Personality and Coaching: In Search of the ‘A-ha’ Moment

I had my first soul-stirring ‘a-ha’ while working at a copper mine. I'll get to that in a minute but first, a little context...

In 2003, I got my dream job. I had been working toward it for years and I was elated. I had finally become a management consultant. Then I started doing the work.

I hated it.

But I didn't want to admit it. I had invested so much time and energy in preparing myself for this type of work. What else was I going to do? I didn't want to start over. I watched my co-workers and they all seemed to be content. Was there something wrong with me? I told myself it was a “good job” and I was lucky to have it. I pushed myself to work harder to overpower the underlying feeling that this wasn’t right for me.

It didn’t work.

In search of the real ‘me’

My first ‘a-ha’ moment came when I was in the document records basement of a copper mining company in Utah. It was hot. I had been there alone, for 10 hours, day after day, digging through boxes of old accounting records stacked on top of each other. And then it hit me.

This isn’t me.

I was forcing myself to do something that didn’t feel natural to me. My heart wasn’t in it. I wasn’t in it.

Now I knew management consulting wasn’t my path. But I was clueless about what else to do. And I was terrified to let go of the excellent salary and prestigious job that I had worked so hard to achieve.

But I didn’t want to do what I was “supposed” to do for the rest of my life.

I wanted to do something more meaningful. I wanted to enjoy my work. I wanted to discover the unique thing that I was built to do – and do some good in the world.

So… I quit. I took a sabbatical from work and I used it to get to know myself in a deep way. The real me.

From my a-ha moment to helping people find theirs 

I realized that I had always helped people find their way. When I wasn’t studying required subjects in school or fulfilling my obligations at work, I volunteered as a peer counselor, conflict mediator, and mentor. Those were my true passions. My gift was guiding people. Looking back on my life, I could see that I was in my element when I was helping people find their way. 

Still, I didn’t know how to turn that realization into a career. 

I considered all the careers that I could think of that had to do with guiding people: being a psychologist, meditation teacher, marriage and family therapist, school teacher, social worker, human resources professional, and life coach. I did informational interviews with people in each of those careers to try to figure out which one was right for me but I couldn’t get clear on my own. I kept flip-flopping and spinning my wheels.

Finally, I decided to enroll in a coaching school. I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to think my way to clarity. Instead, I needed an immersive experience that was going to communicate to my whole being. At the end of the first day of class, it was clear. A-ha. This is me. 

It’s been over 15 years since I experienced the ‘a-ha’ moment that cemented coaching as my vocation and I’ve now coached thousands of people into more meaningful careers. Instead of searching for my ‘a-ha’ moment, I’m helping people discover theirs. 

Clients come to us at A Path That Fits because they want to do more meaningful work but they don’t know what to do next. They are looking for more than a job. They want to find their calling, and they also need it to pay well. Easy? No. Possible? Yes.

Meet Mary, stressed out and seeking change

Mary was one of those clients. She enrolled in the Career Pathfinder Coaching Program because she was unfulfilled by her job at a large corporation doing software product marketing. She had some ideas about what careers she could do but she wasn’t sure and she wanted to feel confident about taking the next step in her career. In other words, she was looking for that ‘a-ha’ moment where the way forward becomes clear. 

“I was working very long hours, stressed, and not present with my family due to constant anxiety of office demands. I did not feel motivated and I did not feel I was where I am supposed to be. I felt like an alien many times, wondering why I was working there when I wasn't excited about anything we did. But I didn’t know what else I wanted to do.”  

It’s impossible to predict when or where a client will have their ‘a-ha’ moment so I guide clients through a pathfinding process that includes a diverse array of coaching activities, assessments, and career discovery tools — all of which are intended to help them learn more about who they are and then to translate their innate gifts, passions, and personality into a career that fits. 

The basic formula is: Gifts + Passions + Personality = A Path That Fits

Or, represented another way:

In Mary’s case, discovering her gifts affirmed that marketing was a good fit for her. So why was she miserable? Maybe discovering her passions would shed some light on what she’s meant to do… 

Mary’s passions revealed that her interests were strongest in mindfulness, education, and psychology. That was good and bad news. It validated one of the careers that Mary had been exploring already: Teaching mindfulness. But it felt impossible to quit her job and make a living as a mindfulness teacher. 

At this point in the process, staying at her marketing job didn’t sound good, and starting over as a mindfulness teacher with two young children and a mortgage didn’t seem realistic. 

Mary had her ‘a-ha’ moment while reading her TypeFinder Assessment report

It illuminated what her personality type (ENFJ) needed in order to thrive: Close and supportive relationships with others, work that contributes to the greater good, and freedom to be creative. 

“The Myers Briggs test was a big ‘a-ha’ moment for me. It clarified the types of things I like doing and helped me understand why I don't like my current job. It gave me a list of careers to explore and helped me think about how to design my next job in a way that works for me.”

From there, Mary formulated a career path that integrated her gifts, passions, and personality.

“I could see that a career evolution* was the right thing for me as the first step. I realized that if I worked part-time in marketing it would give me more time to explore a career in mindfulness education.” 

* Note: In the Career Pathfinder Coaching Program, I talk about two types of career change: Career evolution and career revolution. A career evolution occurs when a person makes a pivot in their current career to evolve it in a more fulfilling direction. For example, David evolved his career from salesman to sales team leader after discovering his gift for leadership. A career revolution is a more radical change in which a person leaves their current profession and launches an entirely new career. For example, Grace went from being a professional chef to an urban planner. 

Mary ended up doing a career evolution and a career revolution simultaneously. 

“Now, I am working part-time as a consultant in the software product marketing space (same as before), but working with a start-up client and only focusing on the strategic projects that I like doing. I enjoy working with a small group of people where I can see the impact of my work and use the strengths that I discovered in the Career Pathfinder Coaching Program.”

“I am also building a new career teaching mindfulness in classrooms and via workshops. Now I am able to attend events to further train my skills and network with people in this field, which I find very fulfilling. The opportunities that started arising in a short time have been so encouraging for me. I am able to explore this career without being too stressed about changing fast or succeeding fast, as I don't have urgent monetary concerns.” 

Before you look for something new, remember who you are

As I reflect on Mary’s pathfinding journey, and my own, it reminds me that the ‘a-ha’ moment is rarely a panacea with step-by-step instructions and a guarantee of success. Instead, it more commonly manifests as an insight about who we are. And even then, it may not be a new discovery but rather a return to a forgotten truth. 

Rather than look for something new, I recommend trying to remember who you are. Instead of asking yourself, “What should I do?”, ask yourself, “Who am I?” 

I know that can be a cavernous question, so if you want some help exploring, consider taking one of Truity’s assessments. If you’re looking for more guidance and accountability than even the best career assessment can provide, the Career Pathfinder Coaching Program can help you reconnect to who you are and find the right career for you.