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How do ESTJs communicate?

ESTJs are practical, action-oriented communicators. They often assume control and communicate to organize and determine what needs to be done. ESTJs are clear about expectations and procedures; they explain the necessary steps as well as how and when tasks should be completed. They are open to debate and criticism, but want rules to be followed and work to get done. They are focused on tasks and results and have little patience for deviation or nonconformity.

What are ESTJs like as partners?

In relationships, the ESTJ is dependable, responsible, and opinionated. ESTJs appreciate routine and family traditions, and want stability and security in their home life. They tend to have very structured lives and organized homes.

ESTJs can be domineering, and often want to dictate schedules and procedures for the people around them. Decisive and strong-willed, they are sometimes impatient with their partners' feelings. They may need to work on relaxing control and opening the lines of communication.

ESTJs want a relationship they can rely on, and one that helps them live out their ideals of a traditional home life. ESTJs value a partner who appreciates their responsibility and productivity, and one who notices the ESTJ’s tangible contributions to the relationship.

What are ESTJs like as parents?

As parents, ESTJs insist on clear roles and expectations. They emphasize respect for authority and for the rules of the household. ESTJ parents often take control of the family and assign jobs and duties to family members, expecting that these roles be carried out without complaint.

ESTJs are traditionalists with a strong appreciation for holidays, ceremonies, and cultural occasions, and often connect with their children through established rituals. The ESTJ’s ultimate goal in parenting is to raise their children to be hardworking, productive, and observant of the rules and expectations of society.

For more information: Please Understand Me II

ESTJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the ESTJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the ESTJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The ESTJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between ESTJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

ESTJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the ESTJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the ESTJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the ESTJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the ESTJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

Are you an ESTJ?

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Check out the ESTJ Discussion Forum

Want to have a more in-depth conversation about being an ESTJ? Head on over to our discussion forum and post your questions, comments, and/or general musings!

Comments

Doug Carr (not verified) says...

It seems to be right on target with a lot of things. However, I do like my alone time of being an introvert.

Guest (not verified) says...

You may be an ISTJ...

Guest (not verified) says...

I feel the same way

Guest (not verified) says...

then you are probably an istj

Les (not verified) says...

Me too Doug! I do like my chill out time where I endulge in things that boost my creativity and make me think about things non-work related. Best example is a stage performer who behind the stage keeps to him/herself, is quiet, reads books in the corner, etc. However once they hit the stage, a change occurs and ....wow!

jesshorselover221 (not verified) says...

this is good KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!

Tanny (not verified) says...

The estj profile for me is almost exactly the way I am. However, on ocassion I am willing to stray out of confirmity.

Guest (not verified) says...

I agree and

Ren (not verified) says...

I think it's important to note that it's not "conform no matter what", but "stick to successful strategy unless it doesn't work anymore". That's how I feel about a lot of civil rights issues. If it were working under the present conditions, I'd let it slide, but when our society is pressuring conformity without logical reasoning, then it's time to change.

Guest (not verified) says...

I need to find a partner that is an estj

amina.x.amara says...

if you're a man , then I am the woman for you ! But what is your profile ?

Guest (not verified) says...

Avoid the INFP. They are super intuitive and will eventually resent your relationship behavior.

Riley Martin (not verified) says...

I am so happy with my personality it is siiiickkk

Jason Hawkins (not verified) says...

i agree with it because i do like to get stuff done and i work

Guest (not verified) says...

Hi ESTJ. I'm am INTP who enjoys finding like minded people like myself which isn't easy. Being a female INTP is about 2% or so of the planet - the so called elusive. So here I am online to find a decent conversation. I basically harass/and or enjoy talking to everyone - depending on their MB type of course. I am especially drawn to ESTJ's however. In a way quite the opposite. BUT wait. Not completely. I love to shake up the ESTJ's- tradition, order, socially acceptable behavior. How boring. But hey, they are great as the THINKERS. Yes that is the good part. The logic. I say, just take that beautiful sensible logic, authority and confidence, to determine when to take that elevator home at 4:30 like the other slackers to take a walk on the beach. Since you only live once. Yes, that is a fact- you only live once. Too bad for you poor hardworking ESTJ's. Missing out on all the fun, all work and no play. Thats what your MB profile says. I work for the money baby. To stash it away. To be an ESTJ and work for work sake sounds like a death sentence. LOL. Just having fun here, just joking around tonight. :)

lovely lokaa . (not verified) says...

it worked for mee

Guest (not verified) says...

Anyone else catch the narrator saying, "And 6 percent of females." when the graph shows 8 percent? (around 2:12)

Guest (not verified) says...

Ha!! We are all ESTJs, so likely we all caught that. :)

Guest (not verified) says...

Or an intp. Reading this forum is cracking me up. The estjs are in love with themselves lol. But really that is a good thing overall.

Guest (not verified) says...

An I to would catch that as well. :)

Guest (not verified) says...

An I to would catch that as well. :)

manic (not verified) says...

i feel partially leaderistic and yet follower as well.

MariBossa2016 (not verified) says...

I'm not alone. This makes me happy. FACTS..... Leaders rule!! And women rock!!! Go ESTJ's!!!!!

Ignacio Beltrán (not verified) says...

That´s what my best friend, a Psychologist says. However, he hates to accept my superior arrival to conclusions. Of course, I kindly point to the good points of his logic and we continue to be friends.

Guest (not verified) says...

Keep getting estj in personality tests. Couldn't agree more and this is why I never understood things theoretical and never got why people get so emotional in life let alone films and entertainment. I'm so different from everyone in my immediate family that I believe I'm adopted at times.

Guest (not verified) says...

Hello Everyone:

I liked all the descriptions except the jobs that I wouldn't like,because they were exactly the ones I would like: librarian social scientist and more. What about you?

Sandra

Shazad (not verified) says...

This was very interesting, as I took an extensive test and I got ESTJ.
I am very confident and some people can't handle my straight forward attitude. I am a business man and I am very structured and have a certain way of doing things.
My quarters are uncluttered and I have organized everything.
I was very hesitant about these tests but this has been spot on as to who I am.
ESTJs rule, I love my self regardless of how people think I am.
I like my principles and I have served in the army also, as I am getting older I find it very interesting of the person I am becoming.

Rehana (not verified) says...

I have gone through the analysis of ESTJ and agree with all that has been written with regards to the personality traits of this type. More or less I do [posses these qualities and feel so nice when i read it as it helps me understand myself better. Thanks

Mindy K. Shadle (not verified) says...

This describes me very well. I have a lot in common with what this says.

Guest (not verified) says...

I am an infp and I love my estj girlfriend. She gets things done and she knows how she wants things. I admire her for it.

brianhatcher31 says...

Hmm . I am am ESTJ, but years ago I thought I was an INFJ. My tests almost always show a balance from 45% to 52% str8 across the board with All the types. But I am at 58% at ESTJ these days. My Dad was strict so I was forced to play the introvert and be quiet and more perceptive. Anyway... my wife is an INFJ.....maddening! Lol.

Morgan Ward (not verified) says...

After taking the test, and reviewing what the studies have described me to be, I would agree strongly with all of this. I am an athlete, and I love to take control and know that the situation is in control and structured. I love to know what is expected, and for everyone to have the same idea and guidelines for the assignment/project.

RachaelC (not verified) says...

Hi all... I have been trying to research myself for once... I usually get deep into details and pickup on the slightest things... most of what I read says that we estj hold jobs for long time... I have a problem with that... once I work somewhere I am very determined to do my part and people tend to feel like I am showing them up or something or even the male bosses seem intimidated... I am currently an admin assitant running the office on my own no help literally... while they are training me same time to be operations support assistant... it is too much I know I can do it all but not as fast as they would like... so the other isue is once I don't feel appreciated for the effort and time I put in... I just want to leave I don't want to stay where not respected... like I usually come in an hour early and stay over by an hour to get the work done... any suggestions for high paying career without having to go back to college... please and thank you!

Sanjay Gore (not verified) says...

I am happy to know my personality is ESTJ though need help to develop as ENFpinspiring & ENTp visionary 

That would shape up my character 

Any thoughts...

Think and Do (not verified) says...

I have known that I am an ESTJ for a long time.  Most of the sites online hit it right on the head with their descriptions of my type.  Over the last six years I have learned to add empathy and emotion to my character type, and when I took the profile test again I was stunned to find out that I am an even stronger ESTJ now.  I agree with most on this thread that being an ESTJ rocks.  Unfortantely, while we appreciate who we are, it can be very challenging for non-thinkers, non-doers and non-traditionalists to understand and put up with us.  I have dated quite a bit and women love me because I am smart, organized, have my life completely in order, have been in a great job for a long time and generally have my stuff together.  What often happens is that this means the initial months of dating are great, then the woman comes to rely on me more like daddy than their partner.  I would love to meet a self aware, intelligent, action oriented, communicationally up front, high integrity woman who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her.  We value our time alone, and cherish our time together.  Like all ESTJ's, I am very social, love to engage strangers as much as life long friends and would love to meet a woman who is a compliment to me - not a carbon copy.  Thanks for reading.  

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