emotionally. Stay safe.

 

Share your thoughts

Truity up to date