ESFJ
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ESFJs and Other Personality Types

Kindred Spirits

People of the following types are more likely than most to share the ESFJ's values, interests, and general approach to life. They won't necessarily agree on everything, and there's no guarantee they'll always get along, but they're more likely to feel an easy rapport and have plenty of things in common.

Intriguing Differences

People of the following types are likely to strike the ESFJ as similar in character, but with some key differences which may make them seem especially intriguing. The ESFJ may find people of these types particularly interesting and attractive to get to know. Relationships between ESFJs and these types should have a good balance of commonalities and opportunities to challenge one another.

Potential Complements

ESFJs may not feel an immediate connection with people of the following types, but on getting to know each other, they'll likely find they have some important things in common, as well as some things to teach one other. Although people of these types may not attract the ESFJ initially, their relationships present a lot of potential to complement and learn from one other.

Challenging Opposites

People of the following types present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the ESFJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the ESFJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the ESFJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

ESFJs in Love

In relationships, the ESFJ is supportive, nurturing, and reliable. ESFJs concern themselves with providing practical support to their partners and living up to traditional standards in a relationship: they want to be the "good wife" or husband based on traditional ideals.

ESFJs like an organized life and want their partners to participate in a structured, scheduled lifestyle. They adhere strictly to their own moral code, and want a partner who agrees with them on issues of right and wrong, should and should not. Conscientiousness is important to the ESFJ, and when they follow through responsibly on their promises, they expect the same from others.

ESFJs dislike conflict and are motivated to resolve it quickly. They prefer stable, harmonious relationships and like a partner who is able to be loving and committed, even when the ESFJ has strong emotional reactions. ESFJs appreciate a partner who notices their efforts to provide for their families, and commends them on a job well done.

ESFJs as Parents

As parents, ESFJs provide clear structure and loving boundaries. They are interested in providing a safe and stable home with adequate resources, and in instilling a strong moral code and work ethic into their children. They are extremely devoted to their children, and go to tremendous lengths to be sure they are provided for.

ESFJs often strongly identify with their children’s behavior, feeling tremendous pride when they succeed but an enormous sense of personal failure when they do not. ESFJs may become embarrassed and critical of children who do not behave as expected; they want their children to adopt and follow their own strong system of values.

For more information: Please Understand Me II

ESFJ Communication Style

ESFJs are enthusiastic and caring communicators, who want to engage people to contribute and accomplish what needs to be done. They tend to be friendly and to get along easily with others, although they can become frustrated with those who do not respond to their attempts to reach out. They have a good memory for detail, especially facts about other people, and enjoy getting to know people and understanding their needs. ESFJs are factual in their communication, but generally uncomfortable with criticism and conflict, preferring instead to provide support and encouragement to others.

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Comments

TOTALLY an ESFJ (not verified) says...

YES!!! this is me in a nutshell.  I HATE it when people brush off my thoughts/feelings like they don't matter- why do theirs matter and mine don't???? I am SUPER supportive and encouraging, and I love listening to other people's problems, because while I may not have any advice to give, I can still show them I care, and want to listen to what they have to say.  There are so many struggling people in the world- why be critical when you can be loving and supportive?  I am not into clothing or jewelry, as other descriptions of ESFJ's have mentioned, but I feel very passionate when I am doing something to make a difference in people's lives.  

TOTALLY an ESFJ (not verified) says...

I also don't really gossip.... unless it is someone that I cannot stand, but even then, I am careful about who I complain to, usually only one or two people.  When people tell me about their issues, I don't tell everyone else that so and so has this problem.  99% of what people tell me is confidential.

MADREED123 (not verified) says...

I loved this! it totally fits my description. I enjoyed learning things about myself too. If y'all are wondering, These people are also EFSJ's: 

Nancy Kerrigan

Alicia Keys

Shania Twain

Mariah Carey

Whitney Houston

Elton John

Sarah Jessica Parker

Jessica Alba

Selena Gomez

Alyson Hannigan

Jenniffer Garner

Anne Hathaway

Hugh Jackman

Isha (not verified) says...

Honestly, everything is right except the career paths because I absolutely love Accounting and anything to do with developing softwares and websites!

Cassidy (not verified) says...

Just wanted to point out that all the famous ESFJ's listed are white. I would encourage you to find people of color to include in this list. 

Paula8 (not verified) says...

I 100% agree with you. I found this link that has more (though not a super satisfying amount of) diversity: https://www.thefamouspeople.com/esfj.php

Ohdeedoh (not verified) says...

I noticed that too! It's okay to diversify and represent the general population,; this would be a small and easy thing to do and pay off big dividends.

Chadwick Boseman (not verified) says...

Stop looking to be offended. 

ghgggg (not verified) says...

Why is it offensive to point out that a group of people has been left out?

LovetoTeach (not verified) says...

I totally agree!!

BlairWitch76 (not verified) says...

I am absolutely an ESFJ! I'm always the one to offer very sincere, heartfelt words when required, but rather rigid with routine, not at ALL religious, but always the carer and listener for friends, family....and strangers. I always seem to know what to say at the right time, to make people feel at ease, or happier with themselves. I'm great at building people's own self worth. I don't really gossip, I tend to keep things to myself (so not sure about the gossiping bit?) but generally, the ESFJ completely summed me up! 

Chey (not verified) says...

My mom is esfj and she always critized me for being spontaneous, unpredicted, unorganized and not traditional. I just like to be my own myself. I even fought with her often because she's neither rational nor rigid and TOO DAMNKIND, that people like to manipulated her, damn! 

A month ago, I just had a fight with my esfj friend cuz she's hurt by my words, I just being honest with what I say too that she brag about past and I even don't care about past, even I'm kinda forgetful person, ugh. 

 

I'm a ENTP btw

Squid (not verified) says...

I always hated the phrase "just being honest".  It's usually an excuse to be an a**

Vhee (not verified) says...

90% accurate, I see a lot of this in myself. Glad I'm getting some understanding into my highly emotional state.

Alexa Arrat (not verified) says...

Esfjs/isfjs/Enfj/infj my soulmates friends family of this type we just get along. I love people who are feelers and people focused who are practical and there to help everyone.

Guest (not verified) says...

creepily accurate !!

Sasha2.0 (not verified) says...

I can't believe how accurate this is! I notice I get antsy if I don't interact with someone at work! I work as a corporate recruiter and I enjoy having the people interaction, yet I have all these processes and hierarchies and order that I also like. These results are really helpful in me trying to understand my next career move and what would make me happy. 

balen (not verified) says...

hey you iam esfj i want to be friend with someone with my type plesase dont tell me why you want be my friend it is my type lead me so could you be my friend we are in different country so we be able to help us to know more about us

Amanda P (not verified) says...

my teacher made me do this....

zaddydaddy1234567891011 (not verified) says...

tbh this is way off and I dont agree one bit! this is horrible and i regret spending 20 minutes on here. thanks tho

JennyT says...

This is so true!! I took this test years ago and have always been an ESFJ. I recently started a position that has very minimal people contact and I gave my notice today. I need people!! I am also a licensed Realtor so I will focus on being the best Realtor I can be. 

 

Jennifer Thompson (not verified) says...

JennyT I am also an esfj and also a licensed REALTOR! 

Fern314 (not verified) says...

Same!

iain (not verified) says...

hi

An INTJ (not verified) says...

I am an INTJ that lives with an ESFJ. And I can definitely say that yes we are total opposites and boy is it challenging to live with, haha. Love her but yeah, I get along better with this family member when we live a few thousand miles apart!

ENFPBUTTERFLY (not verified) says...

That is not a good match at all. Feel sorry for you!

An ESFJ (not verified) says...

I don't blame you.  I definitely appreciate the INTJs in my life. But I don't want to live with them. I think a respectful distance keeps our relationships going well.

ESFJ (not verified) says...

Wow this result is so accurate, I dont know how they know me :D

Thanks, it was really good to see read about myself

Judith Norman (not verified) says...

wow so accurate ..amazing and I work in the medical feild go figure, I love people and helping them brings me JOY !!!

Brody (not verified) says...

This test is so inaccurate and was originally was made to be a bar game and then two people Mrs. Mires and Ms. Briggs made this test with no scientific background.

JohnnyJohnny (not verified) says...

HE IS RIGHT

RyanMitchell5 (not verified) says...

Definitely me ! 

Lessin says...

I feel that this personality type is the most likely to be taken advantage of. How can I do things to check myself to keep from being a door mat or being sucked in by a narcissist? In my immediate family, I think my mom is an ESFJ and I am an ESFJ and my sister is an ISFJ and we have all married and divorced narcissists. What can we do to be less likely to draw those people in?’

An ESFJ (not verified) says...

I had a narcissist "friend" for awhile.

Confidence in yourself and lack of self loathing seem to be effective traits for getting away from a narcissist.

Mine was decent at first but later on I realized he had started gaslighting me. I don't mind being wrong sometimes, but according to him I was wrong about everything I ever called him out on. I knew that couldn't be correct. I have an ENTJ for an older sibling. I know how often I'm wrong. :D

It was my first experience with a narcissist and he has a twin who is actually really sweet. I gave him several chances thinking he was just not super adept socially. One day I was spending a lot of effort trying to comfort him about something he was sad about and he got mean. I ended up crying because I thought he was just misunderstanding me. But he wasn't. And he didn't care that he had hurt me.

At that point I quit trying to be soft and sweet in that relationship. It was the end of him for me. I had caught on to his game.

INFJs get caught a lot too. They are often empaths.

Employer Guest (not verified) says...

We've been interviewing for painters (specifically industrial painters, but many still have a background of sorts in commercial and residential painting) and part of our application process now (after previously hiring "on the fly") is to have candidates take an MBTI personality test. Time and time again a great majority (good and bad) come back as ESFJs with a smattering of ISFJs worked in.

Unfortunately many painters are notorious in their industry for having a combination of bad work habits/ethics in combination with a highly desired/well-paid/marketable trade (especially in the current economy). We've noticed a trend that when the scored percentage is low in the Judging (under 70%), that it really eflects in their work habits and even application follow ups. Just thought this was interesting enough to share based on our experience.

Stuart Haig (not verified) says...

I'm an ESFJ, and the careers section of this could not be more inaccurate (for me at least) if it tried to. Not a single one of the "good careers" listed intrest me in the slightest. In fact, I would run a mile from many of them (Teacher and Surgeon), and would simply destest doing others (HR Manager).

Oppositely, the carrers you list as to be avoided, are the ones I find the most interesting. I actually work as an Electrical Engineer (have been now for over 10 years) and absolutely love my job. I also like working with other engineers (Mechanical Engineer I note are also listed), and would be fascinated to listen to a Power Plant Operator or/and an Airline Pilot. 

Stuart (Scotland, UK) (not verified) says...

Load of crap! I am an ESFJ and despite what nonsense this says, I have been working as an Electrical Engineer for 11 years  ans I LOVE my job! Honestly, I can't think of a job I'd enjoy doing more, and, aside from other electrical engineers, I can't think of a better bunch to work with than civil and mechanical engineers, which I do in work on a daily basis. Not a single one of the jobs listed in the "good careers" even remotely interest me, and many I would just run a mile from.

This just furthers by belief of how poor the MBTI really is.

Ted says...

This test is very accurate.  Unfortunatley I am split between I and E, F and T, and J and P.  This makes it much more difficult to put me into one hole or the other.  Some online tools reflect the percentages of each of the types more than this tool does.  It might be helpful to add that to the results of this appraisal.

schuyler weatherly (not verified) says...

I found this very interesting about my personality type but i would like to talk to someone about this that has the same type of personality. If anyone would like to email me feel free because i would love to get to know more about my personality type from someone elde. 

Liz Chou (not verified) says...

Very accurate!! I also read that Tylor Swift is also ESFJ! Lol

Sha nay nayyyyy says...

I'm pretty certain that Ariana Grande is too (based on me knowing and understanding her as well as I can and then looking through the personalities).

Madason (not verified) says...

My friends an ESFJ and I, as an INTP, can tell you that we are exact opposites.

kaleigh hopkins (not verified) says...

I am esfj. It says i am sensitive and dedicated, and put my friends and family first. I am very dedicated to anything i do and am also sensitive. I agree with these results. I agree with all of the descriptions. The most inspiring thing was that Martha Stewart is like me too because me and my mom use to always watch her. The careers were nurse, counselor, and a social worker. I learned that i am caring and attend to an emotional environment.

Heidi C. Taylor (not verified) says...

This is very accurate and describes me very well. I share a lot in common with what this says about the ESFJ.

Guest (not verified) says...

OMG, it's really accurate and it helped me in deciding my gcse subjects according to my career. I'm lovin' it

Rick Dandes (not verified) says...

How did your personality affect you in school and later in your career? Was it a strength, a weakness or both?

Mucheru (not verified) says...

This seems like it is based on a body of knowledge it is true amazing and i think should be developed further to test gifts and talent at a very elementary level to shape career paths for children

DaSplosh (not verified) says...

My parents have always wondered why I do things like help people etc. I didn't even know why until I read my results from this test. After my parents read it, they said they felt as if they had overcome a barrier of misunderstanding about me, and I have become better friends with them since.

Guest (not verified) says...

I am an INFP and my significant other is an ESFJ and our compatibility can be a struggle but our differences make us fit together like a puzzle. For everything I lack he has as a strength and vice versa. Almost as if we are puzzle pieces that fit. It's easy for me to get down on life and want to with draw into myself and separate from the world and his outgoing positive mindset pulls me out of that. And when he is pushing him self too far to please others or is extroverted happy go lucky nature gets him going nonstop and he forgets to sit down rest and take time for himself my introverted cautious nature slowes him down and reminds him that it's okay to take a day off. The differences were hard to get used too but once we figured out how each other works there is not another kind of person that I would ever want to be with.

Guest (not verified) says...

I am shocked at this. I thought maybe I was mad for caring so much about people and also feeling so much need to have a loving family. I am a mother of one and my partner has two from previous relationships. I care for all my kids so much it sometimes worries my close friends cause the other kids were from my previous relationship. But after reading this I can confirm 98% I am not mad at all But I don't see black and white all the times and I am easy to welcome change if its explained to me well. I am a provider and I cant change that. My office is always having people walking in sad and leaving happy. I love my job. I am in finance but can never work in an organization that makes profit. I was NGO's and Charity Organisations that makes my day worth waking up and getting ready to see the work. But at times I feel like some people take advantage of my personality and use it in the wrong way. I would like to find out how I can then change that.

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