Are INFP and INTJ personality types compatible? See how INFPs and INTJs get along in this guide to INFP/INTJ relationships. If you're an INFP in a relationship with an INTJ, discover how you'll communicate, interact, and relate to each other in daily life.

How INFP and INTJ Get Along

INFPs and INTJs have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. As an INFP, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an INTJ.

As an Intuitive Feeling type, you seek deep, meaningful connection in your relationships. You want to truly understand what drives the people you care about and help them to be their best selves. You are drawn to people who seem to be sensitive, thoughtful, and idealistic, and prefer relationships that help you to grow and develop.

When interacting with your counterpart, be aware that as an Intuitive Thinking type, they will primarily be looking for an intellectual connection. NT types feel close to someone when they have a meeting of the minds, particularly when they are able to have a discussion that leads them to learn something new or think about things in a different way. NT types aren't devoid of feeling—they're human just like everyone else—but they're very much in their heads, and their relationships tend to start with a mental spark rather than an emotional one.

When first meeting this person, they may seem to you to have an interesting mind. You may be drawn to their way of seeing things and their unconventional opinions. However, there is a strong chance that they will turn you off by being too blunt, too brash, or too critical. Although you like to understand ideas, you don't get any pleasure out of tearing things apart—whereas your counterpart tends to feel that they don't truly understand a concept until they've done their best to destroy it.

You are values-driven, whereas your counterpart is logic-driven. Although you both like to analyze, your interest lies more with morality and ethics—how can this work best for people? On the other hand, your counterpart likes to reason things through objectively—does this make sense? Is it the most efficient, the most even-handed option? You may find that although you are drawn into fascinating conversations with this person, those same conversations tend to end in frustration as you simply cannot agree on what's important.

However, you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. Your sensitive, sympathetic nature may at times overtake you, leading you to make decisions that feel right but are not really the wisest option. This person, whose approach seems so cold at times, can help you to tune into your powers of objective reasoning and ensure that you are not letting emotions rule your life. In particular, they may help you to learn to be a bit less selfless, and to put yourself first when the need arises.

Conversely, you can help them learn that there are some decisions that simply defy logic. People like your friend are notorious for trying to quantify everything; this is the sort of person who might make a spreadsheet to decide who to marry. Your deep, thoughtful, and yet ultimately personal approach can show them that sometimes the best decisions are the ones that come from the heart.

Communication Between INFP and INTJ

Communication can be a challenge between any two people, and communication between INFP and INTJ personality types is not the exception. By being aware of the issues that often arise when INFPs and INTJs communicate, you can learn how to reach an understanding more quickly.

You and your counterpart share an abstract style of communication. Your conversations will tend to focus on your impressions, ideas, opinions, and theories. You may find yourselves discussing philosophy, the arts, the latest advances in science, or your ideas about how to make the world a better place.

You are likely to find one another interesting and stimulating to talk to. Neither of you is terribly interesting in recounting events in tedious detail or sharing dry facts without any context, and since both of you probably have the experience of getting stuck in such mundane exchanges with other people, talking to one another should be a refreshing break.

Although you share a similar general style of communicating, there is still potential for misunderstandings between the two of you. When working on projects together, you may find that you tend to discuss the overall goals, but neglect to hammer out the details. You are both inclined to talk more about the general idea, and less about the facts and practicalities. When working together to create a plan, make sure you attend to any details that need to be decided, and don't just assume you're on the same page.

"Still waters run deep" is an apt motto for both of you, and as a result, striking up a conversation may initially be a challenge. But if you can get through the awkward get-to-know you phase, you'll find rich and wonderful opportunities to share thoughts and ideas with each other.

You are both deep, intuitive, and reflective thinkers. You tend to be fascinated with complex ideas and enjoy exploring the meaning of things. Your specific interests may not be the same, but you share a way of thinking about things that is highly complementary. Although it may take you a while to get started, once you're absorbed in conversation with one another, you'll likely both find it fascinating.

INFP vs. INTJ Values

Values are intensely personal, and while an INFP and an INTJ can find common ground, there will always be some differences in what you hold dear. However, understand how your INFP approach to values compares with your INTJ counterpart's will help you to appreciate and overcome your differences.

The two of you share a passion for improvement and a belief that everything can always be made better. You both tend to analyze rather than simply accept the current state of things, and you're constantly wondering how creativity and imagination might make for a better way.

However, though you're both interested in change and innovation, you may differ somewhat in terms of where that energy is directed. For you, your interest in change comes from an interest in making the world a better place for people. You want to solve world hunger, educate the poor, and bring peace and happiness to all. Your counterpart tends to take a less humanistic approach, and is more likely to be interested in innovations in technology, the sciences, or the business world.

Though you'll often find their ideas interesting, for you, they may lack a bit of heart and and a higher purpose. When they tell you about the latest discovery in astronomy or a new way of analyzing the stock market, you may find yourself thinking, "That's all very interesting, but how does it really help anyone?" And on the flip side, they may find your ideas overly idealistic. It may seem to them that your head is full of sunshine and rainbows, and that you refuse to think about things critically or objectively.

You also have somewhat different values when it comes to relationships. You tend to be intensely interested in people and eager to find out what really matters to them. You are compassionate and emotionally engaged. Your counterpart tends to be somewhat more emotionally distant, and they'd often rather engage intellectually than emotionally. While you're likely to find this approach stimulating at first, after a while, it may leave you a bit cold. You enjoy a good intellectual debate as much as anyone, but for you, the real relationship starts when you talk about how you feel about things.

This person has the potential to help you gain a more well-rounded approach to how you see the world. Because you share a fundamental passion for interesting ideas and positive change, you can connect well on this level. However, your different approach for values creates an opportunity to learn from one another. You can help your friend to open up to the human side of things, and consider the impact of their ideas on the people involved. And your friend can help you to be a bit more hard-headed about your ideas, shoring up your creative idealism with a healthy dose of logic and reason.

One of your key values is flexibility and freedom, and this in an area in which you differ from your counterpart. While you take a relaxed, come-what-may approach to life, they tend to be a bit more serious and goal-oriented. They value stability and structure, while you'll gladly trade stability for your own freedom to do as you wish. They may sometimes feel that you simply aren't serious or driven enough, while you may occasionally find them seriously lacking in fun.

You may find you have some conflict about whether it's really more important to work hard and achieve, or relax and enjoy the ride. Remember, though, that there's a time and place for both these values. Hard work is certainly worthwhile, but naturally hard workers must also learn to unplug and enjoy life. And for yourself, while you're not likely to miss out on any of the fun in life, you may find that you enjoy more success in your career and other pursuits if you allow yourself to be influenced by your more goal-driven peers.

INFP and INTJ in Daily Life

Lifestyle is an under-appreciated—but extremely important—element of compatibility. Your values and ideals may coincide perfectly, but if you can't agree on how to conduct day-to-day matters, your relationship will always have friction. As an INFP in a relationship with an INTJ, you can expect certain issues to arise in your daily life. Discussing these in advance, and figuring out how to deal with them, will make things go much more smoothly as you develop your relationship.

The two of you are likely to share a general intellectual curiosity and interest in learning new things. Both of you tend to appreciate the value of culture, the sciences, and the arts, and while you may not share specific hobbies, you'll probably have interests that you can at least mutually appreciate.

For both of you, discovering new ideas is a lifelong pursuit. You'll probably share a mutual interest in reading, going to museums and cultural events, taking classes for fun, and other activities that allow you to learn and improve your minds. In fact, you may find that learning new things together is a great way to bring you closer.

You also share a low tolerance for the mundane. You both find day-to-day routine somewhat toxic, and you may find that your lives together involve frequent attempts to "shake things up." You may dream of traveling around the world together or quitting your jobs to start a new business. This mutual taste for adventure is stimulating for both of you, and helps keep things exciting between you. However, during the inevitable dull periods of your life together, it's likely that you'll both be a bit cranky. Bear in mind that keeping things novel and fresh is key to both of your happiness.

Organization may be a sticking point between the two of you. While you tend to be fairly relaxed about schedules, plans, and systems, your counterpart takes a more structured approach. You may find that disagreements arise over these fundamental differences.

If you share physical space, you may disagree over how clean, tidy, and organized it needs to be. Your counterpart will naturally feel more motivated to keep things in order, while you'll tend to have less of a need for organization.

You may end up feeling nagged or harassed by your partner's demands for organization, but it's important to remember that working on this aspect of your personality is a way of respecting who they are. Often, the more organized partner ends up taking on more of the shared responsibilities, simply because they're paying more attention to what needs to be done. This can lead to resentment and imbalance in the relationship. If you think of being organization as a means of showing respect or caring for the other person, rather than a chore, this may help you to feel more motivated.

Scheduling can also be an area of conflict for the two of you, as you like to leave things open-ended, while they prefer things planned and settled. Again, compromise is the key. The first step is to acknowledge that you have different approaches, and that each style has its benefits. Then, try to make sure your time together includes both scheduled events and free time for spontaneity, so both of you get a chance to be at your best.

You both get overstimulated by too much activity and both enjoy spending quiet time alone. You and your partner might often find yourself at home with takeout and Netflix, or even in the same room without actually talking to each other, and you’re both okay with that. You likely both have small but intimate circles of friends and there may be no great urgency to work your way into each other’s friendship circles as a way of deepening your own bond. Personal boundaries are important to you, and you respect each other’s personal space by default.

You likely share a slower pace of life and appreciate the need for down time to balance out the busyness. Neither of you feels a burning desire to attend party after relentless party, and it’s likely that you’re on the same page regarding the booking of your social calendar. The problem is that when you do make plans, it can be dangerously easy for you to talk each other out of them. Hiding away is not healthy or practical. If your relationship is a priority, one of you must bite the bullet and motivate the other to follow through.

Despite both being introverts, one partner may need more down time than the other, or you may have different social needs. It’s a balancing act to sync your calendars and maintain a balance between your respective needs. Communication is key, although that too can be challenging as you both tend to shy away from confrontation because it’s overstimulating. Acknowledge when you’re bottling up feelings. Making a conscious effort to focus on conversations that take your both out of your comfort zones is the key to discovering new aspects of your relationship.