Forever preordained to be a lone wanderer. Constantly I crave a deeper connection with someone. Friends and strangers open up to me. They bring me all of their problems. Big, small, deep, shallow. I listen, I care, I do whatever I can to help. They feel understood, and the satisfaction I feel when I see that brief connection in their eyes, when they realize that I do understand what they're saying, that they're not alone, is one of the greatest rewards I have ever experienced in life. Yet nobody listens to me. I have nobody who I can talk to on a deeper level. The few relationships I have had have been short lived, and I feel very alone. I like being alone a lot of the time, but recently In the last couple years I have truly yearned to just talk to someone and share an understanding. The few times I have opened up and tried to share, all I get is this disinterested look.. Trying to persevere through it, all I get is this panicked flickering gaze as if they think "why is this person saying these things?" I cannot be this complex.. It is a constant quest for me to try and find someone, anyone who I can share with. Feeling a bit beaten down lately so I thought this might be an ok place to vent a little..