The perfect holiday period looks different for everyone. For some who type as Extraverts on a Myers and Briggs personality test, it might be a calendar filled with social events, meeting up with friends and family and getting into the holiday spirit with big crowds and parties. For Introverts, it probably involves more time enjoying the calmer aspects of the holiday season, with plenty of time for reflection.

Getting the balance right over the holidays is really important, especially if you have a mixture of Extraverts and Introverts in your household. For Introverts, the holiday season will probably involve some compromises as Extraverts push for a busier, more sociable calendar.

Read on to find out how Introverts can help Extraverts during the holidays, whilst looking after themselves at the same time.

Go with it!

For Extraverts, the most wonderful time of the year is usually punctuated by a frenzy of different social engagements. From holiday gatherings, to work Christmas parties, and family get-togethers, there is a whole host of opportunities to be super sociable during the holidays. 

This is one of the highlights of the holidays for many Extraverts. For Introverts, the constant socializing can get tiring. However, if you’re looking for ways to support the Extraverts in your life, this is it.

Throwing yourself into holiday activities is a great way to get behind the Extraverts you care about and help them get the most out of the holidays. Embracing the crowds, the conversation and the collective holiday cheer, even if it’s not at top of your list, will make a big difference to Extraverts.

Make an extra effort

In the spirit of the holidays, it will also mean a lot to the Extraverts in your life if you make an extra special effort at social events. This is especially true when it comes to meeting family, friends and colleagues for the first time. Whilst big social gatherings can be tough on Introverts, try to be as chatty and sociable as possible!

If you find yourself dreading social events, remember that your Extraverted friends and family really want you to be with them. They’re keen to show you off to their friends and introduce you to all the important people in their life. Though it can be tiring, not to mention daunting (!) this is a gesture of love and friendship from the Extraverts in your life.

Don’t forget, if you feel like the constant socializing is getting to be too much, you can take breaks. Going for a short burst of fresh air outside or escaping to a quieter corner can help a lot. By taking short rests every now and again, you can help keep your social batteries going for longer. You don’t have to talk non-stop for hours! Find a balance that works for you.

Compromise when you need to

Holidaying with your opposite personality types is all about give and take. Most households make compromises over the holidays. Choosing whose house you’re going to, who you’ll have over on Christmas day, and which family members are staying over, as well as much more, are small compromises that everyone makes during the holiday season.

When it comes to a mixed house of Extraverts and Introverts, it’s a really good idea to make a rough plan before the start of the holidays. Be prepared that you may need to make compromises on what your ideal holiday season looks like. Extraverts will probably want to see all their friends and family and this might mean compromising on a few quiet nights in. Equally, you can help Extraverts understand that you also need some down time and make sure you schedule a few social-free days too.

The key to a positive holiday period is to communicate! Try to get a balance between what works for both Introverts and Extraverts. It will mean a lot if you can follow through and support Extraverts in their favorite activities, even if they don’t seem like fun to you. Equally, they should respect that you need some time to yourself too.

Be ready to be spontaneous

At the same time, leave some space to be spontaneous too! Planning is great but there will also be some times when you need to go off the map. Many Extraverts will love the idea of heading over to a friend’s house for last minute drinks or going to a Christmas market and soaking up the busy atmosphere. For Introverts, this might be the last thing they want to do on a cold evening but if you can make the effort, the Extraverts in your life will really appreciate it.

Spontaneity is a big part of many Extravert’s social lives and so flexing your spur-of-the-moment muscles will mean a lot to them. It is definitely not unreasonable to want to know what your calendar looks like but small impromptu gatherings can also be really fun. 

If the idea of talking to yet another room full of people seems like too much, you might like to try taking along some games. Playing a board game or group game can be a great way to take the pressure off in social situations. You don’t need to focus too much on conversation and can deflect attention onto the game. Don’t worry about getting the whole room involved, try playing with just a few people and see how you get on.

Help keep your Extraverts steady

There is one area where Introverts can really excel during the holidays and that’s helping to anchor Extraverts. It can be easy to get caught up in holiday activities and find yourself running from one event to the other. This is especially true for Extraverts who easily get whipped up in the excitement of the many social engagements the holidays bring. For Introverts, this is a time when your level headedness and sense of balance can come in handy.

Extraverts might find themselves getting burnout from all the many holiday parties and gatherings. Introverts can help by encouraging moderation and building in breaks through the holiday period to allow for much-needed downtime. This will not only help keep you comfortable and relaxed, but it will also help Extraverts stay grounded during the busiest time of the year.

Supporting your favorite Extraverts during the holidays

Let’s face it, the holidays can be a mad time. Whether you’re an Introvert or an Extravert, things can sometimes get a little overwhelming. The important thing to remember is to try and strike a balance.

If you’re looking for ways to support the Extraverts in your life, focus on compromising where you can. Accept that you will need to get involved in some big social events so make sure that you prepare. Take a day off from socializing every now and again to give yourself time to recharge. And don’t forget, if it gets too much, break out the board games!

Elizabeth Harris
Elizabeth is a freelance writer and ghostwriter. She’s an anthropologist at heart and loves using social theory to get deeper into the topics she writes about. Born in the UK, Elizabeth has lived in Copenhagen, Frankfurt and Dubai before moving most recently to Budapest, Hungary. She’s an ENTJ with ENFJ leanings. Find out more about her work at