Months ago I met an ENTP and he was Very taken by me, flirted and acted as if he couldn't believe the conversation. Kept shaking his head and saying first impressions are SO very important. But hes in another relationship and told me hes trying still to make that work. After months of sporadic very personal emails & coffee together I asked for space. I was starting to really care for him. But now every few weeks he sends me a short email, asking how I am. But never tells me how he is or gives any specifics. I have asked for friendship for now but I guess he cant give that. I wish he would either ask me out or just stop contacting me. Why does he contact me and why wont he share anything personal with me? This is starting to hurt for me because I feel he really likes me but is scared.

Comments

Guest (not verified) says...

He could like you very much, but be lying to you as he may be married and that is why he wont move forward.

Guest (not verified) says...

Sure I considered that, but in that case what's his benefit of a random email each month? He knows I have very high values. I never see him. So why waste the calories on me when we dont even see each other to flirt anymore? To me ENTP's have intelligence and common sense like mature INFJ's. Told me he sometimes types ENFP which might mean his Ti is not that mature? But then his non disclosure of any thoughts makes no sense because my many ENFP friends do not hold their thoughts to themselves, but I think ENTP's do right?

Thoughts? Dont hold them close lol :-)

KOBurf (not verified) says...

I'm an ENTP woman married to an INFJ man. It works because he's also a Linux engineer and is great at "coding for the desired outcome." What I mean is that he uses his understanding of how I process to get the result he's looking for. You are clearly no slouch intellectually and hardly need advice. Maybe it's more validation that you need and I'll share my 2 cents. His circumstances are entirely irrelevant. People and particularly ENTP people do exactly what they want. He wants to email you so he does. The odds of him wanting more decrease in direct proportion to the amount of B.S. you are willing to put up with, which of course, you most likely already know. I fell in love with my husband because he's very clear about what he wants and never minds that what I want changes on a daily basis. Who cares what your ENTP is or isn't thinking about or why? Get busy making your own priorities the focus and the universe (even the ENTPs) will conspire to help you get it. Tell him he can email or not as he likes. You may or may not find time to reply. Get busy having a great time doing whatever makes you happy. No matter what you win.

UmmJosiah (not verified) says...

I agree with koburf... but I will add (having probably put many girls in a similar position as you find yourself) that you need to be direct with him. Give him that ultimatum and he will solve your problem for you. I'm selfish, and have a hard time grasping/ understanding people's emotions, and I certainly don't go out of my way to factor them into my decision making process, but I'm not outright disrespectful. So when somebody tells me what's best for them and how I do or don't fit into that, i respect that. Just be clear, and be ready for him to potentially be gone. If you do really like him- I would leave room for future conversation after he is done with his current relationship, which will eventually not work out.

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