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INFJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the INFJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the INFJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The INFJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between INFJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

INFJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the INFJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the INFJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the INFJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the INFJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

INFJs in Love

In relationships, the INFJ is supportive and guided by a sense of integrity. The INFJ's interest in human development applies to their mates as well, and they are encouraging of their partner's dreams, aspirations, and achievements.

INFJs want to maintain harmony in their relationships and are highly motivated to resolve conflicts. They tend to be creative problem-solvers and look for the emotional core of an issue to create a meeting of the minds. Although they desire cooperation, they are not willing to go along with an idea that does not feel authentic to them. When it comes to their core values and ethics, they are unwilling to compromise.

INFJs want a high degree of intimacy and emotional engagement, and are happiest when they feel they are sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings with their mates. INFJs value a partner who respects their deeply held values and ethics, and one who appreciates their creativity and inspiration.

INFJs as Parents

As parents, INFJs are devoted and loving. They tend to form strong bonds with their children and are very closely tuned in to their emotional states. Counselor parents naturally see the possibilities in their children and encourage them to develop their potential.

Although they support their children in their individual interests, INFJ parents are firm disciplinarians, particularly when it comes to moral or ethical concerns. They are concerned with their children's emotional health and spiritual development, and want to create a nurturing atmosphere that promotes growth and well-being.

INFJ Communication Style

INFJs are reserved about communication, and often keep their most treasured ideas and insights private. They are oriented to values and connection, and will search for meaning in the information they take in. They think deeply and often need time to process and evaluate before they are ready to share their ideas. They seek validation and will take the time to appreciate others and their ideas. They are often talented at making connections to bring people together and integrate ideas, values, and human potential.

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Comments

Gert-Jan ten Ham (not verified) says...

With my type being INFJ with Enneagram 415, I wonder how frequently people of my type get D in the DISC assessment. I have done this assessment several times, with the Truity DISC assessment finally confirming my type. I got type D as my confirmed type. It sounds contradictionary to me, but I have read regularly that INFJs are walking contradictions. 

Violet (not verified) says...

Hello everyone! 

I can't believe how many INFJs there are!
Yesterday I started taking personality tests after watching a Youtube video about introverts and got several different answers from different tests, hence why I decided to just read about the different types. I came across INFJ (one of the results I got) and immediately thought "Ok, that's me!".

Anyway, the reason for all this digging and reading is because I want to get to know myself better and also use the information to think about my future.
As a child I loved the thought of becoming a doctor and have managed to hold onto this dream for a while; however, recently I have noticed that I can be quite a lazy person and do procrastinate at times. Becoming a doctor still seems like a good option because I get to help people and learn about the complex and amazing human body. Nevertheless, I am afraid that studying medicine might be too much for me and lead to constant stress... Other jobs do seem quite appealing as well e.g. writing; but then again, I feel like I'm not creative enough and fear that I will run out of things to write about.

I might be overthinking a little (not uncommon for INFJs :p) but choosing a job will have a huge impact on my future life which is why I'd like to make the right decision. I don't know if any of you can help me but if you do happen to have any advice, I would be more than happy to hear it!

Tess (not verified) says...

Hi Violet,

I do give you kudos for your quest of self-knowledge before investing your energies and money into a proper academic path. Very wise.

However, the MBTI, while useful in some areas of life, is really just a shorthand categorization that summarizes the complexities of one's astrological makeup. If you are aware of its origins, you then understand that Meyers and Briggs created the test based on Carl Jung's work in psychiatry, which included astrology, an ancient form of psychology.

In order to hone in on your vocational leanings, I strongly recommend having your natal chart read either by an experienced astrologer, which may cost around a couple hundred dollars. Or you can DIY for around $40. Either way, examining your astrological profile is the surest way to get to the pith of what makes you tick. You can find a handful of decent astrologers on Quora and other sites, and for DIY readings I recommend astrotheme.com or astrolabe.com.

I do believe that in understanding and constructing anything, one must work from the bottom up.

Best wishes,

Tess

 

 

 

 

Frank Taylor (not verified) says...

Hi Violet!

Similarly, I was recently hunting for information on my personality type because I was curious if it had changed - and changed it had. I was previously an ISTJ but now I register as an INFJ and it couldn't be more true after reading. 

The reason I am replying to your comment is because I did attend medical school for around 17 weeks before ultimately deciding it was not my calling. As a fellow INFJ, I understand your desire to contribute to the well-being of others, do something more than just earn material gain, and also achieve excellence. For me, medical school was extremely taxing, but I was succeeding. When I left school, I had a 3.85 GPA. I was highly pleased with the mastery I was working towards, the universal usefulness/helpfulness of being a physician, job security, and exclusive trust patients have for their physicians. However, what weighed me down the most were the years I was on track to invest studying in school and apprenticing, if you will, through residency. Studying in my apartment night after night grew wearisome. I felt that I was watching life pass me by to an extent. I value family and the close relationships I have with friends immensely, and the medical doctor route was one that would force me away from them for an extended period of time - missing so many events and important time with them. I also consider myself a devout Christian, and I felt that my true passion to impact people spiritually was being overshadowed. Ultimately, I chose to pursue a field that would demand less personal sacrifice, while still changing other's lives. I hope that this bit of insight is somehow helpful!

INFJ girl (not verified) says...

 infjs are very special . i think only an infj can understand another infj.

although some of us have a strong tendency to be perfect but basically

we just wanna love and be loved.

Shannon Jennings (not verified) says...

Has everyone here took the test to call themselves infj or just read the description and devide thats Wat you ate??

Christine Taylor (not verified) says...

I took several different tests, only one called me INFJ, but after reading the descripctions I knew it was me, so I stuck with it. It's probably best to decide for yourself, since tests can't always be correct, but some people might not really understand who they are all the same. I was glad when the test called me INFJ so I had some kind of 'proof' but it really didn't matter. I feel it's good to do both, and read through all descriptions to know for sure. (that was lengthy sorry) 

RLE (not verified) says...

I feel like I speak a language of symbols and gestures that no one understands and that maybe they're not even willing to try.  (The universe is full of meaning and there's a universe inside every person.)  Most people aren't willing to love what they don't understand.   

Sally M Lupo (not verified) says...

As another female INFJ, I can relate especially in my adolescents.  I believe most people only see about 40% of what is going on in the subconious part of their mind.  They only listen to mainly the instinctual part, well the intellgent norms.  (Flight, or Fight)  Most people are extroverts so they are too busy comparing, competing or adapting to the trends of society.  There is something that they cannot understand or see inside of us the INFJs. Which in my experience has made them question our ways, but when giving a task they know we go way beyond expentations.  So, as far as symbols go, that is your intution telling you something.  It may be a sign of what may come, or a sign of something inside you that you need to find.  I learned to listen to these symbols and to reflect on them.  I am a believer in humanity and the power of the will.  Whatever you seek you will find.  Whatever you want you will get but you need to be dilgent and listen to yourself, and your needs.  

AMS (not verified) says...

What a beautiful thing to say, that we each have a universe inside us. As an INFJ, I feel the same, that it's very hard for people to get us. But our super power helps us to understand them and maybe bridge the gap, I hope. 

Guest (not verified) says...

@infjgirl I cannot agree with you more! 

sasi (not verified) says...

Rule number #1 :

Never be number #2 .

i as an INFJ always think this way . they usually are 100 or 0 . i dont know if it's a good thing or not but i think it can help you being very brilliant in at least one field. (theoritically)

but in reality i dont know why i am not so successful .

what is wrong ???

i want your opinions 

 

 

Skywalker (not verified) says...

Because in rule #1 said that, you never be #2. But it is not closing the possibilities of you being #3 to #(x > 3)

jr.s (not verified) says...

hey guys. i am an infj and a very perfectionist  person.

I spend a lot of time in my dreams and sometimes I totally forget about the real world.

As a matter of fact I prefer to live in my imagination and this is destroying my life because I can't act .

I have been waiting my whole life for a miracle .maybe  some of you have the same problem.

Waiting for something that will never happen kills you.

But I am f . . king done waiting.

lonely girl says...

I have been there and

believe me i feel you.

start with easy tasks and try to do them perfectly . it's kind of a motivation and make you feel good and confident.

then go for some impossible jobs .

do your best and get them done , then you will find out who you truely are

and what you are capable of .

Meta4 (not verified) says...

You would love the book "The Kin of Ata Are Waiting for You"

Also - yes!  Stop waiting and get busy taking steps to create the life you want by developing your talents/interests/etc.!

infj friend (not verified) says...

I don't know how an infj can survive without a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  My relationship with God truly and honestly gives my life the purpose, meaning, joy, and peace that I desperately need, because He is the one and only source of truth in this world.  I challenge you to pick up a Bible or find an on-line Bible or Bible app and start reading it, beginning with Matthew and the Gospels, and then read the books of Genesis and Revelations (particularly the last couple chapters) to give perspective on where we came from and where we are going, then read some of the Psalms.  I have also been deeply engaged by the website answersingenesis.com for helping me understand creation from a biblical but also scientific and archaeological perspective. If you start letting your mind dwell on Scriptures, it will transform you, and God will fill your life with truth, purpose, and peace, and you will find the miracle that you have been searching for.  

Saskia Caetano (not verified) says...

This is so true!!! My relationship with God is who defines me as a person! I was raised in a family that went to church, but 100% had to find Christ on my own. I went through a time when I thought I was not Christian, but God brought me right back into His loving arms! 

Marla says...

Coolio. As someone who grew up catholic with my mom's side of the family and having a christian father, I have never been able to settle on religion tho. Religion in general is people's interpretations of the "word of god," whichever form of a higher power they choose to believe in. These are my thoughts:

1: All religions have their own flaws, just as they were cultivated by people who want to be better based on God's word.

2: As much as there are scripts and stuff revolving around God and Jesus Christ, I don't really care whether they actually exist because even if it is real (which I would consider too good to be true frankly), we are made in such a way that we have our own wills. In the end, I don't need a belief system to help me find meaning, so regardless, I will live the way I want to without being religious.

3: It's really not hard to be a good person and I could never understand as a kid the point of repeated the same sermans again and again every single year, like, how many times will you forget the lesson from that one evangelio that you gotta have it repeated every year?

4: For the people that work well with belief systems, great, I mean, it gives them a reason to appreciate their own existance through God and they may even turn their lives around to become appropriate functioning members of society, doing good in their communities.

5: I really find church boring (just being honest here) because of my first three thoughts combined, primarily the excessive repetition on lessons of how to be a basic good person (usually it's a bit exaggerated though bc religions represent far fetched ideals of what someone following that religion should be like to be true to the "word of God"). All someone needs is reassurance, understanding to be a good person, and a safe space so that they can let out their problems or struggles to find peace in their lives - before expecting a higher power to forgive us then doing it again, how about we think of forgiving ourselves and what we need to do to not do that again because we didn't like what we did?

Anyway, that's just my thoughts on many aspects of religion. It's almost like God is a physical manifestation of a conscience but human intervention (or interpretation) can easily misguide us and lead to a system of coping with life that may not be as healthy as confidently facing your own faults and genuinely improving yourself as a person for the sake of your own good. 🤷‍♀️

ryan cayenne up flyin (not verified) says...

idk if i'ma good person to take advice from.  but regarding where i am in this area of life:  i find that i get overwhelmed and feel most impotent when i start to perceive myself how the popular world might see and label me in various ways...  i feel most empowered and things start to flow easily when i totally set my own standard for who i want to be in every regard.  for instance, if i am a, "loser," because i don't earn a lot of money or am not kicking butt in all kinds of secular areas of life, then i just realize that i have no interest in being around those who see me this way for too long because i know i'm actually capable, smart, and able to engage altruistically to help/support others exceptionally well.  so their judgmental supposition essentially makes THEM the loser in my world ;P.  they end up living in a closed minded, common, unimaginative and drearily linearly competitive existence (one most often not conducive to creativity) (just remember to maintain high standards for yourself and the team of fellow non judgmental lovers and dreamers.  don't let yourself be fooled into thinking you're worthless just because those who would judge you based on narrow minded, popular notions of worldly success deem you to be lesser than they; know what i mean?)

Mi.lly (not verified) says...

This is me too. Writing helps me cope and still be able to live in a world of my own while also dealing with the real world

sahar (not verified) says...

I feel you

I have been waiting for a miracle my whole life and f... tired of it 

farhad (not verified) says...

Next morning when you are waked up, go infront of a mirror and look closely...

if you couldn't  find any miracle, you will never find it anywhere else.

you need to find yourself first. then you will understand what are you going to do with your life 

and miracles will show themselves to you.

wish you the bests.

 

AlexandraRodriguez_ (not verified) says...

I, an INFJ, agree I've had my own struggles in life like anyone not to judge anyone or discredit anyone else pain, though I have learned the only way I could get better is from within, I normally wouldn't comment but when staring in the mirror was stated I lit up because this was my start to recovery exactly, having heart to heart sessions with myself in the mirror reminding myself of my own strength and that I am all the motivation I need. I've known other friends who struggled in similar ways and they'll only get better once they look inside themselves for answers.

Shikamaru (not verified) says...

lol why waste your life waiting for a miracle thats never gonna happen?

LM (not verified) says...

It sounds like you are more an INFP. Get some guidance from a career counselor and make it happen. I agree that waiting for something to happen is not healthy. Set a goal and take baby steps to achieve it. You can do this! 

jr.s (not verified) says...

i dont know if i am an infp but thank you for your adavice.

i think i should do exactly what you said

MSJWJR (not verified) says...

Male INFJ here..

You said, ".... this is destroying my life because I can't act."

My guess is that you can 'act' but that you are feeling overwhelmed by the thought  of it.

Your dreams will manifest when you act on them--that's a guarantee.

The good news is that you can do this at your own pace and at your comfort level--so relax, no need to feel overwhelmed.

Acknowledge that you do not need to devise an action plan from start to finish in order to begin the process. 

You can start the process by using your keen intuition and imagination to decide what will be your first step--

And you certainly have the capability of visualizing that first step in your imagination.

Access the many gifts that your INFJ personality possesses--

And it begins in a very safe place, with yourself, in your head.

Search for the 'fist step' to take, you will find it in your imagination... and then 'act' taking that first step.

The second , third and other steps will make themselves known and that something that you dream of, will happen!

 

jr.s (not verified) says...

thank you man...

it was awsome .

 

chinea (not verified) says...

Hi there! fellow infj here. the good thing about us infjs is that we are the type of person who can never resist a good plan. we crave that structure and the sense of feeling which direction to go next. so i suggest that you do this. you plan, plan, plan. you make a plan a, then a plan b, then a plan c, and so on. allow yourself to get lost, for a little while, in planning. then ground yourself back to reality and put those plans into action.

i did this a year and a half ago (back then i didn't even know i was an infj), and now i am at that point in life where i AM done waiting. my dreams are coming true, my goals finally being realized. the best thing i can say to you is that you shouldn't wait for a miracle, but rather make it happen. "When the world owed you nothing, you demand something of it anyway."

something that i also only recently read on this site is that us infjs will benefit the most from seeing a therapist (or something like that), and maybe this will also help you. whatever happens, i deeply wish you the best. 

jr.s (not verified) says...

you are right . this comfort zone finally will kill me.

but thank you my friend. it was very helpful

Klaus (not verified) says...

Hi, i'm INFJ too. Btw, I had a phase in my life when I was fascinated by my own potential. It was undeveloped, but the contemplation made me a little arrogant (to say the least). On the other hand, I was kind like you, just didn't noticed that. Well, INFJs always stand for a cause, that's what drive then forward. I suggest you to always be optimistic and search a cause you can stand for. Try figuring out what makes your eyes shine.

jr.s (not verified) says...

appreciate that a lot brother.

Jade (not verified) says...

I think the truth is that you can't keep waiting for a miracle, it won't happen. You just need to learn how to put your world into motion, step by step, without pressure, till it becomes kind of natural. 

jr.s (not verified) says...

i hope it will .

thanks jade

bkk (not verified) says...

Hi, 

I am an INFJ as well and I used to live in my imaginary life, too, wainting for some miracle. Sometimes I was so caught up in my imagination that I completely lost the sense of the present moment for hours and this went on for years until I started dating my current boyfriend. I think that he unknowingly made me more aware of my surroundings and taught me how to enjoy the RIGHT NOW. So I quess that in my case he was the miracle I had been waiting for.

jr.s (not verified) says...

i wish the bests for you two .

and i hope you will be happy together  

A-joe (not verified) says...

Only recently discovered my MBTI type, Yes, INFJ, as a result of research to help me recover from brain surgery. Wish there was a way to find a female INFJ to be my friend that I can develop enough trust with to have those deep conversations that I crave. I'm probably more shy than most INFJ guys until you get to know me and that's a big handicap as far as meeting someone to try and get to know.

Silverwind (not verified) says...

I've been feeling the same way. It's funny because I don't always want deep conversations but sometimes, I want to look deeper into normal conversations. I'm really fascinated with the way people work and the why behind it. It can be really hard to find people to talk to shy or not, so I understand what you're going through.

Pride (not verified) says...

I am an INFJ and dated an INFJ girl I assure you that this is not gonna end well. You will start to play Games because you love analysing things and both of  you need emotional support at the same time so sometimes you will start to blame eachother.INFJ is private person yet can analyse its partner so all the things you or your INFJ partner thinks are Private will be come to light by both of you.You need a loooooot of trust from the start for eachother but INFJs are not good at trusting people from the beginning.  

Warren Weeder (not verified) says...

To be fair playing games is more typical of younger or less mature people than a personality type. Playing games also sabotages any chance for a genuine, trust based relationship, regardless if this was the intended result. Just saying, as soon as the games start, the realtionship is really dead - the participants may just not realize it yet. Based on this, it is possible your relationship with another INFJ could have succeeded if you were both mature enough to abandon games. 

Metoo (not verified) says...

I am INFJ too and female

Penny E. (not verified) says...

Same bro

Hieu (not verified) says...

I am a male INFJ.  Some sites say that male INFJs make up .5% of the population.  Whenever I meet another male INFJ, it's like two unicorns meeting, really.

I've been learning about the INFJ personality type for years now and I'm still learning more each day about myself.  If you're interested, I have a youtube channel "Hieu TV" where I interview other INFJs online.

See you guys later and may the most high bless you!

WZY (not verified) says...

I'm a 25 year-old INFJ but not yet ever met any of my type. Probably as a introvert and reserved person it's hard to meet people at first place.

Gilbert (not verified) says...

Hi, WZY. You could register on a dating site like okc and set up a sophisticated profile. There are quite a few INFJ on that platform and they often seek both friends or partners. I found some amazing profiles there! Give it a try.

MangoesRDR2 says...

yes

 

Christina K. (not verified) says...

Hi All!  I have just recently discovered that I am an INFJ (1.5 days back.)  So I am clearly but an "infant" in the whole scheme of things.  SO... I took several tests on several different sites because I quickly discerned that many are not all that accurate via other commentary.  And... I suppose, just to be (more) certain since I'm not all that familiar with this specific concept of internal/personality identification... (not that that really means anything, right?) lol

Anyway, I am genuienly grateful to have found deeper insight into understanding more about who I truly am and I am also quite eager to continue delving deeper into/devouring through more content, revelation and methodologies.  (A HUGE Thank You to site Creator/s, content writers and whomever put this site together!)  SO much of it is extremely "Spot-On" and I find it is so very helpful and actually somewhat of a relief the more I learn about myself (and other types.) 

(*Side bar*)I think one of the main things that keep standing out to me while reviewing commentary (and I also find a bit comical) is how INFJ's; being only 1-2% of the population, AND then combining how nearly 100% of the commentary has been made by INFJ's?!  Sorry... I just could't refrain from pointing that silly observation out and I mean ZERO disrespect to anyone, whatsoever. 

It's also comforting to know that I don't feel quite as alone when considering my belief hierarchy system/traits are actually shared by others.  Not that I'm unable connect well with others, because it's typically quite effortless/seamless... but always still felt an element of lonlieness due to the sheer fact that I had instinctively learned long ago exactly how different I really am from most.  That in and of itself made it difficult to ever feel like many could ever understand ME (thus the "lonely part of it all)... but I love helping others so much, it was always easy to overlook because my need to serve/improve others was my driving force (and why putting myelf on the backburner is (I consider) such a natural "byproduct" of our internal processing/methods.)

Now off to doing what it is I love doing... Enriching the lives of others as best I can... (Now with more fuel to feed my internal fire!) :-)

B. (not verified) says...

Hi Christina 🙂 you are so INFJ! The way you create these long, intertwined sentences, trying to fit all these thoughts and connections in one sentence. I do the same... so glad there are other out there my sister! ♥️ I feel you! Everything you said, I would not describe differently. Lots of Love, B

Here and now (not verified) says...

I am an INFJ that works with languages. Usually, I write lengthy texts and do translations. It's a very creative and challenging job and I really enjoy it. I think this type of career is perfect for an Intuitive.

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