As an Intuitive Feeling type, you seek deep, meaningful connection in your relationships. You want to truly understand what drives the people you care about and help them to be their best selves. You are drawn to people who seem to be sensitive, thoughtful, and idealistic, and prefer relationships that help you to grow and develop.
Are ENFJ and ISTJ personality types compatible? See how ENFJs and ISTJs get along in this guide to ENFJ/ISTJ relationships. If you're an ENFJ in a relationship with an ISTJ, discover how you'll communicate, interact, and relate to each other in daily life.
For a personalized look at your relationship style across 23 facets of personality, plus in-depth advice on maximizing your strengths in relationships, check our our scientifically validated TypeFinder personality assessment.
How ENFJ and ISTJ Get Along
ENFJs and ISTJs have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. As an ENFJ, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an ISTJ.
The two of you have some very fundamental differences in how you see things, and this can make getting along a challenge for both of you. That's not to say you shouldn't be friends; in fact, you might find that spending time with this person introduces you to ways of thinking that help you learn and grow. But this relationship will not be without its frustrations.
Fundamentally, you are concerned with people, relationships, and values. You are a highly idealistic person and are always looking for opportunities to make the world a better place. You empathize easily with others, and you often feel their suffering acutely. But you never accept suffering as a fact of life; to you, we all have a responsibility to change, improve, and become better than we are. You can easily imagine a better world, and you enthusiastically embrace change when you see it as a positive move forward.
In contrast, your counterpart puts a high value on tradition and stability. It's not that they don't care about people or making the world a better place, but they tend to be suspicious of change in general, and they rarely see it as a solution for anything. They tend to believe that the best way to serve people is by keeping things consistent and predictable, and they may find your ideas for overhauling established systems odd, unnecessary, and disruptive.
If you've tried to share your dreams and vision with this person, you've probably noticed their distinct lack of enthusiasm. They're not trying to be negative; your counterpart simply doesn't have your talent for visualization. If they haven't seen an idea work in practice, they're probably not very excited by it. This can frustrate you to no end. At your worst together, you'll tend to view this person as dull, stagnant, and unimaginative. They'll see you as flighty, unrealistic, and impractical.
So what's the upside? The same things that irritate you about one another are also opportunities for learning. Yes, you have wonderful ideas, but you also truly can be a bit impractical. This person can help you think through the realities of your ideas so that you're better able to actually make them happen. And for your part, you have an opportunity to get them out of their rut and help them imagine possibilities for a better world. If you play it right, they may actually become enchanted with your creativity and wide-eyed idealism.
This person tends to prefer a slower, calmer pace in social interactions and life in general. They may find your energy level exhausting, especially when you are excited about something. Be mindful of their energy level, and don’t take it personally if they need some time to themselves.