I'm an ENTP type and as you know I'm so curious and wish to have variety in everything as well as sexual relationship. But I wanna marry and I'm sure my wife won't put up with it... Help me about it...tell

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Guest (not verified) says...

Think with your N and your T instead of your P-ness. Here's the big picture: you want to be happily married for a long time, so rationally you know you're going to have to make some sacrifices. Now most people think of sacrifice as trading something good for something bad...not so. You're trading potential variety of sexual partners for the thrill of making another human being deliriously happy the rest of their life by being faithful and devoted to them - not a bad trade-off at all in my book, and also note I said "potential". Sure you may be hot and spicy now and able to make it with different women all the time, but the day is coming, my friend, when like me you'll be gray-haired and paunchy, and then you'll want to be like me - making sweet love every night to a woman who knows what I like. And you'll want to be STD free, and not paying child support for kids you never see or alimony to a woman who hates you, and all the other benefits of wedded monogamy. Big picture, remember?

You're an ENTP, so you like variety. But you also like to tweak and tinker and see if something good can be made better, and if something better can be made even better than that. Apply that to married sex. You don't have to use missionary style every time, and you can tinker and tweak and make it better and better with the same woman for decades. And since you're an ENTP, you hate cliches and conventional wisdom, so think out of the box that says once you get married (or have kids) the thrill is gone. You and your spouse's bodies and hormones will change, kids go through developmental stages, careers and interests change...the context of your sex life will be constantly changing and you'll need to use all your ENTP powers of creativity and ingenuity to keep a deep and sensual relationship with your partner.

I'm an ENTP. Married nearly 20 years to my one and only sex partner. 4 kids. Never been happier with my sex life; I think she'd say so too. That's my three cents' worth, hope it helps and hope you have a great life!

Guest 2 (not verified) says...

Thank you for this comment. I have been a bit dislussional recently whether to be engaged with my partner, who i have been with for the last year and 2 months.

I struggled to understand that a commited relationship is healthy and full of wonder, but because of my personality type, ENTP, i thought perhaps i may want to find or date more partners to stimulate my creativity and innovation. This comment helped me realised that i can be commited to one woman all my life and still share a bit of curiousity and creativity in our sexual life. I think this society has really succomed to this consuming mindset, for example, "I buy something and if it doesn't work the way I want it to then i must get rid of it." I think this generation has really fallen into this trap which results in never really coming to appreciate the gift of the things in front of us, the people we live with, the creativity in the world, in literature, in nature, the appretiation of improving everytime we fail. I'm only 27 years of age, i don't claim to have all wisdom, but i have seen the damage people have done to others due to irresponsibility and leadership. Thank you for sharing some gold to us, im sure more will find your words very helpful and impactful. Im looking to be happily married to my beautiful wife and to cherish her in every healthy way and to build a strong healthy family. Thanks!

UmmJosiah (not verified) says...

I disagree. There's over 3.5 billion women in this world, and if you're curious and/or have doubts about marriage- it's probably because the person isn't right for you, or you aren't ready. I'm glad wife and kids is happy, but why make plans for when you're old and paunchy when you could die at any moment, the marriage could fail as 50% of them do, and regardless of how happy some moments may be- you're ultimately going to remain conflicted and have to deal with this inner turmoil for the entirety of the marriage. Also, no matter how much you mask that turmoil or run from it it's going to cause riffs in the relationship. Also also, if you do live to be old, there will always be single women who are also old an paunchy (statistically they outlive men, so you'lol have even more options). I think marriage is great for people who want it, who want to settle down, who enjoy routine and stability, but that sounds god awful boring as shit to me. I also think marriage is a bit of a dated concept in the society and world we live in now-a-days... why would you legally tie yourself to someone if you don't have to, you can still have everything you want. Ultimately, I think you should be as sure as the guy from the last comment if you are going to commit to someone for the rest of your life; otherwise, love freely, be safe, be responsible, and don't waste your partners time with indecision. Know what you want and get it. Maybe you'll mature or figure out a partner open enough to jive with you. That's all.

jeanne basantè says...

I think  s animals, it is only natural for us to desire multiple partners. I am not believer in love and even less in "forever lasting passionate relationships". We all evolve and grow differently and so sticking with the same person (that may have been right for you at a certain point in your life), forever is impossible. Although you must remember that if you commit to marriage, and therefor swear to be loyal to that person only and not commit adultery, you cannot have sexual relations with other poeple. If you did engage in sexual relations with other poeple, it would be immoral. Even watching pornographic material would be immoral. "anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery". This is a bible verse and since marriage is a religious sacrement, I find it appropriate to use it (though I am not religious.) So, when asking what you should do, you have two MORAL options. Either you stay with your wife and ONLY her, or you divorce her and engage in multiple sexual relationships as a single man. There is also another approach, which is risky and religiously immoral but that you could still try. Even though you claim your wife wuld not put up with it, you could still try and ask her if she would be willling to be in an open marriage where BOTH partners are allowed to engage sexually with other poeple. Although I must warn you that open marriages do not often work and both partners have to be willing to share their spouse both mentally and physically. 

 

sisiri says...

I am surprised as an ENTP type you would even want to tie a knot? I am typical ENTP; so I never wanted to get married; but got a great relationship with freeroamer, and we never ever have any issues when it comes to wanting to have sex with other people. It's all in the mind

 

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