Compatibility of INFP with INFJ in Relationships

Are INFP and INFJ personality types compatible? See how INFPs and INFJs get along in this guide to INFP/INFJ relationships. If you're an INFP in a relationship with an INFJ, discover how you'll communicate, interact, and relate to each other in daily life.

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How INFP and INFJ Get Along

INFPs and INFJs have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. As an INFP, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an INFJ.

As an Intuitive Feeling type, you seek deep, meaningful connection in your relationships. You want to truly understand what drives the people you care about and help them to be their best selves. You are drawn to people who seem to be sensitive, thoughtful, and idealistic, and prefer relationships that help you to grow and develop.

When relating to your counterpart, bear in mind that as an Intuitive Feeling type, they will tend to be highly idealistic about their relationships. They want authentic connections that reflect their true values, and they want to see who you really are as a person. Intuitive Feelers want to go deep, and revealing yourself to them is a worthwhile endeavor—once they feel they know you, they'll be a tireless cheerleader for your dreams and ambitions.

This relationship has great potential for a close and caring connection. You're likely to find many commonalities in how you think about things and approach your life. You both have a compassionate and idealistic nature, and even if you disagree on some things, you'll likely feel that when it comes to the important stuff, you're on the same page.

You share a dedication to your ideals and a commitment to helping others. Although you may follow different paths, fundamentally, your goals are the same: to make the world a better place. This shared ethic gives you the opportunity for a deep and lasting bond.

Conflict is unlikely between the two of you, because you are both inclined to imagine yourselves in the other person's shoes. When difficulties come up, you'll tend to approach them with compassion and empathy. You can often see another point of view, even if you don't agree with it, and you'll tend to try to accept your differences and get back to a harmonious equilibrium.

Although there are some common problems that can arise in INFP/INFJ relationships, it's important to remember that there's no such thing as a perfectly compatible pair in personality typing. Whether you get along with someone has more to do with your own self-knowledge and your sensitivity to your friend's needs and preferences—not some magic formula. Learning more about your own type with an in-depth assessment is a great place to start to build the self-awareness that is key to successful relationships.

Communication Between INFP and INFJ

Communication can be a challenge between any two people, and communication between INFP and INFJ personality types is not the exception. By being aware of the issues that often arise when INFPs and INFJs communicate, you can learn how to reach an understanding more quickly.

You and your counterpart share an abstract style of communication. Your conversations will tend to focus on your impressions, ideas, opinions, and theories. You may find yourselves discussing philosophy, the arts, the latest advances in science, or your ideas about how to make the world a better place.

You are likely to find one another interesting and stimulating to talk to. Neither of you is terribly interesting in recounting events in tedious detail or sharing dry facts without any context, and since both of you probably have the experience of getting stuck in such mundane exchanges with other people, talking to one another should be a refreshing break.

Although you share a similar general style of communicating, there is still potential for misunderstandings between the two of you. When working on projects together, you may find that you tend to discuss the overall goals, but neglect to hammer out the details. You are both inclined to talk more about the general idea, and less about the facts and practicalities. When working together to create a plan, make sure you attend to any details that need to be decided, and don't just assume you're on the same page.

"Still waters run deep" is an apt motto for both of you, and as a result, striking up a conversation may initially be a challenge. But if you can get through the awkward get-to-know you phase, you'll find rich and wonderful opportunities to share thoughts and ideas with each other.

You are both deep, intuitive, and reflective thinkers. You tend to be fascinated with complex ideas and enjoy exploring the meaning of things. Your specific interests may not be the same, but you share a way of thinking about things that is highly complementary. Although it may take you a while to get started, once you're absorbed in conversation with one another, you'll likely both find it fascinating.

INFP vs. INFJ Values

Values are intensely personal, and while an INFP and an INFJ can find common ground, there will always be some differences in what you hold dear. However, understand how your INFP approach to values compares with your INFJ counterpart's will help you to appreciate and overcome your differences.

You are likely to feel a strong connection with this person based on your fundamental similarities in values. You are both idealistic, humanistic people with a deep concern for other people. Neither of you is content to simply accept the injustices and cruelties of the world around you; you feel things deeply, and want to make the world a better, gentler place.

You are both highly empathetic and probably make plenty time in your lives to help others. You may have jobs that allow you to be of service, in education, health care, social services, or the like. Or, you may spend time volunteering for causes that are important to you. However you manifest it, it's clear from your lives that your ideals are important, and you'll tend to have an easy understanding of this priority for one another.

Your idealism is a wonderful commonality, but it's also a potential fracture point. If you agree on the details of right and wrong, you may almost appear to be thinking with one mind. If you don't, you may find it difficult to "agree to disagree" as you are both so passionate about what you believe. Although you're very similar people, your relationship can actually be quite explosive if you come across an area in which you disagree about what is right. You both hold your values very dear, and you want the people close to you to understand where you are coming from. If the two of you can't agree on an idea that's close to your heart, you'll both find that extremely upsetting.

Conflict between the two of you is doubly difficult—both of you prize harmony in your relationships and so any disagreement is going to be torture for the both of you. Luckily, you have powers of empathy that many people can only dream of, and you both tend to be creative in coming up with solutions to personal problems. Deep down, you both want closeness and connection, and because you have so much in common, your relationship is likely extremely important to both of you. Let your desire to connect be your guide—and use your empathy superpowers—and you'll find your way back from any issues that may arise.

One of your key values is flexibility and freedom, and this in an area in which you differ from your counterpart. While you take a relaxed, come-what-may approach to life, they tend to be a bit more serious and goal-oriented. They value stability and structure, while you'll gladly trade stability for your own freedom to do as you wish. They may sometimes feel that you simply aren't serious or driven enough, while you may occasionally find them seriously lacking in fun.

You may find you have some conflict about whether it's really more important to work hard and achieve, or relax and enjoy the ride. Remember, though, that there's a time and place for both these values. Hard work is certainly worthwhile, but naturally hard workers must also learn to unplug and enjoy life. And for yourself, while you're not likely to miss out on any of the fun in life, you may find that you enjoy more success in your career and other pursuits if you allow yourself to be influenced by your more goal-driven peers.

INFP and INFJ in Daily Life

Lifestyle is an under-appreciated—but extremely important—element of compatibility. Your values and ideals may coincide perfectly, but if you can't agree on how to conduct day-to-day matters, your relationship will always have friction. As an INFP in a relationship with an INFJ, you can expect certain issues to arise in your daily life. Discussing these in advance, and figuring out how to deal with them, will make things go much more smoothly as you develop your relationship.

The two of you are likely to share a general intellectual curiosity and interest in learning new things. Both of you tend to appreciate the value of culture, the sciences, and the arts, and while you may not share specific hobbies, you'll probably have interests that you can at least mutually appreciate.

For both of you, discovering new ideas is a lifelong pursuit. You'll probably share a mutual interest in reading, going to museums and cultural events, taking classes for fun, and other activities that allow you to learn and improve your minds. In fact, you may find that learning new things together is a great way to bring you closer.

You also share a low tolerance for the mundane. You both find day-to-day routine somewhat toxic, and you may find that your lives together involve frequent attempts to "shake things up." You may dream of traveling around the world together or quitting your jobs to start a new business. This mutual taste for adventure is stimulating for both of you, and helps keep things exciting between you. However, during the inevitable dull periods of your life together, it's likely that you'll both be a bit cranky. Bear in mind that keeping things novel and fresh is key to both of your happiness.

Organization may be a sticking point between the two of you. While you tend to be fairly relaxed about schedules, plans, and systems, your counterpart takes a more structured approach. You may find that disagreements arise over these fundamental differences.

If you share physical space, you may disagree over how clean, tidy, and organized it needs to be. Your counterpart will naturally feel more motivated to keep things in order, while you'll tend to have less of a need for organization.

You may end up feeling nagged or harassed by your partner's demands for organization, but it's important to remember that working on this aspect of your personality is a way of respecting who they are. Often, the more organized partner ends up taking on more of the shared responsibilities, simply because they're paying more attention to what needs to be done. This can lead to resentment and imbalance in the relationship. If you think of being organized as a means of showing respect or caring for the other person, rather than a chore, this may help you to feel more motivated.

Scheduling can also be an area of conflict for the two of you, as you like to leave things open-ended, while they prefer things planned and settled. Again, compromise is the key. The first step is to acknowledge that you have different approaches, and that each style has its benefits. Then, try to make sure your time together includes both scheduled events and free time for spontaneity, so both of you get a chance to be at your best.

You both get overstimulated by too much activity and both enjoy spending quiet time alone. You and your partner might often find yourself at home with takeout and Netflix, or even in the same room without actually talking to each other, and you’re both okay with that. You likely both have small but intimate circles of friends and there may be no great urgency to work your way into each other’s friendship circles as a way of deepening your own bond. Personal boundaries are important to you, and you respect each other’s personal space by default.

You likely share a slower pace of life and appreciate the need for down time to balance out the busyness. Neither of you feels a burning desire to attend party after relentless party, and it’s likely that you’re on the same page regarding the booking of your social calendar. The problem is that when you do make plans, it can be dangerously easy for you to talk each other out of them. Hiding away is not healthy or practical. If your relationship is a priority, one of you must bite the bullet and motivate the other to follow through.

Despite both being introverts, one partner may need more down time than the other, or you may have different social needs. It’s a balancing act to sync your calendars and maintain a balance between your respective needs. Communication is key, although that too can be challenging as you both tend to shy away from confrontation because it’s overstimulating. Acknowledge when you’re bottling up feelings. Making a conscious effort to focus on conversations that take your both out of your comfort zones is the key to discovering new aspects of your relationship.

Ready to take your relationships to the next level? Discover how your needs, motivations, and perspectives drive you in relationships—and how to avoid common pitfalls—with our scientifically validated TypeFinder personality assessment.

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