A man and woman embrace inside a blanket.

When ENFJs and INFPs get together, they frequently create relationships that are both harmonious and long-lasting. As Intuitive Feelers (NF), they’re equally dedicated to creating meaningful connections that enrich both parties. They tend to be on the same wavelength, and the bonds they forge often transcend the need for explanation or interpretation.

At the same, the clear differences in their personalities (Extravert vs. Introvert; Judging vs. Perceiving) add depth and texture to the relationship. Each will see the other as possessing important traits that they would like to develop in themselves. These types will enjoy the challenge of seeing things from the other person’s perspective, a trait that’s motivated by their mutual interest in self development. 

When things get serious, ENFJs and INFPs see their romantic relationships as vitally important projects that should not be abandoned at the first sign of trouble. The goal of each is to fall in love for life. When conflicts or difficulties arise, as they will in any relationship, their instinct is to work hard to repair the breach.

Sharing When it Matters  

To some extent, all relationships are built around and inspired by shared interests. But ENFJs and INFPs don’t need to have a long list of hobbies, habits, or beliefs in common to make their relationships blossom and thrive.

For these generous souls, a few mutual interests or perspectives are enough to construct and maintain a strong and healthy love connection. Being highly empathic and compassionate, neither type will resent the other because they have outside interests or varying viewpoints.  

ENFJs and INFPs will relish the commonalities and treasure the time they spend together sharing them. Those mutual interests will form the cornerstone of the relationship, but they won’t be used as an excuse to limit either party’s capacity to explore and develop their individuality.

Organizing the Perfect Relationship

ENFJs are well-known for their perfectionism and preferences for order and organization. They like to have a plan, and they will stick to it as closely as they can.

INFPs, on the other hand, tend to be more mercurial in their organizational habits. They are not consistently messy or disorganized, and will sometimes have bursts of inspiration that leave them determined to reorder their lives. But in many instances, they will allow other interests to take priority over cleaning or reorganizing in many instances.  

But this difference is not usually a cause for strife. INFPs generally prefer to be clean and organized, and their relationships with ENFJs often help them develop better or more consistent habits. Conversely, ENFJs must be careful not to let their interest in cleanliness and orderliness take over their lives, as it may on occasion. Their INFP partner’s more laid-back attitude can help them gain and keep a more balanced perspective, for which they will remain eternally grateful.

Communicating with Love

In any relationship between an ENFJ and an INFP, the former will inevitably carry the conversation most of the time. Not just with respect to the number of words spoken, but also by setting the agenda or determining the direction of the discussion. Their outgoing nature and advanced social skills tend to make them eager conversationalists.

While ENFJs frequently take the lead in social interactions, they are not interested in talking exclusively (or even much at all) about themselves. In fact, ENFJs are intensely curious about the lives and feelings of other people.

Their social openness is motivated by an agenda, and that is to create dynamic conversations that are informative, interesting, and mutually engaging. They delight in learning details about the lives of others, even more than they enjoy sharing the details of their own lives. So they do an excellent job of drawing out Introverts, including their special INFP. 

Like all Introverts, INFPs have a strong desire to talk about their experiences, passions, feelings, disappointments, hopes, and dreams.  When they form loving relationships with ENFJs, they will have plenty of opportunities to do so, during discussions that evolve organically from the productive seeds that ENFJs enthusiastically plant.

Because they are so curious, ENFJs are wonderful listeners who make a concerted effort to turn their conversations into true dialogues. This is highly beneficial and rewarding for the sometimes reclusive INFPs, who want desperately to be acknowledged and understood but may keep to themselves unless others show a genuine and heartfelt interest.

Dealing with Others

The interpersonal dynamic that develops between ENFJs and INFPs serves them well inside the relationship, and also social situations that involve other people.

INFPs can avoid feeling overwhelmed—as they sometimes do when they’re in social situations alone—since their ENFJ partners are more than happy to act as the couple’s primary spokesperson. The INFP can then pick and choose their spots, adding their input wherever they’d like. If the INFP eventually becomes uncomfortable, or feels a bit overstimulated and would like to move on to a quieter environment, their empathic ENFJ partner will usually sense their discomfort and use their social skills to gracefully exit the conversation.

Self-Development as a Lifestyle

One area where ENFJs and INFPs complement each other extraordinarily well is through their shared interest in self-improvement. ENFJs have a powerful need to reach for excellence; they never want to settle for mediocrity, and they are excited by possibilities to help others achieve their dreams or develop their talents as well.

INFPs are also deeply interested in self-development, too, and feel a responsibility to do something important with their lives. They like to use their creativity as a tool for personal growth and boundary expansion, and if they can help their loved ones follow a similar path it will bring them great satisfaction.

The creativity of the INFP, combined with the pure energy and ambition of the ENFJ, can produce some fascinating and exciting results. Rather than simply taking classes, reading self-help books, or signing up for online courses, INFPs and ENFJs will often collaborate to create their own special self-improvement projects, which may include innovative twists on old ideas.

As parents, for example, INFPs and ENFJs are intensely focused on helping their children reach their potential, which adds even more positive energy to the household. Kids who grow up with INFP and ENFJ parents will never feel neglected, since their moms and dads are always involved in their lives and eager to support them as they strive to achieve their dreams.

INFPs and ENFJs are big on positive affirmation and reinforcement as well, and that approach tends to create bonds with their children that are strong, durable, and long-lasting.

Creating an Enduring Chemistry

In their ongoing quest for personal growth in the psychological, intellectual, emotional, creative, and spiritual spheres, ENFJs and INFPs are like alchemists of the heart and mind. They seek the right chemical formula to create relationships that are congenial yet multilayered and complex, fused by shared perspectives and priorities and energized by fundamental differences that keep both parties learning and growing.  

When ENFJs and INFPs get together, the complex mixture of extraversion, introversion, intuition, feeling, judging, and perceiving they create can work powerful magic. From this intriguing combination, the partnerships that emerge can be memorable, uplifting, and enduring.

If you are either of these personality types, your ideal match could be the other. That is, if you’re looking for someone who will complement you yet challenge you, and who will support you and encourage you to be your best, no matter how grand your dreams or for how long you’ve postponed chasing after them.

Nathan Falde
Nathan Falde has been working as a freelance writer for the past six years. His ghostwritten work and bylined articles have appeared in numerous online outlets, and in 2014-2015 he acted as co-creator for a series of eBooks on the personality types. An INFJ and a native of Wisconsin, Nathan currently lives in Bogota, Colombia with his wife Martha and their son Nicholas.