I am dating a guy that is an INTJ we dont get along at all!!!! He calls me names and is very insensitive and always judging...What should I do?!


K Discern (not verified) says...

Hi INTJ here.

Try reading "Type Talk" by Otto Kroeger and Janet M. Thuesen. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/603061.Type_Talk
They have some good advise on how to deal with type differences that lead to conflicts in a relationships. "We Need To Talk" by Dr. Linda Mintle, https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22504647-we-need-to-talk?from_search...
Deals with conflict skills in general. I am currently reading both of these books, and I have found them helpful.

I hope this helps.

INFJ1961 says...

Here's what I believe you should not do: date someone who abuses you physically, verbally or otherwise.

Guest (not verified) says...

Hello, I am an INTJ and wanted to explain this a little bit from our point of view. As from the name, INTJ are thinkers, not feelers. we tend to take things in a more rational way. Its not because we dislike relationships and feelings. Is because we find it hard to deal with them, since they can't be defined logical and simply can't be explained. We aren't very good with emotions, causing people to think that we are insensitive or other things like that. But the truth is that we just find it difficult express them.
When we judge someone, we aren't necessarily criticising he or she. We just have an amazing capacity of reading people, and its just too much dentition not to do it. judging is our nature, and its something that can't be changed.
But he calling you names certainly dose not comes from his INTJ personality type. INTJs and ENFPs are complete opposites. this can cause the two to complement themselves, ore to argue and simply don't get along. Talking now woman to woman, all relationship has its arguments, but there should be respect above all. You should never let a man call you names, and just because he is your complete opposite, he dose't have the right to do this. If the differences between personality types generate this levels of discussions and let you so uncomfortable inside a relationship, than maybe it is time for you to reflect a little bit on it. dose it really worth it, spending time and energy in someone who treats you like this? dose it really worth spending time and energy in someone who you simply can't get along with? Judging and "insensibility" are parts of an INTJ. Its simply our nature, and nature can't be changed. If those things bother you so much, than dose it worth it?

ApricotHaze says...

I know you posted this 9 months ago, but if you're still dating him and he's still calling you names, dump him.  That kind of disrespect gets worse after marriage, not better.

Felisha (not verified) says...

Send him my way, I can straighten him out..have him running back to you in tears I will.

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