10 Reasons Why Everyone Should Have a Rational Friend

Clinically Reviewed by Steven Melendy, PsyD. on October 15, 2018
Categories: INTJ, INTP, ENTP, ENTJ

If you have the opportunity to be friends with a Rational personality type, you are so lucky! Intuitive-Thinkers are the type of friends who will stay up late with you dissecting the meaning of life, motivate you to improve yourself, keep every one of your secrets, never sweat the small stuff and give back exactly what you invest. If you are loyal to a Rational, they will be your best friend for life.

Maybe you don't already have a Rational friend. If not, you're missing out. Here's why:

#1: They Tell It Like It Is (Though Not Always Nicely)

For NFs and SJs, honesty is a sensitive thing. These personalities will lie out of kindness to protect your feelings because they think that friendship is more important than the unvarnished truth. NTs, on the other hand, trust reason implicitly. They aren't the types to play mind games or go behind people's backs. When you ask for advice, a Rational will cut to the chase without any BS or sugar coating. It can be painful to hear if you're not used to receiving the brutal truth, but it's said with good intentions.

#2: They Will Never Lie to You

In the same vein, when you are friends with a Rational, you can expect them to tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Lying is non-factual and therefore to be avoided, unless a truthful response could be seen as callous or tactless. In those situations, a Rational might simply apply the poker face and keep quiet. So, if you ever need to know that you're not being lied to, then a Rational is your (wo)man.

Of course, this only applies in situations when someone's trust is on the line. If the Rational is in a jokey mood, you'll get whatever version of reality they're experimenting with in that moment. Dropping a playful reality bomb is the NT's way of letting you know that he likes you.  

#3: They'll Challenge You To Be Better

Calling an NT future-oriented would be an understatement. They all have big plans for the future and enjoy strategizing about how to achieve those hopes and dreams. One of the things they provide in a friendship is a desire to constantly improve themselves or get better at something – and their focus is contagious. When an NT discovers something you want, they'll provide a huge amount of direction and motivation to help you reach your goals.

#4: They Get Over Stuff

NTs would rather end a fight than hold a grudge. They're not passive, and they definitely will hold their ground if it's an intellectual fight you're having, but it's not worth the effort for them to actively hold a grudge past its use-by date. In fact, it's a total waste of energy. Having an argument is quite an impersonal thing to a Rational, so even if he initially blows up, the relationship should soon go back to normal with no hard feelings. (He'll still think your logic sucks, though.)

Just don't expect forgiveness if you seriously harm, betray or try to manipulate your Rational. If he decides you're untrustworthy, he'll terminate the friendship. It's as simple as that.

#5: You'll Never Have Nobody to Talk To

INTJs and INTPs are not known for being socially receptive but that doesn't mean they won't be there for you when you need to rant, brainstorm or have a shoulder to cry on. Rationals may not enjoy small talk but if you're ready to get deep about politics, the nature of the universe or your own sinful desires, then a Rational is always open for business. It is both great and terrible how Rationals debate, so if you want someone to challenge your ideas or play devil's advocate, call a Rational friend. No subject is taboo, either, so even if your problem's not suitable for dinner-party conversation, you can count on a Rational to hear you out.

#6: You Can Keep Your Secrets to Yourself

Don't feel like revealing your soul? That's perfectly fine with a Rational. This is the only temperament who will sit with you for hours, dissecting the meaning of life, and never once ask you to pour your heart out. They're not interested in exposing your secrets. Actually, they'll think it's a bit weird if you choose to spill your secrets because they're private people; they keep their softer side closely guarded and expect others to do the same.

Overshare and you won't regret it, though. Rationals understand how hard it is to open up and make yourself vulnerable to someone – they would never abuse that trust. If you do feel the urge to open up, know that you can trust a Rational to keep your secrets 'til the end of time.

#7: They Are Great in a Crisis

Illnesses, career wobbles, breakups, lovesickness, money troubles – Rationals are seriously great when stress shows up. Crises are what they function best in, so if you need a wise solution and fast, speak to a Rational friend. No matter what you're struggling with, they'll encourage you to see all sides of the situation and recognize that there's always a way out. It's all about perspective.

Just don't show up being a drama queen. Rationals can't deal with those who constantly throw themselves a pity party. If you're always operating in crisis mode and you refuse to take ownership of your problems, then you'll quickly lose a Rational's respect.

#8: They Accept You For All Your Quirks

Rationals couldn't care less about social rules, conventions or appearances, so you will never have to put on a show. You're not an accessory that can make the Rational's "cool clique" even cooler, because Rationals don't have cliques and they're not that cool. They'll take you as you are with all your quirks and craziness, and they won't get embarrassed if you're operating outside of social norms. In fact, they'll encourage it! After all, it's your life. You should decide how to run it.

#9: They Give You Freedom

So you want to drop off the radar for a few months, ignoring every social engagement and doing your own thing? Rational friends accept that. Most NTs do very poorly if they feel restricted in a friendship, so they completely get it if you need to exist in your own little bubble for a while. In fact, they'd prefer it if you both gave each other the freedom to come and go as you please. A good friend will check in with you if it's been too long, but they'll never put demands on you or insist that you hang out according to a set routine. There's no codependence in this relationship!

#10: They Are The Exact Opposite of a Fair-weather Friend

Rationals are self-reliant and autonomous people. They don't make friends because they're supposed to – they make friends because they choose to. If you are friends with a Rational, it's because you're interesting and you're valued. You're a trusted member of a pretty exclusive club.

Loyalty doesn't even begin to explain the lengths a Rational will go to to help a genuine friend. It takes a lot for them to invest in a friendship, and a lot more to scare them away once they've made that investment. Rationals are honorable people, and absolutely trustworthy, so that when they make a promise, you can be sure that they will keep it. If someone tries to hurt you, you can be sure your Rational will step in before you can even blink. Hell hath no fury like a Rational whose friend has been betrayed – they will stick with you to the bitter end!  

Jayne Thompson

Jayne is a freelance copywriter, business writer and the blog editor here at Truity. One part word nerd, two parts skeptic, she helps clients discover the amazing power of words on a page. She lives with her ENTX husband and children in Yorkshire, UK, where she drinks a lot of tea and loves winding people up. Find Jayne at White Rose Copywriting.

More from this author...
About the Clinical Reviewer

Steven Melendy, PsyD., is a Clinical Psychologist who received his doctorate from The Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. He specializes in using evidence-based approaches in his work with individuals and groups. Steve has worked with diverse populations and in variety of a settings, from community clinics to SF General Hospital. He believes strongly in the importance of self-care, good friendships, and humor whenever possible.


Marcia (not verified) says...

Not sure about other Rationals, but I trust people until given a reason not to. If I get a bad feeling about them right from the start, well that's different. I trust my intuition (I'm an INTJ) and I am not a suspicious person. Just the opposite of my ESTJ hubby. Everyone is scrutinized until proven to be OK. 

I agree with your list. One thing that wasn't specifically mentioned was the 'door slam'. Once you ruin a friendship, INJs will cut you out of their lives in a heartbeat. Time is a precious commodity for us and we don't have time to waste on people unworthy of our trust, friendship and attention. 

Thanks for the great article.       Marcie

IMF (not verified) says...

Yes, the ‘door slam’ definitely. INTJs also learn quickly and will shut out offending people because their games are not worth our time. 

Shaneka (not verified) says...

I really like this list. As I was reading I figured out that I am a rational person myself. This list represents me well.

Jennifer (not verified) says...

This is my husband and I feel so lucky! It is hard when he challenges me, but I am grateful for it later.

Lisa Campbell (not verified) says...

Wow. You really hit the nail straight on the head. It's a small... interesting group that gets to call me "friend," but we're happy to be there. Thanks for a great article .

Betty Marlowe (not verified) says...

I'm definitely a rational person I see myself in every one of those points. Sometimes the truth hurts but my friends can count on Me in almost all situations 

Soul Sin (not verified) says...

Great article

....and enter the ENTP.

Ok . So I do want to point out a few things though, for the most part, it is definitely true but there is always a median. These were just the excessive traits of the rational types. 

1. ENTP uses Ne (extroverted intuition a lot)  so before we do say anything at all, we kind of contemplate the outcome before we say it. Is it going to hurt this person's feelings? Is this my ride home? Let's wait until after New Years when we have a major hangover before saying anything or let's not say anything at all because it might not end well. We can pretty much sense when the conversation is going to end well or if its approachable. As much as the stereotype is about how we love to debate, we pick our battles. If we are telling you things that can hurt your feelings, it is only because we don't care for you from the beginning so steer clear of THAT ENTP.

2. Yeah, we won't lie to you but if you don't have anything nice to say, let's just say we won't say anything at all.

3. LOL I don't care for anyone to improve. I can suggest but I'll be at the bar. Find me when you think you got it.

4. ENTP's do get over things. Heck, half the time, we don't even care if things don't work out whether it's a project, investment, friendship, relation, etc. Now I can tell you that the ENTJ's do NOT get over anything. Boyyyyyy, they will remember you and everything that you've done to them lol. Stay clear of those guys. They hold grudges. INTJs... not so much. They can be passive aggressive if they want to but they'll forget you exist. INTP? Yeah, they probably don't even remember anything that happened two days ago, so you are in the clear. They're too busy in their head.

5. INTJ, ENTJ, and INTP won't talk for too long but if you want a great conversation, find an ENTP. We are born available. 

6. I have people tell me secrets all the time and I never tell a soul. That's only because I don't care about the secrets. It's just another part of your life that you were sharing at the moment.

7. I don't understand the stress and I don't understand how anyone can be stressed, so yes if you bring your drama to an ENTP, we will laugh at you. Not the best people to become overreactive around. That's a fair warning.

8. ENTPs love quirks. It's the best thing ever made in human emotions! :D

9. I'll see you when you get back.

10. ENTP's values the ideas and not the people. We like the mental challenges that people give us. Don't get me wrong, we are great friends because we are listeners and your feelings matters... somewhat. We tell you we care... somewhat. We can show empathy. We keep you around even if we don't like you. I think the word friendship doesn't define the same way in the mind of an ENTP oppose to other personality types. Acquaintances make more sense because half the time, ENTP is drawn to what is going on around them and not the people around them.

Overall, yeah this was too general when it comes to explaining the rational types. It kind of mixed us all up and I can tell you now that all the rationals are not alike in those categories. Thanks for the read though. 

Soul Sin ❦​ ENTP Diary

Greta (not verified) says...

This is good, thanks.

  1. That ENTP seems to enjoy antagonizing my family. ? We haven’t talked in several yrs & I feel a bit heartless realizing it’s tough to hold out hope that he’ll change. Well, if he refuses to even be civil, good riddance.
  2. A pet peeve: being put in the position of someone expecting a white lie from me. I guess the stereoype is a husband whose wife asks, ‘Do these pants make me look fat?’ ?‍♀️ What does she expect him to say? Why does she even ask? Why does she wear pants that, yes, do make her look fat? Simple why they do: they’re obviously too tight around her bigger parts. Or worse, leggings, with just a long shirt, making her thighs & hips look like jiggly sausages. ? Always makes me cringe. (Well, there’s the occasional woman w/ a perfect figure, but regardless, it’s immodest. I just glance at a person & feel like a voyeur, & conspicuous & embarrassed.) Leggings are not pants & shirts are not dresses. So glad no one has ever asked me don’t I love her legging-&-long-shirt combo. Would have to say, making an effort to unclench my teeth, ‘That’s a good color for you,’ (well, if it were 1) or something. I don’t have ‘gal-pals’ I go out shopping w/ or whatever.
  3. I’m not so future-oriented, not in the usu. sense. Of course I want my kids to grow up to be good & successful & happy. Of course I want my life to be happy & comfortable. But I totally don’t have a step-by-step plan: I’m an INTP, so I have a general idea, but how to get there I’m figuring out as I go along. My brain isn’t able to set up long-term strategies. I can see 1 or 2 steps ahead, & the rest of the path is foggy. Trying to imagine just where the next step leads into the fog, what may be encountered there, how to react, & how to remain on course through even further steps is overwhelming. Countless possible branches, too many of which seem plausible. Too many things to try to hold in my mind together in 1 spot. This is why I’m disastrous at chess. Prefer backgammon. Don’t have that strong drive for self-improvement. INTPs want to discover interesting things, find out ‘why’, go in deeper, obtain more truth… Most people gain knowledge & mental skills to get a job, & being useful at the job is the fulfilling part, but the INTP gets a job & is useful to gain the knowledge (or to fund hobbies in which he gains knowledge) & mental skills, & the knowledge & mental skills are the fulfilling parts. Also, INTP motivation is not the usual, enthusiastic motivation, just calm & logical.
  4. Totally right about INTPs forgetting! ? No, we don’t have the patience or energy or space in our memories to devote to keeping score, e.g. I sent so-&-so a Christmas card last yr, but that person didn’t send me one, so this yr I will not send 1…who gives whom a present & for what holiday…so-&-so didn’t say ‘Hi’ to me, so he must hate me (or be plotting something, or whatever)…that silly idea that a guest at a wedding is supposed to spend on a present the same amount the food he eats cost (like it’s on the invitation? ‘Your plate will cost us $50! Plus interest on our loan!’ ? …wedding debt…that’s insane…) regardless of how much spending money either party might have… No: interpersonally complicated, petty, & dramaticI had no idea if everyone brought a present at all to my wedding. Didn’t care either. Concentrated on producing a pile of thank-you notes. If, for instance, I’ve sent a Christmas card to relatives several yrs in a row & never have gotten 1 back or have heard from them all that time, OK, I won’t bother anymore. But I still love them & will treat them just as well when I see them again. And people whom we know have betrayed us, tearing apart our family, those are dead to us. People who have undermined our family, are cut off until they are at least normal to us again. Like that 1 ENTP, older relative-by-marriage—over the course of a couple yrs (w/o being asked his opinion) opposed our (successful) decision to home-school our kids, was invited over to our house but then badgered us about politics long enough to upset my calm ISTJ husband & make me leave the rm in exasperation, made a crude sexual joke w/ our son, when he was about 14—creepy!—& more. (I would like an apology for the undermining, b/c that’s pretty serious.) And some relatives have been too stressful, so I haven’t called them in a long time. (I have chronic mono, which they hardly acknowledge or remember, mono made worse by stress. So that’s on hold & someday I will probably be somewhat better & be able to negotiate to fix things w/ them.) But little details—hate them. Want to have fun & relax instead. Besides my having to put stressful relatives on hold, you are a friend so I forgive & forget everything, except if you have unmistakably demonstrated that you are an enemy, & then I have to try to forgive, & do try to forget you. ?
  5. If the conversation gets into a subject I like a lot & know more than a little about (e.g. certain areas of philosophy & theology) or I have an exciting (to an INTP) story to tell about the subject, I can talk (or write, obviously!) for a long time. But chatting about other things…I’ll be really quiet. Just don’t have much meaningful to say about them. Maybe ENTPs, & maybe others, can a lot talk about everything.
  6. Yeah, I don’t need anyone to tell super-personal feelings or embarrassing secrets. I hate prying. I even felt awkward the other day when, after a lady at church, a slight acquaintance, asked me if we have to drive far to come & I said we came ½ hr from a small town outside the city, I reciprocally asked her where she came from (10 min. away in the city). I don’t like us all to be strangers, but just asking a slightly personal question is tough for me. Would much rather to pick everything up incidentally in natural conversations. But once someone asked me to never tell anyone about something horrible that happened to him, & I was sad & sympathetic about it, so was glad he had told me, but have never told the secret to anyone. Writing even this much, & w/ my real name, is too close to betrayal for comfort, but that’s the best example I have.
  7. I’m good w/ only certain crises. Not w/ the ones that someone’s life is in immediate danger or there’s blood & gore—well, just gore—when you have to think fast. INTPs need to think slowly, to consider everything. Or if there are any centipedes—those are creepily terrifying, the ones that come into houses—nightmare. Then I panic & tear out of the rm away from the centipedes so they won’t touch me. Or like when I tried to train my Rottweiler & she bit my hand & after the fact I realized I should have gotten several stitches (didn’t want to bother my husband to take me…I was sure he had thought dog-training was a bad idea…but he had bought a breed-specific training book…). I was cleaning it & bandaging it, & kept feeling faint & sick & had to lie down & take breaks. (Hand is OK now, just some scars on the palm.) As you might surmise, I’m a HSP too, like physically a lot. And not emotionally but socially, of course. My oldest kids (ISTP son & ISFP daughter) are calm about those things. They could be EMTs or nurses easily. And my husband. He was once a nurse. But the kind of problems, like in the article, in which there’s time to sit back & be objective, & do research! (INTPs love researching. One of my specialties.) No or little time-pressure, no chaos around me. And right: please do not get me involved in drama, put me in between people at odds; I will shut down. I can help in those other situations. Will figure out the most logical thing to do.
  8. Quirks are fun. INTPs are not big on formalities. Well, I go along w/ them for the sake of other people & for my church. I believe it’s logical & thus right, & I’d hate standing out anyway, being the only different person. But I’m pretty laid-back. People can be super-casual w/ me. Having fun is the main thing.
  9. I drop off the radar myself a lot, maybe for a longer time. I still go to church whenever I’m not too sick for it though. Unless you go to coffee hr, there’s no social engagement, except for some formalities. I’m a Byzantine Catholic, so everything is stylized. Simple even when I don’t want to talk to people. I need to drop off radar b/c, e.g. I provide a thoroughly logical response in a discussion, but then other people might seemingly refuse to be logical, it seems we can’t have a discussion together, then I start to get exasperated. Can’t have any stress. So I give up on the discussion. Like somebody looking for a discussion posted an essay that tried to prove Christians cannot be demonically possessed. I posted an even longer point-by-point refutation w/ Scriptural references & logical conclusions. For example, when a person already accepted by all as a fellow Christian turns to the occult, some will then say that person was never really a Christian in the 1st place. So I said that’s a No True Scotsman fallacy. I asked what do people expect to happen w/ such hubris as ‘Once Saved Always Saved’? But the response is just something like, ‘I did not engage in a No True Scotsman fallacy,’ & questioning my acceptance of the canonicity of Enoch 1 (on which the argument was partially based, w/ a deduction that the Sons of God were men who turned from God, & became possessed, & that was how demons were able to ‘have’ bodies), b/c supposedly Catholics rejected it. True, it’s not in the Latin Canon, but it’s in the Ethiopian Canon, & thus used by Ethiopian Catholics, making it Catholic Scripture, & besides, even Apocrypha are Scripture, hidden Scripture. The Eastern conception of Scripture is that there isn’t a sharp border, B & W, between the sacred & the profane. Lots of gradation. So I throw up my hands & drop off the radar. And feel embarrassingly like a special snowflake b/c I can’t keep hitting hard in these discussions until I demolish the opposition, like I used to be able to. ?
  10. Already discussed my perspective on this in #4.

Greta (not verified) says...

P.S. Sorry ? there were some misplaced modifiers etc. in that & I can’t edit it. (‘Over the course of a couple yrs’ needs a comma after it, ‘can a lot talk’ is obviously supposed to be ‘can talk a lot’, ‘just asking a slightly personal question’ should be ‘asking a just slightly personal question’, ‘Would much rather to pick everything up’ should be ‘Would much rather pick up everything’, & ‘in which’ should be b/f ‘there’s blood & gore’.)

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