I'm a 17 year old INFP about to finish high school (I'm in the exam phase), and while I have been getting ready for my exams, I encountered many problems in my friendships which just brought me down and now I don't even understand who I am anymore. I have realised that many people I was very close to have just left me behind or don't like talking to or being around me anymore, and this made me confused especially since I'm not sure what I did to them. I just decided to not say anything about it to anyone and just continue to tackle other problems and not my own. I spent most days just trying to push down my feelings but eventually I wanted to understand if the way I am as a person is the reason why I have been left by many close friends. I do feel alone a lot more now, and I imagine all sorts of bad things happening to me due to all of this, but it has been quite a while and it's best for me to overcome the sadness since it may affect how I am whenever I write an exam, and I want to finally feel happy after so many weeks of not feeling like myself. So now, my question is how would other fellow INFPs overcome this?

Comments

Rach (not verified) says...

I'm a 25 yo infp who had a similar situation with my friends from high school. At the time I didn't understand it, but looking back on it I see why it happened. As an infp, I function better with one or two close friends who really under stand me. I also think that I was just friends with the group I was friends with because I didn't have a better option. INFP peeps tend to be more introverted and creative, which can lead to us being mis-seen by others. My advice to you would be to find a few friends who really mean alot to you, and understand you, and stick with them. It also doesn't matter what your personality is, (and i know it sucks)but your high school friends aren't forever. 

Anne says...

I am an INFP who has just turned 60 and spent spent most of my life from my teens acting out as an ENFP in order to fit in. The friends who are not wanting to hang out with you are not your people. You want quality not quantity when it comes to friends. I had forgotten the effort I had made as a teenager to change and it became who I actually thought I was. It was exhausting and had me moving totally away from my authentic self until now. So now I recognize who I truly am as an INFP and am finally living as my authentic happy self. Whatever you do stay true to who you are and live your life true to your values. It took me a lifetime of being totally off track to come back around to who I was always meant to be. 😊

Mary Anne (not verified) says...

Anne, I recently turned 44, and I agree with you. I am also a true INFP, and I have wasted so much energy trying to be an "E" to fit in, and getting off track from my genuine Self. I am just now recognizing that this way of living is not sustainable. I have known it for years, but this is the first time I am actually doing something about it. 

Abby G (not verified) says...

I’m basically in the same situation because I’m an INFP & a senior in highscool, and I can completely relate to you. What I’ve had to tell myself, and what I can say to you is, do not stress the friends that do not stick by you. Find those quality friends that you feel like you can be yourself around, and you feel valued by. I’ve had to maintain convenient relationships with people in sports and classes, but these are not necessarily the people I see myself being close to. Time will present you with opportunities to meet new people to connect with, and take those opportunities! Going out of your comfort zone to meet new people who seem interesting can definitely pay off.

Reign (not verified) says...

I'm an 18 year old infp, and was in the same situation as you. They just forgot about me as if we we're never friends but hey you deserve people who see's your value and accepts you for who you are (no matter what your personality is)  move on from those people they are in your past now and find people who truly treasure and accept you as who you are. It will be though at first but trust it will get better, someday you will find your people maybe not now or tommorow but someday. :)

Amadeus says...

ENTP: 25, Male

You are Who you are. Focuse on the people that will actually be there for you and forget about the rest. I know forgeting other people may be hard, but do what's best for you. Only you can make your life a happy one-- by the choices you make to pursue what makes you happy. Figure that out and the rest will start to fall into place.

Good luck.

Nuker89 says...

Hello, 15 yr old INFP who just finished an exam. I understand exactly how you feel, and I think the best way to deal with it is to accept the past, present, and future for what it is or what it will be. Dont cling on to the past, it only makes it worse. Try to move forward, follow you passions, be yourself, and don't wear a mask. Don't pretend that you're okay when others ask you, that doesn't help either. Be who you are, and be proud of it. Whatever comes, let it come, but stand your ground and don't back down.

Tai (not verified) says...

Hi there , I am a 24 yer old infp from the UK and I am male  , I found this a big problem for me , except I usually found my kindness being taken as a  weakness , I got called all the names under the sun but even though I'm highly sensitive this merely didn't effect me as much as it did when I saw them using the same tactics to belittle someone else ; which brought out a side to me I didn't know I had at first but I was like a steam roller , I had enough and my moral compass wasn't going to stand for it no more , my shy private approach on life was about to get flipped upside down and to be honest I didn't like this new side I was arrogant and used my pain I experienced to almost put an invisible mirror up , and show them how they are making others feel but passionatley from deepeSt darkest centre of myself . It's almost like I've got confidence when I see someone else in pain to stand up but when it comes to me I bury it analyze it , I almost don't want to say how I feel unless it hurts someone else but if I see ie bullying or something along them lines my moral compass almost surpasses all these other subtypes I have and becoming defensive for someone weaker than me , I don't know how well I've explained my view but I thought I'd like to see how many other infps are affected by this way in thinking 

SCOUT05 (not verified) says...

Hey there, I am a 24 year old female pure INFP. First off, I’m so sorry you have to go through this, or had to go through it. Honestly, when I was reading your blog, I was shocked, because I have been in your exact place. My best friend in high school (6 years ago now) suddenly cut me out of her life, for no reason (even when asked) that could be explained. It’s a painful thing to have to go through, and one starts to question could I possibly be that bad that someone could so easily leave me? All I can say, it’s there loss. Those that truly matter, whether it is a single friend, family, whoever, will be there. It does feel lonely at times, sometimes I wonder if I’m more outgoing, will more people like me? But that’s not who we are. We listen. We observe. But most of all, I think we love with all our hearts. I hope you find that true friend some day (if you haven’t already) and when you do, they’ll never make you feel like the others have. Hang in there! 

Star12 (not verified) says...

Im 17, Does anybody been trough an awakening and discovered living a lie for a long time. Just because I didn’t knew how it felt to be understood and I tried to fit in so hard, even when I felt Seperate. I had an bestfriend for 7 years, who I was too loyal too, I gave more then she could give me. There’s a lot more to the story, just curious If somebody has been trough something similar? 

Xxxx21 (not verified) says...

Im 17, I discovered that true friend after I had an awaking and discovered living a lie for a long time, now I’m finding out she is narcissistic. So tired of this world 

infpftw (not verified) says...

I'm a 17-year-old INFP and I had the same issue in late middle school. My number one piece of advice is to spend some quality time by yourself, just thinking or meditating. It sounds a little weird, but especially with us INFPs having such intricate minds we need to take time to get to know ourselves. By knowing ourselves inside and out, we can start depending on ourselves to cheer us up. As for friends, try talking to them about what you're feeling. I know it's scary, but it really is the best way to make the worries go away. True friends will take this conversation seriously as long as you show your sincerity. When I was dealing with the same problem, I was too young to understand how powerful the mind is and I eventually built up a lot of self-doubts, which is going to take me a while to break through. I know this comment is late but I hope someone who's suffering from a similar issue sees it <3

Twinkle says...

Thank you all for your comments 😊 I've actually been away for a while, taking the time to understand who I am and what I want in life, and after that happened, I actually managed to let go of some of the people who I thought I could rely on. I'm going to start university in August. Although I'm a little scared of what to expect, I am happy that I have close friends to help me through what ever will happen 😊 

Share your thoughts

Truity up to date