Are You Overthinking It? 8 Signs That Your Mind's On Overdrive
Almost everyone gets too deep in their heads at some point or another, and we've all found ourselves stuck in a loop of “what ifs” and rumination on mistakes we made in the past. Studies show that more than half the population overthinks and that’s a whole lot of people.
But what if overthinking isn't something that happens every now and then, but an ongoing pattern of worry and overwhelm? And how do you know if what you're doing is actually a result of overthinking – which is a bad habit that can be broken – as opposed to simply thinking in-depth about something?
Depending on your personality type, there are certain signs and triggers that can point to a tendency to overthink. And there also are strategies that can help to lessen the time you spend overthinking, if you practice them.
Let’s look at eight ways we overthink and which personality types relate most to each.
#1: Your mind turns into one big checklist
Sometimes overthinking can come in the guise of something helpful, like making and keeping a list of things you need to do in your head. But if you are constantly creating new lists or going over the same list repeatedly in your mind, it’s time to find a distraction.
Who overthinks this way? ENTJs and ESTJs are likely to find themselves stuck in the checklist loop. These types are Extraverted Thinkers who are focused on organizing their outside world. When they're healthy, they excel at getting things done quickly and efficiently. When stressed, they can become obsessed with logically prioritizing information through lists and details – to the point where it interferes with their lives.
What can you do about it? A great way to drop those mental lists quickly is to do something physical. You don’t have to line dance or run a marathon; even a 10-minute walk can re-set your mind with a new outlook. You may find that the more important items on your list come to the forefront after breathing fresh air and clearing your head.
#2: Your become hypercritical of yourself and others
If you find yourself getting hypercritical and nit-picky of the smallest things, watch out. This kind of overthinking can lead to arguments and hurt feelings. It can also be a sign of deep-seated insecurity, as you might be trying to appear smarter than those around you by focusing on minutiae. The critic can have its own personality, bigger than life, and that personality is a bully.
Who overthinks this way? ISTPs and INTPs have a tendency to become hypercritical. These Introverted Thinkers can sometimes get irritated by ideas that are not logical or well thought-through. When stressed, these types may overthink something that isn’t precisely correct and might dismiss it as “dumb.”
What can you do about it? When these destructive thoughts loom large, it’s helpful to focus on something even bigger. This can be a spiritual practice, a walk in a forest, or the study of space - whatever it is that you find awe-inspiring and bigger than yourself. Replace your cynicism with thoughts that are empowering and lead you toward a more positive outlook.
#3: You go overboard with people pleasing
People pleasing may not sound like a type of overthinking, but it is. When you’re trying to do the impossible task of pleasing everyone, or even just one person, it can be difficult to think straight. It’s like an obsession with making sure that everybody else is happy and taken care of, to the point where the line between your opinions and those of others becomes blurred.
Who overthinks this way? ENFJs and ESFJs are prone to people-pleasing. These Extraverted Feelers have a strong need for harmony and will sometimes sacrifice their own values to satisfy someone else’s needs or demands. When stressed, these types may overthink or even obsess about what others are saying or thinking about them.
What can you do about it? Resolve the confusion about which thoughts and feelings belong to you by going inward. As much as possible, release any thoughts that are not yours and focus on your own built-in, deep-rooted compass. You do have one! Give as much comfort and credit to yourself as you give to others, and shut out the noisy voices of well-meaning friends and family. Don’t overthink your own ideas just because others disagree.
#4: Your thoughts are self-defeating
Sometimes overthinking involves negative self-talk. You may tell yourself, "Even if I try, I won't be good enough,” or “Everything will go wrong if I assert myself.” These kinds of debilitating thoughts create a cycle where you isolate yourself and hold yourself back from achieving your goals and getting to the other side of difficulties.
Who overthinks this way? ISFPs and INFPs may have issues with their inner critic. These Introverted Feelers spend a lot of time in their inner world, pressuring themselves to be “good” or “right.” When stressed, they may overthink their personal values attempting to sort out what is authentic for them, or simply getting stuck in a rose-tinted vision of how things should be.
What can you do about it? Don’t isolate. When you do, the negative messages you give yourself can be overpowering. Instead, take the time you need to re-charge and then find a trusted friend who will help you add perspective. Someone who knows you can help reframe your thinking in a more realistic way. They can confirm that the messages you’re giving yourself are not true and keep you from going dark.
#5: You become overly suspicious
Worrying that someone has bad intentions toward you is not fun, and this kind of overthinking is especially destructive because it will affect your relationships. Being on this constant, high alert is exhausting and can draw you into negative ways of seeing people.
Who overthinks this way? ESFPs and ESTPs can fall victim to suspicion. These Extraverted Sensors fear being robbed of their freedom or getting trapped in the mundane. They have difficulty trusting people who they think are trying to hold them back from new experiences, even if that person is simply trying to warn them of the risks. As a result, they may overthink conversations and the motivations of others.
What can you do about it? If you find yourself getting suspicious, go back to the facts. Do you really have any reason to believe that someone has ill-will toward you, or are you just knee-jerking because they said something you didn't want to hear? Check in with someone who can add an objective tone to your situation. Aim to replace your one-sided suspicions with more positive expectations.
#6: You worry about future outcomes
Since the future isn’t here yet, it makes no sense to stress and stay fixed on it. Still, dread over what may happen in the future is common and, if left unchecked, it can rob you of the life you are living now. By the time you get to the future, you may find yourself worrying about yet another anticipated event.
Who overthinks this way? ISTJs and ISFJs have a tendency to worry about future outcomes. These Introverted Sensors are constantly checking their inner “files” against what they see as balanced or “normal.” When stressed, they may overthink possible negative outcomes and fear losing the stable systems of their inner world.
What can you do about it? If you overthink in this way, it might be because you fear your inner world is “out of order.” The worry is that some future event will tip the scale and cause more imbalance. Try a meditation practice that includes a short prayer or mantra that you can repeat. Focusing on these words can bring you to the present moment and away from tiring and unproductive worry about future events.
#7: You can’t make a decision
When you get stuck in “analysis paralysis,” overthinking takes on every connection and possibility and continually moves forward to open new doors without ever closing one. The problem with over-analyzing is that it keeps you from making important decisions – or any decision.
Who overthinks this way? ENTPs and ENFPs often struggle to make decisions. These Extraverted Intuitives have a tendency to shut out the tried and true and see only what’s outside the box. This is great for generating new ideas. But when stressed, these types may overthink all that is new and struggle to settle on one choice, especially when it relates to their outer environment.
What can you do about it? Be aware that your cheerful curiosity can change into a compulsive search for everything new when overthinking your decisions. Focus on narrowing your choices, no matter how uncomfortable that may be. And if you are stuck between two or three options, it’s likely that all those options have merit. Your decision doesn’t have to be perfect. A good decision is good enough.
#8: You are hyper focused on one thing
You know there’s a problem when your mind stays on one thing – repeating it over and over again to the exclusion of everything else. Ask yourself, is this one thing so important that it warrants using all the energy you need for family, friends, projects, work? The answer is almost always “no.”
Who overthinks this way? Those who hyperfocus on one thing are often Introverted Intuitives. INFJs and INTJs can easily retreat from reality in pursuit of one abstract idea. When stressed, these types may overthink by going down the rabbit hole with a singular notion, searching for its crystal-clear meaning.
What can you do about it? Try dumping the thought by writing it down. Leave it alone until the next day and see whether it looks as important when you read it after a good night’s rest. There is great benefit in keeping a journal where you can explore underlying patterns and themes to figure out what’s really going on under the surface. A better picture of your deeper motivation will reveal the way out.
Final thoughts
No matter your type or how you overthink, be gentle with yourself. Remember, overthinking is a habit you can change, not a character flaw. Don’t pile on self-criticism or burden yourself with the belief that if you had enough “willpower” you would be able to tackle the problem. Instead, experiment and find the strategies that work best for you. With a little bit of practice and a whole lot of patience you’ll be surprised by your progress!
