A lot of shit has been going on these past few years. (I'm 16,5)

Things seem to constantly be changing pace back and fourth. One second a friend is trying to kill herself, then suddenly my entire friend group groups up and starts attacking me, and I get ejected out of the entire thing. Friends get depressed, one friend gets raped, friends are having trouble staying friends with each other etc. Sometimes it feels like I finally found my place, and then the next day nobody's talking to each other and it feels like everything is falling apart.

As for my love life, they're either too clingy, too far away, too stupid to satisfy my ENTP needs, too experienced etc. There's always something wrong. And the thing is, I get really fucking emotional in the evening compared to mornings. Tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and regret writing this, just as I regret every flirt I commit in the evenings, by the time morning strikes. I once had a solid little long distance thing going with a girl, but after being struck by like 2/3 panic attacks I just fucking blocked her, because I couldn't take it.

And all these bottled up things have been constantly bothering me, and left me really on the fence about my mental health. Because of my natural carefree attitude I sometimes feel like I am completely content, then 5 hours later when the evening strikes, I listen to old songs and lay paralyzed from bad memories.

For the record, I don't think I have any lasting depression or greater thing behind this, but what I've been considering is just talking to a professional about it, but I simply cannot bring myself to do this.

1. INTP mom makes me extremely uncomfortable when she's trying to be nice and caring and all that, because she's fucking horrible at it. I wish she would just stop caring tbh, because it doesn't work for her.

2. I don't want it to be known for the people around me. My father, my friends etc. I just feel like it would change things so much and complicate things for me. This especially goes for my depressed ENFJ friend who I care about immensely and don't want to feel like she's a burden to me. I've been working on trying to get her to trust me and be able to rely on me more, and I feel like this stuff would ruin a lot of it.

In conclusion, I really don't think I'll be seeing any professional any time soon. What i really want out of this post is to just see what kind of response it gets. I kinda just wanted to vent here, if you will. Any response is appreciated.

Comments

Wwilson (not verified) says...

You gotta wait and see what happens with you and your friends. Unfortunately, their emotions are out of your control, and only time will tell. In the mean time distract yourself. Find some new things or hobbies to do. I don't think you'll have much problems with that being an ENTP. As for your love life, haha that's a natural entp trait. You'll easily find a flaw with everything be it with an argument or a love interest. Just dont be too critical. Remember love isn't supposed to be calculated and/or logical. (Maybe a little bit?) With your mom, just appreciate she's trying something. As you said she's an intp, that makes her you know, like you, not really emotional and showy.  Kudos to her for trying you can imagine how hard that is for an NTP. 

My advise would be find someone to talk to. I mean if you cant bring yourself to a professional, try to look for someone with enough experience to understand you and give you the response you need.

Kai_Medina (not verified) says...

Hey man my name is Kai I live in Seattle. First of all, ive never once posted a comment on any forum discussion or youtube video for that matter. However right now I couldnt help but clicking on the title of this discussion out of sheer relatability. And I want to let you know that reading your post was like looking into a mirror for me and i wanna let you know how much of a relief it is to be hearing that there are other people going through the same shit i am. 

I am an ENTP just like you, stressed out about mentally unhealthy friends just like you, with emotional nights and unsure of my own menal health condition just like you. My point is, you and I are, at least we seem very similar. So hopefully the advice im about to give you helps you as much as it has helped (and is helping) me.

First of all, as spontaeneous rationals (...NTP...) we're absolutely terrible at self-emotional awareness. In fact, were shit at most types of emotional awareness, at least i am. And as spontaeneous individuals, throughout our day we're often distracted by things whether it be school, friends, family, etc. So at the end of the day when we're laying in bed with no distractions but our own thoughts and selves, the underlying pain or anxiety we feel or maybe overwhleming feelings and emotions rise up to the surface. Because theres nothing to distract us from them! at least thats how it seems for me. So my first and most important piece of advice to give you is recognie when youre distracting yourself during the day from these feelings and practice bringing yourself back into focus. Because if you ignore them theyll only get worse and eventully they will turn into mentl health issues like depression and such. Basically, DO NOT DISTRACT YOURELF! itll f**k u up in the long run.

I know itll be hard but you have to talk to someone at least. whether it be a professional or close friend. Which brings me to my second piece of advice, find someone you can talk to about what youre going through. I understand theres a bad stigma around males/guys who see therapists, being called a pussy and shit like that. I had to get over that and it was hard but worth it. In the end seeing a therapist or needing help is just like going to the doctor for physical problems, only now theyre mental. 

I hope this was helpful I left my email

Mii Ryouma (not verified) says...

hey, 

you're solution is just few researches online ahead of you.

try to find an INTJ friend,

in real life, social media..... etc

and u will never ever regret that friendship.

you will find it as the new beginning of an amazing life, trust me :)

But first, try to learn about the INTJ people.

 

good luck ;)

Rach (not verified) says...

Stop worrying so much about personality types if you vibe with somebody then you vibe dont worry about the science behind it. Live your life 

Renzo (not verified) says...

Yeah bro,  

Take it easy. Our brain is wonky and all over the place but focus on things that really matter like mental health, family,  school. Relationships come and go and it'll take care of itself later. Just try to build yourself up. Help your friends as much as you can, thank your mom. Most of all, remain calm and take your days one by one.

It does get better. It has for me. I'm sure it will for you.

Kpurple/\; (not verified) says...

Ok that's scaraly relatable and Kai_Medina is scaraly really smart.

amberglass (not verified) says...

well, this is a late response, but what the heck I figured I'd throw in my two cents worth.

Bro, I can't imagine how it's gotta feel with all that crap happening to you. And yeah, this isn't a myerrs Briggs solution, but bear with me-

When things are falling apart, its tempting to tell you its gonna be okay. It might be, but I can't promise you that. I don't know where you're coming from religiously, but you sound like you could use some hope. Are you familiar with Christianity's teachings? No, not mainstream Christianity. I'm talking about the real deal here...the fact we live in a really messed up world, with messed up people. And cuz of that, we all deserve to be punished (hell)And that there's a God who cared enough to right the wrong, taking the punishment for all our mistakes himself by dying, and then raising to life. Salvation and hope come from Him, as a free gift, through trust and belief in Jesus... not something you earn or are automatically granted...

i think the other comments covered the psychological answers, and they're probably good advice on handling everything. But you said you were interested to see what kind of responses you'd get, so here's a unique one lol, several months late and definitely ...different. If you're not into the religious due to scientific objections, I'd suggest the book a Case for Christ. Being an entp, i apreciate his logical approach to the clams of scripture. Of Course, check out the bible itself. :)

best of luck to you bro

 

Kevin L (not verified) says...

It's funny because I was thinking about this very issue today, then I came across this thread. It could be a classic ENTP rant, but what I wrote today was, "Our Ti function (which is where those negative, overly analytical thoughts of ours come from) can turn into over-thinking, depression, anxiety, and self loathing,  without some sort of stimulus. At the first sign of a relationship our Ne function is going crazy, foaming at the mouth over all the possibilities this new relationship has to offer, and as things go on, you begin to pick apart each, little, thing, until you rationalize with yourself that you don't truly love them and that you're soulless. Without a problem to be solved or a question to be answered, we lack a stimulus, and our overactive brains need something to focus on and think about. Step right up to the plate, you just entered into your own personal roast. Ti begins to analyze all your interactions: everything you said, how you moved, what would of been better to say. I remember catching myself in thought one day, "God she probably thinks im weird. She didnt laugh as hard as I thought she would at my joke. Maybe I'm not that funny. Maybe my breathe smelled weird? Did I brush my teeth this morning? Fuck I forgot didn't I. God I'm such a peice of shit I cant even rememeber to brush my teeth. When was the last time I bought toothpaste," and so on and so forth, you get the point. When this happens we can be absolutley RUTHLESS to ourselves, it suprising we have as much confidence as we do. The idea to counter this, and I'm sure you've heard it elsewhere, but to be mindful of these thought patterns. We have countless (I often wonder how many) thoughts bolting through our head at every given moment, we often forget that our thoughts arent who we are. But when you have as many racing through our brains, it can be difficult to filter at times, which leaves us feeling hopeless and overwhelmed. It comes with practice. A huge one is when you notice those times where youve been laying in your bed or sitting in your car, unmoved for a half an hour, WRITE. Write everything that is going through your head, because then you are conciously acknowledgng those thoughts, and therefor you have the power to deny them and choose which ones stick. You're also very young. High school sucks. We don't fit in, we just don't, but at the same time, it's kind of badass. Like lone ranger status. Just understand that you have a grander idea of how everything is and works, more mature than other kids that age in my eyes. People fear what they don't undersand, and people hate what they don't understand. Make time for your family, friends that you believe are authentic people, learning, and self reflection. Don't suppress who you are, you will make the most real of friendships by doing what ENTP's do: learning through trial and error. Friends will come and go, but you will make friendships that will last a lifetime by just focusing on those four things I just mentioned. Ok now I am gonna stop otherwise this will turn into a thesis paper. Cheers to all you ENTPS, if you guys want to get together and take over the world let me know. 

DoniDarkos (not verified) says...

I am really surprised to see how many people actually relate to this while I am completely detached from the topic as a whole...For starter, the very idea of an ENTP being so emotional and having hard time to deal with them already seems pretty absurd to me as in we normally don't let our bothersome emotions to drive us or make us question our existence and what have you but seems like many people actually do feel that way pretty often (I think personality type has little to do here).

Overall finding someone to talk to and unload all this crap is the best way to go as mentioned above me.

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