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ESTJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the ESTJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the ESTJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The ESTJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between ESTJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

ESTJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the ESTJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the ESTJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the ESTJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the ESTJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

ESTJs in Love

In relationships, the ESTJ is dependable, responsible, and opinionated. ESTJs appreciate routine and family traditions, and want stability and security in their home life. They tend to have very structured lives and organized homes.

ESTJs can be domineering, and often want to dictate schedules and procedures for the people around them. Decisive and strong-willed, they are sometimes impatient with their partners' feelings. They may need to work on relaxing control and opening the lines of communication.

ESTJs want a relationship they can rely on, and one that helps them live out their ideals of a traditional home life. ESTJs value a partner who appreciates their responsibility and productivity, and one who notices the ESTJ’s tangible contributions to the relationship.

ESTJs as Parents

As parents, ESTJs insist on clear roles and expectations. They emphasize respect for authority and for the rules of the household. ESTJ parents often take control of the family and assign jobs and duties to family members, expecting that these roles be carried out without complaint.

ESTJs are traditionalists with a strong appreciation for holidays, ceremonies, and cultural occasions, and often connect with their children through established rituals. The ESTJ’s ultimate goal in parenting is to raise their children to be hardworking, productive, and observant of the rules and expectations of society.

For more information: Please Understand Me II

ESTJ Communication Style

ESTJs are practical, action-oriented communicators. They often assume control and communicate to organize and determine what needs to be done. ESTJs are clear about expectations and procedures; they explain the necessary steps as well as how and when tasks should be completed. They are open to debate and criticism, but want rules to be followed and work to get done. They are focused on tasks and results and have little patience for deviation or nonconformity.

About the Author

Molly Owens is the CEO of Truity and holds a master's degree in counseling psychology. She founded Truity in 2012, with the goal of making quality personality tests more affordable and accessible. She has led the development of assessments based on Myers and Briggs' personality types, Holland Codes, the Big Five, DISC, and the Enneagram. She is an ENTP, a tireless brainstormer, and a wildly messy chef. Find Molly on Twitter at @mollmown.

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