ENFJ
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ENFJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the ENFJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the ENFJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The ENFJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between ENFJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

ENFJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the ENFJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the ENFJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the ENFJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the ENFJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

ENFJs in Love

In relationships, the ENFJ is helpful and enthusiastically supportive. They are motivated to understand their partners and to do what pleases them, and are sensitive the the emotions and reactions of their mates.

ENFJs make great cheerleaders, and will encourage their partners to develop and explore their potential. They are engaged and ready to help, and look for opportunities to support their mates in their accomplishments.

ENFJ partners want harmony above all else, sometimes at the expense of their own needs. Conflict is upsetting to ENFJs, and they often avoid it. ENFJs are very sensitive to criticism and can become highly emotional and even punishing when their feelings are hurt. However, they have great insight about people, emotions and motivations; they are often able to put this talent to use in resolving things.

The ideal mate for an ENFJ appreciates their compassion, support, and dedication to helping others, and makes an effort to understand the ENFJ's feelings and values.

ENFJs as Parents

As parents, ENFJs take an active and enthusiastic role in guiding the development of their children. They enjoy teaching their children the ways of the world, and set forth clear ideas of right and wrong in a warm and supportive way.

ENFJs have high expectations for their children, and often envision bright futures for them. They have an interest in their children's potential and want to inspire them to develop it. They can sometimes idealize their children, becoming disappointed when they don't live up to expectations. They may take their children's misbehavior personally, feeling that they have failed to instill their own strong values.

ENFJ Communication Style

ENFJs are warm, compassionate communicators who show enthusiasm for other people and their ideas. They want to understand what is important to others so that they can take action to improve the situation for all involved. ENFJs readily give affirmation and support, making sure that people know that their ideas are valued. They are good at connecting with a variety of people and creative in coming up with solutions that accommodate others’ needs. They are often natural teachers and mentors, showing others the way and helping them to improve themselves.

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Comments

Pria L. (not verified) says...

I remember listing the fields I am interested in (as I'm an incoming senior high student here in the Philippines). I always thought it was so bizarre because the courses I'm interested in were so different with each other. But when I found out that I was an ENFJ, I found an answer. I am still undecided but I knew I wanted to help others, make a positive change. I just couldn't convince my mother enough. I am the breadwinner of our family and also the first born. I understand she wants me to have a stable job in the future. But anyways, I am happy to know about other people with the same type as me!

Danielle Salomon (not verified) says...

My sister's an ENFJ. It really helps me understand her better. (I'm an ENFP or an INFP, not sure what's what)

Bri the Health Coach (not verified) says...

I love reading this. It was incredibly spot on. So cool!

Helen perry (not verified) says...

Hello fellow ENFJ's… Taurus’… Indecisive people… ! :D

I’m currently working in customer service but am thinking of re-training to be an Art Therapist, Art Teacher or Interior Designer. I have experience in working with interior designers (selling/designing bespoke rugs for them) but am worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress of overseeing a whole project.

I doubt my people skills with all these roles as I am borderline introvert depending on my mood/confidence level, and feel I sometimes lack authority, but I would love a job that combines creativity with helping people.  

I am 25 without a degree and it increasing looks like I should go study for one…

Any pointers?

Tessa (not verified) says...

Hell Helen, I am also a ENFJ and taurean and I am about to embark on my Art Psychotherapist training after many years of a break from studying for my first degree.  I recommend you look into progressing to a degree and although I have yet to begin my course, I am currently educating myself on the concepts of Art Therapy and I find it very interesting and suits my personality perfectly. Maybe it would be an idea to find out about courses available to you and if the career opportunities are what would suit your ambition.

Faith (not verified) says...

This is me!!! Omg! It's scary how everything is correct!

Dominik (not verified) says...

Ya .for me exactly the same .All is true about me .When i find out i am enfj i relise why i am how i am .

Thea says...

Wow...I thought that there are a lot of people that are ENFJ because I think many people I know fits this description but it's really sad to see only 3% of the general peopulation is ENFJ

Tula (not verified) says...

I really feel it is the best description of me. I am sad that % of us ENFJ is so small. 

I am currently a trainee nurse. Working mostly at AED until I qualify as nursing assistant. I am glad my tough career choice is a right one 😍 Especially at moment. 

My cheers to all ENFJ s 😍  You are amazing x 

Edward Evans (not verified) says...

Cheers to you too! It appears that ENFJs are so rare, I know only a friend who is also an ENFJ like me and we are pretty close to each other. It's hard to find another ENFJ now.

NR_BW (not verified) says...

I'm an INFP and my best friend is an ENFJ and I love her SOOOO much! she is so understanding and doesn't hold me back from my crazy imagination. so to all you out there if you meet an INFP be they're friend, they NEED you!

~an 16 year old INFP

UwUArt (not verified) says...

Omg I realize that this is totally true, and I'm an ENFJ and my best friend is an INFJ and she sounds JUST like you! With the wild imagination and all.

 

WHY WEIRDY (not verified) says...

Im ENFJ and what they say about me is ALL TRUE 

WHY WEIRDY (not verified) says...

FACTS!!! THIS IS SOOO TRUE

Gary Gatlin (not verified) says...

WOW!!!  This scary accurate!!!!  If you had listed also library in the hobbies...everything listed is so me...thanks 

Dietitian Roberta says...

Subject: Body Shaming

I'm a registered dietitian working in the weight-loss field. I use type as a way to help people lose weight in a way that is comfortable for their type.  Asking, say, Perceivers to keep a food diary could possibly set them up for failure.  But considering who they are can help them address the issue more sensitively.

Right now I'm concerned about all the body shaming that is occurring, especially on social media.  I'm trying to figure out where type fits into that.

Our population is the heaviest it's ever been. There is now 67% of the population who is either overweight or obese. There is a lot of body shaming happening today.

Do you think it's just because of the anonymity of social media, allowing people to say whatever they please, that we're seeing more body shaming? Do you believe there are certain personality types that would tend to do the body shaming?

What personality type do you think would react to body shaming by eating more to pacify the hurt felt?

Thanks for your input.

Bri the Health Coach (not verified) says...

Hi Roberta!

I am a health coach, working one on one with people to change their diets and lifestyles. I too see a lot of body shaming, but I think it is a multi level issue. I think body shaming has been prevalent in our society long before the internet. (Think pin up girls of ww2). I think that social media gives people who feel terrible about themselves an outlet to try to deflect that negativity into others without physical confrontation. I also see, in every single one of my clients, that they body shame themselves. It is heartbreaking and usually requires some intense internal work for my clients to make even a small shift away from this thought pattern. Again, I feel that this has been ingrained in people throughout the ages in our society. I believe every personality type has the potential to be a victim to this, either as someone who feels the need to bully others or as someone who feels they have to self loathe. I work to fix this every day. I hope this answer helps!

Flora - high school senior (not verified) says...

Hello Roberta, as a teenager that is very active on social media platforms like Instagram and Snapchat, I do believe a large part of body shaming is from the anonymity but i also know that has very little to do with why they body shame. I think body/beauty standards are ridiculous now and everyone who does not fit the mold is seen as "big" or out of fashion. Even people that are perfectly fine and healthy will see a reason to change themselves. Also, it is known that most insecure people perpetuate their own self loathing thoughts to others and social media is the perfect platform to do so. Modern day life is a breeding ground for this toxic behavior.

feni (not verified) says...

fellow enfj, i have 2 brothers that are infps who are morbidly obese, and a esfp mother who goes to overreaters anoymous classes, also morbid obese. i went into a depression and myself gained +100lbs. ive been making better health choices and not taking medications for depression ive now lost 80 lbs and ive been trying to get them healthy as well. Now i want to be a dietitian too lol. my dad "anytype" of shamed my mother, and she pacifies her unhappiness with eating, she wont acknowledge it as that and prefers the label and the connection. Eating and indulgence became a coping mech, i have no clue what my fathers personality is, but he is old school "call it as i see it" but just calling people fat to motivate is hard on infps. Im a millenial, and video games had alot of us in the house for longer periods of time and there was definitely the urge to hide from shamers as shaming was SOOOOOO common in those days, so id say, any type with a  Se - external Sensing as a third or forth function, or any type that jumps to those traits in bad times  will be the types to shame. The internet causes alot of people to participate unfortunately and some will do it just to connect to others especially with anonymity, so yea any type can do it if they are introduced to it. i havent opened up in a long time lol

Betazoid (not verified) says...

While certain personality types do gravitate toward certain clusters of mental illness, it's important to keep the two separate -- e.g., anyone of any personality type can suffer from bipolar or schizophrenia or anorexia.  There's a lot more going on with any given mental illness than PT such as family history, peer influences, genetics, possibly even things like food allergies.  That said, I think the personality disordered are most likely to be openly critical and devoid of empathy for others, as a general rule.

Regarding your question about fat shaming: I think a lot of it, sadly, is just typical social primate behavior.  One person does it and then others pile on. The big monkey hits the smaller monkey on the head because the big monkey can, and for no other reason.  It's a power thing, in part - it makes the big monkey feel strong and may have the side benefit of causing others to either admire the big monkey's strength, or at least to fear the big monkey. 

The Online Disinhibition Effect magnifies it, no doubt. Most people, being innately emotionally lazy, will say things online that they would never in a million years DARE to say to someone's face.  That and text is generally a terrible medium for communicating about anything fraught or sensitive because it strips away all facial expression, all body language, all tone of voice... all the things that help to humanize our interactions and help us to correctly discern someone's intent and motive in what they're saying.

It's also human nature to value the rare more than we value the common. These days it is rare for people to be slim, so slim people are seen as more attractive. In times and places where there was extreme scarcity, being plump was desirable and being too slim was seen as unattractive, so some of it is cultural.  In current Western culture, it is implied that anyone who is slim has their life under control, perhaps becasue others assume the slim person exercises a certain amount of dietary restaint (be it in amount, frequency, food choice, or some combination of the above), works out regularly, etc.  We admire in others what we like about ourselves and sometimes what we feel we are deficient in ourselves.  The ugly flip side is that we mock and despise in others what we fear in ourselves. When we see someone who is significantly overweight, we see someone out of control, and that makes us uncomfortable, because we fear that WE could someday be out of control.  My two cents. I hope it helps.  :-)

Jessica Jackson (not verified) says...

The people who tend to do body shaming or any type of internet trolling are disordered personalities in the Cluster B Personality Disorder group.  Covert narcisissts amd sociopaths come first to mind.  

Isabella T. (not verified) says...

Greetings Fellow Protagonists!!!!

I always thought I wanted to be an engineer b/c it sounds so interesting! But I guess I'll either be a nurse practitioner or perhaps a sales manager or maybe something completely different. Good thing I'm only in high school and not college!!! Everyone always told me I would be a great teacher so I might do that. 

Is it just me, or are all ENFJ Protagonists indecisive?

Jenna LC (not verified) says...

Why not still be an engineer? Or use skills similar to engineering. I just got my mechanical engineering degree and am now going to pursue a masters degree in animatronics. I found a way to make engineering better fit my creative personality. Go Enfj!!!

Elizah L (not verified) says...

Yes. The description listed above fits perfectly well but im also on engineering field. I’m happy to find one too! 

October J (not verified) says...

Yes, but we can be so unique we come off as weird. (Weird according to society) I was soooooo indecisive i never went to college but i went into the food industry as a waitress and bartender. Loved loved loved it......endless people to talk to AND learn from. I was definitely ready to move on and fate got me a job as a Prek. I fell in love. Its tough but rewarding. Children arent as judgemental either so I was able to b my rambunctious self. Everyday has a goal but we have flexibility in how we teach it. I got 

John Paul P. Caña says...

I am an engineer for 28 years. Just found out that Im ENFJ. The evaluation does reflects most about how I do and tend to do and be/tend to be. 

Sharon says...

If you want to be an engineer, go for it! My husband has been an electrical engineer for 23 years, and he just found out he is an ENFJ. Engineering, depending on the company and industry, can be a very high-energy, creative, social job (lots of meetings), and he is a smart, social, high-energy person. It has been a good fit for him--I'm proud of him and grateful for the opportunities he's had through his work. It can be a very stressful job though, intense pressure--but so is being a teacher. I say, do what interests you most!

Rexy (not verified) says...

Don't let these tests and stuff tell you who you are. Nothing says you can't be an engineer if you really want to and find what you enjoy about it. :) 

Cautiously optimistic urbanist says...

I'm an ENFJ and I'm a landscape architect. Landscape architects are involved in everything about people and how they interact with the outside world. Somedays we're psychologists, other days we're horticulturalists, other days we're land planners deciding how to lay out an entire 300 acre parcel of land in the best way to help people thrive. If I were to provide one example generally from my experience of the difference between a civil engineer and a landscape architect using a parking lot as an example; an engineer is concerned with how many cars can fit, how rain water will be handled, and what base materials will be used to ensure the driving surface doesn't collapse. All important things for sure. A landscape architect looks at a parking lot and asks, how will the people get safely from their car to the front door of the building, we include many trees to make the space comfortable and beautiful, and how can we make something as innocuous as a parking lot, beautiful and inspiring to the humans that will use it. Both disaplines are important, but if you're about people, landscape architecture may inspire you more than engineering.

CJ34 (not verified) says...

I am indecisive too!

Kat (not verified) says...

I am also a protagonist type and an engineer! It’s feels like a great fit, so I would say go for it!

Don Tal (not verified) says...

Sometimes I can sense people think I am manipulative where I feel bad that people think I am this way. I even try to explain myself most of the time and say it's just me thinking this is best for everyone but I still overthink if I was right or making execuses.  After knowing my personality traits are ENFJ I feel I should be proud and be more committed to helping others and keep doing nice things for the greater good of the community. Thank you for making my day!

Raquel (not verified) says...

I'll be honest -- I think ENFJs can be a bit manipulative (myself included) but usually with altruistic intentions. Teaching people, encouraging people, being the cheerleader all requires the skill of being able to affect how others feel. I know I use what I know about the motivations and values of my audience to engage them when I'm teaching or leading a team (I work in Higher Education). "Manipulative" has a very strong connotation and it can be weaponized and/or used for self-serving purposes. But when we look at the four strengths listed (peacekeeping, communication, persuasiveness, and leadership) -- to be successful in any of those endeavors requires leveraging the emotions and values of others toward your own goals, no matter how altruistic those goals are.

Once I accepted that about myself, I was able to start being more reflective and careful about how I try influence others.

laurie lee seale (not verified) says...

regarding ENFJ's as manipulative. I"m an 18+ year Spiritual Teacher/Life Longevity Mystic. I inspire people to attain their ideal 'waist' not weight size by teachign eating for life longevity and raising their emotional IQ so the pain of the past is metabolized through higher consciousness. I am inordinately successful. almost mystically so. I have worked w/o web site, or any social media presence, and with a FLIP PHONE, for 18+ years doing this. My business comes from word of mouth or people meeting me. RE: manipulative. I spent 15 years in advertising prior to doing this career and 100% i'd agree my job was to manipulate people to consume more of anything. I had a 3rd degree concussion accident on my bike. Spent 4 hours unconscious - and had an out of body experience. When i came to, my life took a radical turn. From a salary of  220,000 VP of Marketig in my early 30's to leaving Advertising and desiring to serve God and humanity to alleviate suffering. i authored a book in a week. It was published internationally. To a salary the first year of self employment at 35,000. That salary grew as my base of influence and client list grew. Money became irrelevant. Some years i make 6 figures other years i make 50,000. And every person that comes to me raises their hand and says, i need help healing msyelf healing my soul, I welcome with open arms. And my motivation is 100% toward their healing. and connecting through heart and love with the foundation of the knowledge i have to read energy, minds, and alleviate their suffering. So can ENFJ's be manipulative? yes. The opposite side of the coin is inspirational. Depending on where there heart enegy is will determine their motivation. I serve humanity and a higher power. And give to my clients far more than what i am paid to do. And transform them into the energy of love and wholeness we all are. Did Jesus manipulate? Ghandi? Mohammed? or did they inspire greatness? When we (ENFJs or any type for that matter) come from our heart chakra, and our guided by our 'I am' Self and not the 'self' of ego, anyone ENFJ or otherwise can be world transformative. Allow yourself to be guided by love, altruism and manipulation does not even enter the conversation. When the Self becomes fearless and grounded both running energy from Mother Earth through to the Crown Chakra and running energy to Collective consciousness, you have a person grounded in being a human 'being' that is loving and here in service giving and sharing the gifts they have. We can often do the impossible, that others can not do, b/c we are indefatiguable in our quest for exceptional. And tireless. And renlentless in our belief of others. Ask not what your country can do for you, but what can you do for country. Where you shine your light through, money - power - or benevolence, love, vision will determine whether our social contact is manipulative for power 'over' someone, or loving in 'partnership' with another. 

Ang (not verified) says...

My husband tells me I am manipulative. It kills my heart because that is not my intent.

Kelly (not verified) says...

Hello I am a fellow protagonist. It concerns me that your husband thinks you are manipulative. I was in a mentally abusive alcoholic husband for 20 miserable years. After 20 years you should know someone. Nope not him. He accused me of so many things that are just not in me to do as a person. But everything he accused me of being was everything he really was himself. So happy free at last. Protagonist loyal to a fault. If you are in a similar unhappy marriage please get out. I am finally happy with the love of my life. I let him go and so grateful he forgave me and we are so incredibly happy together. We are all about self and personal growth. The only thing I learned from my ex was tolerance. My love has taught me more lessons of value that I don’t believe anyone else ever could. Thank you and be happy ❤️  

Your Friend (not verified) says...

To be honest, ENFJ's tend to be manipulative. I have been even when thats not me generally. Don't get me wrong, we don't want to be manipulative but if we hold values really high and the other person is not on board, I'll do everything to get him on board even if it needs manipulation. It's not too bad sometimes but yea we generally are really helping and not manipulative with an intent.

rocky rococo says...

this test explains my personality perfectly and it was very accurate. thank you truity!!!! ;)

rocky rococo says...

I'M AN ENFJ!!!!!

sandra Johnson (not verified) says...

WoW this was like looking at myself in the mirror..ENFJ. i have never read anything more accurate about my personality. is this related to my star sign Taurus. Wonderful 

Chad Maverick (not verified) says...

yo I'm also an enfj and a Taurus! Fantastic combination in my obviously biased opinion but yeah idk how much correlation there is.

unknown (not verified) says...

well its some i dont like but im also and ENFJ

Maz (not verified) says...

I think this is true to me in some regards, however, people are complexed because of environmental, economical and upbringing, they help shape us. But I resonate with this as apparently I’m a ENFj. I know my strengths and weaknesses but above all I wish to be is authentic, understanding of everyone as an individual because well all are. Ultimately I want to show compassion and empathy. I really do wish to be helpful and help wherever possible but I don’t want to be a doormat either. 

If everyone could try to see the others perspective that helps, even if you can’t do anything about theirs. I think I can be too deep, but I’m always searching to be a better person and learn from my mistakes. 

I just wish everyone well and happiness in their life’s as long as it isn’t harming anyone. 

Peace out, from an apparently ENFj 👍

Bang Tran (not verified) says...

Hey Maz, I really do relate to what you said as an ENFJ. I wish to become the best possible version of myself too, constantly trying to learn new things that are good for me and good for others. I can also relate to the point you made about being as authentic as possible while still be kind to others. I'm also afraid of talking to people too much that I may come across as needy. Seems like some ENFJs think in very similar ways :)

Yotam (not verified) says...

I'm ENFJ/T, I'm also an electrical engineer and I love my work! In fact, I'm doing my third degree now. Sure, I love working with ppl - but I also love working on tech that will make the world a better place. Especially in the fields of power and control. I also like building gadgets. And yes, usually I make gadgets which help others.

Why would anyone not want to study and implement what he knows, to help others and better the world? Electrical Engineering gives that to me.

Pama (not verified) says...

Hi, I'm an ENFJ-T too! And I'm electronic engineer, I work in control system doing troubleshooting! I love my job too, I can use my intuition in order to solve some problems with the software or logic or strange issues in the system and I can help to the customers because I'm part of the support L2 team 💕

amy (not verified) says...

WOW, I was concerned when I saw how rare we are. We make up 3% of the population.  How interesting...good to feel at home I GUESS!! REMEMBER WE NEED TO KEEP PUTTING OUR FOOT DOWN AND NOT LET OTHERS BULLY US!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelly (not verified) says...

Yes and very happy to be of a rare breed that can be bent but not broken. And be grateful for the bend because of the learning experience and growth. 3% and proud to be real. 

Alivia N. says...

I know! I was in completely awe when I saw that number. I guess we are a rare kind of awesome!

Yololo (not verified) says...

I’d say these traits are spot on, although I consider myself an INFJ/ENFJ hybrid. I’m studying Speech Pathology as a career and am loving it so far! 

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