I'm wondering if other ISFJs have trouble leaving bad relationships and if they're also more inclined to be in a bad relationship in the first place. I would appreciate any thoughts and insights about this and also any advice about how to move on. Thank you.


EmmaBee94 (not verified) says...

Evidently ISFJ's tend to speak from experience, which I generally do, and will do now as well; I was in a bad relationship for almost three years and I believe I entered into it for a few reasons: I felt as though I needed someone to "love me" in order to be whole, happy, and fulfilled, I did not feel confident by myself, and I wanted someone to take care of me and appreciate me like I'd appreciated so many people before without any reciprocation. I had been hurt many times in situations of unrequited love or at least infatuations. I thought that being attached to someone in a relationship sense would redeem me and make me better and lovable.
So over the course of those years I grew farther and farther away from myself, and lost sight of my needs and desires. My boyfriend didn't know to, or how to, ask what I needed, let alone fulfil it. I spent most of the time just trying to avoid any possible conflict (seems like an ISFJ trait) and not wanting to hurt him or let him down. I believe in love, and I believe that when in a relationship, you should do everything you can to make it work. I think this is a classic ISFJ perspective.

HOWEVER, this is not good when you're in a bad relationship that isn't doing anything beneficial. Some things in life happen so we can learn from them, not to last forever. The relationship is not for life, but the lessons and the wisdom you gain from the experience will. You have a beautiful opportunity now to grow and embrace a little change (yes it's scary) that will propel you into a new phase of your life where you will feel fresh, free, a little different, and more like yourself again.

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