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ESFPs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the ESFP's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the ESFP as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The ESFP may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between ESFPs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

ESFPs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the ESFP initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the ESFP, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the ESFP's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the ESFP's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

ESFPs in Love

In relationships, the ESFP is generous, friendly, sympathetic, and affectionate. ESFPs are eager to please their partners and motivated to create a fun, harmonious, and active home. They often enjoy family life tremendously and typically prioritize socializing with loved ones above all else.

ESFPs tend to avoid conflict and may have trouble being serious, preferring to move on with their active lives rather than have an uncomfortable discussion. They are tuned into the needs of the people around them, but prefer to do something constructive to take care of their loved ones, rather than spend time hashing out difficult issues.

ESFPs are supportive of their mates and try to take good care of their families, but can be impulsive as they pursue the pleasures of life. They may go where the wind blows and neglect to follow up on responsibilities. They are characteristically spontaneous and usually dislike a structured lifestyle.

ESFPs want a partner who supports them in their lifelong pursuit of fun and excitement. An ideal mate for an ESFP is affectionate and appreciative of the ESFP’s generosity and desire to be helpful to others.

ESFPs as Parents

As parents, ESFPs are loving, affectionate, and fun, and usually like to have their households full of people having a good time. They may have many children, and are good at responding to their families' practical needs.

ESFPs may be a bit unpredictable or scattered, and will prefer to engage everyone in a fun activity rather than impose rules or discipline. They do not tend to take life seriously, and often consider it more important to provide excitement and fun than to create structure or stability for their children.

For more information: Please Understand Me II

ESFP Communication Style

ESFPs are enthusiastic, light-hearted communicators. They often love just interacting with people, with no particular goal in mind, and tend to keep conversations fun and full of laughter. ESFPs are free with compliments and energy, and and often draw people in with their positive approach and ability to observe other people’s needs. ESFPs are good problem-solvers when it comes to practical and interpersonal issues, but they tend to avoid negativity; discussions that turn to criticism or conflict will send the ESFP running.

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Comments

Daybreak (not verified) says...

 

The complete opposite of me (INFJ). Every ESFP has always been the complete opposite of me, we have never got on and out relationships were the worst roller coaster rides ever. Now I finally see why.

Sylvana (not verified) says...

INTJ with a very good ESFP friend. Works great - she gets me out of my shell and I listen to her. She respects my need for alone time and structure and order, and I respect her need for company and openess and people. We both discover worlds we wouldn't never have discovered on our own. For many years now. Its the connection that counts, not the type. Although MBTI helped us to understand each other much better.

Chei (not verified) says...

I have a Esfp friend and she's fun to talk to and I like to hangout with her sometimes, when I'm talking about idea or something unnecessary things to say like theory or I even just asking her opinion about something unnecessary too, she ignored me :/

She ever told me that I'm too perfectionist, but I'm not, I just like to create something with concepts and even create something with vague explanation.

But I like how her can stand with my spontaneity, cuz we both xxxP

 

 

 

 

 

i'm entp btw

sk.zhong.2014 says...

I Finally understood my ESFP Mother. My mom and I (I'm an INTJ) clash 95% of the time. As a result, I prefer not to live with her. I'll try to focus more on our shared interests rather than our opposites. Thank you for this! 

DerAdel710 (not verified) says...

HAHAHAHA!!! Welcome to my life, sk.zhong.201...ESFP mother + INTJ son = world war 3

uhKamuii says...

I'm a ESFP and my mom and sister are intps... the pain is real not only to argue all the time but to be brutally beaten in almost every arguement the pain is real

amandahun!! (not verified) says...

My twin brother and older sister are INTP's, it don't go well haha

Walteria28 (not verified) says...

If you need to vent or emotional support I can hear you out with my INFP nature

Myra (not verified) says...

INTJ Friend,

Totally resonated with you. But for me isn't my mom but my ex-husband. Only I found out we clashed on almost everything, but I'm glad that it's over. It'll never happen again-because opposite does attract but it also doesn't work! 
 

Your INTJ friend

lilibean (not verified) says...

I'm an ESFP and my mom is an INFJ and while we don't clash all the time, I never really understood why we constantly disagreed with possible careers for me and what I would be more involved in. I finally took the test and showed her the results. She was shocked and immediately apologized for assuming a lot of what I preferred. We have since grown closer and I'm proud to say I can better understand her and where she was coming from.

mickeyTILLY77 (not verified) says...

that fits me to a t i can go into a bank or grsery store and crack up everyone BUT you know what happens living with that for 28 years gets you // A DIVORCE WE are children in adult bodies im 59 i still think i can play major leauge base ball im retired was a tree climber for 37 years freacken dont save a cent , motorcycle accident broke neck spine 4 months coma im still doing the same crap 7 back opperations im a moron but i have a very high iq go figure

 

Del (not verified) says...

O my god, it is true. I don't really care about being a manager or director and sitting for hours in the office with 8 to 5 working hours. I just wanna have fun in life and do things that I like, and yes it is correct too, I have several hobbies (belly dance, yoga, playing keyboard, sightseeing, etc). And yes sometimes they make me confused! I have left my good career and now working as a freelancer (yup, you're right again, low income) but I am enjoying life! And that's the most important (at least for now) lol.

But I don't really agree that about being in a spotlight, it's rarely happened. I like to be grounded as the test result says and that means, I don't really care about spotlight xD. I love this test tho. I have tried 4 tests, and 2 of the results are ESFP including this.

banana (not verified) says...

lol funny

Rares (not verified) says...

Hi. What do you work as freelancer? I am curious what type of freelancing suits ESFP people

yyyyy says...

  • yuh

beep (not verified) says...

and thats the tea!!!

Kellermikey (not verified) says...

Well this describes me pretty well, so I'm a little bummed to find out airline pilot is one of the careers recommended against. That's what I'm currently in school for. wish me luck!

BG (not verified) says...

You would have the most entertaining airline announcements as an ESFP pilot. 

Patrick Gubbay (not verified) says...

Skeet that yeet

batman (not verified) says...

I'm an INTP and my best friend is an ESFP. Says we aren't supposed to be friends lol

Desi44 (not verified) says...

When I meet new people I get almost exact sense of their intentions and it doesn't take long to get a quick look at their values. Honestly it’s never been wrong I just never understood to articulate it to someone else because I couldn't quite understand it myself. Are all ESFP’s like this?

Barbara Eden (not verified) says...

You're an empath like me!

Guest (not verified) says...

What is the best complement to an esfp in the workplace?

lisacoolen79 says...

Good Job! and Thank you!

Guest (not verified) says...

To all the ESFP girls, I need help!
I am an INFP male and recently started a relationship with an ESFP girl. We knew ourselves since 4 years, but never cared about each other until recently. Anyway, me and her like enjoying each others, but I really don't understand what kind of relationship there is between us. I would like a more romantic relationship, but I don't know how to approach her, and above all I can't understand what she thinks about me. I can't get if she is sending signals I should receive, or if she is just being kind, like she is with everyone. For example, last night we were at a party with music: she was dancing, and I was talking with friends. At a point, she comes to me and asks me to dance with her: I obviously accept and go dance with her (well, she dances, I try to), but after a few minutes she turns around and goes dancing with her (female) friends, leaving me veeery confused. It seems to happen every time: we get along together, she makes me think she has an interest in me, and then she leaves leaving me like a stone. I can't help but feel confused.
What do you think she means? What is she trying to tell me, or is it just my imagination? And, above all, how do you think I should approach her and how can I try to take the relationship to the "next level"? I am naturally very shy and humble, and I am hesitant to make the first move because I am afraid of ruining everything and blowing away every chance.

Thanks for reading this far, hope you can help me.

kendall says...

hey. i see that you are having relationship problems and i am here to help you. she is an outgoing and energetic person. she likes to go woth flow and do whatever, very spontaneous. i hate to say it but she might not really be looking for a relationship right now, and that's ok, but if you wanna tell her how you feel, do it, because if you don't soon she might just wanna be friends and go with the flow. 

 

Lnowebb (not verified) says...

When she went to dance with others, she wasn't ditching you. She genuinely just wants to dance with everyone. I was thinking reading your comment, "take her dancing!" Before reaching the part about her asking you to dance. 
and truthfully, she may be into you and too humble to sense that you may be into her too.

i vote dancing or skating, and some quiet time after to chat. Good luck! 

An ESFP girl (not verified) says...

Well, I think shes just very social. She likes to be friendly with everyone and treats almost everyone equally. Dont be sad if she hugs guys (Unless shes not like that) becase thats her way of being friendly.

Guest (not verified) says...

I'm an ESFP girl and dating a INFP guy right now actually so I understand. In our relationship my boyfriend has always been the more steady and reserved one while I am quite the opposite. So we started our relationship with his persistence in wanting to talk and get to know each other. I often pursued him as well once we got a little further down the road. So to you I would just say stay persistent. Keep asking her to hang out or get coffee or try to talk to her. I'm sure she knows you like her and may like you but may not be sure about it. If she was sure and wanted to date you, you would know it. But outwardly the two types are pretty different so a relationship between the two does not come quickly. You just need to show her what you do have in common and that you are steady and will not be giving up anytime soon!
Don't blame her for leaving quickly though - that's just who we are as ESFPs. My boyfriend still has to deal with feeling like I don't want to talk to him or just left abruptly even though I don't see it as that. We just like to move around and can get distracted easily!
Hope that helps.

Keish (not verified) says...

Go for it and let her know otherwise she will think of you as weak and you will be friend zoned forever. I know this personality tramples all over weak types so you have got to man up while still being respectful and sensitive if you know what i mean. But definitely let her know and tell her you are much more than being friend zoned. Good luck i hope this reply is not too late.

magsbad (not verified) says...

I am an ESFP and I totally agree with Keish. I have to avoid men that appear weak, because I don't want to hurt anyone, and I have a tendency to use but not respect men that don't seem confident. I love men who are confident but not controlling.

lisacoolen79 says...

I am an ESFP girl and maybe she is just getting distracted! That happens with me! And you may just be in the friend zone....sorry! But if she was wanting to be more then friends she would let you know. Just ask her to "come here" and when she does, pick her up and plant a kiss on her, tell her you have been wanting to do that for years. Women like men who take control also (in a good way). If she doesn't like it, move on!
idk if this helps you may already be with her, but good luck in whatever you do!

Guest (not verified) says...

Tell her what you just said ^^^^^!! You already know she has an interest in you, I say you take her on a date or something (she'll see that signal) and tell her that you want to be the "next level" but were always too scared to say anything! Then say something(s) nice about her. And then her true feelings will show! Woo!

Guest (not verified) says...

As an INFP currently in a relationship with an ESFP, I feel your pain. We were also friends before we started dating and I never realized that she was actually interested in me, I kind of thought she just flirted with most people to be honest, and I had just convinced myself I was over her when she asked me out. The whole dancing with you and then leaving you behind is a bit confusing, but it doesn't mean she's not interested! I know it's really hard to do (and that I'm a bit of a hypocrite), but you should just ask her on a date, like going to a movie or ice skating or something lowkey like that. Good luck, I believe in you :)

Guest (not verified) says...

I've always wanted to perform and dance. Now I know why! It's part of me!

Maia S (not verified) says...

After I finished the test I was extremely excited with result as ENFP. I even bought detail version. Then, just from curiosity I checked ESFP description and I am torn appart. I had experienced both sides ,can relate pretty strongly to each description. Any explanation?

Katie (not verified) says...

It's possible to identify strongly with a few different personality types. The first time I took the test it said I was an INTP. I took it again and it said INFP which I think is most accurate. I also identify with a lot of ENTP traits, based on reading the descriptions. So you probably have strong ENFP and ESFP associations. I actually think reading the personality descriptions can be more helpful in figuring out a personality type than taking Truity's test sometimes,  because the test relies on your self perception and you don't always know how to answer the questions, whereas you can just read the statements about the personality types and decide if they fit you or not. 

Kayz (not verified) says...

I am an ENFP but relate pretty strongly to a lot of ESFP things...I do like theories and hypothesis and read into the meanings of things but I tend to get bored of that as well and shut it off and live in the moment at times. I found this article helpful for knowing which one you are:

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2018/11/17/heres-what-makes-enfps-and-e...

My brother is an ESFP and personality theory bores him to death so if this bores u maybe that's an indicator 😄

Guest (not verified) says...

Esfps are 2nd highest in successful marriages but tend to have lower incomes...

Guest (not verified) says...

I took this test a long time ago, and to be honest I thought I had changed completely. I was in a 10 year relationship, where I had become an agoraphobic and very hermit like. And although I am still struggling with that, I truly believed I had changed in every aspect of my personality. But I haven't. So thank you so much for this. Makes me confident that I will go back to being the "me" I used to be.

Carrot cake (not verified) says...

I think esfp is exactly like me it brings out the real personality in me.

nolan (swag muffins) grant (not verified) says...

This is awesome i knew I was this

Guest (not verified) says...

A lot of this didn't sound familiar until I read the research bullets. Those sound like me more than any other personality description I've read anywhere! But I don't watch that much tv, unless it's my husband's day off. He's the tv/movie watcher, and he is ENTP. I can usually get into whatever he's watching, though.

dawson (not verified) says...

spot on

ramtin (not verified) says...

hi there
a question...
I am a estJ ....so I would like to know is it a proper personality for leadership in a team or what.
how can i find it
thanks

Guest (not verified) says...

Although any type can excel in leadership roles, for ESTJs it often comes naturally. Your dominant extraverted thinking function means you tend to be superior at organizing your environment, which includes the people in your space. Also, ESTJs are usually pretty good at figuring out who would be most skilled at what task and they delegate responsibility accordingly, which often results in an efficient team that has the potential to run like a well-oiled machine. In other words, you're good at seeing how people are "useful." Where you guys run into trouble is failing to notice if your team members are actually happy enough with whatever tasks you've assigned them, which can lead to team members experiencing burnout, which ultimately means less productivity and a negative effect on the bottom line. Also, you guys tend to be overly concerned with hierarchy and seniority (which comes from your auxiliary introverted sensing function), which can mean not heeding good advice if it comes from a so-called "underling." As a bank teller with years of experience, I once had a boss with no banking experience who I'm sure was an ESTJ, and even though she didn't really know what she was doing, she wanted us to do her bidding without question, even if her decisions were unwise, simply because her title was "the manager." However, most ESTJs don't get their feelings hurt easily, which means they are good at receiving criticism -- provided it's from their own supervisor or "higher-up."But, they have to respect their superiors, which they will, IF those superiors are reasonably competent. But, they don't take too kindly to just any ol' person telling them they're doing something wrong. At least, that's what I've learned from studying MBTI as a hobby. No expert here.

Guest (not verified) says...

I have been very happily married to an INTJ-Mastermind for 33 years. It's true that his strengths are my weaknesses and visa versa. We have truly learned so much from each other and have helped each other grow in ways that would otherwise seem impossible to learn. Because of our incredible relationship, we have five beautifully well rounded children. Interestingly, we don't have any other extroverts in the fam, wonder why that is? No I am not overbearing, I guess there dad's genes were stronger :)

Guest (not verified) says...

Actually, out of the 8 cognitive functions, ESFPs and INTJs share the same 4 main functions, just in reverse order. The 4 letter preferences are helpful (E versus I, S versus N, etc.), but they only begin to scratch the surface. For example, did you know that we ESFPs share no cognitive functions in common with ESFJs, who differ from us by just one letter? In our hierarchy of functions, ESFPs have dominant extraverted sensing, auxiliary introverted feeling, tertiary extraverted thinking, and inferior introverted intuition. ESFJs, on the other hand, have dominant extraverted feeling, auxiliary introverted sensing, tertiary extraverted intuition, and inferior introverted thinking. It gets pretty crazy (and even more fun) when you consider the hierarchy of functions behind each of the 16 personalities. There are similarities between types that one would not imagine, based on the 4-letter designations.

Guest (not verified) says...

it really understands me!

jimerik (not verified) says...

yeah it was a real opener for me too, it got me real deep. yeahhh

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