This is very interesting how accurate this theory is about describing my self.

Comments

Guest (not verified) says...

Oo

Guest-intj (not verified) says...

I, too, was a little taken aback by the accuracy of the descriptions. When I read this, I got that feeling in my stomach, not quite butterflies, but the deep satisfaction you get when you have discovered some bit of knowledge that you have been trying to tell people all your life. It can be lonely when very few people understand. I do,though, sometimes fear the generalizations that some interpretations lend. It is too easy to use the right words to describe some(every)body. But, taken as a whole, these descripitions fit me just about as clearly and perfectly as anywhere I have looked. And, honestly, I have no fear about ANYBODY reading this. I always struggle with people close to me understanding just what I mean, or am trying to say, or what makes me tick. So many of my close friends say I "just see the world differently." I am proud to say that "yes I do!," and I secretly say "I'm sorry you don't understand." I didn't realize that only 2% of the population are INTJ's. I knew it was low, but not that low. This helps me understand just how many people out there in society really don't "get me."

INTJon (not verified) says...

I had a similar experience when I first took the test. It was a relief to discover that I actually fit into a defined category and that my personality type was rare. Throughout my life I have struggled to understand why other people cannot see what is so clear to me. I have also beat myself up over my difficulty forming relationships that last. I take great comfort in knowing that there are people out there with whom I can relate. The challenge is in finding them and connecting with them since invariably they will be as socially difficult as I am. :)

K (not verified) says...

No offense, but we all prefer our own company, INTJon! (said with a big smile, I'm being silly) Actually, we should all work in the same office together so we can leave each other alone to get some things DONE, already, then go home with no after work hangout pressure! I feel the same way about the test results, I know why I'm always the square peg, and why I'm accused of not liking people when I've hardly talked to ANYONE (apparently that's the problem) I understand why people look at me like I've grown a second head when I say that common sense is dead. I also fail to understand how people miss so much that's right in front of them. I've upset people by giving my honest analysis of their question instead of the answer they wanted (oops..I truly meant well, that's why I was honest)
Don't beat yourself up over the relationships. I found that I was willing to come out of my INTJ box a little to keep the ones that mattered most to me (a total of ONE, besides my kids).
We are good people, we just prefer to form meaningful relationships with the one in a million that resonate deeply.

S. (not verified) says...

Wow, I could have written this.....after all these years, I've finally figured out why I have had certain problems! Glad to see there are quite a few more of us, even though we're supposed to be the rarest type. My husband often says (during an argument) how 'honestly, I don't think I've ever met anyone like you!!!"). Now I can tell him 'that's right....you probably haven't!'
!

Guest (not verified) says...

I am a female and only 1% of female population is INTJ. Most people think I'm boring and unemotional.

gn (not verified) says...

we know you are not :) best regards to the rarest kind.

Guest (not verified) says...

Im a female too and most people think i show or have no emotions. It gets annoying because they don't know me. I don't show my emotions often only when i am with people who are close to me.

Dina (not verified) says...

I have been called monotone and haunting.

JB (not verified) says...

I too am an INTJ female, I've been called a Robot, and socially awkward, to my face. nice huh?

Rose_Rose (not verified) says...

I'm also an INTJ female - and I've also has been called a robot. I chose to take it as a compliment to my efficiency and logic. Honestly, I don't see how their opinion of me matters anyway, as long as they don't get in my way.

lisavishoot says...

Another INTJ female here... While I haven't had the word Robot thrown at me, (and I'm sorry for those of you that have) I HAVE been called aloof, distant, "hard-to-get-to-know", serious, etc. My sister, who is a year younger, is my polar opposite and when together in social situations my "uniqueness" is accentuated for me. At those times, I feel the inability to connect to anyone & everyone like she easily can so deeply painful. I've learned to use humor to interact at those times, especially with people that otherwise wouldn't "get" me. It works, but it can be mentally exhausting and tense to constantly adjust your persona for the crowd you're in. I wonder if since we're so rare, we INTJ's would end up eventually connecting with each other in a random crowd, given the right circumstances. It'd be an interesting experiment. Either way, we are all in great company with each other.

psychrn7n says...

I am a male, and an INTJ. Find it hard to find male friends, and not interested in close female friends due to being happily married to someone who appreciates me. Second marriage, now almost thirty years so far.

I am not an introvert, but prefer peaceful surroundings, and am not very expressive or humorous. That might explain why I was always impressed by Mr. Spock of Star Trek. He focuses on the problems and the solutions. He sees human emotion as a problem or a curiosity in most cases. I appreciate emotion, but want it to be controlled by rationality. When my stepdaughter died of leukemia, my wife was very upset with me for not showing enough emotion. I tend to shut down emotionally and become numb in such tragedies. I call it stoicism, and think most men are more like me.

I would love to have a couple of good male friends. My old ones are in another state where I lived decades ago. I just can't seem to find time to seek out friends. I do not attract them easily due to being INTJ.

I work long hours daily at finding and classifying important internet stories into over 200 subjects. I then put them on the web for anyone interested. That may seem like a strange interest, I am retired and enjoy it. Being a news hound, I wanted to make my research valuable to others.

Sorry for all the I statements.

Retired psych RN. M.A. in counseling.

Alexander (not verified) says...

To be quite honest I always knew I was different, always knew I wasn't like other people my age, whether if it were when I was a kid or in my teenage years which are still ongoing. I didn't care for small talk and didn't particularly like very many things, I still don't. I only have two friends whom I'd call brothers. Throughout most of my life I believed I was a monster in human skin because of my overall hatred towards the people around me. I still believe this to be true, there is next to no one I can relate to and sometimes I just wish I could give into my emotions, but I can't. It's not that I don't want to release my anger or hatred, but I literally can't do it. My reason for hating most people is the fact that they are content with what they have and don't ask questions whether that be politically, spiritually, philosophically, etc. They are more than willing to kill and die for something that they don't know or comprehend. Metaphorically speaking; it's like I'm a dog trying to help guide the sheep while at the same time fighting off my animal instincts. This is why I consider myself a monster, because my hatred comes from my caring nature and I know that there will be a breaking point. However, back to my original point; I was always different or "weird", but I never felt it was an insult. In fact when I was in school I purposely separated myself from the majority of the student body. Normal teenagers want to be popular or to fit in, I despised the idea of becoming popular. I had the capability to be a prep, but denied it completely. So instead of being part of the normal "cliques", I made my own place as a Nobody. Even to this day I feel like I'm a nobody, but oddly enough I feel a slight sense of pride in being a nobody, because negativity is easy to spot. All I truly want is for people to actually care about each other's existence, not separated by political, religious, or any other kind of views. Deep down all anyone truly wants is peace.

Xx5HADOWxDILAxX (not verified) says...

I understand i feel the same exact way.

Guest (not verified) says...

I can't say I hate the people around me, it's more that I don't understand them, and obviously they don't understand me. I don't understand our world and its borders and the need to classify people according to their skin, colour race gender etc. I'm an idealist for a world where we respect each other and their needs to be themselves, and live wherever in the world they like doing what they are drawn to. I'm also criticised for being aloof, I have few people I call friends and prefer meaningful conversation to general chit chat or gossip. I would love to find someone to be in a relationship with, but the more guys I date the more critical I become. Jobs have also been a problem, if I lose respect of my boss or colleagues I go on a self destruct mode and end up leaving as soon as I'm able.i too also find putting on my people friendly demeanour tiring. I've been wondering why I don't make friends easily or guys who say they like me don't stick around. I think I now know why!!

KennethTWillicker (not verified) says...

Good grief, what I get a lot of is that I am aloof, arrogant, and most particularly that I supposedly think I am superior to everyone else. What I witness is that most people want to follow the trend, parrot the latest comments, opinions and attitudes, and run with the herd, which is where they feel social safe, even when giving the appearance of being a rebel. They offer one another validation, but where I am concerned, as an INTJ, they are deliberate in denying any social reinforcement. Here is an example: I explain to a "friend" that while I was vacationing in a foreign country, I found that with my limited knowledge of the language I would have to think carefully before I spoke, and then in the most concise and concentrated manner of speech. And what I found was that I was speaking in a highly original manner, and that on several occasions the person I was speaking with became very excited and repeated back to me what I had told them, and following each of these incidents I later found that what I had said was being repeated around the country, from one end to the other, in only a matter of a couple of weeks. Of course, I found it interesting, and it told me something about how long it took for a saying to travel around the country. My "friend's" response? It was very invalidating and offensive, while feigning at understanding and supportive. I forgot her as a friend in the very moment.

female INTJ (not verified) says...

Yeah me too. And i'm friend with ESPF. So challenging yet i learned lot from her. *sigh

Guest (not verified) says...

It's ESFP, you know that, right. *sigh sorry if you think I'm being rude or anything. Can't help it sometimes.

tinmanandheart says...

I have had a handful of people call me a high functioning sociopath... and then when I educate them on the difference they don't see it.

EngelbertHump (not verified) says...

Check this one out:
This is why INTJs want to keep people at an arms distance and why independence and self sufficiency are paramount. I rented an apartment from a retired engineer. I asked him if he buy paint, and told him I would paint the place. We went out and bought the paint, the best paint, top of the line. Only, he insisted that his nephew paint the place. I knew what that meant, and sure enough the guy arrived with his friend and in no time at all they destroyed the paint by adding excessive water to it, so that he could have a free gallon of paint to take home with him. Premium paint to watered down waste in no time flat. I bought more paint and rectified the situation to my satisfaction. Ok, this is the mundane world of the extrovert types which we try to shutter outside for good reason. I mopped the tile floors and cleaned all of the thick grime out of the corners and along the walls. It took considerable time and effort. And when I was all done, and after I had gone through the additional detail of sealing the floors with a satin finish, a woman shows up on my doorstep, announces that she is the maid and that she will be coming by twice a week to mop my floors and to tidy thigns up, she tells me all of this while she is beaming and looking at the floors and all about the place. She tells me she will keep the floors spotless. But she is the maid who left the floors looking like a filthy shambles. She has already invited herself in, and as she talks she walks about opening up cabinets and the refrigerator to see what I have placed in them. A naural born snoop. I told her politely that I did not care for her services. The third time I told her, she responded by telling me that she would only arrive once a week, and after I saw what a lovely job she did I would change my mind. At that point I shouted at her to get out, which drew laughter from neighbors. Not done yet, but I explained to the very intelligent and amiable engineer that the formica counter top in the kitchen had a significant bubble and buckle in it. I asked him if he would consider buying some tile. He agreed. But that night I realized that if one small section of buckled formica were cut out and tile were introduced to that section only, it would provide and excellent cutting surface, and an area to place hot items, without going through the trouble and expense of tiling the entire counter top. Unfortunately, the engineer's response was that he had already contacted a contractor and they would be out the following day. They came out. They dropped off a box of tile and returned two weeks later. They had simply marked their territory, to hold the job. And, after they applied the tile I learned something interesting about what they had done, which was to use a tile setting substance which was not water resistant, so that whenever and wherever the tile became wet around the sink, the moisture immediately seeped beneath the tile, spreading around and loosening them. Not one person, the nephew who did the painting, the maid hired to mop floors and straihten out, or the tile man was able to get a simple job done right. And my first guest? They were clever enoguh. Noticing a closed box of cologne, they realized that I would not be wise that they removed the actual container and stole it. And, a later guest who was alone in a room for no more than ten minutes was able in that short time to break a fountain pen on a seat cushion, and to turn it over so that I would not know what occurred until long after they left. Meanwhile, there were two gorgeous looking girls who were very outgoing and who showed clear signs of being interested in meeting me, but owing to all of the previous individuals I was feeling overloaded and lacked confidence in their company. That is how it often seems to go. We can only handle so much, and what is potentially good, better, and pleasant can end up taking a distant back seat or being shut out owing to unwanted intrusions of people we really don't want much to do with in the first place. I think extroverts pick up on that, and they will deliberately bombard an INTJ so that the INTJ will isolate, feeling like they have had enough. I believe that narcissists are much more likely to be extroverts than introverts, and there is good reason to think that way.

Sarah T (not verified) says...

I am female as well and I feel like I really understand myself a lot better now that I have read about the INTJ personality. I have a hard time dealing with emotional outbursts, particularly from my mom and sister who I'm sure are some sort of emotional type. I also FREQUENTLY get told that I disappoint anyone who tries to surprise me or give me a gift as my reaction to either is typically underwhelming. My husband also claims he will know if I am going to enjoy someone's company by asking them just one question beforehand which is "do you read the newspaper?". He claims that if my company is not up to date on current events that I will assume they are unintelligent and unworthy of conversation. Can anyone else relate?

gn (not verified) says...

i could not agree more. i somehow always felt different (not in a negative/bad way) and wondererd why many people could not name and see the obvious logic behind things. now i know why :) ps. tonight i had a lot of fun reading about social stuff having to do with my intj profile. i allow to quote from another nice text (from http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/INTJ):

"Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.

This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness."

Made me laugh a lot because it is so true!

lisavishoot says...

Thanks so much for posting that, GN! I feel like I'm examining myself under a microscope reading all this. My raging awkwardness in social rituals has a name now. And knowing all of this has probably saved me a lot of $$ and time in therapy too, lol!

EngelbertHump (not verified) says...

I went through university, all of a year, reading books on meta-communication, semiotics, and socio-linguistics, and believe me I could pick up on linguistic patterns, social patterns, and the underhanded nature of much social communication; I also studied works on ritual social behaviors from "ancient" times, and could see how these manifest themselves in modern life.

Guest (not verified) says...

Very true. The accuracy of the description is particularly shocking to me. It was as though this person was studying me very close for a long period of time

Guest (not verified) says...

Reading your comment & those of others I can't help but think, "Finally! I'm not the only one." Most of the comments written would have been my exact response also.

Guest (not verified) says...

I had the same feeling. I wouldn't say it's 100% accurate for me but certainly at least 90%.

Mrs.INTJ (not verified) says...

I completely agree. I have parents that actually did more hurt then help when it came to raising me because of the fact they didn't understand what i needed or who i was. To finally be able to explain something so complex with four letters is amazing to me. I am so glad that i found this web-site.

williamfrederickkho says...

Just us and our not understood INTJ Selfs

Guest (not verified) says...

I also feel this way when interacting with other people, and, like you, found great satisfaction in reading a description that perfectly depicted my personality. Also, because I am female, which is even more rare among INTJ's, I have trouble with communication with other girls, since very, very few are in any way similar to me.

Guest (not verified) says...

I just assumed I preferred the company of men and I was just not 'girly'!!

Guest (not verified) says...

It is great to know where we fit in, but the problem still remains as to how to explain this to other people. Rather than search for understanding, most people write us off as quirky antisocial beings when really all we want is to understand. Getting someone to that point that they understand that is often to much work.

RosieCotton (not verified) says...

This is only my second online post, so I will apologize ahead of time. Anyway, I'll try to get right to the point: I need some help with love problems. It's not as serious as you think, I promise. I think I like this guy. The main problem comes from the fact that he is also an introvert. As far as Briggs-Myers goes, that's all I got (he's an Ixxx). I know he probably won't make the first move to become -at the least- friends, so I guess it's up to me... How do I start?

Guest (not verified) says...

Be a true INTJ and tell him directly =)
For a lesser shock on his part, you can still be direct and ask him to be friends.Plus he's a guy so being direct always helps. I am an INTJ female as well and my partner is an Ixxx too !

RosieCotton (not verified) says...

Oh, yeah, and I apologize for my navigational skills. Once again, second post online. Ever. Anyways, the description of INTJ really describes me.
*leaves to search for hidden cameras* :)

Guest Wael (not verified) says...

I am a male INTJ who happens to face, as many of you fellow INTJs, difficulties been understood by the society around me whether in work or family environment. It was pleasant and satisfactory to know what my real type and how rare it is and that I'm not kind of an alien or out of the world like many people would describe me lol. The problem is, however, is to overcome challenges like being social and getting along with people who are making a high percentage of our society and we're making a small percentage of it. Sometimes we need to see the life simpler and look at with a naked eye rather than what we usually do, analyzing everything :)

Guest (not verified) says...

I have mixed feelings. Vindicated, but a little less optimistic. Frustrated, isolated. Wondering how to apply this to my circumstances.

What do you guys do for work? I'm a wedding photographer, but I'm also looking for a more regular kind of day job.

S. (not verified) says...

I have been a teacher, not just in the U.S. but a couple of other countries. I've done some freelance writing; am finishing writing a book, and have been an admin. assistant, among other things!

Guest (not verified) says...

i recently had my job interview. I was applying as an auditor. The supervisor was asking me, what particular traits do i have that would help me get the job. I said that i am snob, sensible and very rational. (That was the first time i was really true to myself during the interview). The interview went well and she hired me :) I think my INTJness helped me.

epn2015 (not verified) says...

I have the advantage of having known my type since the middle 1980s- almost 30 years now, and I have been researching it since then. I also researched my (ex) husband, Mother, father, all my friends, and everyone I could get my hands on for a good many years! And I had the advantage of genuine "type" scholars, to boot. It's a fascinating field. I highly recommend David Kiersey's book, Please Understand Me, to help understand not only yourself, but also your significant others. It helped me a lot. A study of Jung's theory, if you're really into the origins of the type theory, is also interesting. In terms of social and romantic relationships: good luck. Kiersey's book title says it all, and most people can't, especially female INTJ's. I've found it especially difficult in work environments, outside of higher education. We have to make a real effort to conform to environments that just don't fit, and it's very difficult. Often they can't see our gifts because they are blinded by perceived "faults." It takes a. while to get to know us and get past any mistaken perceptions from our "inscrutable" or snobby" exterior. So in one job I tried to be "Friendly and helpful" and was accused of "trying to network." Very frustrating.

O.D. (not verified) says...

It's so refreshing to hear that others feel the same way that I do. I am a female with a science and engineering background. I felt more "normal" in that arena, but when I went to work in business and during some volunteer efforts, I just couldn't understand how NO ONE else seemed to see things the way I did. A while back, my friends told that I treat people and matters "like lab rats," and I worked very hard to change that as it was never my intention to come off so cold. However, somewhere along the way, I lost that sharpness and confidence in my views and intelligence because I was incentivized at work to take on and manifest different personality traits or less dominant aspects of my own personality. I really just want to hit reset and go back to being my true INTJ self.

Guest (not verified) says...

I completely relate to this. I'm a female starting my first year of college and I've been told many times by friends, family, and partners that I'm "cold" and "too blunt". Over time I think I started to try and hide certain parts of my personality so that I would feel more accepted by the people around me. I'm so glad to know that I'm not alone, and that my natural personality is something that is normal and understood by many people. I think now that I'm in college I will finally have the opportunity that I needed to get to know others like me and to let my true personality manifest itself without me trying to hide it.

Guest (not verified) says...

I'm a 13 year old female INTJ, and I find this personality type an exceedingly accurate description of myself. I've always seen things a little differently, and am fascinated by how things work. I'm remarkably logical, thoughtful, and analytical, and enjoy understanding scientific theories. I happen to be a perfectionist, always needing my work to be as good as it can be, and overthink almost everything, turning simple questions into much bigger problems than they should be. I hate being put in the spotlight, and like to think over and edit my answers before presenting them to anyone. I've never understood many of the interests of other girls my age, but have luckily been able to surround myself with people who get most parts of me. It takes me a long time to trust and assess potential friends, but when I do, I'm usually quite loyal. I imagine that it could be difficult to be my friend, because sometimes I can be closed off and reserved. It really bothers me in group work when people don't pull their own weight, or try their best. I often like to plan things beforehand, and usually have to see the point in something before I do it. All in all, though, I'm proud to be the way I am, a rare personality type who can see the world in a different way.

dehayward says...

I tested as an INTJ a few months ago. As a young child I felt "different", but not in a negative way. As teenager I couldn't care less about being popular and peer pressure was virtually nonexistent in my world; I distinctly remember being told by female high school friend that everyone else thought that I thought I was "cool". I found her comment funny because what I really thought was "I don't care what ANY of you think because we only have to deal with each other until graduation." What they perceived as self-confidence was really indifference. The reality was I didn't try to be popular but had a few friends and a girlfriend which was enough for my social life. In adulthood I've learned to navigate other people's feelings a lot better which has helped the social aspect in the work environment. My technical skills are above average but I strive to get better. It's typical to have a VERY close working partner in my field of work but I cringe at the thought of that. Fortunately, I've found a niche that's allows for more independence, thus lessening the need for a "work spouse". I relish getting to know myself much better. Good luck fellow INTJS.

Cenepk10 says...

When I told my sister I tested 81 % assertive she screamed " Is that ALL ? " Hahaha…..

dbroach says...

It has been refreshing to read the comments by other INTJ Females. Thanks for being real and for making this a place to come and feel "normal" for a break from the world who thinks I should be more nurturing, empathetic, and patient.

Bard says...

It's been interesting to eavesdrop, so to speak, on this conversation. Full disclosure: I'm an INFP, and I've recently been deeply hurt by an INTJ whom I had considered a good friend. So while I'm going to try to be as objective as I can here, no doubt my biases and resentments are going to creep in, and you should take my comments with as many grains of salt as you think they need.

I get being different from most of the world. My type isn't quite as rare as yours, but we're not thick on the ground either, and our particular special-snowflakey qualities for the most part are not those valued in 21st-century America. Being a male INFP, I even understand a little that "rare subspecies of a rare species" thing that female INTJs experience. (My former friend is a woman.) And, believe me, I get that relief at finding people who don't have to struggle to appreciate or understand me, but just get me. I was *so* happy to discover that there are whole forums filled with INFPs! I found a whole thread of "INFP 'Porn'" on another forum. Kittens! Don't even look. You would be disgusted. :-)

At the same time, we've got to understand how most of the world operates and learn to deal with it. Not that I have to tell you that; most INTJs probably have more natural aptitude than most INFPs at the practical aspects of navigating in the world. Personally, it's been a struggle for me, and personally I've found it goes easier when I can manage, not only to understand, but to appreciate the differences. Easier said than done, of course. But I figure there has to be a reason for the world being full of so many types of people, not just all INFPs as logic would seem to suggest. (I kid, I kid.)

Every individual and every type has strengths and weaknesses. (Says Captain Obvious.) It seems to me that a fair part of the good life, the examined life, is understanding and appreciating both, and learning to work from and build on our strengths, work around our weaknesses, and not get overly caught up in either. (Not to mention learning how our strengths and weaknesses are entwined.) We INFPs make good mystics and poets (in case anyone is hiring ...) and, if I do say so, terrific friends, but then we drive our friends nuts with our messiness, lateness, and self-doubt. And sometimes alienate them and lose them when we give in to our needy and clingy impulses, as I've once more learned to my sorrow. You INTJs, judging from the few I've known, are scary smart and have an uncanny ability to cut through conventions and appearances to how things really work; you have a dark and quirky sense of humor that I absolutely love; and I totally want you on my side when the zombies attack. On the other hand, I think sometimes you forget that people, including yourselves, have feelings, and that for most of us the emotional content of a message or situation carries as much weight as the data. And it can be really hard to hold onto you, no matter how much we may like you.

There's no good or bad about it; there's no "us" that is better or worse than any "them." I'm glad we've found a place where we can talk with others like us, and even with others who are unlike us once in a while. For what it's worth, there are those of us non-INTJs who don't hate you, and even appreciate you and think you are worth understanding. :-)

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