In relationships, the ESFJ is supportive, nurturing, and reliable. ESFJs concern themselves with providing practical support to their partners and living up to traditional standards in a relationship: they want to be the "good wife" or husband based on traditional ideals.
ESFJs like an organized life and want their partners to participate in a structured, scheduled lifestyle. They adhere strictly to their own moral code, and want a partner who agrees with them on issues of right and wrong, should and should not. Conscientiousness is important to the ESFJ, and when they follow through responsibly on their promises, they expect the same from others.
ESFJs dislike conflict and are motivated to resolve it quickly. They prefer stable, harmonious relationships and like a partner who is able to be loving and committed, even when the ESFJ has strong emotional reactions. ESFJs appreciate a partner who notices their efforts to provide for their families, and commends them on a job well done.
As parents, ESFJs provide clear structure and loving boundaries. They are interested in providing a safe and stable home with adequate resources, and in instilling a strong moral code and work ethic into their children. They are extremely devoted to their children, and go to tremendous lengths to be sure they are provided for.
ESFJs often strongly identify with their children’s behavior, feeling tremendous pride when they succeed but an enormous sense of personal failure when they do not. ESFJs may become embarrassed and critical of children who do not behave as expected; they want their children to adopt and follow their own strong system of values.
ESFJs are enthusiastic and caring communicators, who want to engage people to contribute and accomplish what needs to be done. They tend to be friendly and to get along easily with others, although they can become frustrated with those who do not respond to their attempts to reach out. They have a good memory for detail, especially facts about other people, and enjoy getting to know people and understanding their needs. ESFJs are factual in their communication, but generally uncomfortable with criticism and conflict, preferring instead to provide support and encouragement to others.