How to Cope on Down Days as a Myers-Briggs Feeler01 September 2020 / By RubyRaeScalera Clinically Reviewed by Steven Melendy, PsyD. on September 01, 2020
When you’re deeply tuned into your emotions, you can feel very positive and hopeful on your best days, but also experience gray moods a little more deeply. That’s the challenge facing those who type as Feelers in the Myers and Briggs personality system.
Compared to Thinking types who ‘calculate’ their way through the world based on logic, Feelers feel a great breadth and depth of emotions. Those feelings impact their relationship with the world, and that can make it challenging on down days to be productive, feel engaged, or shake off the blues.
How can Feelers ride the wave on difficult days? Here are a few coping methods that might just get you through.
Talk it out
Feelers make sense of the world through their emotions and instincts. So, if your emotions are telling you something is wrong and you don’t know why, it can be challenging to process the situation and get back to feeling positive and hopeful. You’ll carry on feeling out of whack.
One of the best ways to explore your feelings and get to the root of the issue is to simply talk it out. Find someone you trust and ask them to help you explore why you might be feeling a certain way. You can start by throwing yourself a little pity party but ultimately, you’re there to uncover how and why the things you are feeling are impacting your ability to work or enjoy your favorite activities.
Not only will talking help you to glean a better understanding of your feelings, but you’ll also feel supported and loved by the people in your life. As a people-oriented person, you thrive on your relationships with others. Bringing someone into your heart will give you a sense of safety and comfort, and this can go a long way to putting a Feeler at ease.
If you’re not in the mood to talk, consider searching for another outlet. Engaging in a creative activity is an excellent way to navigate your feelings and release tension you didn’t realize you were holding.
If you like to write, you can put your feelings down in a journal. Allow the words to flow and you might be surprised at some of the true things that come out. Maybe you’re more interested in visual art. Painting, drawing, or even creating collages can help you to find those buried feelings and make sense of them.
The best part is, you don’t need to be a professional artist to find relief and comfort in creating. People have used arts and crafts to understand themselves and the world around them since the first civilization, and you can too. Creating something will help to ground you and to organize and make sense of what you’re experiencing, so you can address the issue and begin moving forward.
You may also want to take a class or learn something totally new. Not only will it provide an opportunity to create, but you’ll meet and engage with like-minded people. For extraverted Feelers in particular, surrounding yourself with others can pull you out of a mental rut.
Change your environment
Sometimes the best way to boost your mood is to simply change your space. Fresh air does wonders on gray days, so put on your walking shoes and head outside for a scenery switch. You can play your favorite book or music or simply watch the world around you, listen to the birds, and feel the sun on your face.
To start, you’ll be able to walk away from some of the factors that might be causing you stress or sadness, like work or home responsibilities. Putting distance between you and the problem often makes it easier to work through tricky problems and face changes with fresh eyes. Beyond that, studies have shown that being outside helps to boost the body’s happiness hormones and reduces stress at the chemical level. Even a short walk can make a huge difference.
If you like to meet new people, consider volunteering. Volunteering is an excellent way to refocus your thoughts, meet others who are dedicated to doing good, and engage in work that helps both your head and heart. For extraverted Feelers who are struggling with down days, helping and being around other people can be just the remedy to get back on your feet and feel like life is really worth living.
Exercise has proven time and again to reduce stress and factors that can contribute to anxiety, and to make you feel happy and hopeful. And it works for all kinds of activities. Whether you like running in the morning or practicing a restorative yoga session before bed, you’ll see your mood naturally go up and feel a sense of hope and possibility.
Explore different types of exercise options, like hiking, dancing, or swimming to find the right one for your lifestyle. Maybe you want to join a class or work out with a local boot camp to feel inspired and supported by a community.
Escape for a while
When you’re just not feeling it, one great way to get back onto your feet is to escape into another world. Whether you have a book that you just love or you’re really into a new television program, time away from the matters that are troubling you can really make a difference.
Feelers are incredibly empathetic people and it can be helpful to focus your emotions on the experiences of someone else for a short while, even if that someone is fictional. That way when you come back, you’ll feel refreshed and more ready to tackle your own feelings.
For next-level escapism, why not plan a viewing party with friends and fellow fans? Make snacks, play games, and discuss all your favorite plot points and character journeys. Not only is escaping into fantasy or romance a great way to balance your thoughts, but making a party out of it can help you to embrace your passions and feel recharged by friends and family.
Address the issue head on
Sometimes the best way for Feelers to deal with their emotions when times get a little tough is to look them right in the eye. Because you navigate and understand the world through emotion, keeping your feelings bottled up or hoping they’ll simply go away on their own doesn’t work. It only makes that gray mood last for longer.
Instead, consider addressing the problem directly and looking at your opportunities for change or adjustment. This might mean sitting down with your own thoughts and teasing out how you feel, or maybe you want to join a group or one-on-one therapy program to discuss your emotional needs and get feedback and support. It may seem a little scary at first, but until you acknowledge a problem exists, it is impossible to fix it.
Remember that it’s temporary
When you’re hitting a bumpy batch or just can’t seem to keep your head up, remember that everything will be okay. Moods are fleeting; situations are temporary. Even if it’s not today or tomorrow, you’ll feel relief from your down days at some point. This moment will pass and better ones lie ahead.
Remember, down days happen to everyone. Yes, a Feeling type might be particularly affected because of their connection to their emotions and the value they place on their feelings. That’s okay. There is no guilt or shame in not having the perfect mood all the time.
But even as a Feeler, it’s important to remember that your emotions don’t get to rule your life at every moment. Practice mindfulness, find the resources you deserve, engage with others and the world around you, and be honest with yourself about what you need and what you’re feeling. Those down days, when they come, will be easier to manage, and you’ll be able to focus on being the best version of yourself possible.
Toby I (not verified) says...
I recently found out I'm an INFP, so a lot of these tips will come in handy, especially when I'm at work. I'm a roofing contractor and notice that anytime the weather is dark and gloomy, so is my mood. Thanks for sharing!