I recently dumped my boyfriend of 3 years because I wasn't happy and I didn't like who I was becoming (naggy, over controlling, negative, very very stressed and anxious). However, he is a good guy! He has anger issues and is very reactive and let's his emotions get the best of him, however he loved me unconditionally. So it was very hard to let him go. I am very heart broken and I worry about him because he gets panic attacks and he was very attached to me. A lot of people in my life always thought he wasn't the right guy for me because he brought me down a lot and I love to go out, do new things and live life very open-mindedly. However, I was, and probably still am, blinded by his good qualities. I lost my best friend because she and him did not get along, and she always thought I should leave him, but I left him too late. How do I heal from this? I feel very very guilty and empty, even though, ultimately I know I made the best decision for both of us.

Are there any INFP's out there who has experienced a hard break up? I wish I could be one of those girls that just doesn't give a crap and could just easily go to the next guy, but I care too much and sometimes this gets the best of me. Any feedback or advice/guidance would be greatly appreciated :) :)

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Guest (not verified) says...

This is currently happening to me. I love my boyfriend but the past few months have been filled with turmoil. He kicked me out yet I still stay over every night instead of my own studio because I can't let him go. I care about him so much, we are best friends. He is now my only friend. He has anger issues as well with sudden onsets of emotion that sometimes I never see coming. It's like as soon as things are good he gets scared and pushes me away again. I'm tired of fighting but I just can't handle being without him. Everyone else in my life wants me to leave him and they think that I have but I really have not. I feel like a crazy person. I just care too much about him and i think I always will.

Ingrid31 (not verified) says...

Hi. Im an INFP also and I had a very bad break up once. I can relate to that kind of feeling, in my case it was a relationship that transformed my world but seemed that nothing could fell together. He was an excelente guy but I had problems with my family, my friends, he was in an important stage of his career, I was also and I felt like even when we love each other so much, it was always like fighting against the current, everyone thought I should end that relationship, that it was not getting the best of us and with all those problems still we were so attached to each other. In my experience, I can tell that INFP could never just "go with the next guy". For our kind of personality,it's initially hard to give ourselves to other,there is people that you can be naturaly connected and others that take you time to get there. But once we do we dig so deep in our feelings, get so attached and connected in a deep level to the people we love that is hard to let go. I can totally relate to what you are going through. In my story, I know that it was not meant to be for me with that person and I have felt strong feelings for other people after that, but I never completly forgot him. I have realize that an INFP cannot simple erase and forget his/her deep connections. I feel in someway connected with the important people that has being in my life (that are not many, because we are very selective) and I dont think that is going to change, each of them got to a special place of me and left with a piece of me, probably it will happen the same to you after this breakup. But you can live with it, and you can consciently make the difference in your mind and know what is good or not for your life. Doesnt look to me that relationship is good to you and can make you grow. Doesnt mean that he's a bad person but it sounds like a lot of work. And that's a tendency that INFP has, we think that we can fix somebody, bring the good of that person or make him/her better and in that journey we tend to forget about us and suppress ourselves..Blessings to you.

Katiet (not verified) says...

I know exactly how you feel! I have always been the one to break off my relationships. I wil get several months sometimes years into a relationship and suddenly become over anxious and realize I'm not happy. I let my people pleasing side get the best of me and too often hold my feelings letting myself become moody and distant. Then I break up with the person and feel so guilty like I've let an amazing person go even though deep down I know we are not compatible. My advice is to learn to trust yourself when you decide to end something. We are very intuitive people and are good at judging a situation even if it's difficult. Sometimes the feelings take over but you just have to let them and focus on voicing your needs and chasing your own happiness!

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