A lot of shit has been going on these past few years. (I'm 16,5)

Things seem to constantly be changing pace back and fourth. One second a friend is trying to kill herself, then suddenly my entire friend group groups up and starts attacking me, and I get ejected out of the entire thing. Friends get depressed, one friend gets raped, friends are having trouble staying friends with each other etc. Sometimes it feels like I finally found my place, and then the next day nobody's talking to each other and it feels like everything is falling apart.

As for my love life, they're either too clingy, too far away, too stupid to satisfy my ENTP needs, too experienced etc. There's always something wrong. And the thing is, I get really fucking emotional in the evening compared to mornings. Tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and regret writing this, just as I regret every flirt I commit in the evenings, by the time morning strikes. I once had a solid little long distance thing going with a girl, but after being struck by like 2/3 panic attacks I just fucking blocked her, because I couldn't take it.

And all these bottled up things have been constantly bothering me, and left me really on the fence about my mental health. Because of my natural carefree attitude I sometimes feel like I am completely content, then 5 hours later when the evening strikes, I listen to old songs and lay paralyzed from bad memories.

For the record, I don't think I have any lasting depression or greater thing behind this, but what I've been considering is just talking to a professional about it, but I simply cannot bring myself to do this.

1. INTP mom makes me extremely uncomfortable when she's trying to be nice and caring and all that, because she's fucking horrible at it. I wish she would just stop caring tbh, because it doesn't work for her.

2. I don't want it to be known for the people around me. My father, my friends etc. I just feel like it would change things so much and complicate things for me. This especially goes for my depressed ENFJ friend who I care about immensely and don't want to feel like she's a burden to me. I've been working on trying to get her to trust me and be able to rely on me more, and I feel like this stuff would ruin a lot of it.

In conclusion, I really don't think I'll be seeing any professional any time soon. What i really want out of this post is to just see what kind of response it gets. I kinda just wanted to vent here, if you will. Any response is appreciated.

Comments

Wwilson (not verified) says...

You gotta wait and see what happens with you and your friends. Unfortunately, their emotions are out of your control, and only time will tell. In the mean time distract yourself. Find some new things or hobbies to do. I don't think you'll have much problems with that being an ENTP. As for your love life, haha that's a natural entp trait. You'll easily find a flaw with everything be it with an argument or a love interest. Just dont be too critical. Remember love isn't supposed to be calculated and/or logical. (Maybe a little bit?) With your mom, just appreciate she's trying something. As you said she's an intp, that makes her you know, like you, not really emotional and showy.  Kudos to her for trying you can imagine how hard that is for an NTP. 

My advise would be find someone to talk to. I mean if you cant bring yourself to a professional, try to look for someone with enough experience to understand you and give you the response you need.

Kai_Medina (not verified) says...

Hey man my name is Kai I live in Seattle. First of all, ive never once posted a comment on any forum discussion or youtube video for that matter. However right now I couldnt help but clicking on the title of this discussion out of sheer relatability. And I want to let you know that reading your post was like looking into a mirror for me and i wanna let you know how much of a relief it is to be hearing that there are other people going through the same shit i am. 

I am an ENTP just like you, stressed out about mentally unhealthy friends just like you, with emotional nights and unsure of my own menal health condition just like you. My point is, you and I are, at least we seem very similar. So hopefully the advice im about to give you helps you as much as it has helped (and is helping) me.

First of all, as spontaeneous rationals (...NTP...) we're absolutely terrible at self-emotional awareness. In fact, were shit at most types of emotional awareness, at least i am. And as spontaeneous individuals, throughout our day we're often distracted by things whether it be school, friends, family, etc. So at the end of the day when we're laying in bed with no distractions but our own thoughts and selves, the underlying pain or anxiety we feel or maybe overwhleming feelings and emotions rise up to the surface. Because theres nothing to distract us from them! at least thats how it seems for me. So my first and most important piece of advice to give you is recognie when youre distracting yourself during the day from these feelings and practice bringing yourself back into focus. Because if you ignore them theyll only get worse and eventully they will turn into mentl health issues like depression and such. Basically, DO NOT DISTRACT YOURELF! itll f**k u up in the long run.

I know itll be hard but you have to talk to someone at least. whether it be a professional or close friend. Which brings me to my second piece of advice, find someone you can talk to about what youre going through. I understand theres a bad stigma around males/guys who see therapists, being called a pussy and shit like that. I had to get over that and it was hard but worth it. In the end seeing a therapist or needing help is just like going to the doctor for physical problems, only now theyre mental. 

I hope this was helpful I left my email

Mii Ryouma (not verified) says...

hey, 

you're solution is just few researches online ahead of you.

try to find an INTJ friend,

in real life, social media..... etc

and u will never ever regret that friendship.

you will find it as the new beginning of an amazing life, trust me :)

But first, try to learn about the INTJ people.

 

good luck ;)

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